I wrote this since I was thinking about how much River had changed between Berlin and the next time we see her when Kovarian and The Silence come back for her again, and I realized there had to have been a time where she realized how she was acting wasn't right. In other words, the moment she realized she actually was a psychopath instead of just using the word flippantly.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

The Psychopath at the Door

Set after "Let's Kill Hitler"

The day she stole the vortex manipulator, Melody Pond went to her mother.

There was a Time Agent at the hospital, in for some sort of disease he'd picked up while traveling, and his vortex manipulator was set aside while he was healing. She'd heard some nurses talking about how it had been set there to keep him from escaping, as he kept claiming that he knew he'd be alright, but the nurses said he was dying. Naturally, she'd stolen it.

She appeared in front of Amy's house only days after the day she'd left from as Mels Zucker... So much could change so quickly when the Doctor came to play. Not all of those changes were good.

Melody pounded on the door. If Amy didn't answer, she would find her. There was no way they were going to leave her again.

But that wasn't necessary. The door opened, and Amy said, "River?"

Melody laughed "Not there yet, Mummy."

She frowned, concern quickly on her features. Melody held up her wrist where the watch-like device was strapped on tightly. "you thought you'd gotten rid of me that easily?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb!" She pushed Amy, and Amy stumbled back, shocked. "You hate me."

"I don't. What are you talking about?"

"I said, don't play dumb." She pushed Amy again, this time against the wall, and she held her there. Her mother wouldn't run away again. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to take that.

"I honestly don't know what- Wait, where are you coming from? When was the last time you saw me?"

"Berlin," she said, holding her jaws together. Amy wriggled under her fingers as Mels inched them closer to the base of her neck.

"Sorry. You regenerated. We couldn't risk accidentally telling you anything that was going to happen or-" Amy coughed "-or letting you meet yourself"

She felt frustrated to the verge of tears. Her own mother, lying, making excuses for leaving her. Her hands slipped up to cup her mother's neck, catching a few strands of red hair in the process. "Stop it! Liar!"

Amy made a noise of frenzied panic and put her hands over Melody's. Melody almost smiled. Maybe Amy was realizing that she was serious.

"Mels..." Amy said, breathing narrowly, "Your hurting me."

"You just want me to let go so you can run away again with you Doctor."

"Mels..." she moaned weakly.

Melody tightened her grip again. She wasn't going to get away. If Amy left her, she didn't know what she'd do. Where would she go? She'd have no one!

Amy suddenly became very heavy and dropped from Melody's grasp.

Mels gasped and quickly dropped to her knees. "Amy? Amy, can you hear me?"

Her eyes were open but glassy. She coughed and choked, her body shaking. She wasn't answering.

"Amy, answer me!" Mels demanded.

"I'm fine," she gasped between coughs.

"I hurt you," she realized with horror. If she'd tried any harder, she could have killed her own mother.

"I'm okay now," she said, starting to catch her breath.

But Mels was on the floor now, her hands pulling at her new hair. She told herself again and again not to cry. Not to be weak.

"You can," Amy said. "It' s okay."

Had she been speaking out loud?

A hand touched her back and she swat it away, hard. "no! I'll do it again!"

"Melody..." Amy was quiet, speaking to her like she was a child. She wasn't a child!

"I'm fine," she snapped. "Leave me alone."

"You're not. Let me help you."

"I don't need help." But she did, and she knew it. Tears started to fall as she realized she was going to have to accept Amy's help, even though she was only offering it because she thought Mels was helpless, and maybe she'd leave if she was okay.

"Talk to me," Amy said. The condescending tone was still clear, and it made Melody seethe, but she needed the help.

"I really am a psychopath, aren't I?"

It was a whimper! Her voice was so week. No wonder her mother thought so lowly of her. She deserved it.

"Let me hug you," Amy said. It wasn't a question, but she hadn't lost the too-quiet tone.

She hated it, but all Melody wanted was her mother.

She nodded, and Amy brought her close. Melody set her head on her mother's shoulders and cried. When the tears had subsided, she spoke into her damp hair. "Mother, I'm going to hurt you."

Amy looked down at her beautiful, grown up, little girl. She was red-nosed and puffy-eyed. Amy hadn't seen her cry since she was a newborn. This must be a really big realization if she was crying.

She stroked her baby's hair and said, "I've got an idea."

"What?" Her voice was small.

"Do you know anything about River Song?"

She nodded. "She does so much good stuff, even though she does bad stuff sometimes too."

"She's amazing. She'd do anything for me or your dad or the Doctor. You know you're her right?"

"Not yet."

"How about you are. Starting now. It's a new beginning."

She nodded. "Okay."

They sat like that for a while, then River said, "Mother, don't tell the Doctor about this."

"Never."