Hey guys, so ever since the finale I've really wanted to write a one shot kinda about Aria after Ezra gets shot. So this one shot just tells some of Arias feelings towards a few people after ezra got shot, includes, Ezria, Sparia, Haria, Mike/Aria, Jakaria, Mona/Aria, Riley/Aria (Riley is that guy that Aria partied with when she left Rosewood) and Aria/Alison Review please!
Arias pov
4 months after Ezra getting shot.
Ezra.
My lover, my soul mate, my everything. He was gone. Dead with one simple shot. A matter of seconds was all it took. Heartbreaking, breathtaking, sobbing seconds. I can still hear is voice being replayed in my head.
"Its so beautiful" He whispered. He then turned around, exposing the bloody wound on his chest. "Ezra!" I shout running in his arms, catching him as he falls to the ground. My heart breaks at that moment and as I stare into his deep green emerald eyes all I see is the true love he has, the true love for me. And its that moment that I know I forgave him, for the ultimate betrayal, for the absolute hell he put me through, for everything, I forgave him. Because I knew if I didn't I would regret it for the rest of my life.
That night will never be erased from my mind. It is forever imprinted in my brain, constantly playing on a loop every time I close my eyes.
I've gone through countless sleepless nights. The memory rushing back to me the minute before I can fall into a deep sleep. Leaving me having to cry until I get so tired my body just shuts down.
I can't concentrate, I can't focus, I can't even think properly anymore, without his face popping up in my mind. His beautiful face. His dark short curls, and boyish smile drowning my thoughts.
My heart will forever belong to Ezra Fitz.
Spencer.
I can't thank Spencer enough for what she has done for me. After everything she's been going through she still helps me. After Melissa coming back and Toby leaving, after finally being serious about quitting drugs, after hurting herself terribly in the woods, after thinking she killed her best friend.
My friends all understand what it is liked to loose a loved one. We've all been there. We all thought we lost our best friend, our leader, Alison Dilaurentis. But Spencer has felt the pain, the loss, the shattering heartbreak of losing someone you were in love with. Toby might have not really been dead, but she still believed he was. She still had to stare at what she thought was he dead, cold, motionless body, laying on the hard ground.
She gets it. Which is why she is able to hush my violent sobs in the middle of the night. She can rock me back to sleep, whispering sweet nothings in my ear while doing so. She doesn't leave my side at school, in risk that I will have a breakdown in the middle of the hallway and need her.
She listens to everything I have to say, even if I am just rambling on, to the point that my words don't even make sense.
She comforts me when I'm sad and listens to me when I'm angry. And for the one time she made me feel pure happiness, for the first time I actually smiled genuinely, she laughed with me and pretended nothing was wrong.
She gets it, and I love her for that. She doesn't push me, and she doesn't force me to talk to her, she doesn't tell me 'I need help' and she believes in me.
If I need to a shoulder to cry on, she's there, every time. She doesn't get angry with me, and she doesn't leave me. She will be there, and I can always count on her.
She makes me feel whole again, after I lost the one person I loved more then anything.
Hanna.
At first I wasn't sure if Hanna would get it. After all she makes a joke about everything and isn't always the best person to pour all your feelings out too. She's sarcastic and blunt, so I didn't think she would help.
I was wrong.
Hanna has been a huge help. She teaches me how to laugh again. She Isn't unconsidered of my feelings, in fact, its the opposite. She's extra careful near me, making sure she doesn't say his name. And she doesn't every make a huge deal out of the situation.
She doesn't push me to talk to her, and she definitely doesn't ask how I am doing every minute. Because even though she cares, she cares deeply, she doesn't want to remind me that I'm not ok every minute. She'd rather just remind me of hilarious memories, and tell me jokes.
She helps me go back to a time that was much simpler. She reminds me of a time when, there was no -A, there wasn't a murder once a month, and there wasn't Ezra. She reminds me of when it was just all five of us, gossiping, partying, and having sleepovers, doing normal teenage things.
She is just what I need sometimes. Someone to not be so serious with. Someone who I can laugh with, and joke about pretty much anything. She keeps me sane most of the time.
She distracts me from the awful thoughts I have and instead fills my mind which much happier, funnier thoughts.
She's an amazing friend, and I don't know how I'd get through without her.
Mike.
The first night I came home, I tried to ignore Mike. Thinking that all he'd do what make some stupid smart ass comment about how I can't get 'frisky with fitz' anymore. I tried to pretend he wasn't around, and I avoided all my family as much as possible.
Mike didn't make some stupid comment though. In fact he kept his mouth shot for a long time. For the first little while, he'd just pretend nothing had even happened. Making casual conversation with me at dinner, and flashes me short, sweet smiles when we passed in the hall at school, nothing really changing.
Thats the way it was until one particular night. Thinking I was going to be home alone all night, after my dad saying he would be working all night and my mom being half way across the country with Zach and Mike staying at a friends house, I ended up waking up from a terrible nightmare, shaking, and scarred I just wanted the comfort of someone. As flashbacks of the night played in my head I found myself shutting my eyes and closing them tight, and screaming out into the darkness of my room. Screaming one name. Ezra.
Not knowing anyone was home, when my door knob began to turn slowly it only frightened me more, leading me to scream louder. Mike then appeared in the doorway. His usual happy, soft features, were sadden, and hard. "Aria…" He whispered softly. "Mike" I said back to him, just as softly, my screaming stopping, relived it was just Mike and not an intruder, or worse, -A.
The exchange of our names was all we needed. Mike made his way across my room to my bed. Sitting down slowly on the edge. With a simple look in his eyes, he silently asked for permission to approach me. I nodded allowing him to lean down wrapping his arms around my small figure.
"Its okay, Aria" He told me, rocking me back to sleep. The last thing I herd him say before falling asleep was "I love you, Ar" and I love him too.
Jake.
Jake tries, he really does, and thats all I can really ask from him. We may have broken up, and we are probably never going to be together again, but he's still a friend.
When he found out he hung around me a lot. I think he wanted to get back together. I think he was trying to get close to me. Waiting for me to get over Ezra so he could make his move. But he realized I was never going to get over Ezra, and well if I did, It wouldn't be anytime soon.
Eventually he stopped trying to move in on me, and was just there as a friend. He would try to distract me by watching my favourite black and white films with me but it would just end up reminding me of Ezra and leaving me in tears.
He always told me he would protect me. He told me that I didn't have to be afraid of anything, because he would always be there.
We slowly drifted apart slowly, so slowly that we really didn't even realize until we'd go days without talking. That turned into weeks, which turned into months until we just didn't talk anymore.
I knew that if I ever needed him , he was only a phone call away, and if I ever needed the comfort of a guy like him, if I ever needed his protection, he'd be over in a heart beat.
I never really was in love with Jake. Even from the beginning when I first got together with him, he was really just a distraction, a rebound actually.
Because I will always love Ezra Fitz, and Jake might have been an amazing friend to me, but thats all he ever was and ever will be, a friend.
Mona.
I never thought in a million years that a person like Mona Vanderwaal would be able to help me so much like she did.
When the tragedy first happened, Mona was the last person on my mind. I wasn't really going to school, and when I was, I wasn't paying attention, so I definitely wasn't seeing much of Mona.
I had my friends, I had my family, and thats all I wanted. Mona didn't fall into either of those categories. And to me, she was just a heartless bitch, who could screw anyone over for her own benefit. I mean, she was -A. How could I ever trust a girl like her.
But on one afternoon, at school, she confronted me.
I was sitting in yet another boring class, not being able to focus on anything, and instead found my mind drifting off to more thoughts of Ezra. The bell rang, signalling that the class was over. Everyone stood up quickly relived to leave the class, and myself specially was extra fast. I collected my things and rushed out of the room, already feeling tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I made my way to the girls washroom entering quickly. I starred at myself in the mirror, watching as the first tear escaped my eye, rolling down my cheek. Another tear followed the last, and then another and another until I was full on crying. I really wanted a friend, anyone really. Spencer would be great, but knowing how much Spencer thrives in school, I wasn't about to make her late for class just so she could comfort me. Hanna would also be a good help, right now. But opposite of Spencer, I didn't want to make Hanna late, knowing that she probably has too many lates and can't afford another one. There was also Emily, but third period is next, which is phys ed for Emily, meaning that Emily is probably already at class extra early so she can change and get ready for her favourite class of the day. I wasn't getting a friends comfort today, so I tried to be strong and stop the tears. Before I could calm myself however, none other then Mona Vanderwaal, came into my sight. Walking into the bathroom, only to meet my eyes and stop dead in her tracks. "Oh, Aria" She said slightly awkward, unsure of how to handle this situation. I sighed deeply, knowing I needed to pull myself together in front of Mona. I began walking to the door, prepared to leave, but Mona stopped me. "Aria, Im sorry" She said quietly, looking in my eyes, with a sincere look. My eyebrows furrowed. "What?" I asked, confused. "I know how much pain you must be, losing the love of your life like that, and I'm sorry" Mona told me, so serious, so sincere, so genuine, it was truly something I never thought Mona would say. "Thank you" I said to her, not sure what else to say.
Mona will always be a wild card, you can never know, if she's lying or not, and most of the time you can't trust her. But that particular day, that moment, I knew she was being honest. I knew she was being real. And I'm thankful for that.
Riley.
Riley was the ultimate distraction. Being able to just cut back with him, was great. Being able to cut back, and just be reckless with him made me feel alive after I felt dead. It was like a fuelling fire, that I couldn't stop feeding once I started. I needed to keep going, keep making bad decisions just so I could numb the pain that I felt.
I wouldn't say I'm in love with Riley, I wouldn't say that at all. But I do love him.
I needed someone who didn't know me, someone who couldn't judge me, someone who I could do absolutely anything with and it wouldn't matter because chances are I would never see them again in my life. Riley fit that roll perfectly.
Riley taught me how to be a reckless teenager again. He taught me that life doesn't have to just be stressing and studying and worrying over and over again. He taught me that life could be fun.
I did a lot of things with Riley, bad things, things that I wouldn't ever think I'd find myself doing. But I don't regret any of it.
I may never see Riley again, or have any form of relationship with him, but there will always be this special place in my heart for Riley. A place in my heart reserved for this boy, this boy, we taught me how to be free.
Alison.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about Alison. After everything we went through together, all 5 of us, theres still a huge part of me that just can't trust her.
She was with Ezra, and that devastates me. The fact that her lips was on his first, and her hands were on his body first, makes me hate her.
But at the same time, I can't hate her. Because she's Alison Dilaurentis, the one and only, she was my best friend, she was who brought us all together and without her I wouldn't have Spencer, Hanna or Emily.
I definitely had a lot to thank her for.
After two years of every one believing she was dead she's finally getting ready to come home, and it excites me and scares me at the same time.
I don't know if she'll be kind and understanding towards me, or just be a total bitch again and try to run our lives.
I know that the four of us won't let her do that even if she tries but I would still rather her just be kind to us in the first place.
Things are going to change when she's back, either for the better or the worse, I don't know. But they will change.
Aria.
My life has turned into a hurricane. A giant mess of feelings and emotions that I can't control. I am broken and lost without Ezra and I dont know when, if ever, I will get over it. I don't know if I can ever love another man, like I loved him.