"Roxas? Roxas get out of bed!"

I shuffled slightly and groaned, lifting the pillow above my head and pressing it over my ears. "Shuddup Sora! Go back to sleep." My voice was groggy and harsh, but my body was warm beneath the thick quilt, and I'll be damned if my little brother is going to ruin that today.

There was a heavy sigh, the sound of boots pressing against wood, and then the beautiful warmth that had blanketed me was gone and the nipping, nibbling cold was biting at my bare feet. I shivered and cursed loudly, turning around in a jolt and growling as the brown haired nuisance sat giggling with my warm blanket in his devilish hands. Bastard. "Sora, what the hell! Give me back my quilt or I swear-"

"Cloud says you've got five minutes to get ready before he kicks you out of the house butt naked."

I faltered and he smiled, his brown fuzzy hair bouncing slightly atop his head while I mumbled and slung my legs over the side, wincing when he dropped my precious blanket and opened the blinds to let in the traitorous sun that blinded me, forcing me to squint. The wooden flooring was cold, freezing even, and it took me all my small minds might to set my feet upon it.

"ROXAS! GET YOUR SKINNY ARSE DOWN THESE STAIRS OR I'LL BE KICKING IT DOWN!"

I groaned as Cloud's stressed voice came running up the stairs to greet me in a good morning wake up call. The sound of laughter made me look to my right, still squinting in the light at the brown haired twat that shared my room. Why mom and dad had to leave me with an accident like him I'll never know.

"Told ya." Said twat laughed, ducking out of the way of my sweeping hand and skipping to the door. Yeah, you heard me right. Skipping. In case you can't guess, my little brother is gay. Yep, he's got a golden ticket on the back door train express. Me? Nah, I'm as straight as they come. Not that I've got anything against gay people, hell I live with two of them (yes, Cloud is also gay. You see the problem I have now, yes? Having two hormonal gay brothers does not make for an easy ride on my part).

As Sora left I got up and shrugged the sleep from my shoulders, rubbing my tired eyes with my palms and pulling on a pair of black pants I found on the floor that were torn and scratched. After routing around for a belt I finally gave up and nabbed one of Sora's brown ones (flinching at the striped rainbow colours the others had) and pinched a pair of his socks while I was at it.

Let me explain. Me and Sora share a room. Due to the little misfits demands, there is red tape going dead down the centre of the room (literally) and low and behold, all Hell shall rise dare I step a toe over that line. But Sora isn't in right now, hence it's safe to steal his things and trash his perfectly arranged side of the room. My own side is a little less pretty. I can't step across the floor without something sharp scratching me, there are clothes hanging from the lamp by my bed and I'm pretty sure something shiny just moved in the closet. Oh well, I'll get to it later I guess, if I can be bothered that is.

I was knelt between two piles of clothes on the floor, in the middle of routing around for a shirt or a top I could wear, clean or not, when I heard the sound of angry footsteps march up the stairs, and I knew it was Cloud. I looked up just in time to catch the door flying wide before my older brother's angry face stepped into the lime light and I smirked up at him. His shirt's untucked, his tie is loose about his neck and I'm pretty sure his pants are on backwards. Oh yes, big brother is not in a good mood this gloriously crap Monday morning. But are any of us really? Can I really blame him for being the angry little nut that he is? No, I'm afraid I can't. Why? Because I'm the one who causes his angry escapades more oft than not. But hey, it's funny to watch him explode.

"Roxas! I told you to be ready fifteen minutes ago. I'm going to be late for work, and the new boss is supposed to be a real butthole too." He stepped into the room and towered over me while I glowered back.

"Well if you would have gotten me up on time-"

"Roxas, you're sixteen years old! Get yourself up."

I scoffed, "well I would if I could. Do you see an alarm in this room Cloud? Will you please point out the imaginary clock you can see in your stressed little mind."

He frowned and took a deep breath, and if you squint really hard you can see the little blue vein that's ready to burst on his forehead. I can just picture the cogs turning in his mind while he try's not to yell at me and scream. Ha, good luck with that one big brother. I'm going to make your morning as difficult as possible. "Roxas. Get. In. The. Car."

Rolling my eyes, I continued my search. "I can't. In case you haven't noticed, I'm half naked. I don't think the neighbours want to see my nipples while they're having their morning coffee, do you? Besides, the paper boy keeps giving me funny looks. If I go out looking like this he might knock me out with the Times and rape me or something. You never know Cloud. You can never be too careful."

He closed his eyes and stilled. A warning to all you people out there who don't know Cloud, watch out for the silence. It's never a good sign. Ever. "Roxas, I'm going to tell you one more time. Get. In. The. Car."

There was a bite to his voice that had me smiling. Damn, I love winding him up. "I. Can't. I'm. Naked. From. The. Waist. Up." I ground my teeth together and continued. "People. Will. See. My. Nipples."

The vein popped.

"ROXAS GET IN THE FUCKING CAR OR I SWEAR I WILL PUT YOU IN AN AMBULANCE!"

I laughed and fell backwards when his eye twitched. But my laughter was short lived and I made a very manly sound that ended up coming out like a squelching goat when my big brother grabbed me about the waist and threw me over his shoulder, ignoring my protests as I pounded on his back and grinned, kicking him in the face and successfully losing my big toe up his nostril. I think I can safely say I shall never see it again. So long big toe, you were a soldier until your boogery death.

There was a loud snort and my big toe was successfully retrieved, but unfortunately it was coated in a thick green slime I was a little less than reluctant to touch. Cloud bent down and picked something up of the floor, tucking it into his waist before he stormed towards the door, ignoring my protests as he jumped a little and banged my head on the top of the door. The crack was loud and I swear I lost several brave brain cells. I never used them, but that's beside the point. They were mine. I wanted them alive.

"Cloud, put me down. You are not King Kong and I am not some poor gay man you can rape at the top of some penis looking tower." I banged hard on his back with my fist and shoved my foot in his mouth, ignoring his yelp as the boogies were licked of and he gagged, almost falling before he spat my toe out and growled.

The next thing I knew my arse was stinging like a bitches behind. "Youch! Cloud, you fucking spanked me!" I was given another *cough* spanking (Damn that sounds wrong) for my bad use of language, and I was left in a limp state of shock, still naked and flashing my nipples as Cloud turned left at the bottom of the stairs and picked up something else. And then I was ducking, my hands covering my poor bruised head, as Cloud jogged out of the door, causing me to almost vomit down his back as he carried me like a fucking sack of spuds. You see? This is how much my family loves me.

He dumped me on the lawn outside in a sprawled heap and threw a shirt at me and my scuffed trainers. Aha, so that's what he picked up, useless big brother isn't so useless after all. I looked about as Cloud ran back into the house, banging the door as he went, and grinned as our neighbours across the street looked on at me with mixed expressions of horror and surprise. Mr Wise, a substitute teacher I loved to prank, was sat with his arm around his wife, who had her mouth open and a cup of trembling coffee in her hands.

"Hello Mr Wise! Hello Mrs Wise!" I lifted my hand and waved a little too energetically at them, smiling happily and laughing when Mr Wise only just managed to catch his wife before she hit the deck. Honestly, you'd have thought she'd have seen a little bit more slap and tickle in her time. When she didn't get up despite Mr Wise's numerous fanning motions I decided to pick up my shirt and shoes and scrambled into the car, slamming the door behind me and scowling at my brother, who was sat up front, as he hid a smirk from me through the mirror.

For some reason I always get the back seat. Always. Sora always sits up front with Cloud. Favouritism much? Meh, oh well. I looked at the shirt Cloud brought me and groaned, pulling on the checked shirt and licking my thumb before I attempted to scrub out some of the ketchup stains that lined the sleeves. Tch, typical, he couldn't even pick a clean top, let alone a decent one. I buttoned up the front and turned to pull on my trainers as Cloud entered the car and slammed the door next to him, throwing the suitcase he was holding back at me and sighing heavily as he put the key in the ignition and pulled out of the drive.

"Roxas, put you're seat belt on." Cloud mumbled while Sora jumped up and down and stuck his head out the window the way a Labrador does on the way to the park. It looks quite funny really, I'm sat sprawled out in the back, Sora's sat waving out the window at all the retards who are up this early, and Cloud is curled over the steering wheel, his shoulders slumped so he can fit into the car that is much to small for him while the grumpy look on his face just spells miserable. Ah well, one day you'll get a bigger car brother. 'Till then though, I am your little demon. Hear me roar.

"I can't, I have to tie my shoes."

"You can tie your shoes when we stop. Just put on your damn seatbelt!"

"I can't."

There was a long pause before Cloud gritted his teeth and looked at me in the mirror when we stopped at a red light. "Why?"

"Because they itch."

The twitch was back. "They itch?"

"Yeah, they're all scratchy and stuffy. Besides, Sora's not wearing his."

"Roxas," Sora moaned, turning back to give me puppy dog eyes. But thankfully, after many years of gruelling torture and evenings of tiring training, I have become immune to the soppy younger brother look. "Why did you have to say that?"

"Because you stole my blanket this morning." I stuck my tongue out and stared out the side boredly as I rolled down the window and stuck my feet out the opposite side, yawning and cuddling down for a small nap before the summer term begins.

"Roxas! Get your feet in the window right now! Both of you, put your seat belts on, sit up straight and shut up!" Cloud groaned, taking a right turning and flipping of the driver that honked behind him while our small red motor struggled to make it up the school drive.

"What's the point?" I mumbled. "We're here, and besides, seatbelts destroy more lives than they save."

"Actually, that's airbags Roxas."

"Shut up Sora." I grumbled, peeking an eye open when the car stopped abruptly when we went over a small bump. Strange, the school never used to have speed bumps.

"Aww," Sora's moan was pitiful and I swear, for a split second, I thought he was going to cry. "Cloud, you killed the squirrel."

"Cloud killed a squirrel?" I leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. "Where is it?"

Sora scoffed this time. "Where do you think it is? It's under the wheel stupid, where most things go when they get run over."

I frowned at him, but before I could retaliate or even open my mouth to defend my honour, Cloud was speaking again in that low dangerous tone of his. Oh yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

"I want both of you out of my car. Now."

His voice was quiet and I immediately, with slow and deliberate movements so as not to startle him, got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Cloud never looked back at us as Sora got out of the side door, and the next thing I knew there was the sound of small crunching bones and Cloud was gone, becoming nothing but a dust bubble on the horizon.

I coughed twice and blinked, watching with sceptical eyes as Sora made another pitiful moaning noise at the sight of the twitching squirrel that lay on the ground. I didn't hang around. While Sora was busy ogling the squirrel's remains I crept away and jogged over the school field, running beneath the goal posts and over to my secret spot where me and my friends always met up before school began. I swear, they are some of the only people that keep me sane, and they are some of the most mentally retarded beings I have had the privilege to know. Doesn't that just say it all?

I walked up to the overhanging vines and the thick shrubs at the end of the field and swept away some of the muck that hung there, revealing a make shift door (it was really just a piece of wire with a curtain dangling from it). Pushing it open, I was greeted with a bone crushing hug from a mop of blonde and a smear of green.

"Hayner, let go! You're crushing me, dude." The mop of blonde and green released me and I smiled at my best friend, Hayner, the most insanely cool person I have ever met.

"Bro, you have no idea how much I've missed you. Namine has been driving me mad all summer at that stupid summer camp."

"Wow, your dad actually went through with that? I always thought he was just threatening about sending you there." I laughed, rubbing my head to brush out some of the knots as I walked across the room and took a seat in the shopping cart we 'borrowed' a few moons back.

"Me too. Turns out he was being serious. I can tell you now; I have never been so scared in my entire life. The coach kept rubbing his crotch and feeding us bananas. Weird dude." I laughed at the sour expression on his face and let out a yelp when he wheeled the trolley around and tipped me out. "It's not funny Rox. Next time he says its military camp man."

I snorted. "Stop being such a wuss Hayner."

"Easy for you to say, Cloud never sends you anywhere like that, and you drive him mad."

"That's because he can't catch me." I shrugged and grinned. "If he can't catch me, he can't send me anywhere." I thought back to earlier in the day when I was slung over his shoulder like Princess Peach out of Mario… "But he's definitely getting better."

Hayner grumbled something I couldn't hear and before I could call him up on it the curtain opened and a glob of fat and brown fuzziness entered.

"Pence?" I asked, not quite believing what I was seeing. Could this blob of chunky goodness be the skinny little runt that left for Christmas break? Me thinks he's had one too many of the mice pies that were left out for Santa.

Pence turned, his gob stuffed with an ice lolly that was coloured a bright blue. He pulled it out with a pop and smiled.

"Hey Roxas, long time no see. Hey, you've gotta try these. They're sooooo good."

Hayner grinned and poked Pence's jiggling belly. "No kidding. How many of these you had?"

"Not many." Pence grumbled, swatting away Hayner's hand and turning back to me, handing me the lolly he had just had in his mouth. "Try it Rox, it's really good."

I took the popsicle from him and looked at the dribbling blue liquid that trailed over my knuckles. "What flavour is it?" I asked, gulping loudly and looking at the stick as if it were covered in sick, which it might have well been for the amount of drool Pence slavered on it.

"It's sea salt flavour." At my worried look he rolled his eyes and urged me on with a pushing motion, showing me how to eat it with his hands, just in case I forgot.

"Dude, you're not really thinking about eating that thing are you?" Hayner asked, looking at me as if I had just declared I was going to have a baby. "It's covered in spit." At Pence's hurt expression Hayner patted him on the back and gave a nervous grin. "No offense Pence."

Pence gave a happy nod and reached into the shoulder bag he was carrying, pulling out a bottle of water and handing it to me. "You can swill it of if you want, but you have to try it. You don't know what you're missing if you don't."

I took the bottle and gave the lolly a decent bath before I hesitantly stuck my tongue out and licked up the side ever so slowly, aware of the others that were staring at me. I finally reached the top and stuck my tongue back in my mouth, swilling the taste around my gob with my own spit and closing my eyes. It was weird. It was salty, but it was also sweet, not too much, but just enough and I subconsciously found myself going for another lick.

When I opened my eyes Pence was grinning and Hayner was looking extremely confused. "See, its good, right Rox?"

I nodded and stuck the whole popsicle in my mouth, happily swirling the blue treat around and over my tongue as the flavour exploded in my mouth.

"Hey Rox, stop hogging. Let me try." Hayner went to pull the treat from my gob, but I swatted his hand away and turned my back on them both, sucking on the sweet with a smile as I spoke out of the corner of my mouth.

"Get your own Hayner, this ones mine."

"That good?" Hayner mumbled, scratching his head and frowning. "Pence, you got any more of them lollies?"

"Nope, fresh out."

"Well…. Where did you get it from? What shop?"

"I dunno, my mom bought them for me. I'll ask her for you when I get home."

Hayner huffed and I turned around, grinning through the side of my mouth as he moaned. "Aw c'mon Rox, let me have just one bite."

"No."

"Please"

"I said no Hayner, you'll just have to wait till Pence brings some more in tomorrow."

"But I can't wait that long, just let me lick it."

"No Hayner, back of."

Hayner went to grab hold of me, but I moved away, my lace getting caught in the wheel of the trolley and sending us both spiralling down towards the ground in a huff. Stupid Cloud, I told him I needed to tie my laces. The impact of the fall forced the stick to the back of my throat and I began choking on the super sweet demon stick that was trying to kill me. Stupid Hayner, he's so impatient. My eyes began watering as I tried to heave up the stick, but it wouldn't move from my throat.

Hayner scrambled of me in a panic and I got up on my knees, placing my hands out in front of me to try and heave out the stupid stick. Pence came forward and stood in front of me, patting me on the back to try and unlodge the stick.

I didn't see the curtain open until the last minute when Both Kairi and Namine walked in, both of them confused and puzzled as they looked to me on the floor, my head at Pence's crotch level while Pence patted me on the back and Hayner stood to a side horrified. What a pretty picture that must have been.

"What the…?" Kairi asked, her hands full of books while Namine looked on, completely baffled.

Hayner looked back to both of us, rubbed his head, and then stepped forward with a blush. "Ya see, Roxas wouldn't let me lick his lollypop, so I kind of pushed him and he ended up choking on Pence's salty treats stick. And now he's choking because Pence can't get the stick out of his throat."

Oh Hayner, you poor simple baboon.

A particularly hard pat from Pence had the stick soaring from my throat and it flew a few feet, coming to land at the giggling girls feet as they held their sides in hysterics, a confused Hayner staring at them both as if they were mad. "Jesus Christ Hayner!" I choked, getting up and coughing. "You make it sound like we're gay lovers."

"What?" Hayner asked, looking at me as if I had just declared to have seen a hippopotamus with wings. "How the hell did it sound like that?"

I shook my head as the bell rang out loud and clear around us, the sound echoing for miles. "Never mind Hayner. Let's get going before we're late. God alone knows the teachers hate us enough as it is." I laughed, slinging my arms around Hayner's shoulder as we walked out of our secret den. Yep I definitely missed these mad bastards. But still, there's a lesson to be learned here.

School memo #1 – Sea salt ice cream is so delicious it's deadly. Beware the stick.

Please do not worry, this is an akuroku fic. I don't want to give away any of the plot so you will just have to wait and see ;). If people like this I will continue it, but if not then I probably won't bother because I've got my other stories to be working on. Please let me know if you enjoyed so I can carry this on, thank you.

At the end of each chapter (If I carry this on) there will be a memo by Roxas on what he has learned. Axel will appear next chapter and more lessons will be learned. This will take place over the time frame of a school term. Thank you for reading

p.s. sorry about Roxas' potty mouth