Caught in the Middle
By Zackeh
You said that love was just a state of mind
A puzzle made of pieces you can't find
And for me you never really had the time
I was blind, oh-oh
And everything that you meant to me
Is written in the pages of my history
But it's over now as far as I can see
Suddenly…
"Hey Sammy"
Hazel eyes raised to meet hers, a look in them that clearly said 'don't call me that' before he returned to the paper he'd been working on, shifting only slightly to let her sit down on the bed beside him. She peered over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowing as she caught sight of weird shaped symbols haphazardly scribbled in the margins. Her boyfriend turned his head only a fraction before he snatched the paper off the table and stuffed it into one of his law books before he stalked out the room with a determined look on his face. She looked at him for a second longer before deciding not to push the subject - if he wanted to draw weird ass devil worshipping symbols then who was she to stop him? Smoothing down the short skirt she wore, she spied a Polaroid peeking out from under a sheet of paper. She picked it up curiously and looked closely at it. It was of a teenage Sam she guessed, but he was with a boy. As in, really with a boy. The other male had his arm wrapped round Sam's waist and her boyfriend was smiling wider than she'd ever seen him as what she assumed to be his boyfriend kissed his cheek. Flipping it over, she blinked at the words 'Dean and Sammy, Oct '01' Dean? Wasn't he Sam's brother?
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
(And now I'm caught) And now
Caught in the middle
Sam stood outside the main door to the apartment building, hands braced on his thighs as he tried not to reacquaint himself with his breakfast. It had been almost a year and a half and still surviving January 24th never got easier as time went on. He missed him so much and it was killing him. That was the one thing he hated about going away to college - he missed his brother. Today was his 24th birthday and his Sammy wasn't there to celebrate it with him. Birthdays were never a hugely celebrated thing in the Winchester household since mom died; you'd have been lucky to get a pat on the back from dad but no matter what, Dean always tried to make his birthday enjoyable and vice versa. He knew he should be back in there with Jess, celebrating her birthday like a good boyfriend but he couldn't. Today was Dean's day and it always had been. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help but hate Jess for that. He understood it was a petty thought but he'd been raised by Dean and, basically, he was his world. Stuffing his hand in his pocket, he searched for the only picture of his brother he'd brought only to realise it was missing. With wide eyes, he looked up at the window of their bedroom to meet Jess' angry gaze.
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
(And now I'm caught) And now
Caught in the middle
Drumming his fingers on the wheel of the Impala, dean glanced sideways at his father who was sat in the passenger seat (Sammy's seat, his brain screamed at him) pouring over maps (Sammy's job) and grumbling obscenities under his breath. He closed his eyes briefly before turning back to face the road, slight damp, mossy green eyes hidden behind his sunglasses as he tried not to think about his missing brother. Well maybe missing wasn't the right word, Dean knew where he was - even down to his apartment number he lived in. He also knew all about the blonde his brother was dating now, Jess was it? Sure, Sam hadn't mentioned her the few times they'd spoken on the phone but he'd seen them together enough to know they weren't just friends. He blinked slightly as he heard his fathers annoyed snap of 'Dean!' in his ear, startling him enough to almost cause him to drive clear off the road. Rolling his eyes, John Winchester let a deep throated sigh pass his lips, "Right here son". Dean squinted to make out the sign they were passing when his eyes widened, unable to hide the grin playing at his lips, "Dad, you do know where that…" he trailed off seeing his father nod. So, without a second thought he turned down the slip road leading to Paolo Alto.
Moving on she brings me brighter days
Thoughts of you are in my mind always
Like a memory that I can't erase
It's here to stay, Wow...
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
(And now I'm caught) And now
Caught in the middle
Jess clutched the photo in her hand, unbelieving that her boyfriend, her Sam would ever be that close to another boy let alone his brother. That was just so wrong on so many levels. He'd never spoken much about his brother and when he did, it was usually always praise and now she knew why. He was in love with his brother. Not with her. Which brought her to her next thought. All the times she'd told Sam she loved him he'd only just smiled at her and nodded. He'd never once told her he loved her too. Not once! It used to make her so mad, then she just chalked it up to him not being ready but now…well this put things in a whole new prospective. Standing by the window, she looked down at Sam and for once - she saw the real him. The broken little boy who wanted his brother more than anything. How could she have not noticed this before. The way his eyes lit up when he saw things that she supposed reminded him of home, mostly when old rock songs came on the radio - songs she'd never heard of had him singing along at the top of his lungs and grinning to himself. The various band t-shirts he had folded neatly at the bottom of his drawer that looked too small to be his. It all made sense now. Walking over to Sam's calendar, he'd put his foot down at having one between them and looked at it. Yes, there's was Dean's birthday under today - but not hers. Not even in a corner, instead it just said Dean in bold black lettering. As she stared, her fist crumpled the picture and her heart broke.
Even though I'm with someone new
All I can think about is you
(And now I'm caught) And now
I'm caught in the middle
His shoes had become the most interesting thing on campus he found, ever since he'd seen the devastated look in her eyes. This was, without a doubt, the end of this relationship. How could you date someone who loved his brother? She couldn't turn a blind eye to the incest, that wasn't Jess. No, she'd push and push until he snapped and admitted everything. He'd turned and was reaching for the door when he heard it. The distinct roar that made his insides rattle against his ribcage and caused his heart to speed up. He turned about, moving til he stood on the kerb feeling much like when he did when he'd meet his dad and Dean outside the motel from hunts, not knowing whether or not either one of them were hurt. Only this time, he wasn't sure whether he'd get smacked by his dad or yelled at for Dean. After all, he hadn't seen them in a year. When the Impala came into view round the corner, a wide grin appeared on his lips no matter how much he tried to hide it. He half heard Jess walking out the apartment building til she stood beside him, obviously wondering what had the stoic, broody Sam Winchester smiling like a loon. It felt like an age before the car stopped and his family got out. John was the first in front of Sam and, after shaking Jessica's hand and ignoring the way her forced smile didn't hide the sinister look in her eyes, he pulled his youngest son into a tight embrace.
So different
It's so different
So easy
Oh, so easy
But I can't get over you
And I can't get over you
So different
It's so different
So easy
Oh, so easy
But I can't get over you
And I can't get over you
No babe
Watching his dad all but leap out the car to meet Sam had Dean smiling but it was only when he was there, standing in front of his brother did it evolve into a full blown grin. Somewhere in the middle, Sam and Dean met each other, two brothers clinging to each other. Sam's hands were fisted in the back of Dean's leather jacket as Dean's arms tightened round his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Dean rolled his lips into his mouth as he tried not to just bury his face in Sam's shoulder and cry and, by the way Sam was shaking, he'd given up trying to hold anything back. Carding his fingers through his baby brothers soft brown hair, Dean closed his eyes tightly as he held the boy, feeling Sam's sobs wrack through their bodies. Pulling back slightly, Dean raised a hand to wipe away his brothers tears with his thumb gently as he offered a half smile, "Now, now Sammy; no chick flick moments", he commented, resulting in a watery laugh escaping Sam's lips before the younger boy bent slightly to press his lips against Dean's. Two sets of gasps echoed behind them and the Winchester boys new it wasn't from their father as Sam spun round, eyes wide in horror as he met the equally as horrified stares of Mr and Mrs Moore.
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
(And now I'm caught) And now
Caught in the middle
Even though I'm with someone new
All I can think about is you
(And now I'm caught) And now
I'm caught in the middle
To say Jess had been surprised when her parents has appeared beside her would have been an understatement. No, she was positively horrified. But watching Sam and Dean together was…breathtaking. She didn't see two brothers at all - no, she saw were two men in love and it was…beautiful. Not at all disgusting like she'd previously thought and the fact Sam couldn't stop smiling didn't help. Then her parents gasped as they kissed and, of course, killed the moment. Thank you very much mom and dad. Now Sam just looked ready to throw up. Jess rested her hand on her mother's arm and threw the boys an unreadable look before leading her distraught parents away. They probably thought catching her daughters boyfriend kissing a guy was bad but if they found out who Dean was, they'd both have cardiac arrests. She led her blustering mother back up to the apartment and led her to the sofa before her father exploded, "Did, did you know Samuel was having an affair with that man!?" he roared, causing Jessica to sigh and pick up the crumbled Polaroid by her feet. She thought over her answer carefully before speaking.
"It's Sam, father; and actually, I think I was the one he was having the affair with…"
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
(And now I'm caught) And now
Caught in the middle
Even though I'm with someone new
All I can think about is you
(And now I'm caught) And now
I'm caught in the middle
John cleared his throat in an attempt to get the attention of his still shocked sons, "Can we get this show on the road please?" he asked offhandedly causing Sam's jaw to drop, "So what? It's Dean's birthday so you reunite the brother's for five frickin' minutes before whisking him away again? I don't think so!" he growled, eyes narrowing at the older man as he held fast onto his Dean. The building door opened again, and Sam was all ready to spew apologies when Jess held out the duffle bag, "I'm going to assume you knew this would happen. Considering everything you own was already packed in here?" she asked, voice shaking slightly as she refused to look at Sam. The youngest Winchester sighed and took the duffle which held his personal items that couldn't be replaced and his weapons, "I'm sorry Jess but, this isn't me. I thought I could sit in class 4 hours a day, live in the same place nearly 4 years then become some hotshot lawyer but, truth is; this is me Jess - I'm a drifter and I always have been. I'm sorry", he whispered, looking at her with sad 'ohmygodyoujustkickedmypuppy' eyes. She nodded, "Just, take care of yourself Sam", she replied before turning about and walking away and out of Sam's life forever he supposed. He turned back to face a shocked Dean and John before he shrugged, "Shall we go?" he asked, although it was rhetorical seeing as he was already climbing in the backseat of the car behind the drivers seat where his brother sat.
It wasn't surprising when John fell asleep not long into the drive, with the drama they'd been through today Sam couldn't blame him. Raising his eyes from the book on demons he'd opened in his lap, his eyes met Deans; a slow smile tugging at his lips as he rested a hand on Dean's shoulder.
Now matter how much he tried to force himself into believing else wise - sitting in the back of the Impala with a book on demons?
This was home.
Things are so different, now you're gone
I thought it'd be easy, I was wrong
And now
Caught in the middle
Even though I'm with someone new
All I can think about is you
And now
I'm caught in the middle
--
Song: 'Caught in the Middle' by A1