I wrote this on a whim. As somepeople know, I'm on holiday to meet my girlfriends's parents. I can't swim. The father does not like me and he's taking me fishing. As you can see, I am rather worried about my life.... so I've decided that if I was to loose my life, maybe I should be getting this idea off my head fist.

It's as all my work is UNbeta-ed.
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"Lost"
~Nappa

Hermione did not like how Ginny's "non-stripper" party before the wedding had turned into. First she had had been given the smallest of the smallest lingerie in the world. Though she had frown on all the erotic presents, she could not help but think, that they would be appreciated by Harry. So she was really happy about that.

Then Ginny announced that they could not get a stripper because Hermione did not want one. This caused the girls that had come to throw boxes of tissues at her. Tissues that Hermione had to conjure up when the muggle movie started. Hermione thought it was a brilliant performance by Lissanne, the actress. She made all the complex emotions come alive on screen.

Hermione was a hopeless romantic in her heart. After all her love life was a cliché if there was one. She loved the Cliché. How could she not? She was getting married to her best friend of nine years. Growing up through the toughest life has to offer, and surviving it. It was a harsh road, filled with good memories and the ugly ones. Then when the war was over, her best friend came to realise his love for her.

Hermione honestly thought it was a joke on his part. He had never shown an interest in her like that, but she realised, war makes you rethink things. Makes you realise what is important in you life. Well, that's what she after she said yes. The day was etched her mind very clearly.

------ Flashback -------
Hermione was waiting at the train station for the veterans to get off. She watched as one by one get out, and be greeted very enthusiastically. Friends and family rushing and crushing the poor soldier to death.

The one she enjoyed the most was one of Neville Longbottom. On of Harry's comrades in war. He was no longer the chubby little boy he was in his 1st year. Years in the war had seen him harden loose a bit of his innocence. Only a bit.

The moment he got off, Pansy, his longtime girlfriend had slapped him. His grandmother was trying to strangle him, for not writing to them.

Hermione had helped in the war, but in the dueling department. She was good in magic, but she was hopeless at dueling. She did come up with a part counter curse to the killing curse. It worked well, but sometimes it would leave the person casting dazed and confused. Researching was her forte and she did to help the cause.

When the last of the veteran dropped off, Hermione remembered feeling a blind panic. But ceased, when a finger tapped her shoulder. She knew who it was. The smell of him was something that she could seek out if she had to in garbage dump... err... getting side tracked.

The first thing her did, when she had turned around, was to kiss her on the mouth. She remembered feeling shock, but that was she found herself kissing him back. He kneeled in front of her and said, " I've lost every one to Voldemort. I did not want to fight in the war. I did because you are the most precious thing in my life. If you were gone, then I would have no one to love. I know, I've never said I love you before, but in my heart, I knew I did. It took me time to realise, why I was fighting. so Will you marry me, Hermione Granger?"

As Harry said this, all the people around her just vanished. It was a shock, but she was even more surprised by herself, when she said yes. That had been one and a half years ago.
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Knock Knock

" Hermione! There's someone at the door. Can you get it? We're busy." Yelled Ginny.

Hermione grumbled something about having to answer the door at her own party, but she went to the door none the less. It was better than hanging around the girls. They had one too many drinks while enjoying the movie.

" Hello..." she said before he face dropped.

It was a police officer.

" What happened? Is Harry al right? Did something happen at his party? Is is about the over due library book?" Hermione rushed out in a single second.

The police officer pushed part her and into the house. He used his sonorous voice to ask, " Who is Ms. Granger?"

" It's me." Hermione squeaked out.

" Miss, I'm afraid, I have to take you downtown. There's a little matter you have to sort out."

" What? Is it Harry? Is he alright?" she said weakly.

He cuffed her, " I'm afraid I can't tell you until you are downtown, mam." He then pushed her on the lazy boy. Hermione yelped and the girls that had been watching with interest, started to giggle. Hermione realised why in a few seconds as someone put on some very sensual music.

The police man moved his body like there was no bone inside him. Hermione decided that who ever made her party like this, was going to die. Despite that, Hermione decided to go along with it, just so her friends would be happy.

Taking his time, he removed pieces of his clothes to the rhythm of the music. Each thrown into the crowd of women behind him, to get a loud cheering noise. Then the time came for the guy to take off his pants. When he did that, Hermione blurted out something that she did not want to in hindsight.

" Did you loose some of it?"

The music came to crashing stop. The Stripper stopped moving. Hermione looked up at him and saw the guy on the brink of tear. Before she could offer him a medical magic advice on the matter, the guy took off running, never having been insulted like that.

The girls in the room looked at her like she must have been crazy. " What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

" What did you say to him?"

" Oh that... I asked if he had lost a bit of his... thing. Why?" She was still unaware what had made the guy leave.

There was a gasp from the girls in the room, followed by a very envious glare from everyone in the room. Even Angelina looked at her in that way, and she was getting married a few weeks after Harry.
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ze EnD.
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Guys: No matter what girls tell you size matters. It matters a lot. The smaller "it" is the better. Yes! You heard me right! The smaller it is the better................. wait did you people think I was talking about.....? You did?....

No no no no.

I was talking about egos.