A/N: Delayed by two months approx. I decided to pull it up and finish it sicne I was bored as hell with almost nothing to do. XD This was meant to be a co-written thing with Lizzakysn, however sadly, she had a camping trip and only came back today, and I have been /somewhat/ progressing with the oneshot without her. But still she cowritten the beginning part. :)
Oh...bad words will be censored and replaced in this story. We all know what happens when you throw a heat-tantrum...
OH.
This was done for a challenge on Shine, and I completed the last one of the color set. XD WHEE!
Disclaimer: Dun own, Unbeta'd.
-
-
-
Summer is just 'round the corner, and boy, is it hot… Yes. As I type to you, I am breaking the fourth wall—the wall can mend itself—but as I type, I am enjoying the beauty of man-made air conditioner—
A beautiful contraption, yes it is.
However, I am not here to share with you the splendor of that thing, because I have another story to share with you. And that is the story of a Hitachiin…and a Fujioka.
It was hot, insanely blazing, during a day in Japan. It forced people to bolt their door shut and frost their entire house with the advance and god-given air con. Everyone who did not have AC jumped into pools, and everyone who does not have a pool dived into a three-feet deep inflatable contraption—
Of course, there was a stupid Hitachiin who refused to see a rubber boat as a pool. And to add to his misfortune, his air conditioner was jammed and broken, leaving him in the damn heat to die and sweat like a log. He was in a very grouchy mood indeed, his head was soaked with sweat, and he just wanted a breeze to blow over him.
And did it come?
No.
It did not come.
Because it hated him.
But I'm not here to talk about how hateful mother nature can be to a rich bastard—
Therefore, Hikaru was left to look for refuge from the high temperature, and was currently wandering around a commoner park that he had somehow, in a heat-induced daze, ended up in. He kicked at the grass impatiently, his eye twitching, and the slightly pissed twin shot his hands into the air— "FUDGE THE WORLD!!"
…maybe not 'slightly' pissed…
And where the hell was his mirror image? Probably at some…pool or something…a nice cold pool…hell, Hikaru had no clue where Kaoru was for once. You know what? SCREW HIS BROTHER FOR LEAVING HIM IN THIS FUDGING HEAT!
His golden eyes scanned the area murderously, and he scared the little children. As he was walking around the grassy park, practically dying in heat, he came across…
…omfg…
Spsh, spsh, spsh
Was this a genius contraption that man had invented?!
If so, why didn't he see it?!
My god, it was water that sprayed into the air!!
WATER?!
Hikaru's eyes spun and he smiled brightly, despite his tantrum. In an instant he plopped down underneath one of these contraptions and sat.
…and just sat.
Dear God, it had to be the most refreshing thing he had ever experienced! In a dramatic clichéd sports-movie slow-mo fashion, he opened his mouth and tilted his head up, and relished the nice, cold, drops of water being rained down upon him.
He was so overjoyed he could have cried right then and there if it hadn't been for the cluster of little kids slowly gathering around him, thinking that he was some kind of maniac that escaped a mental institute.
WHAM
"FUDGING BIRD OF SHIT!" he cried in horror, his eyes widening wide. He threw a poisonous glare at the kid who had shoved his foot into his side. He barked madly at the boy, "WHAT THE FUDGE IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
"MOMMY!!"
Hikaru grabbed a conveniently located rock and prepared to chuck it at him…
…if the stupid kid's mom hadn't stepped in and slapped Hikaru for 'tormenting her child'. As they walked away, the kid turned around and made a face at him.
Hikaru motioned that he was going to throw the rock at the kid, which got him to abruptly stop and take a step closer to his mom. "That's right, you little shit head, turn to your mommy!" he called after the kid, earning a glare from the mom.
After a while of uncharacteristically swearing, Hikaru collapsed onto his back and enjoyed the cool summer water upon his head. '...damn that fudging shit.' But then the thought floated away as a rare wind blew at his drenched face.
That…felt…
AMAZING!
Omigod, did anyone try sitting underneath this thing? It was like heaven. It was tingling his senses that he just wanted to jump up and smack all the crud heads for being alive— but that wasn't the point.
Hikaru vaguely wondered why he didn't have some sort of electric hand fan like you get at Disney Land.
After all, he was rich; he could easily buy a 200 yen hand fan...
The very same electronic contraption of this…water dispenser was so magnificent he could just rip it out from the icky grass and install it in his room!
HE WAS GENIUS!
FUDGE THE AIRCON! He can have the water work substitute the shitty, good for nothing, broken thingy-ma bob. Another thought fluttered into his mind and he wondered why the hell someone would install such a device on mud and grass—
That was a waste of a genius and beautiful device!
Just as he was preparing to lazily crawl towards the thingy, grab it, and run like a madman back to his home, he spied a familiar brunette giving him an odd, 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing' look.
"Ah! Hiya, Haruhi!" he chirped, breaking out into a large bedazzeling smile that reflected the sun's rays. He waved his arm heavily in the air, throwing wet mud and grass particles around him. She only twitched and tried to walk away slowly.
What if he had rabies or something?
"Wanna join me? It's refreshing, you know!" Hikaru continued, patting the patch of goop and mud next to him invitingly. She stared at the mud and then at Hikaru…and then at the mud that just squished underneath his fingers.
"Uh, Hikaru…" Haruhi began unsurely, glancing around the park at the number of people staring at the odd boy sitting under the sprinkler like it was a gift from God. She twitched again, staring at him weirdly.
"Yup?" he replied, patting the patch again, splattering mud towards Haruhi. She stepped out of the way of the flying mud and gave the crowd another unsure glance.
"…Why the hell are you here of all places?" she inquired, hoping that he'd catch the hint and go home.
His eyes turned murderously dark, and purple energy (that he had stolen from Kyouya earlier) swarmed up around him, forcing Haruhi to take a hesitant step back.
"'Cus the freaking air con broke, the damn baldy chef refused to let me into the kitchen to get ice— I have absolutely no where to cool off. Kaoru ditched me!" He gasped suddenly. "OH HOW DARE HE!! HE DITCHED ME, HARUHI! THE NERVE! THE NERVVVEEE—"
Suddenly flowers spun and Hikaru smiled.
"And then I see this machine shooting water out, so I thought I would sit here for a while and contemplate about how life's been treating me until I cool off!" His teeth sparkled. "Genius, no?"
"…No," she replied, then went on to ask; "Couldn't you just have taken a cold bath?"
Unfortunately, her question seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, for the boy had turned back to enjoying the cold water. She sweat dropped and twitched suddenly when he shot a look at her. "Eh, Haruhi…do you think I can pull it out from the ground and stick it in my room?"
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. The stupidity of her friend just attracted too much attention. Taking a huff, Haruhi stomped over to where he was seated and grabbed his arm.
"Come on, we're going back to your house."
And…she instantly regretted doing so, for her hand got covered with the ickiness of mud and dirt.
"…Eh? Why?!" he cried—obviously, he had grown some sort of attachment to the oh so very loved sprinkler. "I love it here! NO! DUN TAKE ME AWAY!"
He was acting so very much like a damn kid…
"Hikaru, you need to wash up or else you're going to get your clothes ruined—"
He pulled his arm out from her grasp, and whined. "But it's so hot!"
She sighed, and jerked him up from the ground. "You can take a cold bath! Okay?! I'm sure you'll be happy with that!"
And Hikaru's hazel eyes stared emptily up at her, like it was the most awesome idea anyone could suggest—
"Okay!"
-
-
-
When she stepped foot into the Hitachiin household, she immediately felt the hell fire that Hikaru had experienced. It was a tense and stuffed atmosphere and no one…absolutely no one was in the house. Hell, even the maids and butlers escaped the heat and ditched the household just because of the boiling summer heat.
She wiped the small sweat that was starting to accumulate on her brow. Haruhi automatically began to ask, "What happened to the air—"
"Broken," Hikaru grunted, marching into the main room, trailing mud and other assortments into his house. Haruhi only stared flabbergasted at the mess he was making. I mean, wouldn't anyone feel miffed or surprised that they'd trail mud into their house?
…well I would, but I'll just shut up and keep going with the story.
Haruhi followed slowly after, following the path of dirt, grass, and water into the living room. She looked around the area, quite amazed that such a house was this big…yet the mere simple contraption of an air conditioner…was…broken.
"Hikaru, do you have a change of clothes—" Her eyes immediately widened, and she jumped back in surprise. "The hell—"
A semi-naked Hikaru slapped the mud-soaked shirt onto a chair and tossed a confused glance at his commoner friend. He picked up a pair of clothes from a basket of unfolded laundry and threw it randomly onto one of the arms of a sofa. Blinking, he tilted his head slightly in question. "What?"
"…don't you have a bathroom…?" she asked incredulously, eyes twitching.
"…durh, what do you think? We have potty holes or something?"
An irritated vein made its home on Haruhi's head and she frowned. "I mean…you don't normally start peeling off your clothes in the living room…" Haruhi paused, and added as an afterthought, "…do you?"
He grabbed a random towel from a stack of folded and washed cloth. The light-brown haired teen ruffled his wet hair with the towel, while walking around with his pants almost sagging past his hips.
"Always."
…
"What?"
Haruhi twitched, as he stared at the small puddle of mud and water forming on the carpet underneath him. Hikaru's gaze landed on his black pants and yanked at it slightly. "It's…wet—"
She immediately grabbed his change of pants and threw it at his head. With a rough shove, she pushed him out of the living room, while screaming, "Change somewhere else! Are you forgetting that I'm a girl?"
Hikaru stopped by the door, holding the frame to stop himself from being pushed out. A sly grin came onto his face, and he sneakily said, "Eh? Why? Don't you want to see my sexy body—"
"HELL NO," she yelled, as her face blazed red. She kicked him out into the halls. "Clean yourself from mud, Hikaru! You're just treading dirt everywhere!"
The Hitachiin pouted and he slowly trudged up the stairs, leaving slightly muddied prints on the carpet. "Fine, fine, Haruhi…jeez, I was just kidding."
-
-
-
"Haruhi," a voice sang boringly, snagging her attention from the book she was reading. Suddenly something flew over her, crushing her to the table. "I'm bored!'"
"Get off me!" Haruhi grumbled, flinging the boy off from her shoulders. She sighed, while giving a look—which she instantly regretted since he was freaking topless. "Uhm…Hikaru, what happened to your…shirt?"
"…it got muddied when I stepped on it," he countered, while sliding into a seat next to his friend. Hikaru sighed and crumpled on the table. "It's so hot…I can't take it anymore…I need something cool…"
There was a long silence.
The brunette rolled her eyes, and watched as Hikaru stood up from the kitchen table and wandered close to the fridge. "What're you going to do now? Stick your head in there?"
He only shrugged and grumbled, "What else can I do?"
As she watched the Hitachiin open the freezer and stick his head in, she couldn't help but notice…that small peculiar blotch near his side. Was it some kind of powder? It looked oddly whiter than his skin. Haruhi blinked and stared.
…
What the fudge is that?!
She stood up and walked towards him—who really didn't seem to be noticing anything since his head was being frozen over. Her hand wandered to the towel that was carelessly left behind and readied the towel in her hand—
"You have a spot on your back."
"…No, I don't."
Swipe—
He jerked, banging his head into the fridge door. "GAH!"
Haruhi paid no mind. Her eyes were set determinedly on the white blotch on his pale skin. "Maybe you didn't clean yourself well enough…" she murmured, before rubbing at it intensely; her ears deaf to the yells of protest.
"I did! –kekeke- S-Stop that!" he half-laughed, biting down his lip. After a struggle, Hikaru pushed her away, holding his side protectively. He gave her a mild glare, and exclaimed, "What the hell, Haruhi?!"
She only stared at him with a nonchalant face, the towel still held high in her hands. "There's a spot on your back."
"I don't have any!" he rebutted, eyes blazing with denial. Haruhi lowered the towel and gave him a lecturing glance.
"…it looks as though…you slapped on…some of your mom's make-up—"
"I'd never do that!"
"But then what's with that thing on your back?" she tsked, pointing to the area where he was covering. Hikaru blinked slowly before twisting to look at it—
"Where—?"
She lurched at him, hand aiming to attempt to wipe it off. And Hikaru didn't see it coming, especially with the dreaded towel's roughness rubbing against his back.
"GAH!"
Wump.
He fell faced down onto the floor, his body pressed underneath the weight of a neat freak who was scrubbing away, frustrated, at the spot. And Hikaru shook madly, laughter being muffled by the nice cool tiles.
"N-No! WAIT—HAHAHA— Haru—eeee!" Bangs were heard, and he was twisting frantically, threatening to throw her off. Yet Haruhi kept firm on his back, scrubbing away the spot of…cream?
"It won't come off!" she grumbled, grabbing his left shoulder to hold him still. "Hikaru, what the hell did you put—AH!"
And she, being thrown off him, fell onto the floor, the hand with the towel pinned securely above her head. Hikaru was kneeling next to her, his hazel eyes glaring right at her; he shook his head at her—
"You're annoying…very," He nodded breathlessly. He released her hand from his hold, and tiredly watched her sit up, the curious stare never left him. She jabbed a finger at the now red burning spot on his skin.
"…that spot still won't come off," she pondered, standing up from the ground. She fingered the dry towel. "I'll wet this—"
Hikaru twitched, before grabbing her wrist. "No!" And he trapped her against the table, his arm blocking her from going anywhere near the faucet. "It's…not something I just randomly slapped on, okay?"
Haruhi, not affected by the close proximity between them, looked up at him curiously. "How would you know?"
"Because I didn't slap it on!" he snapped back simply. She rolled her eyes in response, but took a warning step back when he was practically touching her. "And that thing—" Hikaru grabbed the towel and threw it onto the ground. "—freaking hurts and it tickles!"
"I didn't mean it to hurt. The white thing wouldn't come off—"
"Well, just leave it on!"
Haruhi became silent, before opening her mouth,"…it was weird," she lamely quipped, feeling sweat collect on her forehead. The brunette tried to push the half-naked boy off her, her stare was aimed to the side. "Get off…"
Hikaru slowly blinked, the heat was already killing off most of common sense brain cells. He narrowed his hazel eyes at her, the mere request taking a long time to process. "…what?"
She tried to break out from his trap, but her friend didn't give her leeway. Her face was flushed from the heat, and she was giving him a light glare. "Hikaru, move." His head lowered slightly until his forehead brushed against her shoulder. "…What?"
"It's so fucking hot," was the last words that slipped through his lips before he fell limp against her. A sweat drop fell down her face, "Hey!"
"Ah."
She froze.
"Hikaru molesting even when unconscious? Amazing."
Haruhi blinked as she saw the other Hitachiin walk into the kitchen with a plastic bag swinging from his hand. She asked, "Uh…Kaoru…"
He grabbed Hikaru's arm, and pulled his heat-induced twin off of the commoners. "Yes?"
"What's with that spot?" the brunette asked, pointing to the white splotch on Hikaru's side.
He jabbed a finger at his side. "You mean this—"
"GAH!"
Fwump.
"…"
"…"
"…On a side note, I got ice cream for us!"
"…that really helps, Kaoru…it really does…"
-
-
-
A/N: ...no comment except it's in a way that makes me laugh. XD hahaha...
JOIN SHINE AND BE ACTIVE. Lately, we've been dying. Gaaah. No death! No death! Just come and visit and if you like it, join, and hopefully post a lot. -end shameless plug-
--Demi-kun.