A/N: Hi everyone! I decided to write this immediately following the Glee Season 6 premiere. I took it pretty hard, despite the many months warning. I never expected the break-up flashback to be so intense. I know that Kurt really messed up by breaking things off with Blaine, but I feel like we didn't really get to see Kurt right after the break-up. We never got to see how he felt, or how he coped like we did for Blaine. So, I've written a quick one-shot to show my take on things. I hope you all enjoy it (Or cry a little. Because I think that's the equivalent of getting something from this.) :)
Kurt stepped through the door of his apartment after a dragging day of work. His apartment. It was still weird calling it that. It seemed like just yesterday he was complaining that the loft had too many people in its space.
He threw his jacket onto the coatrack and padded into the kitchen, looking for something to fill his stomach. The pink, half-eaten box from the bakery down the street was still sitting on the counter. Kurt hadn't found the time to throw it away. It hadn't been boughten recently, by the looks of it. Scowling, Kurt picked up the box full of stale, molding...
Cronuts.
Kurt stopped walking, staring at the rotten pastries through the clear covering of the package. Just seeing them brought back so many memories. He could still remember the time he watched Blaine Anderson take on his first cronut. It had been love at first bite. The younger boy had been addicted to them ever since.
Kurt smiled at the memory. Despite being broken up, Blaine could always make a grin appear on his face. The box must have been left over from when Blaine moved out. Sighing, he pitched it into the trashcan and walked back toward the refrigerator.
Ever since Kurt and Blaine were left with the loft all to themselves, things hadn't been going so great. They seemed to make an argument out of anything; whether it be wedding planning, or something as simple as toothpaste left on a towel. Kurt was worried. He was terrified that if he didn't confront Blaine about their constant bickering, something would happen. Something like then breaking up.
One night, Blaine was late to dinner. Despite his reasoning being about wedding planning, Kurt had had enough. He snapped. Just as he had feared he would.
"Why am I always the first one to arrive?"
"Uh, did you not hear what I just said? They're available for the wedding on labor day!"
Kurt was tired of Blaine's constant excuses. He felt as if he had no say when it came to the wedding. They were supposed to be doing everything together, but Blaine constantly planed things without him. Regardless, he felt that his fiancé should be on time for at least one dinner. Not wanting to argue anymore, Kurt tried changing the subject.
"Let's just order. I'm starving."
The look on the younger boy's face made it clear that he had just stepped in it.
"I don't wanna fight about it, but I feel like the whole wedding planning thing... It's just falling on me," Blaine admitted. Kurt looked up from his menu, shocked about what he had just heard.
Blaine saw it. He saw Kurt snap. He quickly tried fixing it.
"What's the matter?" He sighed, seeming desperate for an honest answer. "Tell me. A-Are you having second thoughts?"
"Have you noticed how exhausting it's been ever since you moved back in?" Blaine's face fell as the older boy continued to speak.
"The other day, we got into a three hour fight because I used a towel to wipe off my mouth while there was still toothpaste on my face!"
"Well how is someone else supposed to use it when you leave it like that?" Blaine argued back.
Kurt took a deep breath. "Living together is supposed to be a trial run, and I've gotta tell you that I think we are failing it!"
"Thank you for finally saying something truthful!" Blaine spat. "Where's that guy been, huh? Where have you been? You've been completely aloof and totally remote, and distant! It's like I don't even know you anymore! I feel like you're just... silently judging me."
This made Kurt roll his eyes. After the long, heartfelt discussion the two had months ago, Blaine still felt judged by his own fiancé?
"I mean, what do you even want anymore?" Blaine continued. "Do you even want this wedding? Do you even want to marry me?"
That did it. Kurt broke. How could he possibly say something so offensive?
"Maybe I don't!"
Blaine looked at Kurt as if he'd just stabbed him in the heart. In fact, that's exactly what he'd just done.
Kurt immediately knew he had made a mistake as he saw the boy's heart break before his very eyes. How was he supposed to fix this?
"What changed?" Blaine croaked, trying to hold the tears filling up in his eyes. "Was it something that I did? Because... Beca-... You know that I... I love you, and I love you so much and I know that we can make this work."
"I love you too," Kurt explained, "But we're kids!"
Blaine's face fell even more, and Kurt panicked to say the right thing.
"Look... We had a great run..."
Shit. That didn't come out right.
"But... Let's just call it quits before we completely hate each other."
Oh no.
Did he just break-up with him?
That's not what he meant.
No.
All he could do was sit there paralyzed as his newly made ex-fiancé bursted into tears. That was it. He had ruined it.
Blaine took a deep, shaky breath as he stood up to leave. "I will never forgive you for this."
Kurt had ruined the-
No. He shook his head, looking out his kitchen window at the city below him. He was not going to let a break-up ruin his life. Kurt walked out of the kitchen. He wasn't hungry anymore.
He needed to get the nasty taste out of his mouth. Whenever he thought of Blaine, his stomach turned and he felt the vile need to throw-up. He rushed into the bathroom, grabbing a toothbrush out of the holder. He dabbed a drop of toothpaste on the bristles and began brushing his teeth with the green-colored brush.
Green?
Kurt's toothbrush was blue.
He took Blaine's toothbrush out of his mouth, staring at it. How had he never noticed it there before? Had he gotten that used to having two brushes in the holder that he had simply never noticed?
He quickly rinsed out his mouth with a glass of water and threw the toothbrush away. He took a clean towel from the rack and brought it to his mouth.
"How is someone else supposed to use it when you leave it like that?"
He immediately threw it down and ran into his bedroom. He needed to get his mind off of Blaine. He needed something; anything.
Looking around his room, he spotted a red t-shirt, stuffed into the corner of the room. Knowing that he would never throw his cherished clothes onto the dirty floor, Kurt moved closer to investigate. As he picked up the shirt, he instantly recognized it as Blaine's.
It was the shirt that Blaine had wanted to wear to his NYADA audition, but didn't because Kurt had told him not to wear anything "too primary." Blaine must have left it at the loft, along with his toothbrush.
Kurt couldn't take it anymore. Everything in his life reminded him of Blaine. He glared at the shirt, frustrated, and threw it at his bed post.
Even staring at his bed made him remember the countless mornings that he woke up with Blaine's arms around him, or by being served breakfast in bed by him. The endless love-making nights where they had been much too loud for living an apartment with roommates. The occasional pillow fight. The occasional tickle fight. It was all there, replaying in his mind every time he looked at that bed. Every night that he crawled under the covers. Alone.
Kurt flopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He slowly reached up, grabbing the bright red shirt and bringing it to his nose. He inhaled the scent he hadn't smelt in months. The smell of the love he lost. Of the love he ruined.
It was finally all sinking in. He had been pretending for months that none of it mattered. That it was just a meaningless, highschool romance that he'd look back on in a few years and laugh about. But he knew in that very moment that it would never happen like that. Blaine wasn't just a highschool romance. He was his soulmate. And he would never get him back.
"I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me." He whispered to himself. Tears filled his eyes as he finally admitted it to himself.
"He's really gone."