I am bored, and they say you get your best ideas when you're bored, so yeah. Was this really necessary? Maybe, but that commerical was too funny when I first saw it, and never gets old. Hardly. So this was totally necessary. WARNING: NSTORM WRITING INCORPORATED IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY FITS OF LAUGHTER YOU MAY HAVE DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND THAT THIS IS A CRACK FIC SO CONSIDER YOURSElF WARNED AND SERVED.
Sora was your above average keyblade wielder, and ordinary friend you would hang out with on weekends, and holidays and all throughout May. No matter how wrong he was, he was still very, very, very fun to hang out with. One day, Sora's life changed forever when he had his first Frank's Red Hotz tablespoon. A little tablespoon on his meatloaf which everyone knew that Kairi made for him.
Upon that very first taste, his tasebuds exploded like a timebomb and his eyes became wide in flavor. He was in heaven-hot sauce heaven to be exact. Sure, he liked hot sauce but this-this was anything but above average.
"Dang, that's some strong stuff!" exclaimed Sora looking at his meatloaf which was sprinkled in a tablespoon of the sauce." Man, I should have put this sh&t on this sooner!"
Grabbing the hot sauce bottle, and grinning like a true champion, Sora applies the hot sauce to his liking quenching his hot sauce thrist. From the amount he applied, it was certain that he should have put that sh&t on that sooner. Little did he know, that he was going to put that sh&t on everything. Litterally, everything.
It was game day, and it was Sora's turn to prepare the game day feast. Except he did not know how to cook anything that did not go in the microwave. The last time he cooked was the last time Kairi wore a flower dress which was of course a disappointment as she loved that dress more than anything. Nearing the final hours, Sora hatches up a full proof plan that did not involve him going to the bathroom or calling Kairi for help.
"Well, I put it on one thing already and that turned out good, so I guess this might work again," said Sora while scratching his head looking at the small, hot sauce bottle in his hand."Better late than never."
Sora walked over to the cabinet in his kitchen which was filled to the brim with Frank's Red Hot Sauce, and began to take them out one by one. Phase one in his hot sauce cooking scheme was underway...
Later that day, the group-Kairi, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Mickey, Axel/Lea/whateverhisnameis and Cloud were watching the game while eating Sora's food that actually turned out good for once. This was something that never happened, and before Riku's team could even score the silverhaired man turned to Sora, who sat next to Kairi on his couch.
"Hey, Sora, I gotta ask you something," said Riku slowly, causing the blond, brunette to look up at him in fear and excitement." Everything here-even the Kool Aid-is absolutely scrumptious, and I only use this word for Kairi since she's like the best cook out of all of us, but I have to ask. How in the world did you do it?"
Sora, grinning like a crazy man, scratched the back of his head with his left hand, and grabbed an empty bottle of Frank's Red Hotz Sauce with his other.
"Well, I just used Frank's Red Hotz Sauce," chuckled Sora, a hidden gloat in his voice." I put this sh&t on everything!"
Suddenly, the whole atmosphere of the room changed. Donald coughed on his hotdog which was swallowed whole, and Goofy nearly dropped his Kool Aid on the couch which would leave horrible, hard to remove stains on the carpet. Mickey's food almost went out his nose which caused Axel/Lea/whateverhisnameis to grimace in disgust. Kairi turned a bright shade of scarlet and Riku suddenly became so engulfed in laughter that he almost crused the large, rectangular coffee table filled to the brim with the numerous food Sora had made. Sora, however, was unaffected as he quickly joined in with Riku while watching the game.
Namine ran to Sora screaming that she needed some extra helpin her bake sale she was doing for the community of Twilight Town, that really needed more money for their schools. She was very desparate as Sora is the last person she would go to in situations like this. Kairi was busy doing her gardening, and Riku told her that Sora and his 'little friend' would be able to help, so of course she ran to him. He happily obliged to help her, assuring her he could get it down in less than a day. Despite being ver skeptical about his response, she thanked him for his hard work giving him a tiny peck on the cheek as a reward for helping.
"Time to break out the sauce!" exclaimed Sora walking to the cabinet filled to the brim with the hot sauce. He stopped, and took in the situation and his life up to this moment." Man, I am really starting to put this sh&t on everything."
Two weeks later, Sora and his batch outselled any other batch made for the bake sale-even Maleficent's which earned a very discontent reaction from the Disney Villian. The women were gathered around Namine, eating some of Sora's cookies.
"My, my Namine I didn't know you were friends with such a great cook," gasped one of the ladies causing Namine to blush deeply.
"Well, you know how it is ladies," replied Namine both blushing and at a loss for words." It's just Sora being Sora and pulling off another one of his miracles."
"Oh, I wouldn't say miracle," countered another of the ladies." I would call it a gift! Never before have I had something so-so rich in flavor and packing an extra punch in taste!"
"It's almost as good as my old husband!" squealed another lady causing an uproar of middle-age laughter to ensure.
"My, my Namine, you must tell us what is his secret?" asked another lady nearly shoving Namine when she moved in her personal space.
"Ladies, ladies," said Sora walking in the middle of the group with the moves like jagger." It's not a well-kept secret but it's a secret all right. I just use Frank's Red Hotz Sauce. I put that sh$t on everything!"
Immediately, the ladies choked on their swallowed food causing Namine to chuckle in response.
"I put that sh&t on everything!" shouted Sora at a stand up night club causing a roar of laughter to erupt in the club." I mean that sh&t don't compare to the other sh%t that I used to use! You know?"
And that's a wrap. Please, please don't flame me because I know that sh%t didn't make any sense, but I hope you found some humor in that. But to be honest, I don't put that sh#t on everything because I don't use that sh%t.