Live A Little, Laugh A Little
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Mind, got that?
Summary: While relaxing after a case in New York, the girls prank the men by making them jealous but when the prank escalates into a fight with some random men what will happen?
A/N: I had decided to post these funny one-shots about humor together. It should be four or five one-shots, so enjoy.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.
"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me." Mitch Hedberg
Emily tried to find a comfy spot as she settled between Hotch and JJ but found it uncomfortable as she felt an elbow in the ribs.
"Son of a bitch," Emily murmured as she rubbed her side and looked over at Hotch "Do you mind?"
Hotch smirked, "Nope, I don't mind."
Emily rolled her eyes then noticed JJ digging her finger nails into her arms, "What?"
"Look." JJ whispered to the brunette.
Emily leaned over and seen Dave whispering to Morgan who was laughing.
"So?" Emily whispered to the blonde, "Big deal, they're talking. So what?"
"I heard him whisper to Morgan about us riding in the cars together," JJ said lightly, "You with Hotch, me with Dave."
"So?" Emily asked then asked, "Well what about Morgan and Reid?"
"They're taking a separate SUV," JJ explained, "But the reason this is a big deal, is because Dave is supposed to talk Hotch up to you. And Hotch is supposedly supposed to talk Dave up to me."
"And what the hell is this suppose to accomplish?" Emily asked frowning, "They're what, trying to get us to work the other over about each other to set one another on a date? That doesn't make any sense."
"Well that's men for you..." JJ said.
Emily looked over at Hotch intently watching the baseball game and seeing how the runners was on third, she looked up and seen not much time was left in the game.
She leaned in and whispered to JJ, who nodded and both women poked the men next to them.
Hotch looked over at her, "What?"
"Can you go get some snacks?" Emily asked in her best pleading voice, "Please Hotch?"
Hotch sighed, seeing Dave look over at him, with a nod, "Fine. What do you want?"
"Soda with ice, and a pretzel." Emily smiled brightly at him.
"I'll have the same, Dave with extra salt." JJ said flashing her pearly whites.
"Be right back." Hotch said passing by Emily who resisted the urge to pinch him.
Emily looked back at JJ who nodded, seeing Morgan too focused on the game to pay them attention.
JJ leaned in whispering over to Emily, who nodded while a grin grew across her face.
Hotch walked back up the steps with Dave, and looked over to see Emily and JJ talking to a group of men behind them, all laughing.
Hotch turned back to Dave with a raised eyebrow, "Take a look at that."
"Mm hmm," Dave replied not at all pleased, "So now what?"
Hotch looked from the group of men, to the two women in question.
"We make it clear they are unavailable." Hotch whispered as they made their way down the aisle.
"Here you go," Dave said, "Soda and pretzel, extra salt."
JJ took the pretzel and resumed her conversation with the men.
"Thanks, Hotch" Emily said smiling at him then turning to the man behind her, "Want a piece, Bobby?"
"Thanks, Em." Bobby said smiling back.
Hotch leaned back munching on his popcorn when he saw Dave look over at him and nod.
"So," Hotch said to Emily, "Who's your favorite player?"
"On the Yankees?" Emily said turning around to Hotch who nodded "Old favorite was definitely Joe DiMaggio. Now... I don't know, I hardly have the time to follow baseball."
"Em?" JJ called out, "Who was that guy you dated who was obsessed with the Knicks?"
"That's basketball," Dave said chuckling lightly to JJ, while Hotch eyed Emily who had a smirk on her face.
"Oh," JJ said, "Well I'm more of a soccer girl, myself. What was his name?"
"Joey." Emily said, "Sweet and good looking guy. But not much up in the brains department."
Hotch chuckled at that, while JJ added, "But he was good right?"
Emily smirked, "Oh yeah. Three things he was good at, watching sports, food and that."
JJ laughed. "Yeah I had a couple of guys like that. Scott was a wannabe football player and Harrison, he was addicted to gambling. Any kind of bet, any time."
"Wow," Emily said looking over at her, "Were they at least cute?"
JJ tilted her head, "Scott definitely was. But Harrison, he had away of growing on you."
"Like mold?" Emily asked and heard both men laugh.
Emily felt a tap on her shoulder, "Oh hey, Bobby."
Bobby smiled at her, "Why don't you two pretty girls come sit up here with us?"
JJ looked over, "That's sweet but we're here with..."
"Who, these two sticks in the mud?" Bobby's friend asked.
"Come on sweetheart," Bobby said reaching for the brunette, "Sit up here with us."
Emily smiled, "That's sweet but we'll just stay right here."
Hotch felt relief wash through him until he felt a piece of popcorn hit his shoulder and he turned around.
Dave looked over and winced when a peanut hit his ear, "Watch it."
Dave turned to give the three men a glare.
"Do you guys mind? We're trying to watch the game." Dave said in an authoritative tone.
"Why?" Bobby's friend said, "What are you going to do about it?"
"Excuse me?" Hotch said.
"Not talking to you." Bobby told him.
"Well you are now," Hotch glared at Bobby, "What the hell is your problem?"
"Why are you bogarting the babes?" Bobby's friend asked "How about sharing the ladies?"
"No," Hotch said angrily, "And for your information women do not appreciate being called babes."
Bobby and his friends laughed, "Sure thing loser." Bobby said chucking popcorn at Hotch and Dave.
Morgan's head turned when he felt a piece of paper hit him, "Watch it man."
Emily turned her head to Bobby, "Knock it off."
"No, not until you and blondie sit up here with us." Bobby said with a quirk eyebrow.
Rolling her eyes, "Seriously?" Emily asked "This is why you're being obnoxious?"
"It's not obnoxious if we're cute." Bobby said tossing his popcorn on Hotch's shoulders.
"Cut it out, man." Morgan ordered.
"Why?" Bobby asked "What are you going to do?"
Morgan looked over at Hotch and Dave, and the three men pulled out their FBI badges.
"FBI" Hotch said, "And I think I should inform you that these two women you've been harassing are also Federal Agents."
Bobby looked over at his friends and laughed, "Ooh, FBI." Bobby leaned forward, "Well I don't think hitting on two gorgeous girls constitutes harassment. And I should know."
"Harassed many women?" JJ dryly quipped, "Why am I not surprised?"
Bobby bent over laughing as he pulled out his wallet, "Nope. It would be bad for an Assistant District Attorney to harass women."
Dave raised an eyebrow, "Who'd be stupid enough to appoint him as an A.D.A?"
Bobby's friends kept chucking popcorn on the two men, "What are you going to do about it? Hmm? Nothing, just as I thought. Ladies, your fellas here are nothing but cowards. Now how about sitting up here with some real men?"
Hotch, Dave and Morgan dropped their food and looked over to the three laughing men behind them.
Hotch stood up, "Lets take this outside."
Bobby stood up, "Gladly," Turning to Emily he smirked, "After I kick your guy's ass how about we grab a drink?"
Morgan and Dave followed the men out while Emily turned to JJ, "Oh my god they're actually going to brawl."
"Well what are we waiting for?" JJ said grabbing Emily and making their way down the aisle.
Emily and JJ rushed outside the gate, looking for the men.
"Hotch" Emily said running up to him, "You don't have to do this."
Hotch pulled off his suit jacket tossing it to Emily, then undid his tie handing it over.
"I haven't picked a fight since senior year of high school, but I kicked Rick Taylor's ass and I'll kick this Bobby guy's ass too." Hotch said.
Dave looked over to see one of Bobby's friends eyeing him and then JJ looking at Dave.
"You're really going to let this happen?" JJ asked.
"Freddie and that football player looking guy can referee, Grandpa over here and Jimmy can sit this round out." Bobby said, "Ready?"
Hotch rushed forward and punched Bobby in the face, knocking him down to the ground.
The younger man shook his head and looked back up at Hotch with a smirk on his face, laughing.
"Good." Bobby said, getting up wiping the blood from his nose, "Bring your "a" game."
Bobby rushed forward, sucker punching Hotch in the ribs and the two men wrestled on the grass.
Scrapping as the two men punched and hit each other moving back and forth.
Hotch got up and grabbed the younger man up with him while the bystanders moved back away from the action.
"Come on, old man" Bobby said lunging forward and knocking Hotch down.
Bobby rammed Hotch onto the ground punching him in the stomach and face, slugging him in the face with his fists.
Hotch grunted as he felt his back hit the ground, rolling over he got up and kicked the younger man in the gut as he reached down ignoring the shouts of the men grabbing Bobby.
Reaching down he pulled the man up, grabbing the collar of his shirt, "Look at me. I'm the one that did this to you."
Hotch punched him again, and felt Emily touch his hand shaking her head, "Hotch."
Pulling away from the man on the ground, Hotch stepped away whispering, "You just got lucky."
Hotch pulled Emily's hand into his and looked at his friends, "Lets go."
Emily and JJ sat in the back of the SUV, Emily and Hotch's eyes meeting every few minutes in the rear view mirror.
A look shared, as a small smile gracing Hotch's face when he saw Emily's cheeks blush.
JJ poked the brunette to get her attention focused off of Hotch and on to herself.
"Em?" JJ whispered, "Why?"
"Hmm?" Emily said turning her attention to the blonde.
"Why did you stop him?" JJ asked.
Emily looked over to see the three men in deep discussion she leaned towards JJ, with a small smile on her face.
"I think Hotch got his point across" Emily said, "You know as well as I do, that challenging an Alpha Male's pride would have sparked rivalry. But I couldn't just stand by any longer, even though he was doing it to defend our honor, it just felt wrong."
JJ frowned, "But Bobby and his friends started it...
Emily sighed, "I know, I know, JJ. But I couldn't stand to see Hotch like that. Besides we didn't need to finish our little prank of jealousy by mentioning all the old boyfriends, thanks to that Bobby idiot we got a jump start."
JJ tapped her chin, "You know I'm thinking I recognize him, but I can't remember from where."
"Who Bobby?" Emily asked frowning, she looked down when her cell phone beeped, tapping the screen she held up the text message from Garcia.
'No need to thank me. No one ever does. BTW Bobby said that Hotch punches like he's Jean-Claude Van Damme in Blood Sport. Not sure if that's a good thing for Bobby but he's alive.'
"Oh my God" JJ murmured, "Garcia hired those guys?"
Emily looked over at the stunned blonde, "You're surprised?"
JJ looked up to see Dave look back at her, while Hotch who was in the passenger seat looked back as well.
"What are you two talking about back there?" Morgan asked teasingly.
"Nothing." Both women said in unison as they looked back at the cell phone with a smirk.
"Remind me to buy Garcia something glittery for her desk." Emily whispered to JJ.
Boris Pasternak, "Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us."
Tune In Next Time...
So did you all guess who the guys that Emily and JJ were referring to?
See the review button, he wanted to know if you wanted to be a pal and leave a review?