The Irresponsible One

*.*.*.*.*

Maybe Merlin was an idiot after all, he thought. Arthur was always calling him one—only teasingly, of course, he never actually meant it—and God, maybe he actually was one. There was no other way to explain it, no one but an idiot would be at the mall on Christmas Eve. Not that he was there by choice, of course, but out of necessity. A necessity born out of his own idiocy, granted, but a necessity all the same. Which wouldn't have been a necessity if he wasn't, well, at least the smallest bit of the idiot that Arthur teased him to be. There really was no other explanation for why he would possibly forget…

Alright, so he was an idiot, he could live with that secret knowledge, Arthur didn't have to know he agreed with him, there wasn't any good reason in the world that Arthur needed to know about any of this, wasn't any good reason to tell him or let him find out. Merlin could be a secret idiot; that was fine. And if he could somehow fix this little… oversight before the day was over and Arthur never found out about it, he could quickly and easily do away with his new self-appointed title and Arthur would be none the wiser.

But God, that meant he still needed to get through the mall in one piece, meant that he needed to survive the crowds and the cranky, shovey people who lacked both respect and boundaries. And Merlin didn't know if that was entirely possible, if the way he just had an elbow shoved into his chest was anything to go by. God, people who were out shopping on Christmas Eve were brutal, he thought, rubbing his chest and glaring at the back of the head of the woman who had just done it. If it wasn't Arthur he was shopping for, he would have been back home already, would have said fuck it and bought whoever he'd forgotten to buy for an online gift card or something.

Or something.

He would have figured something out that did not involve going out on this unholiest of days, if it had been anyone else he needed to shop for.

Arthur was just lucky that Merlin loved him enough to brave the mall to get him something.

But then, if Arthur were truly lucky, Merlin wouldn't have forgotten to buy him a gift in the first place. God, Merlin was going to be kicking himself over that for the rest of the year, if not longer, because how could he have forgotten to buy the love of his life a Christmas gift? Merlin was an awful, terrible boyfriend, and that was all there was to it.

But Arthur didn't need to know that either, didn't need to find out about that and wise up enough to break up with him or, worse yet, hold it over Merlin's head for years to come. That was all Merlin needed, for Arthur to tease him about it, bring it up every birthday and holiday and anniversary for the rest of their lives. If Arthur ever found out about this, Merlin's life was as good as over and that was really all there was to it.

So what difference did it make if he just died here at the mall first? Arthur wouldn't dare say anything about Merlin's forgetfulness at his funeral, of all times and places.

Or, actually, when Merlin thought about it for a moment…

But, ah, that was the wrong thing to be thinking about just then, he realized with a violent shake of his head. The mall was closing in three hours and Merlin still didn't know what that hell he was going to get Arthur. So that. That was what he needed to be thinking about. That was all he needed to think about until the moment he was back home.

*.*.*.*.*

Or until he died. Because as the seconds ticked by and the crowds grew more frantic and ruder, Merlin knew, without a doubt, that he was going to meet his demise in that mall. Especially since he didn't have a damn clue about what to get Arthur. He had considered and dismissed getting him a new watch or tie or cologne or jeans or food of some sort or a shaving set and a number of other typical and totally impersonal gifts, and still had nothing. He had been pushed and shoved and bumped into and God, he was tired and just wanted to go home; why did Arthur have to be so God damn difficult to shop for? And why had Merlin forgotten to do this sooner? How had he forgotten to do this sooner? He'd meant to shop for Arthur sooner, had meant to get him the best gift ever but, ah, December had just… gotten away from him, he supposed. It had gotten away from him and now it was Christmas Eve and the mall was closing in a half hour and he had nothing but a few bruises and a new found distaste for people to show for it.

But he couldn't wrap that and put it under the tree for Arthur, so neither of those mattered right now.

As he made his umpteenth circle through the mall, passing shop after shop after crowd after douche bag, he considered all the places he'd been in already, all the shelves he'd perused, all the cashier's he'd made awkward eye contact with, all the strangers he now hated, and tried to remember which ones he'd skipped, which ones were only worth going into now that he was running out of time. But Arthur was a grown man and there were simply some stores that would have nothing that he would enjoy. His only real options were to revisit all the shops he'd already been to and pray something would catch his eye this time around…

Or the jewelry shop. He hadn't been into the jewelry shop just yet and he could always pop in there, maybe get Arthur a bracelet or ring of some sort, because God knew that man loved his rings…

And maybe, while he was in there, he could take a look at engagement rings—just for a moment, while he was there and all.

Mind made up, he made his way towards the shop in question, flashed the exasperated looking man at the counter a polite smile as he walked by him and whoever he was helping—some blond bloke who was probably shopping for something last second for his girlfriend or whoever as well, clearly in the same boat as Merlin was. If only that blond bloke had been his blond bloke and then the stress would have instantly melted away. Merlin couldn't be in too much trouble for forgetting to buy Arthur a present if Arthur had forgotten to buy Merlin something as well.

God, if only.

But Merlin wasn't that lucky; of course Arthur would prove to be the responsible, non-forgetful one this year. God, why couldn't Arthur just be a little more irresponsible? That would have made for an absolutely perfect Christmas Eve.

But, unfortunately, Arthur was perfect and responsible and he had probably gotten Merlin the most perfect gift ever, because that was just how the universe worked.

He tried not to scowl as he approached the counter and let his eyes scour over the rings—the engagement rings. He had gone in there with the intent on getting Arthur something a little more casual, but, well, the longer he considered the rings, and the more he thought about it, he decided what better gift than a proposal? He loved Arthur with his entire being and then some, and he wanted to marry Arthur anyway, was fairly sure that Arthur wanted to marry him as well—might as well. Sure, there was no real planning here, he was going in completely blind, but God, that was fine; he worked fairly well under pressure anyway, he was sure he'd be able to come up with something to say, when the moment came.

Really, all he needed to do was pick a ring and get out of that damned mall. Arthur didn't know how lucky he was to have Merlin, really.

It was easier to pick a ring than he'd thought it was going to be; in less than ten minutes, he knew exactly which one he wanted to buy Arthur. He almost could have been a bit pissed off, actually, deciding so quickly on a ring when he'd been in that damned mall for hours and hadn't been able to settle on anything at all. But then, ah, there was the proposal to consider, the fact that he was actually going to propose to Arthur for his Christmas present. Whatever Arthur had bought for Merlin was in no way going to measure up to this, he knew, and that thought made his sudden surging of nerves very much worth it.

And of course, Arthur wouldn't need to know that this had all been planned completely last second. Merlin would absolutely take that one small detail to his grave with him.

He walked around the counter looking for that man he'd seen when he first came in, wondering at the lack of employees in the store before he remembered the day and the hour; he was lucky it was even still open, that there was anyone still there at all.

But when he finally caught sight of the man in question, he was still helping that blond bloke, the counter strewn with rows of rings, his head bent down in concentration and the man helping him looking on exasperated. Merlin glanced down at his watch, bit his bottom lip. Fifteen minutes. The mall and all the shops closed in fifteen minutes and if this damn bloke didn't pick his ring soon, Merlin wouldn't be able to buy his, or anything else either, and he would be spectacularly fucked.

He crossed his arms and impatiently started shifting from foot to foot, watched the time slowly tick away, seconds eating into the precious few minutes that he had to buy the God damn ring.

Finally, just when Merlin was about to shove the man aside and steal the employee for two minutes since he knew exactly what he wanted already, the man's head shot up, relief written in the employee's eyes as it did, and the man spoke for what could have been the first time since Merlin had entered the shop, as much attention as he'd been paying while considering rings through the glass counter.

"Can I see that first thing you showed me again? I think that actually might've been what I'm looking for after all."

The employee nodded and excused himself quickly, but Merlin hardly paid him any mind, because that voice—and that head, that hair, that posture, even—God, why hadn't Merlin realized sooner!

"Arthur?!" Merlin exclaimed suddenly, arms dropping to his sides in surprise.

The blond bloke turned around all too quickly, and Arthur's shocked face was staring at Merlin within the instant. Well fuck.

"Merlin! What are you—"

"What am I? What are you—"

"I asked you first—"

"I don't care," Merlin interrupted, shaking his head, still unbelieving that that blond bloke actually was his blond bloke.

And he was in a jewelry shop. On Christmas Eve. Looking at rings. Same as Merlin.

He narrowed his eyes suddenly, leveled Arthur with a suspicious look that he found mirrored the look on Arthur's face perfectly, and he knew, they were there for the exact same reason, and Arthur was no more perfect or responsible than Merlin was that year. He could have let out a sigh of relief, but they were still only just standing there, staring at each other. He considered his options for a moment, he could have confronted Arthur about why he was there, asked question after question, poked and pried and gotten Arthur to admit to just why he was there, get him to confess to his forgetfulness...

And if he did that, Arthur would definitely return the favor. God, he would happily return the favor; could Merlin really have that?

God no.

He shifted awkwardly for a moment, and nodded to himself slowly, licked his lips before he gave Arthur every ounce of his attention once again.

"Right then," he began, clearing his throat. "I will... let you get back to whatever you were doing, and... see you at home tonight?" he tried.

Arthur's eyes widened in surprise, and Merlin could tell he was considering just as Merlin had done, thinking oh so carefully about his options as well. If he decided to go the route Merlin hadn't, Merlin would be all too happy to return the favor—especially after offering him that out.

Thankfully, however, Arthur nodded in turn and quickly closed the distance to press a quick kiss to Merlin's lips, the silent agreement sealed as he did.

"See you tonight," Arthur agreed, turning back around just as the employee returned to the counter. And it took every ounce of Merlin's willpower to take a few steps away and not look at just what Arthur was buying, but, somehow, he managed it.

Arthur was gone within moments, passing by Merlin without another look back, his strides quick and purposeful as he attempted to get out of that damned place as quickly as he could. For a moment, Merlin was envious of his departure, but, ah, he had his own ring to buy, and all envy was quickly wiped from him as he rushed to get his own purchase taken care of before he was locked in.

*.*.*.*.*

Later that evening, changed into pajamas and curled up on the couch, Merlin had his ring for Arthur tucked away nearby, head spinning and body aching. He hadn't given too much thought as to what he would say or how the night was going to go, since all the surprise was taken out of the moment and gesture now. He had thought it would be best to wait for Arthur to get home before he thought too much about it—because they did need to talk about it, did need to figure out how this was all going to go, but God, Arthur had left the shop first, he should have been home already.

He was starting to grow worried as the hour grew later, and had almost been tempted to jump off the couch and go out searching for him, until he heard the lock click open, saw Arthur's stupid, perfect face come in with snow in his perfect blond hair, cheeks rosy and coat dusted with the promise of their white Christmas. He was sure his face was the perfect picture of relief as he smiled at Arthur, watched him shed his coat and boots, shake the snow from his hair before he made his way over to Merlin on the couch.

Without a word, Arthur sat himself down just next to him, and leaned in for a quick kiss hello before he settled himself in just opposite Merlin, a small smile on his face as he considered Merlin for a moment.

"Where've you been?" Merlin asked finally, unable to keep himself from wondering on it a moment longer.

"Out, I... had some things to take care of, or... un-take care of, more like," he clucked his tongue, amused with himself, and far too vague for Merlin's taste. "You haven't just been waiting around for me all night, have you?" he asked before Merlin could press him on his vagueness.

"Well, I was worried. And I figured we needed to talk about, uhm... Earlier. At the shop. With the, uhm, rings."

"Yeah, that's... that's what I was off doing," Arthur nodded, reaching into his pocket for the box he'd walked out of the shop with. In response, Merlin grabbed for his own box as well, sat it in his lap.

"I was wondering," Arthur began again then, slowly this time, fingers tapping absently, nervously, on the lid of his box. "how long... have you been planning to—?" he nodded at the box in Merlin's lap.

A confused frown took over Merlin's face, how long had he been planning? Oh. No. What? No.

"Planning?"

"Yeah, you... have been planning this, yeah?" Arthur asked, licking his lips as he leveled Merlin with a confused look of his own. "I've been thinking about it for months, and I had everything else in order, I just... wanted to get the ring last; as nosy as you are—no offense, love—I didn't want to have the ring just laying about for you to find to ruin the surprise. But then you were at the shop—and you would be, wouldn't you? God, I'd tried so hard to plan a perfect evening for us, of course you would be at that shop tonight, I shouldn't have waited..." he insisted to himself, shaking his head as he looked down to the box he had been nervously playing with.

And the more he spoke, the guiltier Merlin felt. God, he had really fucked up this year, hadn't he? First, he hadn't gotten Arthur any gift at all, and then he had completely ruined something Arthur had been planning for months. Without knowing that was what he was doing, of course, but, well, it was all the same, wasn't it? He'd still been smug, happy even, that he'd run into Arthur in that shop, had been relieved in knowing that he wasn't the only forgetful one, and here Arthur had been planning this night for months, the complete opposite of forgetful.

If Merlin wasn't the biggest ass in the universe...

"Arthur," Merlin sighed, fingers reaching out to nudge Arthur's face up to look at him, hardly able to stand the defeated, dejected look he found just there. "I... have to tell you, I... didn't plan this, I completely forgot to get you anything and I just... thought a proposal would be a nice, last minute, uhm... gesture? I... thought when I saw you there that you'd forgotten too, but you didn't, and of the two of us, you're definitely the more responsible one this year, I can admit that, and... Is there any chance you still even want to propose to me? Knowing that I completely mucked everything up and ruined your proposal plans? I can't say I'd blame you if—"

Arthur interrupted him with a bout of laughter as he opened his ring box without a word, relief and happiness spreading across his face slowly as could be as he did. And if that look wasn't more than worth having to admit what an irresponsible fuck up Merlin was, then nothing ever would be.

"God, of course I still want to propose to you, I just," he looked up to Merlin as he took the ring in his fingers, turned it over absently with a smile on his face. "I had a whole plan, you know. We were going to go for a walk and there was going to be this candle-lit dinner and I hired a violinist to play that song you've always loved and are humming while we ate dessert and I proposed, and I had a speech and it's snowing and... it was supposed to be this... huge, romantic proposal, it... was going to be perfect, but, uhm..." Arthur shook his head and reached his free hand out to cup the side of Merlin's face with an endeared look on his face. "This is still perfect. Just because it's you I'm proposing to. And you already know what I want to ask so... will you marry me?" he asked, hand sliding from Merlin's face to his hand to slide the ring onto his finger without waiting for an answer—the answer he already knew Merlin was going to give him as soon as his mind stopped reeling and his heart stopped racing.

God, that did sound perfect, Merlin thought. And well thought out and planned and romantic and... And Merlin had ruined it but Arthur still, somehow, wanted to marry him anyway.

"I will. Uhm," Merlin swallowed and reached down to the box in his own lap, opened it with shaking hands to extract the ring in much the same manner Arthur had. "I... didn't have anything planned, as you already know," he shot Arthur a teasing smile that the blond returned, eyes shining with unshed tears and bliss. A catch in his own throat made Merlin pause and swallow before he could continue on, "but... I still love you with everything that I have and more and... I have always thought you were the most infuriating, perfect prat to ever exist and that it would be unfair of you to exist if you weren't dating me, but God, you were, and... I thought you were lucky to have me, but the truth is... the truth is I'm lucky to have you. And it would be even more unfair than I could ever describe for you to exist if you don't agree to marry me, so... will you marry me?" he finished hopefully, vision mostly blurred by his tears as he slipped his ring onto Arthur's finger as well, an answer not needed in the least.

But it was still all too welcome when Arthur said, "Yes."

And God, it was such a simple response, one little word, but it meant the universe and then some to Merlin all the same.

Before Merlin could even think to reach for a kiss, Arthur beat him to it once again, leaning forward on the couch and wiping at Merlin's eyes in the second before his lips were soft and full on Merlin's. And he had to think then that, maybe, being the irresponsible one wouldn't be such a terrible thing after all.

*.*.*.*.*