TIME HAS RUN OUT
One-shot I came up with when I was at home alone all day and my Internet connection was down. If you're as obsessed with CA as I am, then this may make you cry. I made myself depressed just writing it. So, sorry
Angua has finally left Carrot. This is the letter she left behind trying to explain why.
DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to PTerry. But if he ever does this to them I will hunt him down.
"Dear Carrot
I've gone. This time it will be for good. Please, don't try and come after me… Not this time. Because if you do then I know I'll give in, like I have before, and this will happen again and again. I would have told you to your face, but honestly? I couldn't. I know you'd talk me out of it somehow. You always do.
I'm sorry. We both knew that this had to happen someday; maybe it would have been easier on us if I'd been strong enough to leave years ago. I never meant to hurt you, and believe me when I say it hurts me too. I don't want to leave, but I have to for both our sakes.
It's just too hard to stay here now. Every day is a fight. You know how hard it is for me to live here, in the city I mean. It's too intense, too much pressure. Every month it gets harder to stay in control; it could only be a matter of time before something happened, and then I'd either have to run or I'd be executed. Not even you could change that, and I know you wouldn't try. You promised, remember? I've not forgotten. It's best I go now, before things got that far.
I don't know where I'm going. I wanted to ask you to come with me, I really did, but I promised myself long ago that I would never make you choose between the Watch and me. I can't do that to you because I know that whichever choice you made you'd always regret losing the other; so I made the decision for you.
There never could have been much of a future for us anyway, you know that. No matter how much I wanted… It doesn't really matter now, does it? Whatever might have happened, we're just too different. Inter-species relationships can't work.
Believe me when I say it's nothing you did or did not do. I love this life: you, the Watch, my friends; I have everything I could ever want. I just can't live in the human world any more. I've tried; I've held on longer than any other werewolf has managed. But even my control is only so strong, and I couldn't have stayed in Ankh-Morpork much longer without losing it. You've seen what can happen when one of us snaps; I didn't want to go through that, for both our sakes.
All I can say is that I'm sorry. Sorry I ever let things go this far; it just makes the pain worse. For a while I dared to let myself believe it could work; I was wrong, and now it's over. I never meant for this to happen. It's my fault, and I'm sorry.
I won't be back, I don't think. I don't know what will be come of me; maybe I'll end up like Wolfgang after all, it's quite possible. If that happens you'll not hear from me again; you won't be able to keep your promise, but someone else will do it for you. Maybe I'll be all right, once I'm away from the human world, on my own somewhere. I don't know. But I can't go home now, can't be a normal werewolf, and I can't live as a human. This really is the only choice. I don't want to give you false hope; safest to say I'll never be coming back. That way, you're free to get on with life, while I try and find out what's to become of me. I might write to you again some time, just to see how everyone's getting on, but I doubt it. It would only cause more pain.
In some ways, this is easier for you. I know it's been affecting you more and more; what people say, what I say come to that. You should never have had to deal with any of this. Again, I'm sorry.
But we proved them all wrong, didn't we? It's been four years now. Nobody thought we'd last this long… Not even me, if I'm honest. We've proved that we could do it. Even if it's fallen apart now, what we achieved has never been done before, and that is something to be proud of. I've never been happier... so I'm leaving now, before it's ruined.
I love you. I could never bring myself to say it, before, and that is the only thing I regret about all of this. I'll miss you more than I can say, but I think this is for the best. Our time has finally run out, but we made the best of what we had and it's been the best time of my life.
Tell Mr Vimes that I really enjoyed working in the Watch… And tell him I said to cut down on his cigars if he wants to see retirement! Tell Lady Sybil that she's been a good friend. And tell Gaspode the same; that furry little mutt was my first real friend. I'll miss them all… But not as much as I'll miss you.
I love you.
Delphine Angua von Uberwald"
Wow, I've really depressed myself now. Sad songs and depressing fanfics aren't a good combination, but when a plot bunny bites you just have to go with the flow. No, it's not very IC for Angua, but I think that if she didn't have to say it out loud she could get quite emotional - as long as nobody else saw it. Review and tell me what you think.
As far as Foreshadowing is concerned, I appear to have writer's block. I will do my best to update, but if I don't think it's good enough to upload then I won't upload it.
Frosteh