Just so you don't get upset, gerankel and I are best friends. She has said it is okay for me to write the story. I will try to get her to read and adjust the story. I'd prefer she wrote it anyway. She is the better writer!

Disclaimer: As I'm sure we all know by now, InuYasha and all other characters except those which my friend and I created, belong solely to Rumiko Takahashi. Hi'Iki, the Oracle priestess and any other OC belongs to my friend and I, mostly my friend Cynthia, aka gerankel, as well as this story concept. As fair warning this story will have various Japanese terms and phrases interspersed in it. I know many do not like this but in those cases where I used them I felt it necessary to the impact and flow of the story. I will provide a glossary for this story where needed. I dislike typing disclaimers for every part of a story that I post so consider this to be a blanket disclaimer for the whole of my story. Also, if you haven't seen the last chapters of the manga, SPOILERS!!

I am trying to improve my story, hopefully. It may take a while.

Flashbacks will be in italics.

"Damned If You Do......"

Chapter1 memories

Brushing the dirt off her hands, Rin surveyed her work. The early morning sun brightened the rainbow of colors in the garden. She was pleased with her work. There was not one invasive plant to be seen.

"Rin, where are, ah, there you are." Daira looked at the garden and smiled. Daira was a gentle deer like youkai who looked like everyone's favorite grandmother. She always wore shades of brown, had long brown hair wore up in a bun and large doe brown eyes. "It's beautiful." She looked Rin over. "You'd better clean up child. You want to look decent for Lord Sesshoumaru."

Rin had frowned at the mention of Lord Sesshoumaru. Their relationship had changed recently. She'd been living with Sesshoumaru for about six years now. She had been delighted with her new home and was happy for the next several years. Rin remembered the day Sesshoumaru came to get her vividly.

'Rin, I will not allow you to go with Sesshoumaru-sama unless there is a house to live in. I haven't taken care of you for the last four years to have you freeze to death following him around.' Kaede-sama was adamant about it.

'But, Sesshoumaru-sama said I could go with him if I wanted.'

'Well, I guess you're gonna stay here then,' InuYasha didn't have much faith in Sesshoumaru.

'Tells how much you know about your own brother!' The unmistakable whiny voice of Jaken the imp made them all turn around. Jaken and Sesshoumaru had arrived.

'Jaken, Rin, Ikaso.' Sesshoumaru didn't wait for them; he just started to walk away.

'But, Sesshoumaru-sama,' Rin said in small voice. ' Kaede-sama said I can go only if there is a house for me to live in.'

Sesshoumaru stopped and turned around.

Kaede stood her ground, looking at Sesshoumaru defiantly. 'She needs proper care and shelter to keep her safe and healthy.'

Rin looked at Sesshoumaru hopefully. Without looking at Rin, Sesshoumaru gave a slight nod, turned and continued to walk away.

Rin remembered the surprised looks on everyone's faces as she left with Sesshoumaru and Jaken. At the time, she couldn't understand why they'd be surprised. Lord Sesshoumaru always provided what was needed. Of course, no one knew about the castle at that time. Now that she was older, she understood why they were surprised. Sesshoumaru was a loner and a wanderer, so having a home didn't seem to be high on his list of priorities. The fact that he had a castle in the mountains with in a day's ride on Ah-Un from the village was even more surprising.

But the happiness had changed recently. Partly by her own fault. She had become rebellious. She often questioned orders. And sometimes disobeyed. Sesshoumaru had told her to stay with in the castle grounds after dark, but one time she had gone out to look for herbs and had been too busy to come back early enough. It was dark by the time she decided to go home. She didn't see the tree root and tripped over it and sprained her ankle. Sesshoumaru had to bring her back. Poor Jaken bore the brunt of that. Rin sighed. She went to her room and got her bath supplies and a clean kimono. She was wearing her "get dirty kimono", a dark peach color with a design of dark blue wavy lines. She then headed out to bath. At the end of the garden, she turned to look at the castle. The castle was at one corner of a little valley, up against sheer cliffs on the back and one side. The front faced the entrance to the valley. The other side, where the garden was, a field led to the forest which continued up the mountain. In the forest was a stream and hot spring. It was a beautiful sight. This was where Rin was headed. She made her way along the path, enjoying the bird songs, pretty flowers and warm sunshine. The path led through the field and forest to the spring. The spring was hidden from the path, blocked by a huge boulder.

Rin put her things down on a rock, undressed, putting her kimono on the rock as well. She slowly slipped into the steaming water, letting herself adjust to the temperature. Relaxing and enjoying the heat, her mind drifted back into the past.

'How did you manage to get this?' InuYasha demanded of Sesshoumaru.

Sango and Kagome had wanted to see how Rin was faring, so they'd gone to visit. And to let her know that Kaede-sama had passed away.

Kohaku had told them about the castle and they were curious.

Sesshoumaru was sitting on the porch overlooking the garden. Rin was proudly showing Kagome, Sango and Miroku her garden. InuYasha was standing a few feet away from the porch. His voice could be heard in the garden.

Sesshoumaru ignored InuYasha.

'What business is it of yours how Lord Sesshoumaru acquired this castle!?' Jaken always wanted to show off to InuYasha. InuYasha ignored him.

'You bastard, if you killed humans for this place…!'

'I do not need to explain anything to you,' Sesshoumaru said, turning to look at InuYasha.

Daira came out with a tray of tea. She set it down, glaring at InuYasha.

'Tea!' she called to the others. 'He didn't kill any humans, they were set free.' Daira paused as the others came up for tea. They were so used to the brothers verbal fighting that they completely ignored it. But the cause of the amazed look on InuYasha's face was one they wanted to hear about.

'The garden is amazing Rin. You've done a great job with it.' Kagome was impressed with the whole place. 'How did you come to this place?'

Kagome was a little more tactful than InuYasha.

Daira continued her explanation. 'There was a terrible youkai who ruled here many years ago. We were slaves. When Sesshoumaru-sama came, he was challenged by the youkai, and defeated him. Those of us, who wished, stayed.' She looked at everyone before she went on. 'Some were human slaves.'

'What happened to them?' Kagome asked.

'They were set free because Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't like humans,' Rin piped up.

Rin had to smile at that memory. For someone who claimed to hate humans, Sesshoumaru had a funny way of showing it. Rin thought about how Sesshoumaru had changed. It wasn't much, but it made a big difference. He was still the silent, distant youkai as before, but he had gotten more tolerant of humans. At least some humans. Rin knew Sesshoumaru would never be talkative, and not show his emotions much. But she knew he cared: not because of what he said, but what he did. He often did little things for Rin. One such time was the berry branch. They had been out on patrol and Rin had been hungry. She found a large bush with berries on it but couldn't reach the berries. The branch with the most berries on it suddenly broke and fell to the ground. Sesshoumaru had used his claws to break the branch, then waited patiently for Rin to eat before going on. Little things like that say more than words.

Rin sighed. There was one thing she did wish. That Sesshoumaru and InuYasha would get along. She doubted that would ever happen though. It seemed they couldn't be civil to each other no matter what. At least they weren't trying to kill each other. 'That's a step in the right direction anyway,' she thought.

Rin rubbed herself with soap, adding it to her hair. She spent several minutes working it into the thick ebony strands. As she scrubbed, she reflected on how things had changed between her and Sesshoumaru. Her own feelings for him had changed. She thought of the time that had changed their relationship forever. She had gone to the hot spring only to find Sesshoumaru already there. The memory made her blush. It was this encounter that made her realize just how much her feelings for Sesshoumaru had changed.

It was about a year ago when this encounter occurred. Rin had decided to take a bath on this particular day. Since the spring is blocked from view by the boulder, Rin was unaware that someone was already there. She heard some splashing as she walked around the boulder. Stopping to take a peak, she saw Sesshoumaru in the water. He ducked under the water to rinse himself off and stood up. The water droplets glistened on his body as he walked to the shallow end. Rin blushed at the sight of the nude youkai. His physique was breathtaking. The water droplets seemed to make every part of him stand out. Rin gasped at the same time that Sesshoumaru turned and saw her. They stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity. There was a look in his eyes that she had never seen before, a look of longing and hunger. She didn't understand the look or her own feelings and ran back to the castle. She was relieved when Sesshoumaru took off on one of his patrols without taking her.

Such a moment may have changed their relationship forever. Rin knew she had been rebellious and hard to get along with lately. It strained their relationship. 'Is that why Sesshoumaru-sama goes away sometimes and doesn't take me?' The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Rin sighed as she rinsed the soap out of her hair. She had always thought of Sesshoumaru as her guardian angel, quiet, distant, and dangerous, but still a guardian angel. He had never done anything to hurt her and was quick to rescue or defend her. Now she had different thoughts about Sesshoumaru. Thoughts that made her blush.

Rin had seen the interactions between Kagome and InuYasha, as well as Sango and Miroku, and heard some of the things they've said. Kaede had also taught her the basics on male/female relationships and families. She was able to make an educated guess about her feelings. She suspected she was in love with the inu youkai. 'How could you love someone who has no interest in you?' she thought. 'Sesshoumaru-sama isn't fond of humans, there's no way he'd ever love one.' This thought made her want to cry. 'Why did it have to change?' She sighed as she rinsed out her hair a second time to make sure all the soap was out. 'Maybe I should talk to Kagome.' Rin got out of the spring, grabbed her towel and dried off. She put on the clean kimono, gathered her bath things and made her way back. As she made her way back, she thought about Sesshoumaru. How he looked when he was engaged in a fight, resting, out patrolling the lands, or even in his "leave me alone mood". In any mood he always seemed distant and thoughtful. His goal had been to be the strongest youkai in the lands. 'He is the strongest. Strong, kind and handsome,' she thought to herself.

The castle was a beehive of activity, if you could call six servants, one retainer and one rebellious teenager a beehive. Daira made sure everyone cleaned the castle from top to bottom. Not that the castle was dirty, but because she wanted it perfect for when Sesshoumaru arrived.

"Where is that girl?!" Jaken demanded. Jaken had shown up early in the morning with the news of Sesshoumaru's pending arrival. "Sesshoumaru-sama will be here soon. All she does is cause problems!" grouched the little green imp. He saw Rin come up from the spring. "It's about time you showed up, you ungrateful girl!" As much as he complained about Rin, he really had become fond of her.

Rin awaited the arrival with trepidation. She had no idea what his mood would be. He had gone out about a week ago, to look into some dragon youkai slayings. The slayings had bothered him for some reason.

"What did Sesshoumaru-sama find out?" she dared to ask Jaken.

"Never you mind that now! You need to look your best! Go change, and hurry!"

Rin had forgotten she hadn't changed yet. She ran into the castle to change into her best kimono. It had a pale cream background color with a pattern of red flowers, dark blue fans and cranes. Rin hurried and changed, then went back outside.

Jaken and Daira were the only ones outside waiting. Rin went to stand next to Daira. She had mixed feelings about Sesshoumaru returning. They hadn't spoken much since the hot spring incident. Neither said anything about how they felt or what they saw that day, preferring to pretend it never happened. Rin, because she was embarrassed. Sesshoumaru, because his own feelings confused him. He didn't want to acknowledge them, to himself let alone anyone else.

It wasn't long before Sesshoumaru appeared.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, welcome back," Daira greeted her Lord. It was then that they realized he wasn't alone.

"Hi'Iki will be staying with us for now. Make sure he has a room ready."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama," Daira hurried to comply.

"Rin"

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama" Rin kept her head respectfully bowed as she came forward to stand slightly behind Sesshoumaru.

"Rin, this is Hi'Iki."

"Such a lovely creature! It is my pleasure to meet you Rin," Hi'Iki bowed to Rin, a charming smile on his face.

Cynthia said she liked what she was able to read, but was too tired to finish.. Please add comments on what I can do better. A few little notes here:

I'm not into the "bite marking" thing that other writers seem to like. There's never been any evidence of it in the manga/anime, so I won't use it.

Any Japanese words will be added by Cynthia, unless I know them and can add the meanings.