Rotten Luck

He was like a bad luck magnet. Misfortune followed him around like flies would a stinky dog. Of course, this wasn't his fault at all, so Hinata got used to the curse of sorts…

But she didn't think that it would ruin their 'special night'.

A wide, comical grin crossed Sasuke's face as he slammed the hotel door shut behind him and eyed the unclothed girl on the black covers of the wide bed. Hinata smiled back, her face glowing.

"Finally…" Sasuke said, sighing deeply and whipping off the tie around his neck. "Finally, I become a man!"

Hinata frowned and fought the urge to cover herself up. "Honestly, Sasuke, must you act like a child tonight?"

Sasuke shrugged and made his way to the bed, stifling back the huge nosebleed that was threatening to burst out. "Well, come on! We've been together for years and tonight, we're finally going to hump romantically!"

Hinata shook her head. "Sasuke, please…'make love' is a better term." She groaned and shifted uncomfortably. "I still don't know if we should be doing this…"

Sasuke quickly grabbed her hand. "Hinata, it's alright! No one's watching!" He smiled in a reassuring manner. "And besides…you're already naked, and I don't think I can hold back." He looked down at the lump in his pants. "Jeeze, it decided to pop out already!"

Hinata slowly nodded, completely trusting Sasuke. Well, he was right. It was perfectly acceptable for a couple to express their love on a night like this. Hell, everyone did it on this night of their life. And she had to admit, she probably wouldn't have been able to wait much longer before getting into Sasuke's pants…

"Alright, Sasuke," Hinata said, smiling seductively and gesturing to him. "Let's hump roman- I mean, make love."

Sasuke giggled like a school girl who had won tickets to a Gackt concert and started to remove his pants, making Hinata all the more anxious and excited…

'Oh god, he's…he's gorgeous!'

As soon as Sasuke had slipped off his shirt, the bad luck curse had decided to play its part once more as a loud, thundering knock sounded on the hotel room door followed by a distinct and high-pitched voice.

"HEEYYY! SASUKE! I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY FUCKING RIGHT NOW BUT-"

Sasuke grimaced. "You're-you're kidding me, right?"

Hinata shrieked and quickly tried to cover her bare body with her arms. "Oh crap, it's Naruto! Sasuke, go get it!"

"But I'm almost naked!"

"Well, I am completely naked!"

Sasuke groaned in frustration before stomping to the door and flinging it open. The blonde-haired young man was standing in front of him, smiling maliciously.

"Nice boxers," he said mockingly. "Pink hearts are sure to win any woman."

"Na…ru…to…" Sasuke growled. "I'm extremely busy."

Naruto looked over his shoulder. "Really? I don't see Hinata anywhere. Maybe I should go look in your room for her-"

Before he could cross the threshold, Sasuke grabbed him by the collar and flung him back.

"Don't you dare go in there, Naruto," Sasuke said icily.

Naruto squirmed. "Why? Is Hinata naked or something-"

Sasuke pushed him away. "Why are you even here?"

Naruto smirked. "Sorry to disturb your special night, but the Hokage needs to see you about the scroll you lost."

Sasuke stared at Naruto disbelievingly before turning to the hotel room door and slamming his head on it, yelling the only word that had been on his mind all day: "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

Naruto laughed and started walking away. "Yeah, I know that you probably wanna go do that right now, but toooooooo BAD!"

Before Sasuke could jam his fist into the other man's fast, Naruto was running down the stairs, giggling loudly. Sasuke glared after him before going back inside the room and slaming the door shut, causing Hinata to jump.

"S-Sasuke?" Hinata whimpered nervously as Sasuke slid his pants back on. "What did Naruto come for?"

Sasuke groaned as he pulled his shirt back on. "I hafta go see that old bitch Tsunade."

Hinata's shoulders drooped. "Are you serious? But-but don't they know that we're-"

Sasuke bent down next to the girl and lightly kissed her forehead. "They probably do, Hinata." He turned away and opened the door. "This shouldn't take too long."

Hinata frowned as the Sasuke headed out the door. "Not with your miserable luck," she muttered.

Sasuke rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily from running the whole way to the Hokage's office. "That…that stupid hag."

He ran his hand through his sweating hair before knocking on the tall, wooden door. After a few seconds, Tsunade's black-haired assistant opened the door and smiled at him warily.

"Good-good evening, S-Sasuke-san," Shizune managed to say between loud yawns.

Sasuke pushed her away and stormed past her to the large desk in the middle of the room, where Tsunade was flipping through an enormous stack of papers. The woman looked up and sneered at the aggravated boy.

"Thank you for coming, Sasuke," she said, her voice dripping with malice.

Sasuke banged his hand on her desk, causing the small mug filled with pens to topple over and crash on the floor. "Tsunade, damn it all! I'm supposed to be on my hon-"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, we know. I heard from the other ANBU members that you wouldn't shut the hell up about it during training."

Sasuke scowled and crossed his arms. "Look, lady, let's just get this over with so I can go back to Hinata."

Tsunade rested her elbows on the desktop and laced her fingers together. "As you know, during your last mission you, being the dumb ass you are, lost an extremely important scroll containing top-secret information." She sighed and flipped back one of her long blonde pigtails over her shoulder. "But thankfully, the last we heard was the scroll has not been intercepted by any shinobi from other countries."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "So that means everything's okay, right? Why am I even here?"

Tsunade pulled her hands apart. "Because…" She lifted the huge stack of papers and smiled pompously. "You have to do some paperwork."

Sasuke's jaw fell. "No way-"

"Not only that, but for your half-ass behavior and embarrassment towards the ANBU squads of Konoha, you will have to find the scroll and do community service…" Tsunade grinned. "Tonight."

Sasuke blinked several times and was both on the verge of crying and kicking the ugly bitch out the window. Instead, he simply saluted and lifted the stack of papers.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade nodded, pleased. "Good." She pointed out the door. "Finish the paper work and then you can start scooping dog crap in the park."

Sasuke bowed and slumped out of the room, very aware of the loud laughs that followed him. He pulled the office door shut behind him and slumped to the floor.

"Some honeymoon this is."

END