Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm making no money. Everything is owned by J.K. Rowling. (Well, almost everything, but saying what I own NOW will ruin the surprise!)

A/N: To dash the rumors and perverts, listen to the following:

Hermione is not pregnant.

Hermione is not a Death Eater

Hermione is not a guy

Hermione does not have another time turner

Hermione doesn't have a twin

Hermione is nothing perverted.

Thank You! HA, HA -Bix out-

Chapter One: Stranger Than A Skerwt

Hermione sat on her bed, shocked at what her mother had just told her. There was no way this is could be true. After all, she had lived the past six years thinking one thing, how could she just adjust to this?

Hermione climbed off her bed and grabbed her stuff. Calling downstairs in an angry voice she yelled to her mother, "I'm off. See you in June."

Grabbing the floo powder she had bought in Diagon Alley, she threw it in. "DIAGON ALLEY!" She cried and immediately began to spin.

Meanwhile in Diagon alley…

Harry and Ron paced. They had been told to meet Hermione here at 2:00. It was 2:30.

"Where the bloody-" Ron started, but Mrs. Weasley walked in. "Where is she?" Ron finished, looking at Harry.

Harry shrugged. "I dunno." Just then Hermione rocketed out of the fireplace. Jumping up, she said, "Sorry I'm late!"

Harry and Ron laughed. Ron, seeing his chance to get back at Hermione, said "You got some dirt on your nose, did you know? Just there." A/N: That linenot mine.

Hermione stood up and smacked him upside the head. Harry laughed. Mrs. Weasley laughed. "Come on Hermione. Go put your trunk upstairs. We'll meet you here to go shopping." Hermione nodded and took her stuff up to the room.

The bright sunlight made Hermione squint as she headed down towards the book shop. Harry and Ron had gone to the Quidditch shop and Hermione didn't feel like looking at Quidditch supplies.

A large poster caught her eye.

ATTENTION:

Gilderoy Lockhart will be presenting his new book

The New Magical Me

At 4:15 on August 31 HERE!

Hermione laughed. There was no way she was going. She glanced at her watch. Just bloody brilliant… Hermione groaned as she walked inside. It was exactly 4:13 and she was never going to be able to avoid it. She was just paying for her books when she heard "Ladies and gentlemen…or, well, I guess just 'Ladies!' You are all getting a very special treat. Gilderoy Lockhart's newest book "The New Magical Me"! Now, as you all know, Mr. Lockhart was just released from St. Mungo's. Please help me in saying welcome to MR. GILDEROY LOCKHART!"

Hermione couldn't help herself. She started laughing hysterically and ran from the shop before she said something she'd regret.

Still laughing, she didn't realize she had run into Mrs. Weasley. "Oh Hermione! Have you seen Gilderoy Lockhart? I'm going over now!" Hermione grinned. "Um, yes. I just came from there actually…"

But Mrs. Weasley was already on her way down the street towards the book shop. She couldn't find Ron and Harry, so she made her way back to The Leaky Cauldron by herself.

Later that evening, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Weasley's sat down to dinner at a long table in the back of the pub. While everyone was chattering with one another, Hermione was picking at her food and thinking about the news she had gotten that morning. What would Harry and Ron say? Would they understand? What if everyone found out?...

"Hermione!" Hermione jumped and looked at Ron. "I've only been calling you for the past five minutes. Anybody home?"

Hermione blushed. "Um ya. What do you want?"

Ron laughed "Nothing. We're all going to bed. You coming?" Hermione nodded and headed upstairs, thoughts of that morning buzzing in her head.