Fitful dreams tumbled through Korra's brain, and suddenly, her eyes were open. She was staring out into the night. Korra tried to think of what she had been dreaming about, but couldn't remember. Being trapped. Masks.
She rolled over and looked at Naga, who was resting peacefully by her side. Good old Naga.
Then, she heard a sound come from outside the window. Memories of Amon still fresh in her mind, she tensed up and stared outside. The sound came towards her, and it seemed like someone was… crying. The presence stopped and Korra could sense the person was right outside her window, frenzied sobs filling the air.
"Ko-Korra?"
"Bolin?" she asked, surprised. She jumped up and ran over to the window. "Is that you?"
It was. The young Earthbender was standing outside Korra's window, looking destroyed. His whole face was splotched and glistening from tears, and his eyes were bloodshot. Snot dripped down his nose and hung by his quivering lip. Bolin's whole body shook badly, and it looked like he might actually faint. But the worst part was the way he was looking at her: totally lost, mourning, and desperate for comfort. She knew something terrible had happened.
"What's wrong?"
"Pa-" Bolin began, but immediately dissolved into tears. Korra, totally baffled, grabbed him forcefully. Bolin looked up at her, and tried to contain his sobs.
"Just… Just come inside and sit down," Korra said. She had no idea how to handle this situation. She could barely understand her own emotions, how was she supposed to help with Bolin's?! But one look at his eyes and she knew she had to try. Spirits, he was a wreck.
Bolin complied, and stumbled into her room with her guiding him. She helped him sit up on her bed. Bolin curled up and looked down at the sheets, trying unsuccessfully to calm his rapid breath.
"Okay, you're… okay," Korra said awkwardly, patting Bolin on the back. Bolin tried to nod. "Now can you tell me what happened?"
"Yeah… Pa… Pa-" Bolin's breath exploded back to speeding up. It kept going faster and faster until he was hyperventilating, and the short gasps filled the room. Korra watched in horror, at Bolin's wide open eyes, and finally she couldn't take it anymore.
"CALM DOWN!" she yelled desperately at him.
Bolin yelped, squeezed his eyes shut and miraculously, did.
His breath became slower. Still quick, but through pure willpower he was able to keep himself under control.
"I'm sorry," Bolin wheezed breathlessly.
"It's okay," Korra said. She wondered if she really should ask Bolin what happened, or if that would just set him off again. But Tenzin had said that you had to admit your fears and stuff to get rid of them… and he was the expert on emotions. "Now just tell me what happened… without sobbing." Korra realized that must have sounded kind of cold, so she put her hands on Bolin's knee, and tried to smile.
Bolin gave a little laugh through his tears. He shook himself, and looked down at Korra's hands. He reached out, and wrapped his fingers around them weakly. Korra squeezed his hand, and Bolin closed his eyes. It took him a long time to speak.
"Pabu… died."
Korra gasped. "What?!" she exclaimed, unable to stop herself. Bolin's breath quickened. Korra looked up and she could tell how desperately he was trying not to break down again.
"He had stopped… ea- eating, a few days ago," Bolin said through wheezes. "I just thought he was… wasn't hungry!" His hand squeezed Korra's so hard it cut off her circulation. She took her other hand and gently soothed it.
"And then?"
"I woke up tonight…" Korra watched a tear roll down Bolin's face. The life had seemed to have drained out of him, and his eyes had a blank stare. Compared to this, his breakdown when she had kissed Mako was nothing.
"He wouldn't move," Bolin continued, his voice impossibly monotone for someone who had been sobbing a minute ago. "I tried to wake him… Yelled at him…. Nothing. Mako wasn't there."
Bolin glanced out the window.
"… And then I realized."
He looked back at Korra, right in her eyes. She wanted to look away, but held her glance for Bolin's sake.
"He was gone."
And suddenly, Bolin flung his arms around Korra and fell into her. Korra fell back, unprepared, and crying filled her ears. Bolin's head was against her shoulder, tears blotching her nightgown. She just held Bolin, unable to think of anything else. He just sobbed and sobbed.
"I'm so sorry Korra," Bolin said, though Korra could barely hear, his voice was so muffled by the tears. "I'm so pathetic."
She had no idea how to comfort him.
"I'm so sorry I- came here and… broke down like -this in front of you."
What had Tenzin done to comfort her?
"And woke you up- and made… you have to deal- with this."
He had just…
"And I think I- trampled some flowers and-"
Been there for her.
"I'm-… pa-thetic."
And he hadn't let her beat herself up.
Korra squeezed Bolin, and then pulled him back. He was still mumbling apologizes to her.
"Bolin. BOLIN."
She shook him, and he snapped out of it.
"You're not ever gonna apologize for crying again to me, okay?"
"But-"
"No buts, I don't want to hear it. You came so I could help you, and so that's what I'm gonna do." She'd have no nonsense with this emotions stuff. Korra sighed. Now she had to figure out how to help him.
She looked at Bolin's disheveled appearance. That was a place to start. She moved her hand and gently pushed the hair out of his eyes so she could see him. Then, she looked around, grabbed a towel that she had left on the floor earlier, and started to wipe away his dried tears. Tenzin hadn't done that, but her mother had when she cried, and she remembered it had helped her.
Bolin tried to laugh through his tears. "You know… you could just waterbend them away."
Korra smiled. "Yeah, tearbending, right?"
The only sound was her wiping Bolin's face softly for a while. He looked so exhausted.
"Do you wanna sleep?" Korra asked.
"No. I won't be able to."
"Right." Stupid question, Korra thought to herself.
"It's just…" Bolin began.
"What?"
"No, it's stupid."
"Say it."
"No."
"Say it."
Bolin looked away at Naga. "It's just," Bolin said so quietly it was all Korra could hear.
"He was my best friend."
"…"
Korra looked at Naga too. And suddenly it hit her, what it would be like if Naga died. Naga had always been with her. Back at home - no, still - Naga was her best friend. When Howl hadn't been there, Naga was the only person – well, not person – Korra could be open with. She trusted Naga with her life, and knew Naga would do anything to protect her. She was what had kept Korra happy, sane, safe.
And Bolin had lost his equivalent.
"I'm so sorry," Korra said, her voice cracking. She looked over at Bolin and wiped her eyes. If she started crying…
"I miss him already," Bolin said. He rested his head on Korra's shoulder. And Korra rested her head on Bolin's.
"I just can't believe I'll never be able to teach him another trick…" Bolin said. "Or that he'll never be with me when I'm scared. You know…" He looked up at Korra, and fresh tears were flowing down his face. "He was the one who gave me the strength to give you that gift."
Korra didn't know what to say. She wasn't good at this. And she felt terrible that she couldn't comfort Bolin more.
"The memories will always be with you though," she said.
"Yeah," Bolin sighed.
They sat in silence for a long time, Bolin softly crying. Korra wanted to say something to make him feel better, but couldn't. She just hoped her presence would be enough to help him.
After maybe a few hours, Korra yawned. Bolin glanced up.
"Sorry," he said sincerely. "I shouldn't be keeping you up like this." He pulled away and sat up.
"What?!" Korra said baffled. "You- Why… Just stop." Bolin laughed.
"Fine." he said.
Korra smiled softly. "Wanna lie down?" she asked. Immediately afterwards, she realized what she had just implied. And she really hadn't wanted to do that. Spirits, why was this so hard?!
"No, I couldn't do that," Bolin said. Korra looked at him, and she knew how utterly exhausted he was.
"I just meant it might be more comfortable," she said. It was so late, she didn't really care if this seemed awkward. She lay down on the bed, and gestured for Bolin to do the same. He shrugged, and then did.
Korra watched Bolin's calm breath. It was infinitely better than when he had first been outside her window. Maybe she had helped.
"It's just scary," Bolin said, staring at the ceiling.
" Hmm?"
"I don't have a best friend anymore."
"Well…"
Korra looked at this boy, this man. She just wanted to help him.
Korra held Bolin's face, leaned in, then softly kissed his lips.
"Then let me be yours."
Bolin looked over at Korra, eyes wide. Korra realized what she had done, but didn't regret it.
"Thank you," Bolin said smiling sadly, and fresh tears were falling down his face.
Korra gave a sad smile too. "Well no more tear bending, okay? It sucks to see you cry."
Bolin nodded through tears, and wiped his eyes. Korra reached out, and took Bolin's hand in hers.
"We'll get through this. Together."