When You Fall
Sonny tucked her knees in closer to her body shivering from the cold. Is this how it felt to be dead? Cold and alone?
The flood light flickered on and off in the rain, lighting up the back lot every few seconds. There was no one out here. Everyone was probably home, in their warm houses, enjoying their families.
She'd been out here for hours now, not sure if she was every going to go in. To face all those people. To care for them, so they could all just go die on her.
She saw the glimmer of headlights in a puddle and looked up to see a Beamer moving slowly through the lot. That was Chad's car. She tucked herself closer to the cinderblock wall. The last thing she wanted to deal with was Chad Dylan Cooper.
As if some higher power wanted to make this day even worse, she heard his engine purr closer and closer. She heard the door open, and footsteps running toward her.
"Sonny! What the hell are you doing out here? It's freezing!" he was already taking off his uniform jacket to give to her, but she refused to move.
"Just leave me alone Chad. I don't have the will or the patience to argue with you right now."
"Are you blind?! I'm not here to argue with you! I'm here to take you back to Chuckle City, where it's warm and you can get dry clothes."
"I just need to be alone, okay?"
"Fine! Then lock yourself in your dressing room or something! I know Tawni would understand!"
"You don't know anything…" she said, glaring up at him. His face was streaked with rain, and his shirt clung to his body. He was still holding out the jacket. His car was still running behind him.
"I know that Lucy wouldn't want you to stop living for her. And that's what you'll do when you catch pneumonia. Can we please talk this over in the car? I promise I won't take you back to the set if you don't want to go."
She loosened, giving him enough space to pick her up and carry her to the car. She was totally limp, exhausted from crying.
He got in and took a deep breath. Finally he could stop panicking. She was alright.
"Since when did you start caring?" Sonny asked weakly from the passenger seat. She still stared out the window at the pouring rain.
"Since you needed me to. Nobody knew where you'd gotten at the studio, so I called your mom. She told me…"
"She told you about Lucy?"
"Yeah, and then I started looking for you. But you're good at hiding. I've been out here, frantically searching for two hours…"
"You were worried about me?"
Chad stuttered for a second with no response before changing the subject, "So, Lucy?"
Sonny's face dropped from confusion back to sadness. "I can't even go home for the funeral, you know that? I have rehearsal all week. How am I supposed to make people laugh when I'm crying inside?"
Chad stared out the windshield. He didn't have any answers.
"She was seventeen. How could this happen? And I haven't even talked to her in weeks. I was so busy with the show and everything and now she's gone…"
"We're gonna go somewhere," he said, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. He drove to a nearby playground and parked again. The ghostly swings swung back and forth in the gusts. He seemed to be looking through them.
"You know how I have a hard time connecting with people?"
"It's called being conceited Chad…" she said, trying to say it in the nicest way possible.
"It's not so much that I love myself so much, it's just that I have a hard time loving other people. You know, I was born into the business. I was doing commercials since I was a month old. It's always been hard to make friends."
Sonny pictured a small version of Chad swinging on the swing set alone, but she could tell he wasn't finished.
"Then I did this kids show, and there was this one kid named Vince. He was my best friend. We used to call each other the coolest ten year olds on the planet…"
"I've never heard you mention him before."
"Well, when we were eleven, Vince started taking a lot of time off. He was feeling weak and he was always tired. Then his parents took him to the hospital…and he had leukemia. They didn't catch it in time. Within a month, he was gone."
He looked at Sonny before going on, "We used to come here a lot. It was close to the studio you know? We could ride our bikes up here. The day of the funeral, I walked past the casket and I saw him just lying there, not even smiling."
He started choking up, and a few tears started to fall. Sonny reached over and took one of his hands.
"I didn't even stay for the service. I ran all the way over here and just cried, and cried, and cried. When it got dark, I caught a glimpse of him over on those swings. I know it was just my imagination, but I'd like to think he never really left me, you know?"
He chuckled a little, "Anyway, I took a year off and came back to work. It kept me busy. I never let anybody get too close to me because I didn't want them to leave like Vince did."
He turned his whole body to face her, "You're the only one I've ever told about this Sonny. You're the only one since Vince to be able to break down my walls. I can't lose you now."
"How would you lose me?"
"To this, to feeling like you can't tell anyone that you're hurting or you'll be weak. It almost killed me, and you're so nice it would just eat you up."
"I'm still amazed you care."
"Sonny, I care more about you than any other creature on this Earth. I've been holding that off for a long time, but I think you needed to know tonight that, well; you're not alone in the world. There is at least one person that loves you."
"My mom…" she said warily, not wanting to assume anything.
"Two then…" he said leaning closer and let his lips graze over hers in a bittersweet kiss.
"How do I know I can trust you? You've spent all these years pushing people away, how do I know you'll let me in?"
"Isn't blind trust good enough for you?" she shook her head. "Then know this Sonny Munroe. When the rest of the world is dragging you down, and you're about to fall into a pit of despair, I will be the one that will catch you. Because God I love you Sonny."
Kinda bittersweet huh? I kind of liked the way CDC opened up a little. Tell me what you thought. REVIEW.