It had been a long time since Pony Boy and the gang. He'd been known as Steve then and was so young. It took a few years, but they'd moved out of that neighborhood and he'd been told, by his foster parents, to go by the name Joel and so he did. He forgot how to fight like a greaser, he forgot his friends, and he became Joel Goodsen so easily he almost forgot that Johnny was dead and that Dallas was gunned down by the cops in the park. He'd almost forgotten, but then he didn't, and just because Joel Goodsen said 'what the fuck' every once in while, he did give a fuck about the friends he'd been forced to leave behind. So he kept it bottled up, met a hooker, had sex on a goddamn train, and learned something about life.
He would got to college soon after, but Lana was a great woman and he'd made sure she'd been in a better position than going back to Guido. They'd made it big a few weeks before his going to college and she was alright, especially with the other girls getting into business with her. They'd made something out of that night, but after that, he was done with saying 'what the fuck' and was going to get his business degree.
That didn't work out so well; actually, it just worked out differently. He'd changed his major and went into the ROTC for the Air Force. He'd become friends with (call-sign) Goose, a man who would later be his wingman and who he would feel responsible for; another man's death on his mind. He wouldn't forgive himself for a while, even though the Top Gun instructor, his semi-girlfriend Charlie, tried to help him through it. It wasn't until Ice had those MIGs on his tail that Joel Goodsen, code name Maverick, became the fighter pilot he'd been before the death of his friend. A few more years of being enlisted and he'd given it up, then twenty-six years old.
He'd tried to be a lot of things afterwards, trying his hand at being a lawyer (getting screwed a few times), being a vampire (that one he would never talk about again), and a race car driver (he'd definitely liked the last one before he'd been recruited). He had entertained they idea of being Cole Trickle, another alias of his because a kid who'd once been Steve, became Joel, then Maverick, had to at one point make a shit-ton of IDs and Cole Trickle was a name he'd kind of liked. He'd also been Lestat and Mitch, but for some reason, he'd didn't like those as much. One couldn't get away with shit when they sounded like a French vampire (no one in his team would ever get to learn about the Lestat de Lioncourt phase) or a marvel character (seriously, Mitch McDeere? What had he been thinking?).
To say the least, he hadn't been very surprised when IMF had offered him a job instead of sending him to federal prison.
That's when he'd become Ethan Hunt. That day, in the interrogation room that the CIA had for assholes like him who evaded the shit out of the IRS and had about seven names by the time they'd caught him. They'd kept anything about him out of the news, feeling relatively shamed that they'd lost him after the Top Gun program. After that, he'd been an Untouchable almost (he preferred to be Connery more than Costner, but he liked both versions). After a few missions, he'd become a well-trusted agent and had convinced the IMF of his loyalty just as he was being set up. He'd never forgiven Phelps and Krieger, even after they'd both died in the helicopter crash, but he had a right to be angry. They'd gotten the Goodsens falsely arrested (he'd listed them as his Aunt and Uncle when they asked for relatives and no one questioned him, because he had a fucked up amount of identities and shit, he missed being Steve sometimes) and nearly killed Ethan. The best thing that had happened in result of the mission was Luther's reinstatement and the start of a hilarious friendship.
After that it was two undercover missions, one of them being to set up an IMF sponsored cash cow (sometimes he wished he was still Jerry Maguire and had that adorable kid and beautiful wife, but it was all a ploy). The other was to bring down a sex-ring that had some big names in it (he fell in love with his fellow operative, but she didn't return the sentiment, and he quit being Dr. Bill and became Ethan Hunt as quickly as he could). They'd been successful and the IMF had him protected for a while (they worried over their fucked up agent sometimes) and he was glad to have the detail at times. Then there would be the time where he wanted to tell them to fuck off so that he could eat a TV dinner without having to make one for the two agents as well, because they were kind of blatant about security. Luther would make fun of him, as well, and at times he just didn't want to hear it because being reminded of Dr. Bill pissed him off to no end and Ethan Hunt did not generally get pissed (but hell, Steve did).
So he took a vacation; a damn vacation that got one of his friends killed (another friend, Nekhorvich, a great friend. His conscience would never leave him alone). The IMF took a longer time than normal to find him rock climbing in Texas, but, in their usual fashion, relayed the mission and the detail exploded five seconds after. He would have to work with Nyah to get at Ambrose, but he didn't mind. Joel was good with women after a few encounters, Lestat was a turn on to most women, Maverick had experience with older women, and Ethan Hunt? Well, Ethan Hunt had his share of sexual partners and Nyah (a great woman, really, and someone who he'd wished hadn't been added to his list of the dead) was one of them. She was perfect and dangerous, but, like all of them, she eventually left him.
He'd had to take a job, an undercover job, to feel something, to see another human being. Dave had been his name and he'd had to be cryogenically frozen, for fuck's sake, to gain back some semblance of peace. They'd discovered the dangers of cryogenics because of the fracture of his mind, but he went through the therapy (IMF wanted him in top shape for the next mission) and he became semi-human again.
He'd begun to feel as though he was exactly like that kid, Frank Abagnale Jr., from the movie Catch Me If You Can. He wasn't one human, he was several, and he was beginning to find it hard to pull them all into Ethan Hunt.
The next one had nearly killed him, because damn it Max, he wasn't actually an assassin. He was recruiting and you made the list (Max would later be trained by Ethan and freaked out in the middle of their session. IMF assigned him a therapist, as they're always want to do, afterwards), so really, Max needed to not kill him on a train. He was getting tired of being shot at and he couldn't help but be reminded of Nyah, because Annie was a strong woman who knew what to do in dire situations (she'd also been recruited, the others that he'd killed had actually been part of a drug ring. IMF had taken in Fanning soon after). He'd nearly relapsed into that depressive state, but he met Julia.
Yes, Ethan Hunt met Julia and everything changed.
He was going to marry her; Julia. They were engaged and they were having their party when he'd been contacted by IMF. One disposable camera message later and he was after Ferris, trying his best to save someone he'd once been close to. He'd trained her and they'd slept together (after Nyah his days of sleeping with women were somewhat of a haze until Julia), and she died.
She's added to the list seconds after because, really, it's the worst list in the world and he hates it, but he has to keep track of them.
Because Steve would want Ethan Hunt to keep track of them, his loved ones, and Joel Goodsen was a good kid who didn't really want anyone hurt, and Dave was fucked up anyways, so another name wasn't a big deal.
After that, he married her, Julia, and then he'd lost her. He'd lost her to the bastard who'd killed Lindsey Farris and then he was in trouble (again) with the IMF. His team (bless Luther, that asshole) wouldn't abandon him and they came to his rescue. Even Julia had, in the end, and for once in his life, he told someone about his life. The team accepted Julia so easily (they'd been a somewhat family at one point and she found Benji hilarious and Luther charming, even though Ethan protested that he was really an ass most of the time) but that wasn't meant to be either. From Steve to the assassin, Vincent, Ethan would never catch a break.
Even after pretending to be Roy Miller for the sake of the real Roy Miller's life (because IMF sometimes forgets to tell the CIA certain things, like 'Hey Fitz is definitely trying to sell a battery that runs on cold fusion to an arms dealer as times). He'd met June, who was a real pleasure to be around, but he had to break cover after she saved him from D.I.P. She'd met his cover parents, who were nice enough, and they'd separated on good terms. He was glad he hadn't slept with June, even though he'd grown very fond of her. He'd told Julia about her and they'd agreed that he'd done all he needed to stay under cover and she was glad they'd finally get to go on their honeymoon (because Julia was a godsend and he never wanted to leave her). Still, though, the shit always had to hit the fan some time.
He'd ended up in a Russian prison, which was always pleasant, and he was sure Bogdan was happy he'd ended up there, but hell; Sergei was Bogdan's good friend and protector. He'd never been happier to hear Dean Martin than that night when Jane and Benji had been sent for him. He'd been sent in for the murder of the hit team, which was his original purpose anyways, and he'd protected Julia. He'd had to, because that was his job and of course an IMF agent couldn't have a relationship that was outside of his work (because that didn't work, they weren't normal humans).
He'd been saddened by the news about Hanaway, but he had to get back to business (and inform the IMF about their messages starting to forget how to self destruct in the Russian side of things). They'd infiltrated the Kremlin and were blown up, along with one of the greatest structures in Russian history, and then Ghost Protocol was initiated.
That's where Ethan Hunt, the best of the best of IMF, met Chief Analyst William Brandt.
The secretary had introduced them and Ethan immediately felt some strange pull, as if Ethan Hunt was Steve again, and when he had more time later to study Brandt, he'd figured out why. The man had been so well dressed, had looked so uncomfortable, and so damn handsome. Everything about Brandt aroused something in Ethan, even the puppy look that Brandt had about him. When the Secretary had begun to set up the way Ethan would assault the both of them, he'd felt the days of being Lestat (fuck it, he'll talk about it, he was definitely experimenting during that time with his sexuality), because a surprised Brandt parted his lips in just the right way. He would've been happy to accost Brandt, but then another friend was killed (the Secretary had been the one to send in Jane and Benji to get him out of the Russian prison and was really one of the few people Ethan had trusted to always do right by him) and the car flipped over the guard rails and into a river.
He'd managed to save Brandt and himself, with a little bit of that cocky ingenuity from his days as Maverick, and they'd made it onto the train just fine (although he'd nearly run into about five things trying to get the retinal scanner working). They'd been greeted by two guns point-blank at their faces, but Benji and Jane quickly recognized him and pulled them on (they both seemed a little weary of Brandt, but pulled him in anyways).
It was another case of the shit hitting the fan, another time when Ethan Hunt was faced with saving the world and he felt so tired, but something in him knew he had to do it (Maverick seemed to be the most prevalent of his personalities that was raring to get back at Cobalt) and he turned to the two agents and the analyst for their assistance. He'd given Brandt a hard look when he nearly copped out (because damn it Ethan needed him with them, he needed the man's skills as an analyst and he wanted to figure out his attraction to Brant), which prompted the man to say yes. He'd given him another look, an appreciative one, and they'd begun to plan.
Little did he know how tied to Brandt he was (the man was part of the protection detail that he'd had to fool into thinking the Serbians had the upper hand) or how he was going to let the man know it was okay. He'd pulled his file when they'd completed their mission and were on their way to the U.S. Embassy after a hospital stay. Relations with the Russian Federation would be restored after they briefed the agents that had come to pick them up (he was glad Bogdan and his new friend came through). He'd had to have his knee in a brace for a while, but he could endure the pain long enough to complete the debriefing and then board a plane to D.C.
He nearly offered to fly them there; he wanted to be back in the States so badly (but then they'd figure out something about Ethan Hunt he didn't want the team to know). He'd shown Jane a little bit of Cole Trickle when he'd taken off in the BMW like a bat out of hell, but he knew that could easily be explained by IMF training. He would have to act relatively cagey about any skill he acquired during the earlier days of his life, including how he handled G-Force so well. They were all trained Agents, they'd notice when something was a little off.
So he decided to not single handedly fly the jet home, let alone allow the people he was supposed to trust completely know anything personal about him. Vincent wouldn't allow that, even though Steve was completely open to letting anyone in, and Lestat wouldn't mind letting Brandt in (especially Brandt). However, Vincent had become the most prevalent in the last few weeks and he aspired to keep him that way, because Vincent was the professional one of the lot. He kept things orderly and he did things as well as possible, accounting for human error and taking note of how to do better the next time. He was calm, relaxed, and logical; everything an IMF agent needed to be.
The worst thing about Vincent was the whole 'killing everyone around' thing (the cop had been declared dirty by the IMF only seconds before he'd saved Max, it had been a split second decision to shoot him). He was glad that Vincent stayed hidden until he was needed, because keeping up with all of his damn personalities was getting to be ridiculous.
To get himself off the subject of his own mental health issues, Ethan remembered to add Agent Hanaway to the list of the dead. He felt responsible for him; he'd been on several missions with Hanaway and counted him as a departed friend (he could tell Jane was making a list too, and Hanaway was at the very top).
Johnny. Dallas. Goose. Nekhorvich. Nyah. Lindsey. The Secretary. Hanaway.
His list was growing and he couldn't stop it. A small part of him wished that he would die, that all of him, every broken shard that turned into another person would die and Ethan Hunt would be remembered for being the best IMF Agent, not the guy who Death followed like a shadow. Another small part worried over Benji, Jane, Brandt, and Luther. They'd been with him through good times and bad times; he didn't want Luther to get killed (because he's not just an asshole, he's Ethan's asshole friend who he wouldn't have survived without), he would now forever worry about Benji (he showed improvement in the field, but Ethan was going to never stop being nervous), he felt like Jane was a great addition to the team (and she really was, because she tried her damnedest to not kill the assassin, she really did), and Brandt was regaining that confidence he'd lacked (after the Serbians; plus, Ethan liked that he was becoming more open and less of a sad puppy. More like a cute one with a nice ass that—he needed to reign in Lestat soon or he'd let Maverick loose on the plane and they'd be in the States in no time).
After the plane ride, which consisted of them passed out in ridiculously comfy seats, swearing fealty to all that was the IMF's private airplane, they'd ended up going separate ways. They'd met up in Louisiana, where they'd decided to be a team (except for a severe lack of one William Brandt) and his puppy (stop it Ethan, stop) told him why he didn't want to be a part of the team; why he couldn't bear to be a part of the team. So Ethan informed him why Julia wasn't on his list (he'd explain some other time about the list, Brandt needed to hear Julia's story first) and his puppy (damn it Ethan, stop letting Lestat use 'Puppy' in relation to 'Brandt') was relieved enough to know of the Secretary and Ethan's secret to take the phone and accept his position as 'The Helper' on the team. They wouldn't meet up until IMF was fully up and running and they went in to gather equipment and fly out to stop another 'end of the world' plot.
After that successful mission (yet another under Ethan Hunt's belt), they were sent on a mission that would allow his puppy (fuck it, it's stuck now) to 'seduce the rich guy'. When the rich guy had been a complete-(fuckass)-ly unsuccessful recon mission, they'd moved on to his boss's assistant. Ethan opted to be in on this one, considering that he'd had enough experience in this area (he swore he'd never talk about Lestat, but here he is, talking about it) to successfully gather the intel they needed. What he didn't expect was the fit Brandt threw afterwards. It'd gone something like:
"You had sex in a fucking broom closet. A broom closet!" His puppy's face was red with anger, his shoulder's tense and his dress shirt tensing around his muscles as the pressure from his rolled up sleeves limited their flexibility. They'd just got back to the hotel suite, which they were all sharing (even though he'd offered to grab Jane another room, but she politely refused), before Brandt let out all his pent up aggression on Ethan. He stood before him, in between the coffee table and the couch, both ridiculously expensive looking and in danger of destroyed at any second as Brandt pointed a finger angrily in his direction. The Chief Analyst and Field Agent seemed to be throwing themselves out the window as Brandt ranted; meanwhile, Benji and Jane retired themselves to their rooms, opting to stay out of this one. Jane had used the intel from his recon to steal all of the go-codes for a fighter jet armed with nuclear missiles while Benji sat at the computer and tried to ignore their Team Leader eliciting pleasured moans from the CEO's assistant. Brandt had been 'The Helper' again, sitting by Benji and apparently gripping the table so hard that Benji had taken his headset from him at one point and he hadn't even noticed. Now the other two were probably ignoring all that was William Brandt (his furious puppy) and Ethan Hunt (though really, it wasn't a small feat, considering Ethan doesn't truly exist).
"The situation called for it, Brandt." Ethan spoke calmly, trying to ignore how aroused he was by everything that was William Brandt. Lestat would've jumped him by now, but Vincent held all of them back, his ability to stay calm under any sort of pressure (and oh what pressure he would like to be under right now) saving him from the embarrassment such a literal jumping would've brought on.
"The situation called for a slight of the hand."
"Brandt, there are some things that you just have to do to get the job done."
"Clearly you'll do anything." Brandt's eyes widened immediately, his poor (puppy) teammate looking as if he was a deer in the headlights. A small jolt of surprise hit Ethan (and wounded Steve, Joel, Maverick, Mitch, Cole, Jerry, Bill, Dave, Roy, and even Vincent. Lestat couldn't ever have hurt feelings and seriously, he swore he would stop mentioning him), but he calmed all fifty versions of himself (god he hoped there wasn't that many) and smirked. He would have to smirk, because Ethan Hunt always smirked when someone wore the look that Brandt (puppy) had on his face.
"Ethan-I didn't-I mean I-what I mean to say—I-." Ethan silenced him with his hand, raising it in a placating motion (clearly Brandt's word-vomit was one of those habitual things that he was used to apologizing for).
"I know what you meant, William." Ethan practically purred when he spoke his puppy's name, letting out what could be perceived as his 'vampire side' (fuck it, Lestat was happening, because Lestat was the only one that might convince William Brandt to sleep with him). He could tell Brandt's breathing picked up, hitching as Ethan stood slowly, languidly stood up (he could tell that Brandt was revisiting earlier that day and was running through any and/or all ways someone could elicit that much vocal response during sex). Ethan Hunt had let Lestat through, the predatory personality that he'd experimented with when Louis (wasn't his real name, but then again, Lestat wasn't his either) had appeared in his life. Brandt's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, Ethan's eyes glancing at it and his mouth watering and his tongue darting out to lick his lips (because damn it, he'd wanted Brandt for a while now and he could tell that the other man didn't seem to mind, especially if the dilation of Brandt's eyes and the shifting of his posture to resituate himself was anything to go by).
"Pardon," Benji's voice startled Brandt and he looked anywhere but at Ethan (which was cute and didn't help Ethan's problem with calling him 'puppy' in his mind), the latter man only grinning in what Jane had decided was the smile only he could pull off, "but we've hacked the system in here and it looks like Fallon is trying to send the go-codes to the stealth fighter. So…we should go…now…"
"Uh…Yeah, let's go." Brandt scratched the back of his head nervously and turned away quickly, rushing to grab his gun and more than likely his suit jacket (man never took off the damn slacks; Ethan preferred to only wear slacks when they were necessary, because he was still Steve and damn it, he preferred jeans). Benji stood, not looking at Ethan, seeming as if he was at the point of saying something, but couldn't bring himself to do so.
"Benji."
"Yeah?"
"Grab your gear. We're going to have to stop a nuclear missile from reaching Beijing."
That was the last thing he'd said before they'd disabled the stealth bomber, nearly losing Brandt in the crossfire.
Johnny. Dallas. Goose. Nekhorvich. Nyah. Lindsey. The Secretary. Hanaway.
William Brandt would not end up part of the list (because even Steve liked this guy and Vincent was okay with telling Brandt anything and everything and Lestat was attracted to him greatly and Ethan wanted to keep him with him forever, because he could tell that Brandt wasn't like Julia). He was a widower, even though his wife wasn't dead, and his marriage wasn't forfeit but wasn't. He wanted to tell Julia about Brandt, because she would understand, just like she understood about June (she'd like Roy, she'd thought he was hilarious and great and she understood how many of him she'd have to love). She would tell him to keep him close, to keep him safe, and to let him meet Steve.
Because she'd met Steve and she'd loved him and thought Joel was a great kid and she'd even loved the cocky bastard that was Maverick. She'd been wary of Dr. Bill, but she understood him, and she realized the necessity of Vincent. She was the perfect match for him (or so he thought, he wasn't sure anymore when it came to comparing Julia with Brandt).
She had been another person to protect, another love to let go and to lose, but what would Brandt be? Ethan didn't want to lose the possibility of a satisfying, semi-stable relationship that wasn't based on lies and where Ethan wouldn't have to be the protector all the time (because William Brandt really could take care of himself, although sometimes Ethan wasn't so sure about his puppy).
So, when he'd had to sit in an ambulance, holding on to Brandt's hand for dear life (because he was pretty sure Steve would break if another person they all cared for died), he couldn't help but feel as if he needed to protect Brandt. The fact that, in Brandt's delirium caused by the IV drip (which they'd recently started), that he'd called out Ethan's name and pulled him close to tell him his own (Clint Barton was definitely a super hero name and Ethan was sure that was the true name of the revered Agent Hawkeye), had to mean something. He was almost sure Brandt knew about Steve, but he wanted to tell him himself and have them meet (sometimes he found it creepy how he talked about all of his different selves as different people).
It had taken him a few hours, but Ethan had realized what Brandt had done for him in those few seconds of delirium.
He'd opened up first.
Given his true name.
One of his selves was known to Ethan.
A small smile found itself on Ethan Hunt's face as he sat by the bedside of one of his team, the field agent turned analyst turned agent, William Brandt. He'd been contemplating all that he was for several hours, in that time the few bullets that had entered and stayed in Brandt's body had been removed by the surgeons in the OR. He'd been contemplating his life, his attraction to Brandt, and how the hell he'd ever relate to the other man when he had that sudden epiphany. The smile, the one Jane had been talking about, grew on his face and Ethan looked up from the chair he was sitting in to catch the hazel gaze of Brandt. They both stayed silent for several minutes, their gazes interlocked with the other, unwavering. It took a few seconds, but Brandt blinked and a grin grew on his face (lazy as it was, it still managed to make him look even more handsome).
"So, what's your real name?" Brandt broke the silence, his voice rough from having been asleep and from all the yelling that had gone on during the mission. Ethan tried not to think how he would sound after marathon-sex, but he failed for a few seconds and entertained the idea. Ethan cocked his head to the side, pondering for a moment, his eyes turning away from Brandt's to the ceiling, as if he was remembering something.
"Name?" Ethan questioned, his eyes shifting so that they locked their gaze with Brandt's again.
"Yeah, your real name." The confusion in Brandt's voice was palpable and his brow knit itself together in confusion.
"Well, gee Brandt, you're going to make me pick?"
It took everything in Ethan not to laugh as the expression that Brandt wore and as he nearly squeaked at the thought of Ethan having more than one name. Ethan let out a chuckle as Brandt gaped like a fish, his full lips parting and closing, his brain drawing a blank and conjuring up a lack of words. The other man had hit the proverbial wall.
"Start with the first?" Brandt finally managed to swallow his surprise and question Ethan, once again focusing the other man's attention.
"The first one it is."
"Sweet!" Brandt seemed happy as a clam at this notion and Ethan couldn't help but think he looked like an adorable puppy once more.
"So, I started out as Steve and I was what they used to call a greaser….."