I would die for him
Dean watched Lucifer defeating Sam and all the animosity was gone and only love resurged and remained. There was no longer the sting of betrayal because he had realized Sam hadn't betrayed him. He had just been misguided. He had betrayed Sam by not taking his own brother on faith. Someone, above anyone else, he should have placed his implicit faith in. It was because of the absence of that faith that Sam had turned to Ruby. She fed him all the right answers, all the words he had wanted to hear, that he wasn't hearing from his brother, difference was, Dean was telling him the truth and Sam didn't want to hear that.
All the talk about faith, trust, blind devotion, unquestioned obedience, it was all a lie. Dean had fallen for it all. He had accused Sam of being blinded by Ruby. What did that make him? Deaf, dumb and blind? Add selfish and stubborn to them and maybe you might come close. Dean knew that he had blown everything, but it wasn't too late to save Sam. The world could go to Hell as far as Dean was concerned, but he knew that if he didn't save the one person in his life who had been the anchor of his life, he might as well as have just stayed in Hell.
The angels, before he had arrived to watch Sam take on evil alone, had imbued him with the power equal to their own. He felt it and knew without being told how to exact it. He also knew it would be a one-time only opportunity. Blow the moment and breaking the first seal would seem like an incidental event compared to the horror that the world would endure.
Dean felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. He turned and it was Castiel.
"Let go of me," Dean said bitterly. "You can't stop me."
"Why would I stop you? You have the power to end this. It's what everyone wants."
"And what happens to Sam after I do?"
Castiel was silent.
"Look at him, Cas," Dean said. "LOOK AT HIM!!!"
Castiel watched as Sam defiantly tried to keep Lucifer from rising.
"That isn't a monster, that's my brother and he's trying to stop Lucifer. I didn't believe in him and I have to pay for that, but don't you DARE tell me that you and your God can't see what Sam is doing and not feel freakin' ashamed of yourselves. He isn't strong enough, but I am. I'll do your dirty work for you, but it's not for you. It's for him. All I ask is that when I'm done, you absolve Sam. Promise me, Cas."
Castiel raised his head heavenward and closed his eyes. When he faced Dean again, he nodded. Dean would only nod back then ran over to his brother's side.
Sam watched Dean join him and his face showed worry and dismay.
"Get out of here, Dean! You're not strong enough."
Dean looked into his brother's eyes and found his own eyes filling with tears.
"I'm sorry, Sammy."
"What? For what? Dean, we don't have time for this."
"You're right."
Dean pushed Sam out of the line of fire and watched as Lucifer rose slowly from the deep depths of perdition.
"NO!!!! DEAN!!!!" Sam shouted, but he felt drained, knew that he had no more to give, the demon blood required just to keep going was not an option.
He had no one to reach for because all he had trusted had abandoned him and the one man he should've trusted was there with him as he always had been all of his life. He had been so completely wrong. All the words he had been fed had been lies and he knew that if Dean couldn't come through, they would all be lost, civilization, as they knew it, would be gone.
Dean watched as Lucifer almost oozed out of the gigantic crack in the Earth but felt no fear.
"Come and get it, you bastard!" Dean yelled.
Lucifer's head lifted and a horrific laugh echoed from his mouth.
"So, you are the righteous man who will defeat me?"
"If you mean send you back from the cesspool that you crawled out from, yeh, that would be me," Dean sarcastically.
"I know you, Dean Winchester. Many have told me how weak you are. How easily you broke under Alistair's pressure and yet you have the audacity to face me when men and demons alike would tremble at the sight of my power."
"Whoa, think highly of yourself, don't you?" Dean taunted again. "You don't know me. You know nothing about me and you don't scare me. I've seen my share of fugly in my life, but you, you take the cake, I'll give you that."
Lucifer raised a clawed hand and without touching Dean swung it across the air cutting into Dean's mid-section. Dean fell to his knees in pain, but rose up again just as quickly.
"Dean!" Sam yelled.
"Stay put, Sam. I'm okay," Dean reassured, grimacing. "Is that the best you got? Because if it is, boy, I gotta tell you, you've got one hell of a PR working for you."
"Dean! What are you doing?" Sam asked, wondering why Dean was wasting time exchanging insults with the Prince of Darkness.
"Trust me, Sammy," was all Dean said.
"I suppose I should thank you. After all, it was because of you that I have been risen," Lucifer said.
Dean smiled.
"No, actually, Lillith did that. I believe she was your first. You must have been really desperate," Dean continued to taunt. "But I guarantee it will be me who will send you back."
"You don't possess the power."
"Test me and I'll show you what I possess," Dean spit out, the dare apparent in his voice.
Lucifer laughed.
"I admire your defiance, but it will do you no good."
Lucifer curled his hand into a fist and Dean screamed as he went down.
"Dean!" Sam yelled as he tried to run and help, but was stopped by Castiel.
"Let me go. I have to help him. Dean can't do this!"
"Yes, he can and he will. Have faith in him," Castiel said with pride and emotion in his voice.
"How can you say that? Look at what Lucifer is doing to him!"
"Dean is doing what he has to, to finish what he started."
"What?"
"Only Dean can finish it, Sam. Your lack of faith in your brother was on its own a test. You wanted to justify your choices by ignoring prophecy. You wanted to change destiny, but destiny cannot be changed."
"But Dean, he told me –"
"Yes, I know. He realized he failed you too, that he should not have lost faith in you as well, but he's making up for it now."
"By dying again? By leaving me to pick up the pieces again?" Sam said with a mix of sadness and bitterness.
Castiel turned to look at Sam.
"I see that you've learned nothing. Do you know what Dean did before he faced Lucifer?"
Sam shook his head.
"He asked for your absolution."
Sam's face crumbled with surprise and guilt.
"What?"
"Dean wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be punished for drinking the demon blood. He wants to save you from the agonies of Hell."
Sam watched Dean in pain and he felt all his strength drain away from him.
"Help him, please," Sam said.
"Dean knows what needs to be done. He will succeed."
"And die…"
Castiel fell silent and could only watch Dean suffer, but a calm understanding fell over him.
Dean fought through his pain and looked up at Lucifer. He then smiled. A puzzled look fell over Lucifer's face.
"What is wrong with you?"
"N..nothing…I forgive you…"
"WHAT?" Lucifer bellowed and let Dean go.
Dean collapsed and tried to take in a few breaths to ease his pain.
"I do not require your forgiveness!"
"M…maybe not…but I give it anyway."
Lucifer angrily lifted Dean up without touching him and slammed him up on to the ceiling. Dean groaned.
"I don't understand. Why isn't Dean fighting back? Why is he forgiving Lucifer?"
"Because true repentance comes from forgiving your transgressor –"
"Why should Dean repent? He didn't do anything wrong. He was just –"
"Weak?"
"No, no, I didn't mean that."
"Dean understands. What you call weakness is really humility. Something you should learn. Dean knows that what he did in Hell was wrong. He knows that he bargained his relief by exacting the same suffering onto others. In order to defeat Lucifer, he must admit his sin and accept punishment because it is what a truly righteous man would do. He is forgiving Lucifer for inflicting it."
Dean clenched his eyes closed.
"I forgive you for what you're doing…I deserve it…and I ask God His forgiveness for what I have done…to those souls in Hell I tortured."
"NO!" Lucifer yelled again, his anger growing.
"But most of all…I ask forgiveness from my brother…" Dean said his voice clogged with emotion and pain. "Because I lost faith in him and I had no right…I was wrong."
Lucifer then threw Dean down at the feet of Castiel and Sam.
"Dean? Dean?" Sam called out, tears streaming down his face.
Castiel bent down and touched Dean's shoulder.
"You are forgiven, Dean," Castiel said.
Dean just smiled at Castiel, his breathing ragged with pain.
"Sam?" Dean looked over, his face riddled with pain.
"Dean…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"
"Don't be sorry, Sammy…just tell me we're still brothers."
Sam looked into Dean's eyes and wondered how he could possibly have doubted his brother, how he could have let Dean's words feed into his insecurity when all he was trying to do was make him see that what he was doing was wrong. Most of all, Sam hated himself for believing in Ruby over his brother. How could he not see her for who she was? How could he have been taken in by her false comfort over the many years of true comfort that Dean had given him? It defied understanding and he was paying the price for it.
"Of course, we are, Dean. We never stopped."
Dean cracked a pain-filled smile.
"Help me up, guys. I got a job to finish."
Castiel and Sam helped Dean up.
"Dean," Sam started, but couldn't find the words to finish.
"I know this sucks big time, Sammy, but I just can't walk away from this…not because it's my destiny, I still don't give a crap about that, but because I can't let the world end…I can't let you end. Not because of my mistake," Dean said, reassuring as best as he could. "I have to finish what I started."
Sam nodded, knowing that Dean's thinking was Dean being Dean. Sam had always accused him of being a good little soldier when their dad gave orders, but it was only now that Sam could see that whenever it had mattered, Dean had fought hard to make the impossible, possible, to fight back when something went against his core beliefs and he was fighting the battle of his life, for the world, for him now.
He didn't always succeed, but he gave everything he had in him, nothing short of that. Sam had always been wrong about Dean and Dean had always let him be wrong. Dean had never corrected Sam's perception and Sam suddenly understood that yes, it was partly because Dean didn't think of himself as anyone, but just a man who hunted, not anyone special, but it was also Dean's way of being underestimated. Humble to the point of self-loathing. Sam also knew now that even though Dean never had to, it was a way to give Sam the self-confidence he needed whenever he had needed it. Little did Dean know that by doing that, Sam would cost him his life…twice. All Dean was thinking about was giving Sam that confidence, not that it would turn his little brother, who at one point worshipped the ground he walked on, into an arrogant, self-righteous, overgrown ass with an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Now, even the world might be forfeit because of it if Dean didn't succeed, but Sam knew his brother. Dean would succeed or die trying because Dean knew no other way to think.
Dean stood up shakily and face Lucifer again.
"You're going back," Dean said with as much conviction as his tired body would let him demonstrate.
Lucifer laughed at him.
"Look at you? You can barely stand. You can't defeat me."
Dean smiled.
"You see, that's the problem with you demons. You always underestimate the power of humanity."
"Because it's weak."
"Hmmm…I'd say we've done pretty well so far, considering, sometimes it hasn't been pretty, I'll give on that, but we're still here."
"Not for long. Soon I'll have dominion and humanity will serve my will."
"Yeh, not going to happen, my friend. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"Why should you care about humanity?"
"It's a thing called hope. Yeh, I know, weakness. Figured you'd say that. Still, it's what drives us lowly humans and it's what makes us keep going when giving up would be so much easier. I know all about that," Dean said. "It's stronger than anything you can offer them. Even if I fail, humanity will fight for their free will. It's a God-given right. They will make your existence an impossibility."
"You can't have good without evil."
"Maybe, but I intend to show you how powerful good can be."
Dean lifted his hands and closed his eyes. His body began to tremble and he arched with pain.
"Can't we help him?" Sam asked.
"I'm afraid we'd only be in the way," Castiel said.
A blinding beam of white light radiated out of Dean's hands and hit Lucifer full force. Lucifer countered with his own red beam. Sam was awestruck by what he was seeing and almost smiled when he thought Dean would appreciate what his first thought was upon seeing them battle. It was like two Jedi warriors with light sabers for hands dueling. Sam had remembered how much Dean had rooted for Luke in his duel with Darth Vader. Dean had taken Sam to the movie with money he had saved. This one town they were in was replaying the first trilogy and Dean had insisted that Sam not be deprived. Now Sam rooting for his hero to win.
"You ARE strong, but you WILL NOT WIN!" Lucifer said as he pushed his beam harder against Dean's.
Dean felt the push, but instead of weakening, he stood firmer and pushed back. There was pain, extreme amounts of it and he couldn't tell if it was from Lucifer or just a natural result of the power flowing from him, but he was at peace with it. He used the pain to strengthen his resolve. He took in a deep breath and thrust forward. His white energy flowed out of him and enveloped Lucifer. The pain became searing and he felt his body convulse with the effort he was exerting to hold the energy. In the distance of his pain, he heard Lucifer scream and Dean knew it was one of defeat. He then pressed the full force of his power down upon Lucifer, crying out in a mix of defiance and exertion.
Sam and Castiel watched as Dean pushed Lucifer back, Sam enjoying the curses Dean was shouting as if they were adding to his strength. Maybe they were. Sam wouldn't doubt it. Dean so took pleasure in taunting demons. He used to think it was a death wish, but now, he wondered if Dean gained his own special power from doing it.
Castiel's esteem for Dean's bravery rose for every moment he held Lucifer back. He was the only choice by prophecy, but Castiel knew it was more than that. Dean was the right choice, the right man. Dean possessed all the necessary qualities to defeat Lucifer that had nothing to do with the powers he had been given. Dean was inherently a good man. He was also a man who, regardless of what was asked of him, would evaluate on his own what was the right thing to do based on his own values. Long before he had been sent to Hell, Dean had been imbued with, for better and for worse, his father's morals, his definition of right and wrong, but even more admirable was that Dean took those values and molded his own life experiences with them. Castiel had watched Dean question and defy Zacariah's master plan, challenged Castiel about his own conviction and had called him a hypocrite, rightfully so. Dean had pledged allegiance as Castiel had, but once knowing the price that humanity would have to pay, risked his life, his soul yet again to refuse sacrificing innocents. It was a quality that took Castiel much longer to embrace in himself.
Dean brought all his power to bear on Lucifer and watched with satisfaction that it was working. He felt Lucifer weakening, buckling under his pressure against him. He surged his power even more. Finally, he watched Lucifer's red energy break and seized the opportunity to finish him.
"You're done, you bastard!" Dean declared.
Lucifer smiled almost with a glimmer of pride.
"You were formidable, Dean Winchester, but time is on my side. There will be other opportunities."
"Not on my watch," Dean uttered painfully.
Lucifer then collapsed into the crevasse from which he had emerged and it sealed itself closed behind him.
Dean felt his energy leave him and collapsed on the floor, drained, spent, dying.
Sam ran over and took his brother into his arms.
"Dean? Dean!"
Dean opened his eyes. He looked at both his brother and the man he considered an ally and friend despite their differences and smiled.
"Got…him."
"Yes, Dean, you did," Castiel said, feeling Dean's life draining away quickly. "You saved the world."
"Wait until you get my…bill," Dean joked then clenched his eyes closed from residual pain.
He turned to Sam and smiled.
"It's finally over…"
"Yeh, yeh, it is," Sam said as he cleared his throat.
"No more deals, okay?"
"Yeh, okay," Sam said quickly.
"I mean it, Sammy. The martyr stuff, it ends with me…I'm not going to Hell…" Dean said as he looked at Castiel.
"You will be at peace, Dean. You'll have the rest you deserve."
"See? Sleeping in, getting to eat all I want, it's all good," Dean joked, but then became serious. "Let me go. Live your life."
"How can I when…"
"It had to be me…"
"But if I hadn't –"
"Sammy, stop, please…you're not a demon…you're just Sam…It's time you got on with life like you were supposed to."
"You were supposed to have that too."
"No, I wasn't…I know that now. I was meant to raise you and make sure you got what you needed…you do now…always did. Happily ever after just came a little later, that's all…No regrets except for not believing in you."
"Dean…"
"I'm sorry about that, but that's all I'm sorry about…" Dean said as he arched in pain.
"Dean…" Sam said his heart feeling as if it was splitting in two.
"No more vengeance, okay, Sam? Hasn't it done enough to us, to our family? Let that end with me too."
Dean stiffened with more pain and struggled to breath. He felt the pain rise again and squeezed Sam's shirt. Sam saw it and took Dean's hand into his.
"I'm here, Dean. I'm not going anywhere."
"Y..you…always were, Sammy…only destiny…I had was…to be your brother…would do that again in a heartbeat…" Dean said smiling. "Bitch."
"Yeh, me too," Sam said, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Jerk."
Dean arched and moaned. Sam watched his brother's suffering and almost prayed that it would just finally end for Dean. As much as Sam didn't want to lose Dean, watching him suffer so much after doing something so heroic, it gave Sam pain. It then suddenly dawned on him that maybe Dean was holding on for him. He had asked Sam to let him go and Sam hadn't told him that it was okay for Dean to go. Sam realized it was something Dean would do, hang on, no matter how painful, if it was humanly possible. Sam wasn't sure he could accept a world without Dean in it, but he knew that it was about time he stepped up to think of Dean instead of himself.
"S…Sammy?" Dean said, noticing Sam's far away look.
"It's okay, Dean. I'm okay or at least I'll be okay. Let go."
Dean looked at his baby brother, no longer a baby, but the bond and love he felt for him just as strong as the time he had carried Sam out of their burning house. They had both pulled on that bond to its breaking point, almost succeeding this last time, but Dean knew that despite everything Sam had said to him, he never would have walked away, not completely and he didn't, he couldn't. Bobby's tough love words had sunk in where his stubbornness had blocked his natural instincts.
"Y..you sure?"
"No, but I do know that I'll try. No deals, no vengeance, but I can't promise I won't be sad, maybe a little lost. Don't ask me not to be."
"I…I won't."
"Let go, Dean. You can stop worrying about me. I'll be okay."
Dean nodded and his breathing quickened.
"I…know…"
Dean took in a ragged breath and exhaled. His eyes remained open and fixed on Sam's face. He wanted to make sure that Sam saw his confidence in him. They were robbed of that the last time. That time it was all blood, brutality, recrimination, regret, and pain, nothing else. This time, Dean needed Sam to see into this soul and know how much he was proud to be his brother.
Dean then went still, eyes still open, a small smile on his face. Sam's face then crumbled into sobs, sobs he had been barely holding back, staying strong and together for Dean's sake. He then held his brother's body against him, denying, for as many moments as he could, that Dean's warmth would fade, that he would wake up and push him away, knowing all the while that the truth would catch up with him sooner than he'd like it. Over Dean's shoulder, he looked up at Castiel.
"Is he okay?"
Castiel smiled and only then did Sam notice tears on Castiel's own face.
"He is at peace. There is no more pain, no more suffering."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Honor your brother for the rest of your life. Live your life as if you were honoring the life he gave to save all of us. Do that and you will have thanked him. It's Dean we should all be thanking."
Sam nodded and kept holding Dean. Castiel was right. This time around, Sam would honor his brother.
FIN. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.