Things weren't supposed to end like this! The chain rattling on his chest, the corpse lying by the side, the infuriating investigator casually plucking the kakuhou from his corpse like some kind of morbid, sickening prize with a calm arrogance.
Broken and breakable.
He discarded his weaknesses yet he saved no one. Hide was dead because he failed. Touka lost her only place to live peacefully. The manager—the man who had shown Kaneki kindness in a corrupt world—Yoshimura, had probably died at the hands of the investigators. Marred hands clutched at the white strands of hair. Everything he had ever worked for, every horrible act he committed—pointless. The peace he desired—gone in an instant.
Shaken and unraveled.
Aogiri should be eliminated. The CCG should be eliminated. Kaneki's trembling stopped and allowed his shaking hands to limply fall to his lap. Rize's ethereal form embraced Kaneki, a smirk resting on her lips. Kaneki leant back into the familiar warmth provided by his mind's insanity.
What do you think now, Kaneki? Did you surpass me?
No. A mistake. This had all been a mistake. No one would know the fate of the shy, cowardly bookworm Kaneki. No one would mourn the death of a ghoul. No family would be there to bury his corpse—to mark his existence. There would be nobody left to remember the other ghouls who had fallen to the vicious cycle of the world.
A mistake? But didn't you say surpassing me would Not be a mistake?
The unmistakable sound of a chain rattled and pain lanced through Kaneki's chest; however, Yamori's torture made most pain nothing more than a pinprick.
Hypocrite.
What?
"It's not my fault," Kaneki bit out in agitation. The specter of madness placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Black sclera and crimson irises—a ghoul's true nature. Fitting that his madness would take such a form.
No? Then I guess this will be the last time you see me Kaneki.
Kaneki grasped his chest in agony as white-hot pain incomparable to anything he had felt before ripped at his fragile mind. Fire! Why did it hurt so bad? He was dead so he shouldn't be able to feel pain but this was so much worse than the time with Yamori. What was a thousand minus seven?
"Nine-hundered and ninety-three."
Eh? Was his voice distorted last time he went insane? Ah but this felt different from his kagune. Were those screams coming from him? Detachedly, Kaneki watched the white, suffocating liquid crawl and mold over his vision. He had to remove the thing on his face or he wouldn't be able to breathe!
Bony fingers dug beneath the forming mask and pulled. The damned thing refused to move from his face and, for the first time in a while, Kaneki experienced true, unadulterated terror. This terror, different from facing a challenging foe or fearing for his life, forced his calm form to shake. Adrenalin surged in his veins as Kaneki fought against the white substance. Instinctually, Kaneki knew if he lost this fight then he would lose everything.
What made him the human and the ghoul "Kaneki Ken" would vanish and crumble like fallen leaves on an autumn morning. Panic bubbled in his chest, a bubbling laughter that accompanied the torturous insanity, and erupted in a screech of finality.
"NO! DON'T TAKE THEM!"
Hide's goofy but forever accepting smile flashed through his mind. Hide, whose blood was on his hands. He didn't deserve it. For the sake of Kaneki's selfishness…he…he…! Kaneki refused to finish the thought as he followed Hide's form to the familiar hill by the riverside. "Hide!"
"Kaneki," Hide turned and Kaneki winced at the tears trailing down Hide's cheeks, "how could you do that to me?"
"N-no. I just—!"
"There you go making excuses again."
"He's right you know." Kaneki yelped as Touka materialized right beside Hide. "You said you wouldn't leave me. Liar."
"Traitor." Hinami appeared beside the duo.
Next, Kouto and Kei. "How could you let us die? Just because you didn't want it on your conscious?"
"No. No…go away! Leave me alone! I didn't…I only wanted to protect you! Can't you see it was necessary?!" Kaneki screamed as his body stretched and his limbs twisted into claws. "Go AWAY!" Kaneki roared and swatted away the bugs standing around him. His eye caught the vile smirk of Rize before she, too, vanished in the force of his rage.
Darkness enclosed his vision. Kaneki could feel the soft pattering of rain upon pavement. His body felt heavy. An ocean pressed down on his limbs—made it hard to breathe—and agony raged in his chest. He needed something to soothe the ache.
You know what you want.
But he didn't want to accept the outcome.
Your kindness was what killed you.
Instead of Rize's warm embrace, a cold chill swept through him.
Allow me to help you.
….
A/N: So I was wondering why no one decided to use this gold mine and a plot bunny hit me despite not finishing Bleach. This started as a tease ron AO3 but I decided to finally cross-post this.
The prologue wasn't beta'ed but the second chapter will be!