A/N: This is one of my drabble requests over on LJ

Prompt: Optimus and Prowl discussing their understanding of each other after 'five servos of doom'

Warnings: Angst

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Optimus gazed upon the words in front of him. They just seemed so flat, so meaningless now. In the end words were just that, words. His fingertips brushed gently over the raised glyphs and a sigh escaped his vents. The universe was cruel; he'd always known that. Ever since he'd lost Elita only to be taunted with her existence in the form of Blackarachnia.

It didn't care about love, about friendship. Loyalty and deceit had no place in the grand scheme of things. In the end none of it mattered. Optimus wished that just this once he'd been proven wrong, been granted a reprieve from the cruelty of reality, but it was not to be. Despite everything he'd achieved, the peace he'd helped restore, it felt like a hollow victory in his spark. His helm dropped to his chest unable to look upon the image any longer. His optics flickered with the unseen turmoil raging in his spark.

"Why..." He breathed softly. "Is this what you meant? What you wanted?" He shook his head, wallowing in the voice that answered him in his thoughts, his memories. It was less real than the statue in front of him but just the memory of the voice meant more to Optimus than monuments ever could.

****

"You've been avoiding me."

Optimus snapped his helm up to look at the ninja turned Samurai standing calmly in front of him. "What?"

Prowl dipped his head and his mouth curved into a soft smile. "It's alright; I understand why you may think things are different between us."

Optimus dropped his gaze and shook his head. "It's not that Prowl. I just... well you've changed and I...I don't know."

Prowl took a step closer a tiny frown forming on his face. "While it's true that I have changed, it is not so drastic a change that I am a different mech entirely." He took another step. "I am still your friend, if you wish it." His voice was hesitant, unsure as Optimus could barely look at him.

"I'm sorry Prowl, it's not you... this is just me trying to deal with the change I suppose." Optimus rubbed his face and sighed. "I guess the only changes that ever happen around here turn out to be not so good for us." He cast Prowl a lop-sided anxious smile, trying desperately to push aside the feeling of inadequacy he felt whenever he was around the enlightened ninja.

Prowl walked closer and came to a stop beside him. "Am I so different to you?"

"No!" Optimus replied instantly. "It's not that, it's just..." He sighed again and let out an incredulous laugh. "You're going to think I'm a glitch for even thinking this."

Prowl gave him a sidelong look and smirked. "You're assuming I don't already?"

Optimus took in the dry tone and returned the playful smirk. "Thanks for that."

"My pleasure."

Optimus turned to the smaller mech and gave in. "We've grown closer over our time here on Earth haven't we?"

"I like to think so yes." Prowl met his gaze with a curious look on his face.

"I've come to trust you Prowl. You, out of everyone in our team, seem to be the one that understands me, accepts me and I can't tell you how much that has meant to me, after everything we've been through facing Megatron." He paused, searching for the right words to explain how he was feeling. "It surprised me at first because you were always the first one to disagree with me, disobey me and go off on your own. We managed to get past that and I thought I was finally beginning to understand you." Optimus rubbed the back of his neck, feeling increasingly more awkward.

"And now?" Prowl asked quietly, trying to keep the concern out of his voice.

"Now?" Optimus hesitated. "You changed."

Prowl fought against another smirk at Optimus's seeming inability to express himself. "We've established that."

Optimus cracked a smile and shook his head. "I'm not very good at this. That's precisely it though, since you got Yoketron's helmet, you're different and more confident and oh I don't know Prowl!" He growled a little in exasperation and turned away from the black and gold mech. "I guess I just feel like it should be you leading this team. I'm just not cut out for this, look how many mistakes I make." He dropped his head and a heavy bout of air escaped his vents.

Prowl stood and watched him, feeling somewhat taken aback by his admittance. Dropping his optics from the red and blue mech, he stared at his reflection in the console in front of him.

"The feeling is mutual."

Optimus turned slowly at the softly spoken words. "What?"

Prowl looked up at him and smiled warmly. "I said the feeling is mutual." He moved closer to the larger mech and held his gaze intently. "I am no leader Optimus. A helmet doesn't make a mech, it's what is in his spark. I wear this to simply honour the one who taught me to realise my own potential, to accept who I was and others around me."

"But..."

"Optimus you kept this team together, even when I fought against you, resisted your leadership. You made us into a family and I have also come to rely on your advice and your friendship as much as you have mine."

Optimus off lined his optics for a moment. "I'm sorry Prowl, when changes happen around me; I tend to think the worst. After Elita I... I can't take anything for granted, change usually means loss or failure to protect someone I care about..." He gasped and looked down as Prowl's palm rested against his chest plates.

"Not all changes are for the worst. I would hope that you can still turn to me and I to you at any point that we felt the need." Prowl frowned a little as he looked up at his leader. "All changes come with light and dark, you can't have one without the other, but I want you to know that I will always follow you and trust you to lead us to the light in times of darkness."

Optimus opened his mouth to speak, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by Prowl's honest words.

"You are a true leader Optimus; I can only hope to give as much of my spark as you have for this team, this family." He gave Optimus a rare warm smile. "I am honoured to count you as my friend. That won't change no matter what happens."

"Oh Prowl, that means a lot coming from you. I was just worried that I'd lost you somehow, that you weren't..."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know that but..."

"You have no need to explain it to me. I understand."

Optimus smiled and placed his hand over Prowl's still resting on his chest plates. "You always do."

****

Optimus rested his palm on the glyphs spelling out Prowl's name and his optics flickered with a heavy sadness. Peering up at the large statue Optimus couldn't contain the ragged grieving whimper that escaped his vocaliser. "I guess you were wrong about something after all huh Prowl?"

"Hey OP, ya ready t' go?"

Optimus turned towards the sound of Jazz's voice. The white ninjabot approached and stood next to him, his visor dimming as he gazed up at the monument.

"Pretty groovy monument huh?" His tone betrayed no mirth, his voice bitter and low.

"What does it all mean Jazz? Prowl told me not all change is for the worst. He told me he'd always be there... I guess even he couldn't have known."

Jazz frowned. "Changes have two sides t' them OP. Can't have one without the other. Prowl knew that." He smiled sadly. "He looked up t' ya, admired what ya did fer him and yer team. This was his way of making sure that didn't go t' waste, to give something back t' ya."

"I didn't want this, I'm not worthy of this kind of sacrifice!"

Jazz fought against his irritation. "Prowl thought ya were, that should be enough fer ya. He believed in ya even if ya don't." He trailed his fingers across Prowl's name and smiled fondly. "Besides all this, it's just a thing. What he did, who he was, it's in here." He tapped his chest plates, his visor returning to meet Optimus's optics. "That ain't meaningless."

Optimus returned Jazz's smile. "I guess I just regret not knowing him better. We had so little time in the end."

"Ya weren't t' know OP and neither was Prowl but I tell ya this. He didn't hesitate doin' what he did, knowin' it would keep his family together."

"That was important to him, I remember him telling me that, he thanked me for making us into a family rather than just a team."

Jazz smiled. "Then ya knew him better than any of us." He paused and rested a hand on Optimus's arm. "Yer family need ya now OP, are ya ready t' go home?"

Optimus took a deep intake and tore his gaze away from the image of Prowl, now forever unchanging. He nodded. "I'm ready."

****