Forgiven
Disclaimer: I kidnapped them and now they must do exactly as I tell them. Not really, but wouldn't that be...interesting.
Summary: When something bad happens, Jessie blames herself.
Rating: PG? Just language if anything.
Pairing: None really...yet. Focuses on Jessie's guilt over her mother's problems and her relationship with her family. Katie shows up later though...:)
Spoilers: Season three-ish. Karen doesn't become roadkill, and Jessie and Katie haven't met yet. Karen's still in her depression Grace and Jessie still don't get along.
Author's Note: Part one of I don't know how many. Let me know what you think, this is my first fic. And, thoughts are in italics. One more thing, I have like an obsessive disorder, or so it seems, and I have, like, three other stories in the making. Just warning you in case it takes me a little while to update them.
Jessie is looking out a car window, letting her mind wander, watching the people and landscape blur together. She watches Grace totally focus on the road and sighs. I hate Grace. Probably because she hates me for absolutely no reason. She's probably thinking of different ways to off me. She smiles slightly and giggles after realizing the absurdity of that idea while she focuses back out the window. Grace glances at her, but Jessie doesn't notice, she's too busy off in her own little world.
"Freak," Grace mumbles under her breath, clearly confused and frustrated at the other girl's strange outburst.
Jessie takes no notice and continues with a melancholy expression spread across her features. Her expression further clouds over as she suddenly gets a feeling of apprehension. I hope mom is all right. She thinks, more trying to convince herself. She then closes her eyes, holding back the tears threatening to spill over. Something bad is going to happen and there is nothing I can do about it. Leaning her head against the window, she closes her eyes, letting a few trickle out and lets her world fade to black.
"Jessie." A voice says in a frustrated tone, shaking her. "Jessie!" She quickly sits up straight, wondering what just happened. "Good morning sunshine," Grace grumble mockingly, rolling her eyes. Jessie just stares at her in confusion a moment and wondering when, exactly, she fell asleep. "I hope you're planning on cleaning your drool off my window," she grunts.
"Yeah," she replies awkwardly and grabs her things. Yippee! Another fun-filled hour of therapy.
"No, Grace, why don't you shut up?" Is what Rick and Lily hear as the two girls walk up to the house. They walk in still bickering as Rick and Lily try to tune them out.
"Why don't you kiss my-"
"Grace!" Lily cuts her daughter off.
"I just...well she...I'm sorry," she mutters after failing miserably to come up with a good excuse.
Jessie hides a triumphant grin. She carefully slinks out of the kitchen unnoticed. However, that wretched feeling of anxiety hits Jessie again like a hurricane. All of a sudden, her knees give out from underneath her. The commotion in the kitchen continues as Jessie shouts, "Dad!" Sounding full of fear and worry.
The whole brood rushes in with even Grace trailing and showing a mild interest in whatever is going on with Jessie. What now? She rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest.
"What is it honey? Are you okay?" Rick asks, concern drawn all over his face.
"Jessie, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Lily pipes in.
Jessie stands and tries to assess this sudden bombardment of questions. She looks at Rick and grabs him by the sleeve to drag him back into the kitchen, leaving a mystified Lily and Grace in their wake.
"Jess...what are...are you feeling-" he stammers as he's being drug away.
"I'm fine but, something happened," she catches the fearful look on his face and decides to rephrase. "I think something happened at mom's." The color drains out of her face and she hangs her head down.
"Do you want to call her or something sweetie?" He asks slowly and carefully.
She pops her head back up and asks hopefully, "Can you take me over there?" Jessie flashes a small smile.
She looks so sad. He can't say no to that. "Sure honey." We'll get there and she'll see that everything is fine.
"Mom!" Jessie shouts flying through the front door while Rick waits for her in the car. "Mom?" She repeats a little more panicked. She rushes through the house looking for her. Where could she be? Her car is in front.
Slowly, she makes her way upstairs. It's dark and hot up there, yet Jessie still gets a chill. She walks up to her mother's room. The door is slightly ajar and she pushes is open. Inside, the room is dark except for a small opening in the shades. The light is gently spread across the room. Not a lot of light, but enough to see the horror before her.
Jessie follows the trail of light with her eyes. It sends her to her mother's face. She looks at her mother's sleeping form. Good. She's all right. She smiles and shakes her head at being so paranoid. Quietly, Jessie creeps to the side of the bed. She takes her mother's hand in her own and bends down to kiss it. However, Karen's hand is cold. Worriedly, Jessie looks around the room to figure out whatever happened. Over on the dresser she spots an empty bottle of prescription pills. Not good. The information sinks in and hits her like a ton of bricks. Oh. My. God. Frantically she checks for a pulse. Good. She finally lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding in.
What is taking her so long? Rick wonders while still waiting in the car. He's beginning to wonder if Jessie was right about something being wrong. It was his turn to be worried now. Rick got up and cautiously made his way to the house.
Now realizing that she had to get help, Jessie came barreling down the stairs.
"Jess? Everything all right?" Rick shouted as he opened the front door. He shook her out of whatever mindset she was in and she tripped mid-step on the staircase. She went tumbling down the steps head-first. Rick came running over to where Jessie landed. "Oh honey! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He asked. "I am so sorry. I didn't know what was taking so long and I got worried. Are you all right?"
"Dad! Mom is NOT all right!" She cried out with tears beginning to find their way down her cheek. He was caught off guard by her outburst.
"What happened?" He asked slowly, not knowing what kind of reaction to expect.
"She...I went up and...I didn't...I...the pills...and she..." Jessie couldn't finish through her tears. Suddenly she found it hard to breathe and began to hyperventilate. She sat down, looked at her father and pointed up the stairs toward Karen's room. "9-1-1" Is all she could manage at this point with the tears streaming down her face.
In the waiting room, Jessie is sitting with her head in her hands. She can't bring herself to look at her father. He tried to comfort her, talk to her, but she just moved to the opposite side of the room. This is all my fault. I should have gotten there sooner. Tears welled up and sprung to her eyes, she started sobbing again.
"Jess," Rick said and Jessie looked up with a pathetic look of sadness flashing through her eyes. "This wasn't-"
"Karen Sammler?" A man in his late 20's interjected. He looked up from his clipboard to notice a sullen nod from Jessie. The man' s heart sank as he saw the look on this girl's beautiful young face. Looking at Rick, he started, "I'm Dr. Hartford." He paused taking in their expressions.
"Is she going to be okay or not?" Jessie suddenly shouted impatiently, jumping out of her seat. Obviously not expecting this outburst, he was taken a little aback.
Slowly, but pointedly, turning to Rick, the doctor began, " Your wife-"
"Ex-wife!" Rick corrected too quickly. He didn't notice Jessie wince at his saying that. It's been nine years, so what? It still hurts. She reasoned to herself.
Dr. Hartford, however, did notice her pained expression. He hated to twist the knife, but he had no choice. " It seems that Mrs. Sammler had an overdose on several pain killers, including Percaset, Demerol and Valium." He breathed in. Jessie immediately fell back into her seat, dazed. Slowly, he added, "She is currently in a drug-induced coma."
The doctor studied her for a moment. She just sat there not moving, not crying, not...reacting. For a moment she seemed to not be breathing. Suddenly, her head shot up. Jessie cried out a choked gasp-scream. Rick and Dr. Hartford jumped back as she got up and escaped unsteadily down the hall toward the rest room. Both men shared a look and both resisted the urge to go after her. Intriguing. Thought the doctor.
Jessie decide to seek out refuge in a bathroom stall. Leaning against the door, she proceeded to sink down to floor. Her body was shaking with sobs.
God! I should have been there. This is all my fault. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them.
For a while, she just sat there rocking back and forth. Every once and a while she would futilely dry her tears. She had no idea how long she was in there, but it must have been a long time.
"Jessie?" She heard from her own personal hiding spot. Great! Jessie rolled her eyes, but didn't answer. "Jessie, I know you're in here," Grace said with a sigh.
"No, I'm not, so piss off," Jessie grumbled through her knees and refusing to move.
"Jess, if you don't get your ass out here now, I will have to force you out," she ground out.
"Like what? Bitch me out of the bathroom?" She retorted. Grace rolled her eyes while standing close to the door.
"Look. I didn't want to come here. Mom had to drag me. She made me come in here to talk to you and try and get you out," she spewed out then sighed.
After a slight pause Jessie said, "How much is she paying you?"
Sensing the smile in her voice, "Not enough." With a more serious tone, "Stop being a hard-headed little shit and get out here."
Oh, now that pissed Jessie off to no end. To Grace's chagrin, Jessie flung the door open into her face. As she closed the stall door behind her, she revealed Grace holding her, now bleeding, nose. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said feigning regret. "I guess it's a good thing you're in a hospital." She turned to go flashing a 'how-do-ya-like-me-now?' grin. Grace found that look to be quite hit-able, but, alas, she couldn't do it through holding her nose.
"Bitch," she mumbled as Jessie walked out the door.
Jessie's self-satisfied demeanor disappeared immediately after turning away from Grace. She cast her eyes downward, then, she walked right into Lily.
"Jessie, hi," Lily stated, startled. "Are you alright? Where's Grace?" She reached out to put her hand on Jessie's shoulder, but she moved away, avoiding Lily.
Almost as if on cue, Grace walked out of the bathroom, holding her nose with her head tilted back. Jessie slinked away before she could be accused of anything. Lily's attention fell on her own daughter.
"Grace, honey, what happened?" She nodded toward a hastily retreating Jessie.
Not wanting to cause Jessie any more problems than necessary, for the time being, she covered. "It was an accident, she hit me with the stall door. I'm fine," she lied. Lily knew it was a lie, but didn't want to deal with it.
"Can we go see her yet?" Jessie breathed out exasperated. This caught her father and Dr. Hartford's attention.
"Jessie, is everything...Are you-" Rick tried, but was cut off.
"Can I see her yet?" Jessie growled out to the doctor, cutting off her father.
"Uh...she's still...you can't..." he noticed the daggers she was shooting in his direction. "Yeah, you can see her," he gave in. "But she is still unconscious," he added. She nodded glumly and followed down the hall. Slowly she turned to see her father sit back down. Asshole. He isn't even gonna see how she is? With the pissed off look she seemed to have adopted, Jessie flipped around and continued down the hall to visit her mother she believes to have let down.