Dancer in the Shadows
River danced. She danced around Serenity, her hands held high as the crew watched with smiles on their faces.
She danced with a knife clutched in her hand across the rough floors of taverns or warehouses as people looked on, horror in their eyes and blood dripping from their clothes.
But no matter how long she danced, River never forgot what she had seen in that place.
She remembered the blood that had dripped from people's hands as war flowed around them, creating chaos and destruction, sowing hatred.
She remembered the tendrils of shadow that flowed through her mind and the room, twisting and writhing into shapes that defied the imagination, like poisoned water following currents that were written in the air instead of a liquid. River had watched, eyes wide with pleasure as the shadows had wrapped around her and slithered across her arms. She had watched in horror as they surrounded a rose that bloomed, solitary, in a field of white, and squeezed it, draining the life out of it, leaving it sickly and twisted.
River had stayed away from the shadows after that, even though the two by two hands of blue had released it into the room where she lay. They had wanted her to play with it, but River was afraid.
What damage had been wrought when she had so innocently let it slide around, embracing her in the beauty of the night?
But now, when Simon stayed with Kaylee more and more often, when Zoe's sadness, deep as the ocean and just as wide left her sobbing in the corners, she retreated to the corners of the ship, just out of reach of the ribbons that rose to meet her whenever she went near.
They came to her in her sleep, entreating, pleading, wanting her to dance with them like she had done so many years ago. Was it years? Or months? Or days? River had trouble with time.
She tried to use the hourglass that Inara had given her, but the wood rotted and splintered in her hands. She grabbed at the sand but it slipped through her fingers, mocking her.
One day, when Jayne had mocked her, she tried to hide. But Book found her, and she ran, trying to get to Simon, seeking a safe harbor. Simon had always protected her, his mind was her retreat, where she could flit among reason and logic. In Simon, walls didn't vanish or crumble, the monsters didn't appear.
But Simon was with Kaylee, laughing as he told her a story of his days as a med student. She had hovered, unsure, but his mind had no room for her.
So River had run to the darkest part of the ship and had flung herself into the shadows, wanting to forget. She wanted to dance, if only for a little while.
The shadows had welcomed her back joyfully, wrapping themselves around her as they whispered into her ear.
River danced across the ship, puzzled that no one seemed to notice that she was trailing streamers of darkness.
She danced into the kitchen, but Jayne was the only one there. She pirouetted to him, holding out her hands. The ribbons, made of ebony and midnight, curled towards him, beckoning. They wanted him to dance too.
Jayne just frowned at her and pushed her away. The shadows hissed, angry at such treatment. River remembered the rose and tried to pull away. She didn't want to dance anymore.
But the ribbons didn't listen and they reached out, silver, sharp and cold, in their hands. The ape-man had turned, eyes wide, just like River's all those years? months? days? ago.
He had fallen and the red that trickled from him formed a rose. River smiled, surprised that something so beautiful had come from him.
The rose dissolved at her touch, turning into tendrils of red that snaked up her arm and joined the black the curled around her shoulders and neck and down her arms and legs and melded with her hair.
River ran from the kitchen, eager to show Simon. She forgot about the cold silver object in her hands.
When he saw her he yelled, and River recoiled in confusion. Simon had always loved her dances. Why didn't he like this one?
Captain Daddy had come and slowly approached, prying away the silver. River had let it go. It was to cold against the softness of the night, and besides, there were no werewolves aboard the ship.
Then people were shouting, yelling ape-man's name at her, eyes wide with fear and anger. She had tried to explain that it was the shadow's fault and besides, something beautiful was formed, but they didn't listen.
They locked her in her room, barricading the doors. River didn't mind, the shadows kept her company. When they landed planet side, Simon had let her out, though he held on to her tightly, terror pulsing through him at the sight of his sister.
River didn't care, the shadows were still her friends, they still danced with her. She wondered why they didn't like Simon though, they shied away from him.
People were gathered outside of the ship, crying and praying. There was a box, draped with white roses, in the middle. 'Jayne's gone,' everyone sobbed. River didn't understand, tried to show them the red thread that had mixed with her pretty ribbons, but no one listened. They didn't understand that he looked better in red.
She heard them after a while, the blue. It was cold, and she was afraid of it, but the shadows shoved her forward, twining sinuously around her as they whispered in her ear. She trusted them, and she went, leaving behind the people that were confused.
River saw them, standing at the edge of the forest. Two men, surrounded by blue, and a girl who was shrouded in shadow. The shadows shoved her forwards and she went.
For a second, gold seemed to unravel from the girl, to slide towards River and try to strangle the shadows. River frowned, unsure, but the gold vanished, dissolved into dust to float in the air, and she walked forwards, slipping her fingers into the girl's.
Their shadows joined together, merging and whispering and sliding through the air.
"Do you want to learn more dances?" asked the girl softly. River nodded, and her shadows formed ballerinas as they flew through the air.
Blue collided with black collided with red collided with River and she fragmented and the world went cold and hard, but still the shadows surrounded her and danced, though now there was silver too, and red, though none of it formed pretty red roses like ape-man's.