I never thought id miss home as much as I do. I watched over this place almost a millennium of my life. Its ironic, but it took me centuries just to adapt living here on earth. I laugh to myself at my memories of my first years here. Shaking the memories out of my mind. I look up, staring at the old decaying brick building, with floor to ceiling windows. Store cling-ons stickers covered half of the glass. And one neon light with a coffee mug with the word coffee underneath it. I don't know why i keep coming back to this place, its nothing special. I assume its convenient. I catch myself always sitting at the same table, in the same rusted iron chair. I lean forward and stretched my arms out in front of me taking hold of my mug. Examining it, the use to be white porcelain thats now stained by coffee throughout the years. I always order the same thing, just a simple black coffee with 2 cubes of sugar on the side. I stare down at my almost empty mug. After awhile, I hear foot steps come up beside me. And then a soft voice, "Would you like another cup, sir?". I look over at her. She was smiling down at me. Her blonde hair falling over her eyes which were a dark shade of blue. I remember when i was still an angel, i could she the true in human souls just by looking into their eyes. Now that gift have suppressed along with my faith. I greeted her with a slight smile. "No, thank you." Still looking up at her, i could tell she was nervous. Still smiling she reached into her back pocket of her faded out blue jeans. Handing me a folded up napkin. Before she turns to walk away she give me a slight wink. I laugh under my breath. Not even bothering taking time to unfold it to read. I already know its her number with a signature kiss in bright red lipstick that she always wears. Standing up too leave. I lay a tip on the table under my near empty mug. And shove the napkin in the pocket of my coat. I make my way down the sidewalk. I look around at all the faces passing me along the way. Men and woman, children going about there day like nothing could ruin it. Slowly voices start pouring in, scattering my train of thought. Its happening again. Ive gotten good at blocking out a lot of their inner thoughts. But sometimes theres the ones that just get through my barrier and spill into my mind. Sometimes in can be unbearable. I feel myself sigh. Closing my eyes I push the voices out of my mind. Focusing on my breathing I finally gain control again. When i start letting my mind wonder to much, my abilities start gaining power again. Ive keep them suppressed, and i try to forget them. Maybe one day they will go away. I look down and keep my eyes on the pavement, letting my feet take the lead. A few moments later i find myself looking up at a beautiful brownstone. The place i now call, home. Walking up the red brick stairs, i pull the key from my coat pocket, and quickly unlock the front door and walk inside. slamming the door shut behind me. I shrug off my coat and hang it by the door. I feel myself relax. This is the only place i truly feel comfortable and safe.

The inside of the brownstone was very bare, but its the way i always like it too be. To much stuff always made me feel surrounded, or claustrophobic. But I kept this place original, never wanted to change anything. Traditional oak and mahogany wood flooring. The entrance was original woodwork. The only lights throughout the place are milk glass metal pendant light fixtures hung from the heigh ceilings. So the place usually looks very dim. During the day its lite up naturally. The door ways have intricate wood details in a Lacy delicate style. Ive never been the one for change. Why change something thats beautiful? Old Tapestries take up almost all the wall space, sewn into them was beautiful images trying to tell a story. Suddenly I catch a flicker of light out of the corner of my eye from down the hall. Making my muscles stiffen i feel like I'm frozen. I quickly make my way to the hall closest were i still keep some of my old weapons. Old habits die hard. Grabbing the hilt of a sword, i slowly pull it from its sheath. It feels like a magnet in my hand. I love the way the crystal metal feels on my the skin of my palm. Sending adrenaline through my body. I quietly rise and make my way down the hall to my bare living room. Peering around the door way into the room. Finding a dark figure, sitting in a chair in front of the fireplace. The dancing flames from the fireplace was the lights i had seen. "Well hello my bother." spoke the faceless voice in a casual tone. I didn't know what to say. Feeling my grip on the sword loosen, like it could slips through my fingers at anytime. After a few moments of silent passed. The figure rose, "Azreal, Have you forgotten me?". I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No one has called me by that name since i left heaven. Make my way across the room, running my hand through my hair pushing it out of my face. Keeping my eyes on the floor. Finally words pass my lips. "No, I have not forgotten you, cassiel". Walking casually over to the fireplace. Gently laying the sword on the mantel. Gripping the mantel as if i needed it to keep my balance. I keep my back to Cassiel. Im trying hard to find the words to say to him. I have missed him. All i wanted to do was hug my brother. Sadly I couldnt bring myself to show him any emotion except for anger. "Why have you, Cassiel?" I asked him harshly. I could feel my brothers gaze as if it was burning a whole right through my back. "You could turn to face me Azreal!" he said in a demanding tone. A smile crept across my face. Thats the brother i remember, so demanding. Turning to face him. He had a wicked smile flashed across his face when he saw that i was smiling at him . "I have come to give you news, plus I wanted to see you." he stated. "There is a war coming and its going to leave this place in devastation." Not this crap again. Annoyed that this is the reason he has come to visit me. "So your telling me the world is coming to an end, in a nice way." I remarked. Playing with the cuticles of his nails he laughed, and retorted, "yes, i suppose i am." Feeling this conversation coming to an end, I turn to walk away. "Well, brother its seems that you have wasted a trip to be in my presence." Cassiel stood quickly. "No, i have not Azreal." he snapped. "You are still my brother, I've come to ask you to return home with me." Home why would i want to return to the place that i left on my own free will. "Home?" I scream. Facing him again. "Heaven was not my home, it was my cage." Feeling the anger rush through my veins. "What makes you think that i would want to return to Heaven.?" Cassiel lowered his head and sighed. "Azreal, I want to save you!" he said with sadness in his voice. "This place will not save you, it will destroy you." I feel my anger slip away now filling me with sadness. "Cassiel, if this is truly the end, than i would want to stay." I know my words hurt him, like a deep wound that refuses to heal. "Why do you condemn yourself Azreal?" Cassiel screamed at me. "Why must you be so damn stubborn and difficult?" His eyes full of hurt, and anger. "Because, i wasn't worthy, i was rebellious." My voice rising. "Only ever thought of myself. I was not a worthy angel to him, nor a son." I can feel my heart twist in knots. Making all my bad memories come back and play like scenes out of a horror movie. I close my eyes, and push them away in the deepest part of my mind. "Azreal, I know you feel like you have disappointed our father, but you have not." cassiel spoke. "You had a difficult job, and you are unique. You feel for humans. So that makes your job even more impossible. But that always made your job doable." He's right i thought to myself. I adjusted to my job. The ArchAngel of Death was never easy but it was doable. For many years it was easy for me to help human souls transition to heaven or hell. I helped there loved ones grieve for them. Remembering centuries of overwhelming human emotions crushing into me. I grab my chest like i could reach into my chest to hold my aching heart. Then I let it get to me, it had got to hard. My heart hurt for them I wanted to help, but it was against the rules. Humans were gifted with the gift of choice and decision making. I of course had rules that were to be forever enforced. Finally i look up, i could see the sadness in cassiels eyes. "Brother there is no saving me. This is the life i have chosen." i say in a low tone. "Im sorry." Turning to walk away, ready for this visit to be over. "I hope you find peace within yourself Azreal." cassiel spoke. "Be safe in your journey. When the time comes, you will return to heaven." I stopped and turned to face him. And just like he appeared, he was gone. Exhausted i make my way upstairs to the bathroom. My mind still trying to wrap around the conversation with cassiel. I have not seen him since the day i decided to leave heaven. Actually i haven't seen anyone or heard a word from any of my family. Most of them feel betrayed, but then again most do not understand my decision and reasoning. But why now, i think to myself. Why now do they care for my safety. Pulling myself from my thoughts i lean over the sink and look into the mirror. Sometimes i don't recognize the person staring back at me. I know its me but not entirely me like there are pieces of the real me missing. Running my fingers through my hair. i do miss home, but theres nothing there for me, not anymore. And id rather die here on earth, than live forever hating myself in heaven. Walking over to the shower to turn on the hot water. Letting the water run long enough to fill the room with steam. Grabbing the hem of my tee shirt i pull it over my head, tossing it to the floor. I stare down at the light scars that decorated my body from the years of battles and wars. Remembering every memory that is attached to every scar. My eyes staring at the center of my chest. The scar that held more memories than the rest. Touching the burn scar lightly, remembering what it use to be. It use to be a rune, my holy insignia, but it burned away when i left and descended from heaven. The steam from the shower reminding me how tired I was. Quickly stepping in to the inviting shower. Letting the hot water rush over my skin, making my muscles tense and then relax. Vapors soaking into my flesh and washing my day down the drain. Water running down parts of my back were my wings use to be. Now scars take there place. Quickly washing, i cut the water off and step out of the shower. Steam rolling off my skin, like i had just stepped through a fire, and walked out, unharmed. Drying off, i wrap the towel around the base of my hips. Making my way down the hall. Feeling the cold wood underneath my feet, sent chills up my spine. I like the way the cool air felt on my skin after a hot shower. Making my skin prickle with a wave of temperatures. Slipping on some grey sweat pants. I fall into my bed. The feeling of exhaustion creeping up on me, urging me to close my eyes. I can resist, i can feel the darkness consume me.

The light was so bright it stung my eyes. Putting my hands up to my face blocking most of the light. Allowing my eye time to adjust, I finally look up. The sky looked as if it was on fire. Orange, red, and yellow blending together, looking like it was painted. Pulling my attention away from the sky. I cant believe the horrors that my eyes are seeing. Buildings burning, trees turning to ash, people screaming and running for there lives. I try to move to run to help them. My feet wont move, frozen to the ground. My heart aching, I feel useless. Finally i drop to my knees. The scenery around me starts to fade and morph into something so different, a nightmare. Thunder and lighting, over taking the sky. The bright painted sky is gone, leaving grey and black in its place. Looking around, everything was dark. Lighting up every so often, when the lightning strikes across the dark sky. Then a bright lights appears in front of me. I light i know all to well. Its the entrance to heaven. It was beautiful. When i use to collect humans souls this is what they had seen. Suddenly pulled out of my thoughts. Two dark figures coming out of the smoke that polluted the air. Looking closer, they were leading someone to the heavens entrance. Focusing i could see they wasn't leading someone. They were forcing a prisoner. Oddly the person was not fighting back or attempting to escape. In a blink of an eye I was closer, seeing everything clearer. Their prisoner was a young woman. She was now bound by shackles and chains. Symbols were carved into the dark metal of the chains. Symbols i didnt recognize. She had long dark brown hair curing away from her face, falling over her shoulders. Her face was set and brave. Piercing deep green eyes, so green it looked as if she had emerald gems hidden within them. She was undeniably beautiful. Even with the blood and dirt covered her. Blood stained jeans, a long sleeve shirt underneath a plate of armor. The bright armor had a symbol carved into, it looked familiar but i couldn't remember where i had seen it before. It wrapped around her chest to her back. All of a sudden she was being forced down. Making her knees buckling underneath her. Forcing her to kneel. A smile flashed across her face, and she started laughing. Soon after a dark figure emerges from the darkness. Making his way to stand in front of her. She tries to stand but her chains force her down. She looks up at the figure. "Killing me on my knees, will not get you what you want, Lucifer." she spoke. I look down at the ground as my heart sinks, what would Lucifer need with a human, and why in front of the gates. Questions start overtaking my mind. "You know why Lydia." Lucifers voice firm. "Don't play dumb child." He smiles down at his prisoner. "Dumb, is what you are in this point in time. If you really think they will open the gates to let you back in for my life. Im not that important." She laughed. Lucifer smile was gone. He took a blade from his belt. Mocking lucifer more she smiled at him. With no fear in her eyes. She knew what was going to happen. She welcomed her death as if it was inevitable. For a moment she reminded me of myself. I cant let this happen. Attempting to rise to my feet to run to her, But an invisible force held me in place. I have to save her. No one should die this way. I try to crawl against the force keeping me in place. Pushing and clawing at the ground in front of me, but there was no hope. I stare in horror at the scene unfolding before my eyes. Lucifer kneeling gracefully in front of her. Cupping her cheek, then with one quick motion he slid the blade underneath the bottom of her armor. Her facial expression never changed. She accepted death, she never feared it. Pulling the dagger from her side, allowing it drop to the ground. Lucifer cupped the back of her neck letting her collapse against him. "I told you, they will never let you come back even with my sacrifice." She said, before her eyes closed, and her heart stopped. Lucifer held her up against him. There for a moment i thought i heard him cry. But the lucifer i know doesn't cry. He slowly arose, cradling her body in his arms. He walk away from the entrance to heaven back into the shadows with his henchmen and the girl. Suddenly everything goes black. I find myself free falling in empty space.

I jerk up drenched in sweat. Im in my bed, in my room. It was a dream, i remind myself. There was no way this was a dream i thought. I could remember everything perfectly clear.

I keep replaying the scenes over and over again in my head. Then my mind wanders back to my visit from Cassiel. He spoke of a war and the devastation it will bring. Which is most likely what i seen in the beginning of my dream. Hell is rising and lucifer is attempting to get back into heaven. Shaking my head at the thought of lucifer reining in heaven. That would be just great a psychopath angel running heaven, i mused. And what of this girl. Something was off about the whole situation. I run my hands through my hair pushing my hair from my eyes. I glance over at the clock. 3:38 A.M. This i am sure of, that this wasn't a dream, this was a warning. Closing my eyes to attempt to get some sleep, But hypnagogia takes over my mind. I keep thinking of her face, she died for a reason of her own. So no matter whats happens i have to stop this, even if I cannot save her. I can feel myself slipping. Then everything fades and sleep engulfs my mind. A couple hours later I wake before my alarm. I throw on a pair of jeans and a white tee. Almost running down the stairs, still going over and over the dream in my head. I reach the front door, slipping on my shoes, slipping my favorite black leather jackets on. Reaching for the door knob, and without warning it hits me. My ears ringing like a gun shot went off near my head. I close my eyes tight, letting my head fall into my hands. My skull feels like its full of pressure, as if it could explode. I hear it, almost like its a distant chatter. Angels arguing amongst one another. Someone has tapped me into their conversation. I can barely understand them, too many of them speaking at once. I try to concentrate to attempt to understand what there saying. A few voices i recognize, my brother and sisters. Something is very wrong, they never argue. Well not like this, screaming at one another. "QUIET," rises a voice. Now i can hear. I sit in front of the door leaning against it. Trying to pay close attention, i was tapped in for a reason. "Cassiel, this is not our fight. We will not aid the humans in this war." spoke a voice i didn't recognize. I feel myself smile. So thats why I can hear this conversation, my brother as made me into a little eavesdropper. I can almost bet, that Cassiel is smiling at my remark. "My brothers and sisters, the humans can not win a war of this magnitude. They will be slaughtered by the millions. Are you really going to let them die, for one of heavens decisions?" Cassiel said. I hear whispers. "Cassiel i agree with you but this is not about us. And it is not our decision to make." spoke a familiar voice. It took me a minute to put a face to the stern voice that just spoke through my mind. "Ragual," i say to myself. He is one of the seven archangels. Responsible for justice, fairness, harmony, and vengeance among humans. Its not to my surprise that he be present at this meeting. He does gods will. In better words he enforces gods rules. "What about the girl?" spoke a quiet but concerning voice. A women's voice, that i did not recognize either. "Shes better off dead!" Sammael said. I knew it was him a soon as he started talking. Sammael as always been that way, very unsympathetic i suppose. "Don't you ever speak of her death, like its meaningless Sammael." Her voice was no longer quiet. "This was never meant to happen I was promised her safety when i sent her to earth." She lowered her voice. "She has no memories of any kind. No recollection of who she really is. Now she is in danger." Everything went quit for a moment. So suddenly I thought i lost my connection. "Kol, I understand this is hard for you, But we must make sacrifices for the greater good." Sammael spoke with sadness in his tone. I heard her laugh under her breath. "I have sacrificed enough. She was my gift and i had to let her go. Thats my daughter, and now your asking me to sit back and watch her be sacrificed by our brother?" she said. "Our brother was a fool. He was consumed by jealousy. High on his pride." an angry voice interrupted. "We lost almost half of our brothers and sister because lucifer corrupted them. And now your worried about your daughter." He paused. "Lucifer has plans for your daughter. Do you honestly think she will remain good when he gets his claws into her." He snapped. "Bartholomew, hold your tongue." Cassiel rises his voice. "We are not at war with one another. This is exactly what he wants. For us to fall to pieces and render ourselves weak." His voice was calm. "Enough talk about the girl, her fate has not been decided yet." He finished. "We will meet again later, obviously our own personal judgement hinders us for further discussion." After that my connection was lost. I pull my head from my hands, letting my head fall against the door. It's been so long since I was in heaven, that now all the events unfolding in front of me leaving me confused and questioning everything I ever knew.