Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic...If I DID own the characters, I'd have Charlie all to myself! And Neil would still be alive...and Charlie would be mine...and Mr. Keating would still have his job...and Charlie would be mine...and Chet Danbury would have his but kicked by Knox...and Charlie would be mine...and it would have been Cameron that would have been expelled...and Charlie would be mine...and Todd would have a back bone...and did I mention Charlie would be mine? I did? Oh...Okay! Well then. It's settled. Charlie would be mine if I owned the characters.

HOWEVER...I have this affinity for Todd Anderson and decided to every once in a while write a drabble from his 'journal'. Of course they'll be short. I sort of think these would be the words he'd write if he kept a journal. Hope you all enjoy!

Who knows what parents think sometimes? Or if they even think at all. I sat in a walkway, staring at the gift that taunted me. I guess I got too wrapped up in things becasue I didn't hear Neil approach me.

He asked what was going on and I told him it was my birthday. "Today's your birthday?" I nodded. "Happy birthday."

I murmured. "Thanks."

"What you get?" He looked at it.

I didn't want to look. I knew…but, I nodded over to it. "My parents got me this."

He noted it was the same desk set I already have. My parents had this habit of repeating gifts. Well, at least in my case they did. When I was about five, Howdy Doody was the big thing. I loved Howdy Doody. So, in 1948 for my 6th birthday, I got a Howdy Doody marionette. But in 1949, for my 7th birthday, I got another Howdy Doody marionette.

So, to me, to get the same gift for two birthdays in a row wasn't anything new. Neil, being an only child, didn't know what it felt like. "Maybe they thought you needed another one." He laughed and I knew he was trying to make me feel better.

"Maybe they weren't thinking." I sighed. I remembered how they never replicated a gift for Jeffery. I wanted to express this sentiment, but there was no one that could understand. For my previous birthdays, my parents bought me Frank Sinatra. Not that I minded. I like the music he sings…but still…they got me the same record I already had.

One can only be excited so many times over getting a baseball and glove. But, it's just my position in life. The ignored…rarely thought about…second child.

Neil smiled. I looked up at him, just knowing that he was thinking…going to try to make me smile. "Todd, I think you're underestimating the value of this desk set." He examines it. Now I know he's up to something. He asks me who would want a football or a baseball and I interject "A car." He nods. "Or a car when they can have a desk set as wonderful as this one."

Now I know Neil's trying to make me feel better.

He continues to examine the desk set. He looks at me and smiles. "This desk set wants to fly." He hands it to me. "Todd. The world's first unmanned flying desk set." He and I laugh as I toss it, watching it fall to the ground. He looks at me, laughter still present and tells me he wouldn't worry. He's sure I'll get another one next year.

How does he do it? How does Neil Perry take the worst day of your life and turn it into something you'll never forget? A part of me hopes for a desk set again next year so I can toss it again. Make an experiment of it. How far can a desk set fly before it needs a pilot?

If Neil intended to make me smile yesterday, he did. Like with Mr. Keating, I felt like someone cared about me and I mattered. I wasn't this annoyance. I was someone. A person.

I still feel it today. Neil and I went down to clean up the desk set and we laughed about it and recalled last night. I want to say "Thanks" but I don't know how. I only hope that he knows how much it meant for me to feel like I was a person.