Welcome to the inner sanctum.

Please be seated and we shall commense worship of the cheese.

We shall begin communion of the spirit. Please approach the steps and kneel.

Body of Gouda, Blood of Grapes. Body of Milk, Blood of Grapes.

Celebrate in the joy of the cheese, let it enrich your soul.

Mission Statement

We, the Keepers of the Cheese, shall worship and be one with all cheeses, hard or soft.

We shall view all cheeses as equal, and never judge them for their physical appearance.

We will enjoy the flavors that cheeses give to us, they are gifts.

We shall eat cheese in many forms, melted or cold, alone or with food, as spread or block, and even sliced.

We each shall protect the cheese and understand its sacredness.

We shall battle against the evil cheese until it is wiped out.

The Origin of Cheese

Cheese was brought forth to us as a gift by the Ancient Ones. Long ago, a great people came to us and showed us the awesome cheese. We were grateful for the mysterious offering, and a specially chosen few were gathered to learn the art of cheese making. Others were picked for their loyalty and desire to protect the sacred legacy, they became the first Keepers of the Cheese.
Today, many take cheese for granted, some have even made the magical art of cheese-making a "science." Others believe it to be evil or have made strange stories surrounding its majesty. They saw to beware of the cheese, as if it would somehow hurt anyone. Know that real cheese is not in anyway evil or dangerous, and no one can truly become werecheeses as many believe. Real cheese is made by the apprentices of an ancient group, the Sacred order of the Makers of Cheese. These great priests were given the spells to create the magnificent cheese, and must study for years before being allowed to share with others the cheese they make.
Sometimes, one of us (the devout and humble priests of SOKC or SOCK) may be fortunate enough and is chosen to be a student to one day become a Cheese Maker. Of course, those priests then become bishops or higher of the great order. For now, the members of our order must protect the real cheese and fight against the evil cheese. Once, in our recent history, a few Cheese Makers strayed from the flock and used their knowledge and strange magic to change the spells. Thus we have such things as Cheez Whiz and Easy Cheese. Daily we battle these possesed priests, but soon we will prevail. We have faith in the cheese.