Only real friends fight.
I said that when Yamato and Taichi were fighting on the bus that day.*
I guess, this is true for us too, right? I wish I could say that that's been happening since I came back, but that would be a lie. We've always fought each other. Actually, it was more like I fought with you. You just watched, lost.
You frustrated me, back then. When we were ten.
You frustrates me now, while we are sixteen.
It's almost like we speak two different languages and comes from two different worlds even thought we're both from Japan and we're both speaking Japanese.
Maybe somethings, the important things, gets lost in translation.
Because I know you.
And you know me.
And we both know that we are more, so much more, than an insensitive guy and an egoistical girl.
Yet, that was what we called each other.
I thought that we understood each other better now. After everything that we've been through and after all those years of friendship. But, then again, I still think that we do. How else would you explain the 'no need to apologize' politic between us? It was like you've never called me egoistical* that day and it was like I never called you insensitive* on the other.
But you did call me that. And it did hurt. Not because it was you who told me that, I am actually grateful that it was you, but because it was true. At the time, I was surprised because, as I said, you have never stood up against me like that before. I was so surprised that I forgot, for a moment, that you didn't mean to hurt me or attack me. You saw something that I did wrong and you saw something that I need to do to be better and you told me. Right to my face.
I am kinda glad that you feel close enough to me to be this open, this direct. Six years ago, you wouldn't.
Good intentions are not always enough and, sometimes, I have to think a little more before I do something that will not affect only me. And I should take others opinions in consideration as well after all, my point of view in only mine and it's always gonna be incomplete. I understand this now. Thanks to you.
As a friend, it's your duty to call me out when I am wrong. If you don't, nobody will. So it's my duty, as well, to do the same to you. Of course, we should probably try to do it without arguing with each other while at it, but, as you may already know, it don't always go according to plan. Like when I called you insensitive.
That was kind of insensitive of me, but I don't regret it. Because, honestly, Koushiro-kun, you have to improve your tact with some things. You can't just discard someone's feelings after a traumatic experience like that. You just can't! You have to think a little, and not with the rational part of you brain (although that rational part should be the one preventing you from doing that, but, I guess, your brain is just weird like that).
But I could have been a little more understanding on your side too. It's just that, sometimes, what you're really trying to say gets lost in translation and I just hear what you actually says. Like, I know that behind your insensitivity towards Meimei there was a lot of stress, confusion, desperation and fear.
I didn't knew, back then, what I do now.
That we were fighting against time and that there was so, so much at risk.
I didn't knew. If I did...I don't know what I would have done.
I am sorry, Koushiro-Kun.
Not for calling you out when I tough that you were wrong, but for letting you carry this huge burden on your own. We've always depended so much on you and your knowledge. I don't think I really understand what not knowing means to you. Actually, maybe I don't really know you as well as I thought that I did. Maybe that's why the things that you say or do keeps getting lost in these translations that I try to make.
Seeing you work like this. Trying to find a way for us to go back to the digital world. I think that this is the first time that I see you behind your computer and really understand and appreciate how important it is for you, for me, and for us that you dedicate yourself so much to this that everything else comes second to you. I still wish that you would take better care of yourself, tough. And I still wish that I could talk to you now, about your feelings. For some reason, as I see you like this, I am reminded of that little boy who went to fourth grade with me and was carrying his pineapple lap top with him to our summer camp. My friends laughed at you back them, but I didn't.*
Because I didn't found it funny, I found it lonely. I still do. But you are in your world now. And I am entering it while cleaning your office and bringing you your favorite tea.* It may not be enough for me, but I know that, for you, it is.
You are one of my most dearest friends, Koushiro-Kun. I don't know if you realize this. Even if we misunderstand each other sometimes and even if your mind works in a different way than mine, you're still someone that I hold very dear to my heart. And even if, sometimes, I'm pissed at you, I will always admire how honest, curious, smart, loyal, strong and brave you are.
I hope that, one day, I have the chance to say this to you. I don't think you know how amazing you are. And I am sorry that you lost the one being that could tell you that. But honestly, Koushiro, if in nothing else, I trust in you. I know that you'll find a solution for this because you always, always, does. This is just another labyrinth for you to solve.*
We'll probably fight again some times. You still have a lot to work on with your social skills. But it's ok, I'll help you with it as long as you keep my egoistical side in check, alright? We may not always like it, but I'm sure you appreciates it as much as I do. To have someone care enough to push you to be better.
I'm going to leave you now, tough I don't really want to. I still think you should rest a little. And probably eat something better than what you've been eating. Maybe I'll cook you something and bring it latter.
See you.
~~/~~
* Digimon Adventure Tri - Determination.
* Digimon Adventure Tri - Determination.
* Digimon Adventure Tri - Confession
* Digimon Adventure - Light Novels
* Digimon Adventure - Confession
* Digimon Adventure 01 - episode 10.
Those are the references that I used to make this oneshot. As you can tell (I hope), this scene is set on the moment that Mimi goes to Koushiro's office to clean up and brings his tea. At that scene she looks at him, as if worried for him. So I wrote what I think it could be on her mind while also touching on the fights that they had.
Honestly, Koumi is my favorite ship besides patagato. And I don't agree with what some people are trying to make this ship be; abusive. It's NOT abusive. They're open with each other. And friends fight. Mimi says so herself on the same movie that she fights with Koushiro. And again on this movie she says to Mei that she prefers people who says what they are thinking/feeling than those who guards it and fake something. And guess what? Koushiro does exactly as she told she prefer. And that's why they don't need to apologize to each other after the fight. Because they know each other and they know that what was said was for their own good, and not meant to hurt or anything like that. Mimi admits to Joe that she realized that she was acting a little egoistical in a few ways. And it's great that she realizes it so she can change and be a better person. As well with Mimi calling Koushiro out on his insensitivity. Because, although he's got better at the whole feeling and social thing, he still has a way to go. And no one's better to teach that to him than she is. They balance each other great. As they did in the original series.
And that's it for my little rant xD
Hope you like it.
Please leave a review.
And I apologize for any grammatical mistake. English is not my first language. I don't mind if you point these mistakes for me, it's actually helpful if you do, just be kind.
xoxo