A Once, when I was just a little boy I asked my dad why he had taken a part on World War I.
I can perfectly remember of always ask myself why someone would like to be a part of such an act of villainy and inhumanity further the patriarch of my home, an kind sir, who doesn't looks like be capable of doing wrong, even for a fly on the wall. The image of my dad killing someone just wasn't welcome in my mind, and then my change of get some answers about his reasons finally come.
It was raining, no, it wasn't rain, it was an deluge on that freezing night of January. There was rays and thunders all around, and they are so high, bright and scary that looks like God wanted to destroy his creation, the strong wind made all the windows knock. On days like this, I saw every kind of color. At last, always those who make me tremble, and my dad usually try distract me whit all sorts of things.
On this moment we are bot set on the living room, there was no radio working, so he was telling me how his left leg hurt when the time changes which was courtesy of German bullet lodged in her, and then I realized that this was my chance.
-Dad? I called.
-Yes, Alfred?
-Why did you took a part on the war? He looked at me astonished; I remember perfectly how his expression slowly changed from the utter amazement, to a sweet laugh, which made wrinkles acquired by age to accentuate his eyes.
-Who Knows? I was young, and impulsive. I saw everything that the Germany was making whit the Europe, and perhaps I was just afraid of all that destruction would fall on my country. However, you Alfred are not the first one who ask me this.
-No?
-No. In addition, even though my memory not being good as yours, I can remember exactly what I answered to the young man. My eyes lit, but I didn't had a chance to ask more, because on that moment a thunder stronger than others fell. Everything around me becomes red, I covered my ears, put my feeds up on the couch, and star to tremble whit fear. My father rose from the chair where he sat and stood in front of me. With great difficulty, he knelt and stood my size, I turned my face whit shame for be so chicken-hearted.
-Alfred my boy, look at me. I shook my head no. –Alfred, don't you wat to know what I said to the man? I shook my head yes. –Look at me so. I did.
-W- What did you said? I asked still shaky. He smiled down on me.
- ''I would rather die standing than to live kneeling''.
-I don't understand.
-But you will. Someday, you will. He said stroking my hair, and another thunder fell, this time he hugged me. –It's ok, everything is going to be okay. He said.
-No. It's not, I am an anomaly, and always will be, nothing will ever be fine to me.
-Who told you those kind of things?
-Mom, before she leaves. Why me, dad? Why me? I asked sobbing. –Why I had to be like that? On this moment the cold tears started to fell from my eyes, like the raindrops that fall from clouds to the ground, when I cry, everything becomes yellow like an amber. –A-All the other boys are so braves, they do everything that I can't. Why can't I be normal papa? On this moment, the cry becomes higher.
-It's ok my soon, it's ok, everything will be fine. I shook my head yes, but in the end I knew that nothing is going to get better, nothing at all.
…
It makes so many years… But for someone like me it is as if it had just happened, and after that day, I keeps wanting be normal, and forgot things that hurt me.
Then I knew those people, that friendly, Lovely, and Sweet people, my memory helped them, I started to like how does it taste, be important to someone. It was a real pleasure to help those who from depth of my heart I dear and love.
I looked around, it was all silent, but far off being blue, ''I shouldn't be on this cell'' I thought. It's dawn, at last, I think it is, judging by the light from the skylight.
So set on the only mobile that little space surrounded by metal bars had to offer I lowered my head, and I felt the tears fall as she moaned softly.
I should be death, not here, I am scary, but after all I can say that on this moment I realized what my father tried to say to me long time ago, yes, I finally get it. I usually to be a chicken-hearted, who can't even hear a noise without wanting to run away, but it's different no, I've finally found something to fight for, something that I live and die, if necessarily. I've found love, not only the common kind of love that has been popularized over the centuries by poets and musicians, but the pure love for something, bigger than any person could come to be. The kind of love which makes you wake up every morning, remain standing, however bad the situation can be.
Love for my country, for my friends, for life, and even for people that I don't even know yet, I love this feeling which keeps me strong, even when I was being tortured by the Germanys, he makes me resist. Is this blind loyalty for the things that I believe from depth of my soul that keeps me alive, day after day, is for this feeling that I pray every night, it remember me that I am steal alive. And is for this that I choose fight, even if it means my death, I won't give up, just like Churchill I will never surrender.
I WILL FIGHT!