Title: The Hard Way

Author: elfluvr

Summary: She nestled her ear against his chest, above his heart. He was sure she could hear every emotion he had buried there. Part of the series of Bounce, Chanel No. 5 and Sexual Kinetics.

Disclaimer: Thanks Dick Wolf, René Balcer, Vincent D'Onofrio and Kathryn Erbe – it's been fun. I've hurt no one, made no money, and put everyone back where I found them.

Archive: Fanfiction - anywhere else, just ask

Feedback: Please! It's always welcome

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A/N – This is probably SO not Alex Eames, but too bad. My story … I get to push them around any way I want. And René, it wouldn't hurt for you to show a little of Alex Eames' sensitive, more personal side every once in a while … especially since VDO's portrayal of Bobby Goren has gone so flat this season. There – I've said it. Sue me. On with Chapter 1 of 3.

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Chapter 1 – The Hard Way

"It's this way, detectives."

The uniform cop led Detectives Goren and Eames deeper into the third floor SoHo apartment. 'They must have lowered the age requirements at the Academy,' Goren speculated. The kid looked about nineteen. Or maybe it was just his view from the high side of forty.

As they approached the body sprawled on the bedroom floor, Goren took in the entire scene. Blood, bone and brain matter splattered against the far wall. Fit-looking guy, mid-forties at most, dressed only in boxer shorts. Only the victim's right profile was visible – the left side of his head lay in a pool of blood. His right hand still clutched the .44 caliber handgun that had apparently caused the rather large hole in his temple.

Crouching next to the body, Goren examined the stippling around the wound and thought it was consistent with a point-blank range gunshot. "What makes anyone think this isn't just a … a suicide?" he asked the young cop.

"Neighbors report hearing loud arguing just before the shot."

"Well … even with another person in the room he …" Goren reached out to grasp the victim's chin and turn his head, "could have been the one to pull the trigger." Once lifted out of the bloody pool, they could see that most of the left side of his face was missing.

"It wasn't suicide …" Eames spoke quietly from the doorway.

"What makes you …" Goren glanced up at his partner and the words froze in this throat. Eames looked as if all the blood had drained from her face – her eyes were dark and wide. He frowned. They'd seen bodies in much worse condition than this. She wasn't all that squeamish.

"He's left-handed," her voice was tight with emotion, strangled.

Goren's frown deepened. "Eames?"

She swayed a bit on her feet and for a moment he thought she was going to faint. "I know him," she breathed then turned and pushed her way past the uniforms to head out of the apartment.

Stunned, Goren debated what to do. He should stay and finish examining the victim and the scene, but he was worried about Eames – he'd never seen her like this. And if she really knew the guy ...

Standing and snapping off the latex gloves, he cautioned the young cop, "Don't let anyone in here and don't … touch anything," he waved his hand to indicate the entire room then headed out to find his partner.

She'd gone as far as the street outside the building and was frantically pacing the sidewalk.

"Eames," Goren called out to her. She spared him no more than a quick glance, but in that moment he saw her eyes were wild and glittering. Breathing as if she'd just run a mile, she was convulsively clenching and unclenching her fists. Eames couldn't stand still.

"Bobby, I …" she struggled for air.

"You know him." He had to get her mind focused on the facts. If she could do that – put aside the emotion – she might calm down.

"Yes! We … dated," her speech was punctuated by short breaths.

"When?"

"It's been … almost a year." Five steps, turn, repeat.

"You didn't recognize the address," he found himself stepping from side to side, trying to hold her attention. "You … you've never been to his place before?" Come on Eames, you can do this.

"I .. yes …" she gasped. "This isn't … where he lived." Eames was getting more agitated instead of less, on the verge of hyperventilating. The push of adrenaline she'd experienced hadn't let go yet. "Bobby, I can't … stop shaking."

She was going to break, and he wasn't about to let anyone witness it. "Come on," he gripped her elbow and led her to a grocer's alley between the two buildings.

"What's … wrong with me?" she choked back a sob, fighting for control. "I can't stop …"

"I-it's a … panic reaction, caused by adrenaline." He took his jacket off and stepped close to her so he could drape it around her shoulders. As he pulled the lapels tight in front of her, the floodgates broke and Alex started sobbing uncontrollably. Bobby wrapped his arms around her and cradled her against his body. Rubbing her back to soothe her, he crooned comforting words … nothing more than 'It'll be all right,' and 'You're okay,' but it was all he had to offer.

Warm in his arms with her face buried against his chest, Bobby felt guilty for enjoying the contact.

It didn't take long for her trembling to subside and her sobs to turn into hiccups. Alex took a deep, shaky breath and for a moment she nestled her ear against his chest, above his heart. He was sure she could hear every emotion he had buried there. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he stole secret breaths of the scent he'd come to love.

Too soon he felt her pulling away. Alex brought her hands up to her cheeks to wipe away the tears that hadn't made it to his shirt. "I'm so embarrassed," she whispered.

Bobby laid his hand along her jaw and tipped her face up so she would meet his eyes. "You have no reason to be embarrassed," he said quietly. Her eyes welled up again at his gentle words and Bobby was about to pull her back into his arms …

"Detectives?" the young cop called into the alley.

Alex jerked from his touch and quickly stepped away from him.

"The photographers want to know if you still need them …?" the cop asked hesitantly.

"Tell them they don't leave 'till I say so!" Goren snapped. The poor kid visibly jumped before hightailing it out of the alley. "All the time we've ever wasted waiting for them …" Goren grumbled.

Alex started laughing.

He spun around to face her, worried that she was now getting hysterical.

"Did you see him jump?" she gasped with laughter and again wiped tears from her face. Maybe she was on the edge of hysteria, but not out of control.

Bobby smiled at her. He couldn't help it – he found her laugh contagious.

But as her laughter slowly died, his smile went with it. Alex closed her eyes and brought the back of her hand up to her forehead, her fingers still trembling.

"Eames," Goren dipped his head to try and catch her eye. "We'll talk more about this … back at the squad." He wanted to give her time to recover. "For now, why don't you … question the landlord. And see if you can find out anything from the … those neighbors who heard the argument. I'll get the kid to take notes."

Finally meeting his eye, he saw a bit of her usual resolve and stubbornness. She gave him a wan smile. "He's in for a fun time."

TBC …