Disclaimer: Don't own, but, hey, I don't mind. The series would only be one long episode if I did. Enjoy what you don't have to be responsible for.
Febuaray Cullen's Bullpen: Desire.
A/N: Back! Yay! It's strange, I disappear for a couple of months and all my stats shoot up. Thanks to everyone who bothers to read my stories, I appriciate it. This isn't my best fic, but I'm working my way back to what I had before. And the title and beta-ing of this story came from my beta Questionablelight. Her explination of the title made sense to me so I kept it.
All I felt was the desire to catch as many killers as I had killed. It seemed a fair trade for my time as a sniper during the war. If I could save lives by helping the FBI, I would do it.
Everyday I got up, and a prayed for forgiveness, a salvation of my soul for then going to work feeling guilty that I was looking forward to a new case. A case for which, I knew, more innocent people would've been killed for.
When I caught the murdering bastard, I'd go home and add another tally mark to the side of notebook paper labeled 'Caught'. The other side had fifty tally marks on it; I added one more after Epps. Better safe than sorry.
I just wanted to help someone.
My desire led to me meeting Dr. Temperance Brennan. This woman, with an extraordinary yearning to find the truth, captured my interest.
Suddenly, I had to work with her. Had to find out when she would be back from Guatamala so I could stage a rescue. In my defense, there was also a case demanding immediate attention, ending with catching the senator's assistant.
It was at the funeral when she walked away, I couldn't let her do it.
Something inside of me broke, and I followed her like a lost puppy. I told her my goal.
She chuckled then, asking me if I believed in some sort of cosmic balance sheet. I remember I had frozen, how could she understand? Bones had never killed someone, never felt the guilt.
"I'd like to help you with that."
She'll never know how those words sparked another desire. That all I wanted to do was solve cases with her. I had to save her life to continue being selfish. Kenton and the Gravedigger almost took my partner and friend away from me.
I could never let that happen.
Yet, I wish I desired for something less complicated, like a nice house, or a trip to France. Unfortunately, I had to pick the most difficult thing not to mention the most difficult person in the world. A combination of both is almost impossible to achieve, I understand that. Still; it'd be nice though…
I admit that shooting a clown wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. And going to therapy isn't as easy as I thought. But when I saw Sullivan step in and take my place so effortlessly, even I began to believe he belonged with them. I realized then he might take all that I desire away.
He can take away my partner, and my cases.
I'd do anything to keep working with her. I'd give anything to keep her safe. Nothing can stop this damn desire.
I'll get her back, even if I have to buy a flashier tie.