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Life Unexpected
1: Sakura's Plot

Sakura is likely the sweetest scary person I have ever known. She's very controlling and keeps a good grip on everything in her life, even my... well... you know. How that came about is sort of... odd. I thought that it would be okay when we first started sleeping together. It's not like I can't get anyone else though. There are plenty of opportunities all around me—it seems like girls are throwing themselves at me left and right sometimes—but I never really preferred doing that sort of thing with a lot of different people I hardly knew. Because of that, I often found myself sleeping only with friends or people I'd become moderately acquainted with first. I didn't mind having more than one partner, as long as they were someone I knew and trusted. But, somehow, I ended up convincing myself to only sleep with Sakura. Actually, no. Sleep is too personal. I, somehow, convinced myself to pretend I was sleeping with Sakura. In reality, I'm only fucking her and I'm not really enjoying it either.

I also, somehow, managed to completely ignore the fact that she actually likes me. Now, that's a feat, since it's almost impossible to miss when she's always looking at me with puddles of goo in her eyes. But I just pawn it off as a friendly stare, even when I know it's not that simple. I guess I like to keep myself in denial and avoid the situation, even though it's become a huge problem now. But I tell myself that we're only fucking, right? And she knows that... right?

Well, regardless, I keep fucking her, letting her stay the night to cuddle me, and acting like I sort of even like it because I actually want to keep up this fake, secret relationship that we have going, as deranged as it is.

Ah, there's a key word. Secret. I keep trying to tell her to be more careful and make sure that she's keeping us a secret, but she just keeps telling me that she doesn't care if everyone knows. Damn Sakura. She needs to get herself together. This may all seem really harsh and insensitive to her feelings, but don't get me wrong. We're friends and I love her and I really care about her, but she just keeps giving me those googly eyes when everyone is right there all around us and staring. I mean, this is my life we're talking about here! Couldn't she stand to be a little less obvious about things? But no matter how much I try and remind her how important the secrecy is, she just doesn't care. I actually do care though... or maybe I don't.

Maybe I don't always mind when she sits too close or whispers something seductive in my ear. Maybe I don't mind when I see everyone staring at us. Maybe I don't mind because I actually want him to see us too. Maybe I want to see him react. Maybe I want— No! What am I saying? He will never react the way that I want him to. He never does. And that's why maintaining this secret relationship, fucked up as it is for both me and Sakura, is so important to me.

My "relationship" with Sakura is just as much of a fantasy for me as it is for her, except... for me, it has nothing to do with her. I spend my time pretending that maybe he would accidentally find out about us, and then he'd be jealous. Maybe he would even resent Sakura for taking me away from him. And then he would scheme in that awful way that those Uchihas scheme and find the perfect (and probably most torturous) way to get me away from her and keep me all to himself. I fantasize about him finding out about Sakura and I—as if everyone doesn't already know anyway, but whatever—and that he'd actually want me, that he'd want me the same way that I so desperately want him. Maybe he'd even be compelled to say he loved me. If only he loved me... but he doesn't, and that's why Sakura is so important.

He doesn't love me the way that I love him. We've been friends way too long for that. As long as I'm pretending to enjoy Sakura, though, I can pretend that he's secretly brooding over me. Well, he actually is always brooding, just not over me. I guess I should reword that. I can pretend he'spining over me. Keeping up this relationship with Sakura, though, lets me have him in my fantasies. And in my fantasies, I can have him in many, many ways... if you know what I mean.

It's not like I absolutely hate sex with Sakura. That's not it at all. The sex is good, great even sometimes. It's just that my heart isn't in it, and that makes it worse than it really is. Once you get monogomous with someone, there's just no escaping that ever-approaching moment when a physical connection just isn't enough anymore. You want more, need more, and fucking just doens't cut it any longer. The only reason the sex still even is good is because I imagine him there instead of Sakura.

At first, she helped me relieve my frustrations. I think what must have driven me to become monogomous with her in the first place what that I didn't like the idea of sleeping around anymore, even if I was never really a whore about it to begin with. I just... I guess I felt like being with one, single person would keep from feeling like an infidel. I mean, I know there are so many things wrong with that train of thought, but it doesn't really make a difference what I think. What I feel is what's driving me, and I felt mad crazy with lust when I first figured out my real feelings. And I also felt like I couldn't just sleep with whoever anymore, so I settled on Sakura for some reason. Maybe it was because she was one of the only ones who cared about me on more than just a friendly level. She would shower me with affection that my other fuck buddies just never really showed me, not that I ever minded that before.

But once she stopped being able to divert my desires away from him and onto herself, the sex became ridiculously mundane and unappealing. So, yeah, the sex was pretty fucking great between us at first, but that was when it was still between us. It stopped being between us, though, and then it was between me and an imagined version of him. But I won't ever admit that to Sakura. It'd break her heart and, in turn, take away my much-needed fantasies. I mean, hoenstly, acting them out—in my head, of course, since I'll never actaually admit them to Sakura—is pretty much the only thing that keeps me from getting extremely frustrated and just fucking everything on two feet.

I just keep letting Sakura think that it's her I still make love to, even though I never actually made love to her in the first place and I still don't now. It's him. He's the one I'm with in my dreams, and he's the one I imagine when I'm fucking Sakura in reality. It's always been him, and it might always be. It's those deep, dark eyes that I imagine burning into me. I think about how silky and mesmerizing his voice would be, how enticing his pillow talk would sound as it was whispered gently against my ear. I imagine how thrilling it would be if I could feel the contours of his perfectly toned body or taste the flavor of his skin instead of having to indulge in the woman before me. And imagining all that puts me in a mood that Sakura could never induce, and it's his face that I think of when I'm about to lose myself completely. I imagine how hard my heart would pound if he kissed me and touched me and fucked me— No, made love to me. Ohhh, god. How fucking good it would feel to be with...

"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed impatiently. "Have you heard a single word I've said?"

"Umm..." The blond's cheeks reddened into a deep blush as his hand flew to nervously scratch the back of his messy locks. "Sorry, Sakura. I was... distracted."

He noticed, then, that the two of them were sitting all alone at a table. He glanced around at a few different faces in the crowded bar that was now buzzing with life. Last he remembered, it was still pretty dead and all of his friends had been there at the round table with him and Sakura too. There was Shikamaru to Naruto's left and Hinata to the other side of Shika. Then, to Hinata's left was Sakura and to Sakura's left was Neji. Then, to Naruto's right, between Neji and himself, was...

"Naruto!" Sakura very nearly yelled. "Seriously! Listen to me!"

"I'm really sorry," Naruto said quickly, blushing deeper. He actually did feel guilty for being so distracted. "Um... How many beers have I had?" he asked, wondering if he could blame it on that.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You're still on your third. You've been on your third for forever. I was trying to talk to you but, apparently, I bored you half to death," she said exasperatedly. "I mean, seriously, Naruto. What the hell?" she added furstratedly. "I can't get your attention long enough to have a single conversation?"

Naruto offered a weak smile paired with his trademarked puppy dog eyes, asking her forgiveness. It was a look that she could never deny. Even when she was at her scariest, it always melted her heart. And Naruto was well aware of that fact.

"Alright," Sakura conceded, rolling her eyes but smiling nontheless. And Naruto's smile strengthened in return. "I'll start over," Sakura went on, "but you're only getting the short version. And this version is rather blunt this time around, so don't go giving me any puppy eyes or complaining if I embarrass you or hurt your feelings or something. I tried tact already, but you were too busy galloping off in la-la-land." She gave him a reprimanding look and Naruto nodded in an overly business-like manner, so much so that Sakura couldn't help but to giggle. "Alright, no, seriously," she added quickly though, trying to ease out of her amused frame of mind.

Naruto nodded again. "Seriously."

And then Sakura was right back to giggling. "Naruto!" she chided. "Stop doing that!"

"What?" he asked innocently. "I'm being serious." But there was a grin on his face, showing her that he was, indeed, trying to be goofy.

As she tried to bite back her giggles, Naruto took to glancing around at their surroundings again, mostly looking over his shoulder. Sakura was able to stop laughing and become serious once more now that he was turned away, but that had her nerves kicking into gear instead. She chose to use the reprieve of Naruto not looking at her dead on wisely. If he was looking away like that, then he couldn't make her more nervous or else just cause her to start laughing again. So she decided to hurry up and just spit out what it was that she needed to say. But, first, she had to take a breath to calm her nerves so that her voice wouldn't crack or shake or anything. She had just said all of this, and then some, mere minutes before, but she had been so nervous saying it then that she'd rambled on and on and on. Taking the time to try to get it out just right the first time had, apparently, caused Naruto to nearly doze right off to sleep. She wouldn't do that this time though. She'd just get it out there. Short and sweet. She was just about to finally speak when...

"Sakura?" Naruto turned back to his friend to see her mouth open. He realized when she closed it and raised an expectant and slightly annoyed brow at him that he must have just interrupted her. Well, he'd already made his bed, might as well lay in it too. "Where did everyone go?" he asked curiosly.

Sakura rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. "Wow, Naruto. You really did zone out, didn't you?" She turned slightly in her chair and jabbed her thumb to gesture off somewhere behind her and said, "They're over there. I asked you to come and sit with me so we could talk, remember?" She paused for a moment before adding, "Don't worry. They don't suspect we're sleeping together just because I asked to talk privately." That last sentence was injected with a bit of venom that Naruto could not miss, though he pretended to miss it anyway.

He just smiled at her, aready knowing that she didn't much like keeping them secret and that the topic always made her a bit bitter. But it wasn't Naruto's fault that things had to be this way. Well, it was, but Sakura just didn't understand why the secret was so important to him and he couldn't explain himself either. But without that secret... well... Naruto would just be downright depressed, he supposed. It was the only way that he could really cope with his unrequited love because it was the only way that he knew how. Ever since he'd discovered his feelings and their intensity, he'd started looking to Sakura for an escape. She was all he knew when it came to dealing with these feelings. He couldn't very well just give that up now, and he certainly couldn't change what he'd now been feeling for over a year.

He followed the line that her thumb was making to the back of a familiar head of hair. It was Kiba's head, and it was connected to his uncontrollably shaking shoulders. He was laughing as hysterically as he always did when you got a few beers in him. Naruto leaned to the side a little bit to catch a glimpse of everyone else at the table far on the other side of the bar. None of them seemed to really care what he and Sakura were off doing. Good, then they didn't suspect anything.

He shifted his gaze and saw dark, imploring eyes staring straight at him, causing his heart to catch in his throat. Those eyes... That look... Oh... Oh, shit... Did... Did Sasuke suspect something? He was the only one looking even remotely interested in what was happening between Naruto and Sakura. But would that really even be so bad? Wasn't that sort of exactly what Naruto really wanted? Wasn't this the very core of his fantasies? Oh, god. What was he thinking? Of course it would be bad if Sasuke suspected something! It was a whole other thing when the real, live Sasuke found out about him and Sakura. Y'know, the one who wasn't carved from a fantasy, the one who would not come storming across the bar in a fit of possesiveness and jealousy, the one who would not react nowhere near the way that Naruto wanted to see him to react. The most realistic outcome from Sasuke figuring things out would be that Sasuke wouldn't even give two shits, but he would tell the others about it. And if he told the others, then Naruto's fantasy would be ripped from him.

If everyone knew outright that Naruto and Sakura were seeing each other this way, then they'd expect the two to start dating officially, especially since her crush on Naruto was no secret amongst the group. But Naruto wouldn't be able to agree to that, and then his friends would judge and reprimand him for using Sakura so easily that way. And they'd have a right to do exactly that, becayse he was being cruel using her like this. But a bit of justified backlash wasn't what Naruto really dreaded should he and Sakura be found out. It was the fact that, to be able to redeem his noble quality in his friends' eyes and Sakura's too, he'd either need to be with her or cut it off. And he simply could not cut it off.

Or maybe that was exactly what he needed to do. Maybe he needed a new person to use and abuse, someone not so important to him, someone not so close to his heart, someone who would be vastly less invested. His friends wouldn't scoff at that, right? If he was just honest about the nature of the realtionship and the other party agreed, then they would have nothing to chastise. But that was a complicated notion, and Naruto didn't really want to entertain an idea like that right now. And to avoid all of those things, Naruto needed to continue to keep this entire thing secret, which meant that Sasuke, of all people, had to stay in the dark. He was smart and cunning and extremely perceptive, not unlike Shika or Neji. But, completely unlike Shika and Neji, he was also the only one who knew Naruto so well. He could read the blond from a mile away if Naruto wasn't careful about what he said and did, and that was what made him so much more of a threat than anyone else.

Even if he was sometimes a blundering idiot, and not ashamed to admit it, Naruto was quite adept at manipulation. He understood quite well how to mold humans, thanks to his less than ideal chilhood. In short, he had been forced to learn how to work people. If he hadn't, he never would have survived. It was this attribute that allowed him to fake a platonic relationship between him and Sakura, even if she didn't try at all, and it was this attribute that allowed him to, somehow, pull the wool over Shika and Neji's eyes. It was no easy task to fool them, but Naruto's charm worked wonders against even their acute senses and sharp wits. The only person who Naruto ever faltered against was Sasuke, the one person who could seemingly see straight through him and, thus, right into his truest intentions. Sasuke didn't look often though. Naruto just supposed that such was because he didn't really care, but that didn't offend Naruto or anything. Sasuke was just a very solitary type of guy, always had been. Even if he and Naruto were best friends, closer than anyone in the group on some levels, Sasuke stayed steadfastly independent. Naruto feared, though, that if Sasuke's curiosity was peaked, then he would start gazing right through Naruto's soul and see everything. So, no matter what the part of Naruto's head that controlled his fantasies said, Sasuke could not get suspicious.

But, shit! There he was, sitting over there looking at Naruto and seeming all curious and interested in what was happening! He was suspicious! He was so suspicious, and Naruto was so screwed.

No. No, no, no, no, no! No, Sasuke didn't suspect anything! At least that was what Naruto tried to convince himself to be belive. If he gave in to that defeated frame of mind now, then Naruto would really have no chance of getting his ass out of this. He needed to stay confident. He needed to be cool about it. And now that he calmed himself down, he began to realize that Sasuke was showing no signs that should make Naruto paranoid. It, more or less, looked like he was just looking for the sake of looking. Of course, Sasuke was a master at hiding himself too. But just like he had managed to see past Naruto's well-woven masks, Naruto had also learned to see past Sasuke's too. He could read Sasuke even when Sasuke was making it a point to be unreadable, which was often if not always. But, for now, Naruto decided that there was nothing to worry about.

All of this must have taken place in the span of but a couple of moments, but Naruto's mind had raced back and forth between so many things so quickly that he'd all but forgotten about Sakura completely. And then what Sasuke did next certainly did nothing to remind the blond of his current company. Sasuke brought his beer up to his lips and took a long drawl from it, and Naruto could feel his insides begin to flutter. He knew that his eyelids were growing noticably heavy with lust too. It was silly, getting so easily worked up by such a mundane act—Sasuke hadn't even done anything special, just casually taken a drink of his beer like any other normal human being—but Naruto's body didn't seem to care. It was reacting as if Sasuke was putting on some private show for him or something. Naruto knew that he had to, lest it get very awkward very fast, but he just couldn't bring himself to tear his gaze away from those lips. His tongue crept out to moisten his own lips without his permission. And then Sakura promptly punched him in the arm, breaking his trance abruptly.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, glaring at Sakura. It was a half-assed action, though, because he'd just forgotten her existence completely, so she was sort of entitled to punch him like that. Still, though, he was a bit annoyed with her, partly for the punch but mostly for breaking the stare.

He glanced back over at Sasuke, only to see that he had already looked away and was conversing with the others at the table. Naruto sighed. He knew that Sasuke was only faking because he hated idle conversation. So, then, why was he even doing it? He would probably find more interest in watching paint dry, which was why, Naruto rationalized, he'd even been staring over at Naruto and Sakura to begin with. It was, more than likely, out of sheer boredom. So why didn't he just keep watching them? Maybe Naruto had looked at him too seductively. Ah, shit! Maybe he'd made Sasuke uncomfortable! Damet! Naruto groaned out loud and plopped his head down on the table, forgetting Sakura yet again. I'm losing my mind, he thought.I've got to fuck something. Then, he smiled. Sakura.

He raised his head to look up at Sakura, but she already knew what he was thinking with that mischievous grin plastered across his face. She was definitely tempted. But, instead, she took a sharp, steadying breath to stabilize her raging hormones and sternly said, "No." Naruto frowned at her and began to pout. "Listen to me," Sakura demanded, her expression growing increasingly pleading. And then Naruto thought about how he'd just completely disregarded her this entire time, and he felt really awful for being like that. So he nodded, completely focusing on her for the first time all night. She didn't bother to take another steadying breath this time, fearing that she'd just lose Naruto's attention yet again if she did. Instead, she just plunged right into it.

"I know you don't want to be with me. I'm well aware of that. I see the way you look at, well, him. Don't talk!" she demanded, silencing Naruto when his mouth shot open to interject and carrying on quickly. "I know you must be confused and worried but it's okay, Naruto. I'm not mad at you. I will not, however, sleep with you anymore. Don't think that I'm stupid either. I've known for a really, really, really long time how you truly feel about me and about... him. Shut up!" she said quickly as Naruto tried to interrupt again. "I've let this go on for too long though. I let you use me to play out your fantasies because I wanted you so badly myself. At first, I thought maybe things would change and you'd actually start making love to me, but then I realized that I just can't compare. I let it continue anyway, though, because I liked the sex. I'm not sorry that I used you because you used me too, and you're probably not sorry for that either. We both took an opportunity from the other and we probably shouldn't have done it, but it happened."

She paused to take a much-needed breath. And Naruto just sat there staring. Here was a moment for him to speak, to say those things he'd tried to interject and say... and, yet, he could say nothing.

"I see it plastered all over your face, Naruto," Sakura continued, talking with more haste. It was coming up to the really hard part to spit out and she was hoping that maybe building up some momentum would allow her to just blurt it out without her nerves getting the best of her. "You're thinking ofhim when you're with me. You even moan his name sometimes, but I disregard it because I love you enough to let it go." Naruto's eyes widened exponentially and he began to fill with dread. "I love you enough to pretend it's my name," Sakura went on, even more hasty. "I also love you enough to understand that you love him, and I love you enough to help you. That's why I'm ending this right here and now.

"I will no longer facilitate your fantasies about—" Shit, this was the part. "—about—" Apparently that momentum wasn't really helping at all. She took a short breath and just blurted it out as quietly as she could without being drowned out by the crowd. "—about Sasuke!" She and Naruto shared a momentary, wide-eyed expression before she forced down a hard gulp and then sighed, her shoulders visibly relaxing. God, that felt so much better. She could already feel that it would be so much easier to handle this situation now that she'd finally said the name and addressed the issue out loud. Well, it was easier for her anyway. Naruto was still stuck with that deer-in-headlights look on his face. She continued, though, more gently now that she felt like she could talk about this more freely, or at least without feeling like she was going to have an anxiety attack. "I know this whole thing is really weird but I care about you, so I have to tell you this." She paused, touched his hand gently, and softly said, "You're an idiot."

Naruto slowly came out of his initial shock to enter into anger, or at least to try. How dare she say those things to him?! How dare she... she... well... maybe... actually... why shouldn't she? It was all true. I know it is, he thought to himself. And so that anger that he'd tried to grip onto ebbed, what little of it had even ruffled up to begin with. There was no point in pretending it wasn't true. She'd heard him fucking moaning Sasuke's name for fuck's sake. How had he let himself do that? He sighed, feeling almost relieved when he thought about things rationally. Sakura knows, so he might as well just let it out, right? Plus, would it be nice to actually have someone to talk to about all this? It's hard loving someone from afar. It's even harder loving your best friend while you're trying to deceive the one. All the while, not knowing what the hell to do in between.

Wait, Sakura just called him an idiot didn't she? "Idiot?" Naruto repeated. "Well, fuck, Sakura," he began begrudgingly. "You don't—"

"Stop," Sakura commanded, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence. "I'm telling you something important, Naruto. Now just shut up for once in your life and listen." The nerves from entering this really uncharted territory still lingered, but she was more determined to help her friends than she was afraid of what might happen for trying. She was helping, right? Naruto stayed quiet, though he looked a bit indignant about it, so she went on. "There's a lot you don't see, probably because you're too busy being lost in your own fantasies." Naruto was about to speak out again, so she hurried on to talk over him. "Just use the rest of tonight to notice, okay? I mean, really look at Sasuke, alright? Don't fantasize. Just look at him."

"I look at him every day, Sakura," Naruto retorted.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yes, you do, Naruto, but if you pay attention to detail for once, then maybe you can stop being such an idiot for a second and see something else. You've never looked at him like I'm telling you to look at him tonight. Just pay attention, okay?" Naruto stared at her for a long moment but nodded skeptically in the end. "We're going back over there now, and you're going to pay close attention to Sasuke. I'm going to help you figure some things out, alright? And keep a clear mind for god's sake, Naruto. I'm trying to help you, so dont' go getting a boner or something."

Naruto blushed and began to splutter, feeling embarrassed at having something like that said so easily from Sakura, if only because it involved a boner for Sasuke. "I— Y-You— Don't—"

"Naruto," Sakura groaned, looking completely out of the mood for this sort of thing. "Okay, I won't joke about it so openly yet. Just say you'll pay attention and try not to get distracted."

Naruto took a moment to compose himself. "Alright," he eventually said. He was still quite confused about what he was supposed to even be looking for, but he decided to just go with the flow anyway. That was his personality naturally in any case.

Focus, he told himself. Just focus. Don't let him cloud your mind. Stay in reality. Really see him, like Sakura said. Seeeeeee hiiiiim. He couldn't help but laugh at himself, in the end, and Sakura couldn't help but roll her eyes for the millionth time. But, again, there was a soft smile on her face. There would always be a soft spot in her heart for Naruto's smile.

"Focus, Naruto. Seriously," she insisted, perfectly mixing annoyance and concern into her tone without getting rid of that tiny smile. Naruto allowed himself a couple more chuckled before nodding his head and complying, silently promising to ward away all traces of amusement to focus.

They both got up, then, and Naruto followed Sakura back to the table, making sure not to look at Sasuke right away. He was trying to compose himself and forget about how much he wanted to kiss Sasuke, at least for the moment. Sakura retook her seat and Naruto retook his. No one really questioned their disappearance. They just welcomed the pair back into the group seamlessly, pulling them right back into the swing of things as if they'd never even left to begin with. Naruto stole a quick glance at Sasuke, only to see those deep eyes contemplating him. He couldn't hold back a smile, but he quickly pushed any remaining thoughts away.

Focus.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Disclaimer: I don't have the rights to Naruto and it's awful sad, don't you think?

General Warnings:
—Profanity & nudity. Hence the M rating :)
—Same-sex intimacy (male-male)
—Ch. 4 is censored, but you can find a link to the extended explicit version at the end of it.

Author Note: This is my first fanfic ever. Don't be too harsh on me but, please, let mama know how you like it. Reviews are appreciated :) Dive in, my friends. It's gonna be a long night :) P.S. All my Author Notes will be at the bottom of the chapters.

P.S. I have made a crappy floor plan to illustrate Sasuke's apartment in the story. This is mostly to keep my own self on track and it helps me be more realistic in my writing. Since there is only one link for this story all together, I'll just put it at the end of its respective chapter.