Among enemies

disclaimer: Lost is not mine

characters: Jack with a heavy dose of Jate

summary: Jack has some time to think. How can he be sure that Juliet hasn't shot Kate after their conversation was over? Set immediately after Not In Portland

AN: I thought my muse decided not to bother me about writing about Lost again. so this little fic came as a surprise to me. Even more surprising is quite a lot of Jate musings that found their way in it - I'm kind of still mad at Kate, so writing about what Jack feels for her was a shock. but sometimes you can't control your muse, right? ;) all in all, I hope you'll enjoy this one-shot. just so you know, I love feedback :D.

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He stood there, on the gallery, for once left alone. He felt like ages passed from the last time he wasn't under careful observation. Of course an illusion of freedom was just that – an illusion, and he was acutely aware of it. Probably an armed guard or two were stationed just outside his line of vision. But there weren't any cameras here, he was pretty sure of it. For the moment that was enough. He had time to think.

The adrenaline rush was dying off and Jack felt exhaustion seeping in. That was a pretty busy day, even for his island standards… He rubbed his growing stubble and tried to collect his thoughts.

Ben would be fine. For a moment he'll be weak like a baby, in case Juliet, or anyone else for that matter, wanted to stage a coup, but he'll recover soon enough and Jack would be totally useless. He was okay with that, got used to the idea of death for what he pulled and he didn't care. As long as Kate was okay, it didn't really matter.

Jack let his mind wander while he was gazing through the glass, inspecting his work. Ben's body was immobile on the operating table, the bandaged incision on his back clearly visible. This little guy that manipulated Locke, Sayid, Ana Lucia and him will always carry on himself a sign of Jack's greatest achievement and of his greatest failure - how fucking ironic was that?

Well, at least now he was considered a worthy opponent, Jack knew that for sure. The tone of admiration in Ben's slurred voice was distinguishable… Juliet and Tom seemed to respect him more too. It was almost funny in retrospect how Tom scurried to do what Jack ordered him to. Probably the only lighter moment in a long time. Not that any of it mattered in the long run. He played his cards well… won this round but it was painfully obvious that he was out of aces. Now he was in for a great loss. But he intended to go down swinging.

Jack leaned his forehead on the glass trying to relax his tensed muscles. He needed every ounce of strength he could get. He couldn't let himself be beaten without any resistance. Or bullied into emotional breakdown as he was the first day he's been in this wretched place. He wouldn't let himself be manipulated again. Whatever he would have to face he would do it with open eyes and clear head.

Was Juliet latest confession meant only to manipulate him? Jack turned it over in his head a few times and something didn't sit well with him. So what, now she was a prisoner, like himself? Now she's the one making oh so familiar deal with Ben to get out of here?

Yeah, right.

Jack couldn't imagine a situation in which he would be able to believe and trust Juliet completely. She tried to play him – a nice girl, offering him a grilled sandwich and knocking him out the next minute. Laughing about making him a burger and then wanting him to kill another human being. Offering him her help and then coldly ordering the murder of the woman he loved.

And now she's supposed to be vulnerable and in the same boat as Jack?

He didn't buy it.

No matter what she said he would keep his guard up. She wasn't his friend or ally. She was an enemy, just like the rest of them.

But… if he couldn't trust a word she said or any of her actions… what about Kate? How exactly could he be certain that Juliet didn't shot Kate and Sawyer as soon as his last conversation with Kate was over? What could have prevented her from shooting them if she was right there with them? "Go, get them back. If you have to, kill them." Juliet's cold voice echoed in his head. She had them at their mercy. What exactly could have stopped her from imprisoning them again or killing them on the spot?

Jack felt his stomach knot and he had to force himself to breathe deeply to quench the panic. Even if he didn't do it consciously his mind turned to its learned defense mechanism and as he started to silently count to five, Kate's face swam in front of his closed eyes.

The way she told him about their first meeting, choking on tears… Demanding him to tell her where he was, desperation clear in her voice… She calmed him enough to steady him and help him through the operation… If it wasn't for her…

She couldn't be dead.

She simply couldn't.

Unwanted visions of the times they spent together bombarded Jack's brain and he felt a wave of tenderness and love nearly overwhelm him.

Her smile when she told him her name. He remembered how he couldn't help but smile back, and the drama surrounding them disappeared for one precious second…

A flirtatious spark in her eyes when she teased him about his tattoos… He felt elated then that she was as mesmerized with the details of his life as he was with hers. Each of them was an enigma to the other and they couldn't wait to solve every single piece of the puzzle. He hadn't felt that happy as he was in that moment for years.

Her hug… he cursed himself later that he said anything about his arm hurting. What he wouldn't give now to embrace her again…

Memories flew through his head, faster and faster and still every single one of them sharp in every detail.

The sling she made for him… The smile she gave him when he presented her with guava seeds… embarrassed blush, when she stopped herself "If you weren't here, Jack…"… What did she want to say then? The time he caught her accidentally in the shower, unable to be a gentleman and just walk away… How her fresh smell surrounded him when she passed him in that door offering to leave a shampoo for him… How she stole his food and he desperately tried to look stern and upset about it… Their golf game and how she kicked his ass in it… The challenge to join the poker game… Her admission in the light of torches that gave him hope again "I'm glad you beat Sawyer"… How she teased him about his shooting skills and laughed for a few minutes when he managed to shoot them down right away…

Not all of the memories were good, Jack was painfully aware of that… She looked broken when he called her on her crime… She cried her eyes out when he forced the confession out of her… Even her kiss tasted of tears…

They've been angry at each other, disappointed in each other and hurt by the other's actions… But through it all they prevailed and their connection, something neither of them could deny, grew.

It was this connection that kept her digging even though he should have been dead when the cave collapsed around him for the second time…

This connection, that let him know that she didn't burn the raft… that gave him confidence to put Claire's labor in her hands…

This connection that made them seek the comfort in each other when they were gagged and bound on this dock.

Jack loved her. And even if they weren't meant to be together, even if she chose Sawyer in the end… Jack was sure that on some level she loved him too. They may never be lovers or discover how well would they work as a couple… But there was something magical between them and Jack was pretty sure that neither of them would ever find anything similar with other people, no matter how hard they tried.

They were soulmates.

And because of this link that bound them together for better or worse… because of its existence Jack was sure that Kate was alive and well.

If she was dead, a part of his soul would be dead too.

Jack almost chuckled at this mushy thought. It was so unlike him to even think something like that. His dad would have a field day if he knew. Hell, Locke would fall of his chair from laughter if he found out that some part of Jack isn't about science after all.

Love does strange things to people's way of thinking, that's for sure.

So… at least in one thing Juliet hasn't lied. About the rest… Jack will do his best to tell her lies apart from the truth scattered here and there. And then he'll try to make her work for his benefit, be it through cooperation or manipulation… He could die, he knew. But he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Because, though he was alone here, among his enemies, there was a part of him, part of his soul that called to him, that gave him strength and conviction that he shouldn't simply give up. That he should try with all his might to get free and win his life back.

Kate, because Jack could swear it was her voice in the back of his head, told him to fight.

And, no matter how slim were his chances, he would do just that.

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