All I Want For Christmas

One-Shot

Christmas Special

Author: Lolly4Holly

Pairings: Nick and Greg pre-slash

Contains: M/M Slash

Summary: All Greg wants for Christmas is a chance to tell the man of his dreams that he's completely in love with him. Will he get his chance to? Will his Christmas wish come true? Will he chicken out? Will he return his feelings? Inspired by song 'All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey'.

Author's Note: A little Christmas Surprise for my fellow Nick/Greg fans. Set sometime after Grissom has left the lab. Catherine is left in charge of the lab and Sara has just advised her to promote Nick to her second in command. Hope you all have an awesome Christmas and get everything that you wanted. Happy New Year. Enjoy! Thank you for reading.

~ Holly

Assistant Lab Supervisor, Nicholas Stokes sat behind his desk in the comfort of his Las Vegas office, waving off another colleague on their way out the door. He did his best to hide his envy of yet another colleagues departure, secretly wishing he was one of the lucky ones that got to go home for the holidays.

It wasn't fair.

It was supposed to be Christmas Day in less than two hours, but he was still stuck at the lab, finishing off the last of Supervisor Catherine Willows' never ending pile of paperwork.

Who's brilliant idea was it to make me the assistant supervisor? Nick couldn't help but wonder, grabbing for the next file off the side of his desk.

It was beyond unfair that he was still stuck here, but Catherine insisted that he finish it all tonight. He still had to reorganise the new shift router for the team and go through the long list of lab callouts for Ecklie's records, but first, he had to tackle the case files.

He fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably, anxiously tapping his pen against the table. He didn't know how Catherine managed to do all of this for all those years under Grissom's leadership. It was obvious why the old man avoided all of this now. It was tiring, pointless and the most boring part of the job.

Anything was better than this.

Adding another file to his very small 'done' pile on the other side of the desk, Nick sighed softly, grabbing another from the stack that seemed to be growing beside him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to concentrate on the next one, but his mind started to wander to all the things he was missing out on.

He loved Christmas.

It had been his favourite time of year ever since he was a child. It wasn't even the aspect of getting presents that he loved, it was spending time with family. There was the occasional argument here and there, but it was always the most perfect day of the year.

His mouth started to water as he thought of all the delicious home cooked meals he was missing out on. He hadn't tasted his mother's home cooking in nearly five years now. Not for lack of trying either. He tried to get home last year for thanksgiving, but his flight was delayed, so he returned to work. He fully intended on making up for it by going back for Christmas, but as usual, work took priority. He had used the same excuse so many times, that even his family had given up on the idea of him ever coming back.

He missed his sisters singing cheesy Christmas carols, just before dinner. Eggnog. The old traditional decorations that brought back so many childhood memories. The crackling fire in the front room. Seeing genuine surprise on the faces of his family as they opened their gifts. Perfectly organised feasts with a table full of people who loved him. It was the only time of year that they didn't ridicule him for still being single, but they still made their jokes.

At least you don't have to waste your money on buying a present that your girlfriend probably won't even appreciate. His brother always joked. He hated that remark, especially the girl part, but now he missed Christmas with them so much that he actually longed to hear him say it again.

Grabbing his cell off the other side of the desk, Nick scrolled through his inbox full of work related messages that had already been read, before he checked his voicemail. He still hadn't received a text from anyone wishing him a happy Christmas. Usually his mother would have at least attempted to call him by now, but it was as though they had all just given up on him this year.

He quickly ditched his phone before the water works started, grabbing his empty coffee mug, deciding that it was time to refuel rather than wallow in self pity. If he ever wanted to get out of here, he needed to keep his mind focused on the task at hand.

"Good evening, Mr Stokes." Judy from the front desk greeted him with a sunny smile, shuffling past him down the hallway towards her desk. "Oh, Mr Stokes." She grabbed something from her desk, hurrying after him with an envelope in her hands. "I meant to give you this earlier. Someone dropped this off for you a few hours ago. Might be a late Christmas card."

"I doubt that. I haven't gotten a Christmas card in years." He stopped at the break room door, grabbing the envelope from her hand. He didn't recognise the hand writing on the front, but it looked as though it had been written in a rush. He caught the prying eyes of the receptionist still staring at him as though she was waiting for a tip for doing her job. "Can I help you?" He gave her a curious look.

"Oh... no." She tried to hide her smile, taking a step away from him. "Shouldn't you be out of here already? You're usually the first one out the door when Christmas rolls around."

"I know. I'd love to, but there's a mountain of paperwork on my desk with my name on it. Catherine wants it all finished before she gets back tomorrow. Lindsey's home from school for the holidays, so she wants to spend as much time with her as she can."

"Oh, bummer... well, Merry Christmas, Mr Stokes."

"Are you off already?" He checked the time on his watch.

"Slow night and I would really like to be home for Christmas morning. My daughter just turned three. She's finally at that age where she understands what Christmas is all about and I want to be there to watch her open her Christmas presents. We got her this doll house that has all the bells and whistles. I can't wait to see her little face." Judy beamed with pride, giving the man a wave. "Good night, Mr Stokes. Don't work too hard."

"I'll try." Nick waved her off, finally stepping into the break room. He ditched the envelope on the side while he brewed a fresh pot of coffee, taking a quick look through the fridge to see if anyone had left any edible food for him to swipe.

Since Grissom had left the lab, their fridge was free of his weird experiments, but people seemed to leave things in there long past their expiration date. He could see a blue cheese on the bottom shelf that looked as though it had attached itself to the wall with the mould growing out of it. The next shelf up had half a sandwich on it that had gone a bit furry. The milk bottle in the door now contained a thick sludge of something that used to resemble milk and there was an odd looking piece of pie on the top shelf that really didn't look safe to look at, let alone eat.

Nick closed up the fridge, making himself a strong black coffee from the pot to keep himself awake for the rest of the night. He made it to the door with his coffee mug, before he realised he had left his envelope on the side. He quickly made his way back to it, just as print technician, Mandy Webster entered the room with her own mug, ready for a quick refuel herself.

"Busy night?" She queried, setting her mug down beside him.

"Yeah, I never realised how much work goes into being an assistant supervisor before. I feel like a glorified doormat. If I knew that it was this bad, I probably would have passed up the promotion."

"And missed out on getting the big man's office?" Mandy smirked, filling her cup to the brim with the delicious nectar. "I still can't believe that you willingly gave up your new office space to Greg and Riley of all people. I personally would have been thrilled to get that much space all to myself. But I guess now that it's just you and Greg in there, you can finally make it your own. Any thoughts on redecorating the place? You don't have to worry about the female element with Riley out of the way."

Nick shrugged his shoulders together. "I haven't really thought about it. I like it the way it is and I haven't heard any complaints from Greg."

"Speaking of Greg." Mandy sucked her spoon after stirring some sweetener into her cup. "Where is he tonight? I thought he was on the late shift?"

"Oh... he asked for the night off. I think he had somethin' planned." Nick confessed, catching the grin appearing on her lips. "Hey, I'm just helpin' out a friend. It's nothin' like that. Greg and I... we've only ever been friends. It's never been anythin'... more."

"No, you just want it to be." She giggled softly. He was obviously still in love with him, but he still didn't have the nerve to tell him. "You know one day you're going to wake up and realise that you wasted the best years of your life, wishing you could be with someone who is so close to you, but still so far away. Aren't you forty this year?"

Feeling the blush creeping into his cheeks, Nick felt compelled to correct her, "I'm forty two. Not that it's any of your business." He used to admire her bluntness, but now he just found it intrusive and annoying.

"Forty two and you're still hanging onto your hopes with this little school boy crush of yours. Either do something about it or let it go. Life is too short to waste your life away like this, Nick. When was the last time you had a date? And I mean a real date."

He shrugged his shoulders together, staring into the black abyss of his coffee mug. "It's difficult." He made up another excuse. "With the long hours that we work, the only new people that we meet are dead. No one even wants to know you when they find out that you work with dead people. When was the last time you had a date?" He turned the question around on her. He hated being put on the spot like that and she knew it. She had known him long enough to know exactly how to push his buttons. She was more like a sister than a work colleague now. He actually knew more about her then he did his own sisters, which was a scary thought.

"Last night, if you must know." Mandy dunked her spoon back into her cup, giving him a smile. "Tell me, if you're just friends with Greg, like you say. Then why do you continue to stare at him as though you want him to be something more? Everyone sees the way you look at him. I think by now, even he knows why you're looking at him like that. If he hasn't returned the feelings after all these years, don't you think it's time to move on?"

"It's really none of your business." He hung his head in shame. He already knew what he was missing out on. He didn't need to be reminded of it.

"You like him, don't you?" Mandy refused to give up on him that easily. "Then why haven't you said something? You've known each other for years. You're practically family the amount of time you spend together. Don't you want him?"

Nick sighed softly, making a move for the door with the envelope tucked under his arm. "Maybe because I believe that the fantasy is better than the reality." He confessed, stepping out into his hall. He wanted to go outside for a breath of fresh air after hearing the cold hard truth like that from a trusted friend, but he didn't have the time.

"Las Vegas Crime Lab, how may I help you?" He overheard Judy as he made his way back to his office. He left the door open this time, hoping the noise of the lab would distract him out of his thoughts of Greg, the Christmas he was missing and keep his mind focused on work.

An hour later, he made it through three more files, but the 'to do' pile was still towering over him. He reached for his coffee mug to clear the cobwebs, but his mug was bone dry. He slammed it back down with a heavy thud, groaning as it left a coffee stained ring on the envelope he had been given earlier. He hadn't given it a second thought, but it was still there, waiting to be opened.

He brushed his fingers across the coffee stained ring, wishing he knew who's handwriting that was. Of course, there was only one way to find out for sure.

What the hell.

Nick gave in, grabbing his letter opener from his desk drawer. He slid the blade beneath the flap, slicing it right to the end. He was expecting to find a cheesy Christmas card or something inside, but instead he unravelled pages of a hand written letter. He grabbed his reading glasses from their hiding spot, making sure that the prying eyes of the lab were focused elsewhere as he started to read.

Dear Nick,

I hope this letter ends up in the shredder or on a fire rather than in your hands, because if it does somehow reach you, then you'll know my biggest secret and you might view me in a different way. I don't really know how to express my true feelings to you, especially when I'm looking you right in the eyes, so I thought that writing it down might help. I really wanted to do this face to face, but that really hasn't been working out for me so far.

So here goes, pouring my heart out to you in a letter that I might not even give you.

I don't know how to start, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our friendship, but I feel as though I have to tell you soon or I'll explode. It's been nearly six years since I first started to fall for you. I thought that I felt the same way for you that Warrick did. He mentioned that he had never had a brother or much of a family really, but you felt more like family to him than his own family. I thought that you felt like a brother to me too, until I started thinking about you in ways a brother never should.

I probably shouldn't have added that part, but it's true.

I almost out right declared my undying love for you on my birthday a few years back, when you took me out to that club and got completely wasted yourself. I was going to confess it all to you, but you were too busy walking into tables to even notice me. I held you closer than I've ever held anyone in the taxi on the way home and felt tempted to steal a sneaky kiss from your lips while you slept...

But as usual I chickened out on all of it. And if I'm telling you the truth, I wanted the first time to be a mutual kiss that we both wanted. Even if it will never happen, I respect you too much to do anything that could hurt you.

I think deep down I've always felt something for you. I have seen and met a great many beauties in my life, but none of them compare to you, Nicholas Stokes. I thought I knew what love was, but since you filled my heart, everything has changed. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You have a heart of gold and I've had a strong desire to be close to you in every way. I value our friendship more than anything in the world, because you've made me who I am today. You've helped me achieve my goals, kept me on the straight and narrow (so to speak) and shown me what the important things in life really are.

I know that you'll find this hard to believe, but I trust that you will understand me when I say I love you for who you are. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I've never felt like this before, so I know it's real. Our road to friendship was a long and somewhat rocky one at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. You've always been there for me in ways no one ever has and you never ask for anything in return. I love your hugs and encouraging words of wisdom, and I want to say 'thank you' for every little thing that you've ever done for me.

I don't know how to pour my heart out to you in person, because I'm not brave enough to face the fear of rejection and losing your friendship forever. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realise and understand just how much I care about you, but the only words that mean anything to me when I think of you are...

I love you, Nick Stokes.

And believe me, I think of these words every time I look at you.

I have loved you as my friend for a while, but now I love you more than you could possibly know. To me, you're perfect and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy and keep you safe.

So now you know that I am completely and madly in love with you. Feel free to stay as far away from me as possible, if you want. I promise not to become a crazy stalker if you turn me down. Hence the letter, at least then I could play dumb.

Letter? What letter?

Opps, I probably shouldn't have written that part.

Nick couldn't help but chuckle, knowing exactly who it was from before he even got to the end. He ran his fingers through his hair as he reread the first part over again, feeling his heart beating rapidly inside of his chest. He thought for a moment that he might be dreaming or imagining this, but the letter was still right there in Greg Sander's chicken scratch handwriting and there was a second side to it. He hesitantly reached out for it, scanning his eyes across the second side. He smiled as most of it was just garbled Greg ramblings, until he reached the part where Greg copied down the cheesy line 'All I want for Christmas is you.'

He diverted his eyes back up to the top, reading,

I'm serious when I say I love you. I'm longing to wrap my arms around you to soothe my aching heart. I can't believe how long I've loved you and how long I have contained it in my heart. Thanks to every smile you've ever given me, I've managed to hold onto that hope, but my biggest fear of losing you forever has kept me from saying what I really felt.

Nick found he couldn't read anymore because his eyes had welled up with tears. It was as though he had written the letter himself. Everything that Greg wrote about feeling, he felt himself. He had always feared rejection from the younger man, so pouring his heart out to him felt like a suicide mission, but now he held the truth in his hands and he realised that he had wasted so much time already.

He had to do something.

Now.

Before it was too late and yet another lonely year passed him by.

Giving up on the mountain of paperwork, Nick grabbed for his jacket and car keys, running for the door. He didn't even have time to sign himself out, he had to get clear across town to Greg's place, while the courage was still hot in his veins. He took a deep breath in as he climbed behind the wheel, slowing exhaling as he started it up. He could still hear Greg's words as though he said them himself in his head. He clicked on the radio as he pulled out of his parking spot, feeling a tremble rushing down his spine as the song playing was the very same cheesy line that Greg had quoted.

'I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you.'

Nick pulled straight out into the busy traffic, tapping his fingers to the beat against the steering wheel. He had never been too fond of it before. But now it sounded like the most amazing song he had ever heard and it felt like fate as he directed his car off in the direction of Greg's condo. He hated watching cheesy romantic movies where the two main characters were obviously going to end up together, but he felt as though if he didn't say something now, he'd spend another six years wondering what could have been.

He just hoped that he wasn't too late.

'I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need, and I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I don't need to hang my stocking. There upon the fireplace. Santa Claus won't make me happy. With a toy on Christmas day. I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true.'

"All I want for Christmas... is you." Nick sang along, trying to remember if it was a left or a right on the next bend. He waited until he got a little closer before he decided, trying to remember the last time he had even been to Greg's house. He felt a little guilty that it was back when Warrick was still alive, even though their friendship had become stronger than ever these past few years.

Finally, he found the street, glancing around at the holiday decorated houses that looked very similar to each other. He thought that searching for Greg's car would be easier, but most of them had garages with the cars hidden away inside.

"I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas..." Pausing, Nick put the brakes on the car, spotting Greg as clear as day, making his way down the driveway. He had a bag of trash in his hands, lethargically making his way to the end of the drive to ditch it in the bin. He briefly glanced up, before turning for the house, but something made him turn around again.

He had spotted Nick's truck on the street and he was staring right at him.

'I won't ask for much this Christmas. I won't even wish for snow, and I wonna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe.'

The radio continued playing, while the two of them remained motionless for the longest few minutes of their relationship. He should have known that he didn't really have plans for Christmas Day. This was Greg after all. He never did anything for Christmas. He refused to celebrate birthdays and thanksgiving was just another day to him.

Nick continued to stare at him a moment, admiring how gorgeous he looked, even in his sleepy state. He was dressed in a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a plain gray t-shirt that hugged his smooth, slender body perfectly. His hair looked a little pillow creased as though he had been sleeping and the five o' clock shadow of stubble on his jaw line was already beginning to show.

Despite his rough appearance, he still looked absolutely delicious. Nick had found over the years that no matter what Greg was wearing, what colour his hair was or how sleep deprived he looked, he pulled it off flawlessly with that pearly white grin of his.

'I won't make a list and send it. To the North Pole for Saint Nick. I won't even stay awake. To hear those magic reindeer click. Cause I just want you here tonight. Holding on to me so tight. What more can I do. I don't want a lot for Christmas. This is all I'm asking for. I just wonna see my baby. Standing right outside my door.'

That was Nick's cue.

Gulping softly, he finally pulled the truck over to the side of the road, before Greg thought he was the crazy stalker in their relationship. He climbed out onto the street, humming the next few lines of the song for courage as he made his way towards the younger man, stood completely still on the end of his driveway. He had been thinking about what he was going to say to him all the way over, but looking at him now, he knew there was only one thing to do.

I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true.

Marching straight towards him, Nick fulfilled every one of his deepest fantasies, finally reaching the long lost object of his affection. He placed his hand straight on Greg's cheek once he was close enough, briefly looking into his eyes, before he closed the friendship gap between them and sealed that first kiss to his lips. He could feel his heart beating in his throat. It was almost more than he could bare, but he did it.

He finally kissed him!

Pulling back, Nick waited for a reaction in Greg's eyes, seeing exactly what he had wanted to see all of these years. Complete admiration. He really was completely smitten with him, but he had never realised it until now.

"Nicky, I..." Greg was quickly cut off by Nick's lips for the start of their second kiss.

The Texan had completely leaned into him now. One arm around his waist, the other creeping into his hair as he kissed him tenderly. He was caught completely off guard by this new sensation of his best friend kissing him that the kiss began a little one sided. He felt as though he had been paralysed by his kiss. He started wondering if this was real or imaginary or maybe even some kind of trick, but he could feel Nick's tongue teasing his lips open.

"Nick..." He finally managed to catch his breath. He had to practically hold Nick away from him at this point, just to get some answers out of him. He needed to hear the truth. He thought that feeling his kiss would be enough, but him being Greg, he needed words of acknowledgment rather than just actions. "I take it that you got my letter?"

Nick nodded, his fingers still combing themselves through Greg's hair. He stared into the dark pools of chocolate of Greg's eyes, realising just how much he loved him.

"Nicky..." Greg forced his arms up, protecting himself again, even from love. He didn't know why he was doing it. He just wanted to hear him say it rather than plunge straight into the deep end of passion. "Shouldn't we at least talk about this first?"

The older man chuckled softly, giving him that adorable boyish grin that got him hooked in the first place. "What's there to talk about, G?" He used the familiar nickname that made Greg's knees tremble. "I read your three or four pages worth of feelin's... front and back, and I feel the exact same way. I have for a long time. I just never had the guts to say all those things that you said to me in that letter. You're completely crazy, utterly adorable and thankfully, so very wrong that I would ever reject you. How could I reject someone as amazin' as you?"

"To clarify," He threw his arms up again, blocking the assault on his lips. "This is the letter that I wrote you."

"Unless I have another secret admirer out there that I don't know about." Nick nodded his head. "I think it's safe to assume that it was from you, given the fact that it was signed 'Greg Sanders' and all. I didn't even need my CSI brain to figure that one out." He tapped the side of his head.

Greg cracked a grin, feeling the older man's breath on his moist lips. "You feel the same way?" He backtracked, searching the Texan's eyes for the truth.

"Yes... completely." He placed his hand over his heart. "Greg, readin' that thing... it was as though I had written it myself. My fear of rejection has always kept me away from you. You've been such a good friend to me over the years, that I didn't want to jeopardise what we had with my crush. But I feel like our friendship is strong enough, especially after readin' how you felt."

"Crush?" Greg looked a little confused.

"It's not a crush." Nick realised that was the wrong word, wishing he had just continued to kiss him, rather than offer up an explanation. He always ended up tongue tied around Greg, why did he think this time would be any different. "I believe in my heart that what I feel for you is love. I think I've loved you since the moment I met you, Greg. Gettin' to know you better only made me love you more. I've wanted to tell you so many times, but I've never had a friend like you before you. You're there for me when I need you. You give me space when I need it. I feel as though I can practically talk to you about anythin'... besides my true feelin's for you... until now obviously, but I feel as though you understand me, better than I do. Everythin' that you said that you felt in that letter, I feel it too. That's the God honest truth, G."

Greg tried to suppress his smile, but his heart was betraying him, warming with the power of Nick's words. "And to think, I was going to give you that letter last year, but I decided to put it on the back burner for one more year. Boy was that a big mistake."

"We both should have been honest with our feelin's. How about we make a deal? No more regrets." He held the younger man's head in both of his hands, looking deeper into those beautiful eyes that drew him in. "Baby, all I want for Christmas is you." He finally said the words that Greg had been waiting to hear since he first laid eyes on him.

Greg's lips immediately turned into an explosive grin. He felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest. Tingles running in every direction of his body and his palms were starting to sweat, but he couldn't be happier.

He quickly took a step back from his ravenous new lover, blocking his chance to lock their lips together for their third kiss, right next to his smelly trash cans.

"What now? Do you want me to get on my knees and declare my love for you?"

"Although that would be nice to see." Greg allowed a devilish grin to spread across his lips. "I was just going to suggest that you come inside. I made some eggnog and it's a little less smelly and slightly more romantic then standing next to the trash." He motioned towards his house behind them. "So, do you wonna come in?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Nick's accent was thick and delicious, making the hairs on the back of Greg's neck stand on end. He reached out for the man's hand, leading him inside. Just a few minutes ago he was getting ready to turn in for an early night, rather than sulking around, wallowing around in self pity over his traditional Christmas day for one.

His Christmas wish really had come true this year.

Not only was he no longer alone on what used to be the happiest day of the year for him as a child, but he was finally spending it with the man of his dreams, his best friend and he couldn't be happier. He served him up a glass of eggnog, smiling wider than he had in years.

All I want for Christmas is you.

The End

Or just the beginning of a beautiful relationship...

Thanks so much for reading!

A little teaser for my Nick/Greg fans to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you.

I heard this song 'All I want for Christmas' in the post office the other day, waiting in line to post off my Christmas cards and had a sudden idea about a Christmas letter. I think it turned out pretty good. You'll probably have this song stuck in your head like me now :) Please let me know what you thought!

Hopefully I will have some more Nick/Greg stories in the New Year for you. I have a few ideas in the works, but not enough time to write them at the moment. I'm just working really hard trying to finish my latest GSR story 'Duel for Love' at the moment. But I haven't forgotten about my Nick/Greg fans. They'll always be my favourite couple to write for. :)

Enjoy your holidays!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

~ Holly