When I heard that she was gone,
I fell to my knees and said over and over…. No, no, NO!
Why did she, my grandmother leave,
Without even to bother to say good bye?
My heart hurt with pain as though,
Someone had stabbed it with great force,
Without any care.
I tried to say something,
But nothing came.
Then I heard… are you alright?
I said, "yes" but that was it.
I got off the phone,
And fell to my seat.
She died…. She died without a fight!
I was mad at her and God.
How could they do that to the ones that had loved her,
Those that cared so much……
But I still got down on my knees and prayed…..
"dear god, please take care of her,
And tell her that all that is here and weeping care so much about her.
……" I hesitated then said,
"it hurts to know that she is gone,
It hurts to know that my mother couldn't see her for a final time.
AND IT HURTS TO GO INTO HER HOUSE, to see all the memories unfold.
Now everyday, we all have to deal with this pain,
And the scariest thing is,
I don't know how….
I'm confused and unable to understand why she had to leave..
Why you had to take her,
And make her break her promise……
Just tell her that I love her,
And that I hope she is doing well.."
Tears fell passed my nose,
And my heart still ache out of fear,
And hate…
I still didn't understand…
I stand up and go out of the school hoping
That I wont have to be alone…..
Tomorrow is the day I have see her face….
The pain is back,
And even worse…
Tears are running,
While my insides are screaming…. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?
Tomorrow when I am next to your cold body I will say,
" why did you leave me? My heart hurts with so much pain? Everynight I cry… YES I CRY TO FALL ASLEEP!"
Tears would fall,
While the wind would pass so gently as though it was a dove….
For now as I wait for the day arise…
I will pray and sing the death's song of agony thoughts…..