Cross My Heart — Book I: Uncertain Continuities
CHAPTER ONE: Transition
KEY: [Bracketed] text denotes POV. Italics indicates thoughts.
Disclaimer: I don't own MariMite. That honor goes to Konno Oyuki-sensei, Shueisha, and other related entities. Story rated T+ for eventual yuri feels, profanity, and love scenes.
[Yumi]
The springtime sun directed a symphony of pink sakura explosions atop the trees lining the path to Lillian. After the Tokyo snow had melted, the humble buds blossomed into a stunning visual display of pink feathers. The season's gentle breeze stirred susceptible petals from their birthplaces and sent them spiraling downward towards the pavement. Young maidens who arrived nearly two hours before morning prayers barely noticed the pink rain as they strolled to the waiting iron gates of Lillian Girls' Academy.
On this path, Fukuzawa Yumi walked alone. In the early silence, her eyes studied the flickering sidewalk shadow play produced by the light trickling through the branches and dancing petals. She followed the cascade upwards, up to the empty buds that had once been miniscule green nodules along spindly, bare tree branches. None of the students on the path were close enough to see the normal mocha of Yumi's eyes darken to a subdued grey-brown. It's almost as if Nature itself is changing to bid Onee-sama goodbye... Yumi recalled her first moments of consciousness that morning.
Graduation. A murky amalgam of emotion swirling around the forthcoming ceremony had kept Yumi awake, even as the digits on her alarm clock came into focus an hour too early. Try as she might, she couldn't stifle the flurry of thoughts that tore at the comforting embrace of restful oblivion.
Today and tomorrow. Two days of preparations that would feel like two weeks. The review of the choir and orchestra. Confirmation of the delivery time for flowers: those to be pinned and those to be handed out or arranged into bouquets placed along the outer edges of the auditorium seats. Pick up, sorting, and delivery of the diploma holders scheduled to arrive today. Final drafts of speeches to be turned in to the administrators' office. Then, Wednesday would finally come. The flower pinning ceremony, the auditorium packed with proud parents and well-wishers, the speeches, and the inevitable farewell to the class of third-years.
Sayounara. In just three days, with her Onee-sama's final bow as a high school student, Yumi's whole world, whole existence would change.
It wouldn't be the first time the heiress had completely turned Yumi's world on its head.
"Wait." A purposeful tug of a sloppy sailor collar. Long, delicate fingers, a neat curtain of midnight black hair, a flawless alabaster mask, and brilliant sapphire blue eyes. The image, burned into the fibers of Yumi's heart for eternity, marked the moment she had started her metamorphosis from shy, timid, nondescript freshman to the person she was today.
Prior to that chance meeting, Yumi's whole being had trailed after Sachiko with unabashed alacrity. As a fan, she had been contented to watch from the sidelines as the proud blue-eyed goddess, generously descended from the heavens, glided across Lillian's campus to grace the ungrateful air, the unworthy ground. Yumi could appreciate Sachiko's presence on behalf of all of Japan if she was drafted for the task.
The statue of Maria-sama welcomed the melancholic meditation of Rosa Chinensis en bouton. She bowed her head and clasped her hands together in prayer. Maria-sama, please lend me your strength and patience. Please help me-help us-through the challenges of the near future.
Challenges that Yumi would have to face without Sachiko by her side. The thought engulfed Yumi before she could swat it away. Did she have a right to phone her Onee-sama? To hope for sisterly outings now and then even as her Onee-sama would be busy adapting to college life? Or would it be better if she gave up?
"No!" Yumi exclaimed with a firm shake of her head. This can't be the end! she thought. Her Onee-sama had already reassured her that they would remain sœurs after graduation. To dwell on this subject would cast doubt on her Onee-sama's words.
"No?"
"O-onee-sama?" Yumi immediately dropped her hands and turned to see her, large as life, infinitely more beautiful than any conjured memory. Already, the world was falling away, settling and molding itself into a picture of ladylike elegance clad in Lillian's dark green uniform. Paralyzed by the warmth pulsing around her heart, the same warmth that made it difficult to draw air into her lungs, Yumi fell into her Onee-sama's gaze.
No matter how many days passed, Yumi never grew tired of gazing into Sachiko's emotive eyes, the most accurate indicators of Sachiko's mood. Steel blue matched the hard edge of anger. Dull navy accompanied a sigh of exhaustion. Aquamarine danced with light contentment. Out of all the Chinensis sisters, Yumi was the best at using hue and shade to gauge Sachiko's unvoiced thoughts. Today's color was electric blue for...?
"My goodness, Yumi, I haven't said a single word, and you're already denying me?" Sachiko's tone was frigid enough to bring the winter snow back to Tokyo.
"That's not what I meant, Onee-sama! I wasn't denying you. I was just thinking about something and well, you know how I think out loud sometimes. I know it's not very ladylike and- I-I'm sorry!"
She stopped when she saw the corner of Sachiko's mouth twitch. "Onee-sama! You're making fun of me again, aren't you? Geez."
Sachiko, struggling against the urge to giggle, reached upward to cup Yumi's cheek. "How can I help it when your reactions are so cute?"
"C-cute?" she repeated. The compliment only intensified the heat generated by the feeling of Sachiko's hand against her skin.
Yumi was close enough to see shimmers sparking beneath the surface of twin electric blue pools. I guess electric blue is for playfulness... Her thoughts ended there. It was simply too hard to breathe when the blood was rushing through her brain so quickly.
"Have I rendered you speechless, my cute sœur?" Sachiko asked with a smile. Not her heiress smile, not her Ice Princess smile... but a genuine smile that only surfaced when Sachiko had fully thrown away her mask. The beauty of her Onee-sama's expression left Yumi reeling.
"O-onee-sama, I..." Yumi's heart lurched when she felt Sachiko's thumb trail across her cheek. Briefly, she leaned into the gesture and savored the increase in friction. Onee-sama's hand is so... what am I doing?!
The pools of blue, the smile, the gentle hand... all of it together was too much. She was going to do something stupid if she didn't pull back now.
"S-stop teasing me, Onee-sama!" she stammered. By sheer willpower, she gently brushed off Sachiko's fingers (ignoring the prickles of pleasure along her cheek and spine) and began walking towards the classroom buildings. "Even if I used my fingers and toes, I still wouldn't have enough digits to count how many times I've heard the words, 'Can't you do something about those facial expressions of yours?'"
To Sachiko's credit, she maintained her composure after witnessing Yumi's imitation of herself. Yumi, quite peeved, had even executed the subtle flick of Sachiko's bangs perfectly. Hiding a smile, she pressed her hand to her heart in mock distress. "Two days to graduation and my petite sœur insists on trivializing one of my most legitimate concerns. What have I done to deserve this?"
"Cut it out, Sachiko-sama. It's so obvious you're trying not to laugh," said Touko, falling in step with her Chinensis sœurs.
"Gokigenyou, Touko!" Yumi said, reaching for Touko's hand. As always, Touko's cold exterior melted under her Onee-sama's unabashed affection. With a faint blush ghosting across her cheeks, she returned Yumi's warm greeting.
Sachiko, dismayed by the sudden disappearance of strawberry-scented warmth within arm's reach, tightened her grip on the handle of her schoolbag. She told herself to focus on the happiness blossoming between her petite sœur and cousin. Even as Yumi reached eagerly for Touko's hand. Even when Yumi's smile grew wide enough to fall off her face. But when Yumi reached upward to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Touko's ear, jealousy won the battle against Sachiko's resolve. "I wasn't aware that the spring season obliterated grace and good manners among the underclassmen," she said, directing her gaze to Touko.
"Surely you're not referring to me, Sachiko-sama?" Touko asked. Sachiko's silence was answer enough. Touko turned to Yumi. "Onee-sama, I wasn't being ungraceful, was I?"
Yumi was unable to get in a word before Sachiko answered, "Last time I checked, interrupting a conversation between two upperclassmen was considered rude, uncouth, unrefined-"
"And last time I checked you weren't my Onee-sama, Sachiko-sama." With a defiant tone and proud posture, Touko swept aside fourteen years of addressing Sachiko as exactly that. "Therefore, the duty of rectifying my behavior is none of your concern."
"As the current Rosa Chinensis, I am obligated to guide all of the Lillian student body on their path to moral righteousness."
"Oh, please. You and Rei-sama haven't been to the Rose Parlor for how long? Everyone knows that the two of you are merely figureheads at this point."
None of the groups of girls who usually bid Rosa Chinensis en bouton a good morning dared to approach, afraid they'd get scorched by the two bursts of aristocratic hellfire flanking their angel. Though Yumi was concerned, she knew it was better to let the argument between cousins run its path than to let the mood fester into something worse. She smiled apologetically at her admirers and steered her sœurs to their respective classroom buildings.
[Rei]
Lacquered wooden table, protective doilies, neat stacks of paper surrounding efficient Yamayurikai members. College entrance exams had kept her away from this scene during her third year, but that didn't mean Hasekura Rei would miss it any less. There were too many charged confrontations, too many plans enacted by scheming (but well-meaning) Onee-sama on their petite sœurs, too much laughter and camaraderie for Rei to completely cut away. Three years had dwindled down to three days. The table, titles, and all their responsiblities would soon be passed from Sachiko and Rei's dominion. To Shimako, to Yumi, to Yoshino…
"Rei-chan, why are you being so quiet? It's giving me the creeps!" said Yoshino loudly. She set a steaming cup of tea down with a loud clatter. Her eyes never left Rei's as she settled into her chair on the other side of the table.
Yoshino's tempestuous display coaxed a weary blink from her older cousin. She was far too habituated to Yoshino's fiery temper to be phased by a simple tantrum. Before answering, she glanced at her tea and noticed that Yoshino had still been careful to add precisely two teaspoons each of cream and sugar, just as Rei liked it. The scowl on petite sœur's face was nothing too serious.
"I wasn't aware that being quiet was against the rules," she said, casually swirling her spoon in the beige liquid.
"Well, when you and I are the only ones in the room, it's weird that you're having a conversation with yourself when I'm right here in front of you!"
"Who said I had anything to say to you?"
Matching the ominous tone of Rei's words, the Rose Parlor door creaked open. The sound of soft footsteps preceded the entry of the Gigantea sisters. Yoshino, aware that her argument with her annoying cousin would have to be shelved away, struggled to regain some semblance of calm.
"Gokigenyou, Rei-sama, Yoshino-san," said Shimako and Noriko. Eager to escape the tense atmosphere brewing between the Foetida sisters, Noriko bowed, then busied herself with tea-making on the opposite side of the room.
"Have we interrupted something?" asked Shimako. A feud between the close Foetida sisters wasn't out of the ordinary, but she rarely saw so expectant a gleam in Rei's eyes.
"Not at all, Shimako-san," Yoshino answered, fists clenched and pressed against the tabletop. From the telepathic daggers Yoshino was shooting in her direction, Rei knew she'd get triple the earful from her annoyed cousin tonight.
"Gokigenyou, Yoshino-san, Shimako-san, Noriko-chan!" Yumi said as she walked in. Touko and Sachiko trailed slightly behind. "Ah, you're here too, Rei-sama?"
"Gokigenyou, Yumi-chan. Truthfully, I only planned on ordering my transcripts and returning home, but Sachiko said she wanted everyone here for an announcement."
"An announcement that requires all of us to be present to hear it?" said Yoshino, eyes following the incumbent Rosa Chinensis. The words sped out of her mouth, squealing through the air an octave higher than her usual pitch. Yoshino's grin was wide enough to split a redwood down the middle.
Sachiko, in complete contrast to Yoshino's barely-contained excitement, calmly settled into her seat at the head of the table. She addressed the council, "I do have an announcement, but it isn't urgent enough to delay the start of your meeting. Yumi tells me that you still have some logistics to discuss for the graduation ceremony."
For a moment, the only sound in the room was the intermittent creaking of wood as next year's council members shifted in their seats. Sachiko and Rei, fully relinquishing their duties to their petite sœurs, had not visited the Rose Parlor at all as soon as the second round of midterms for the second-years had passed. Though Sachiko made a point of attending school every day, she usually went home straightaway or, if she wanted to meet with Yumi or Touko, stayed in the library until the meetings were over. As for Rei, her post-school hours on the days she did attend were spent smoothing the rough edges of the kendo club's transitionary period. Unsurprisingly, an air of discomfort accompanied the feeling of being scrutinized by the graduating Roses.
Shimako, who had held the title of Rosa Gigantea for over a year already, was, of course, the least affected member. She locked eyes with a frozen Yumi and requested the budding Rosa Chinensis to update everyone on the status of the diploma holder orders. And with that one calming sentence from Shimako, the Rose Parlor regained its normal diligent atmosphere.
"Why were they so nervous anyway?" Sachiko whispered to Rei. "It's not like we haven't been here before."
"Give them some slack. We weren't exactly relaxed when Youko-sama and Onee-sama dropped by last year," Rei replied, lips lifting at the memory of Sachiko stiffening under Youko's evaluative gaze. "But you're right, judging from how smoothly everything's going, they didn't have anything to worry abou—"
"I forgot to turn this in!?" Yoshino's left hand trembled as she lifted a piece of paper. Rosa Foetida en bouton's signature long braids framed a face that soon matched the color of the paper between her fingers. The sunflower-shaped watermark on the back, the trademark symbol of the florist the Yamayurikai had dealt with for years, revealed the importance of the crinkled sheet. Her dilated pupils flicked rapidly across the page. "Th-there must be some kind of grace period here. A loophole, something…"
Rei gripped the teacup and focused on raising it to her lips in a controlled manner. The small action was meant to divert the restless energy in her legs to somewhere, anywhere that wouldn't have her rushing over to Yoshino's side. As much as she wanted to speak up-to scold or comfort her panicking cousin-she knew it was no longer her place to do so. Sudden interference from a soon-graduating senior would convey disapproval to the fledgling Roses. With restraint, Rei took another sip of the milky liquid in her cup. The acrid taste of worry drowned out the bitterness of the long-steeped tea.
"With some earnest deliberation, I'm sure I could convince the florist to deliver the flowers! It's not like this an order from us will take her by surprise. Lillian's always used that shop for graduation—"
"Yoshino-san."
"She will forgive me, right? I mean this was just one time and-" Yoshino stopped mid-sentence when she felt a hand on her right shoulder. Her eyes drifted from the hand, up the arm, and finally, to two restless mocha pupils.
Yumi's lips wobbled into an uneasy grin. "Well, I know it's rude to interrupt, but…" With her other hand, Yumi reached for something on the table, then pressed it flat against the invoice. The words "Submitted Online Order - 03/17" in Yoshino's own handwriting glared pink on a yellow square of paper. "Err, I was with you when..."
"...when I submitted the order in the library computer lab," Yoshino croaked, eyes firmly planted on the wayward note. Everyone saw the weight of self-judgment press upon Yoshino's slumped neck and shoulders. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience I've caused."
"And here I thought the levels of hysteria in this council would decrease once Sachiko-sama graduated," Touko deadpanned. "I hope Nana-chan knows what she's getting herself into when she accepts that rosary."
"If she can even find her way through Yoshino-san's papers, that is," Yumi added with a smile. Laughter rang round the table over Yoshino's instantaneous look of indignant disbelief. Eventually, even Yoshino, quick to anger but never one to hold a grudge, couldn't resist and gave in to the infectious giggles.
"I think that was the last item on the agenda, Onee-sama," said Noriko, the first to calm down enough to speak.
Shimako herself took a moment to draw breath as she glanced at her papers. With a nod, she confirmed her petite sœur's assertion. To Sachiko, she said, "You can go ahead and give your announcement, Sachiko-sama."
Rei was barely aware of Sachiko rounding the table, handing thick cream-colored envelopes to each of her close friends. When Sachiko started speaking, Rei didn't even put up the pretense of listening; Yoshino was sure to relay the entire announcement verbatim on the walk home anyway. So instead, Rei traveled through time.
Ghosts of Youko and Eriko dragged freshman Sachiko and Rei into the room. A second-year Sei, the loser of the three-way race for a petite sœur, begrudgingly returned from buying celebratory drinks from the school vending machine. Fear, curiosity, and excitement roiled in her stomach as the reality of becoming "Rosa Foetida en bouton's petite sœur" finally sank in. By chance, she locked eyes with her fellow first-year. Outside, when they had first been introduced, Rei didn't think she would ever have the courage to meet the gaze of the elusive Ice Princess of Lillian, let alone talk to her. But in that moment when Rei saw a crack in the emotionless façade of the Ogasawara heiress, the fear mirrored in each other's eyes formed the first link of a deep, lasting friendship.
The scene disappeared. Memory morphed the loud, disgruntled Sei into a hollow shell left by the storm named Shiori. On the afternoon it had happened, Youko had immediately stood up and hugged a silent and tired Sei. And after a while, even Eriko had reached for one of Sei's still hands.
More distant memories flitted through her mind's eye, images flashing as if under the operation of an overenthusiastic movie projector.
The first time she and Sachiko had called each other by their given names without honorifics.
Yoshino, quaking and clutching her rosary, as Eriko raised a speculative brow during their first meeting.
The rustling of papers into folders and folders into waiting schoolbags roused Rei from her memories. With an apologetic smile, she politely declined the others' offers to walk out, citing one final check of the Rose Mansion to make sure she didn't leave anything. To her surprise, Yoshino did not protest and instead exited the mansion to procure a can of mugicha* from the machine. The Rose Parlor was finally empty.
This time, she did not succumb to the whispers of the distant past. In the light of the dusk, the room came alive with a vision of the future.
She envisioned Touko and Noriko trudging in, exhausted from the never-ending piles of responsibilities that came with gaining the title of bouton. At the tea station, Nana poured hot water from the spout of the electric water boiler into a waiting ceramic teapot. Around the table, Yumi failed to stifle a giggle as Shimako playfully evaded Yoshino's attempts to see her class notes. It was a scene that could take place in as little as two weeks. A scene without her or Sachiko, but not missing her or Sachiko.
Rei had witnessed next year's council work smoothly, only faltering when they noticed Rei or Sachiko listening. It was amazing to see Yumi, who rarely spoke up during meetings as a first-year, patiently bridge opposing viewpoints between Shimako's cool pragmatism and Yoshino's fiery passion. The three together would undoubtedly be a Rose Trio much-loved by the Lillian student body.
Visions of a happy, thriving council danced through the empty room, but Rei couldn't fully embrace the idea without feeling a little sad. Sad that everything was about to change. Sad that it would seem like she had never been here at all.
"Rei-chan, are you planning to spend the night here?"
Yoshino, standing a foot away, was no mere vision or memory. Gone was the pale, feeble girl frustrated with her body's limitations, the one who would cry and complain about activities forbidden by her heart condition. When the surgeons had operated on her heart, they had given Yoshino the opportunity to live the life she had always desired. Now, after a yearlong effort in the kendo club, her body was starting to catch up to the ferocity of her heart. The Yoshino of today stood a couple inches taller, face a little less soft, curves slightly fuller...
Rei tore her eyes away. Some things were changing, but she hadn't changed at all.
"If I said yes," she paused, hoping she had only imagined the desperation in her voice, "would you leave without me?"
"Leave you?" Yoshino closed the distance between them and interlaced their fingers. "You're stuck with me forever, baka Rei-chan!"
For a moment, no words passed between the two cousins. The silence and their shared gazes made it that much harder for Rei to deny the real reason she'd miss Lillian so much.
"Rei-chan, what were you doing in here anyway? And don't try to deny anything! I know for a fact that you didn't listen to a word Sachiko-sama said earlier because you were preoccupied with something."
"We can talk about this on the way home. Aya-obasama* and okaa-san are probably worried that we haven't shown up yet."
"And whose fault is that?"
"Well, you were the one who left to get a can of mugicha."
With Yoshino's palm warm against her own and Yoshino's nonstop scoldings ringing in her ears, Rei bid her tenure as Rosa Foetida farewell and walked out of the Rose Parlor for the final time.
Author's Notes:
*Aya-obasama: I made up Yoshino's mom's name since I don't think it was ever mentioned in the anime.
Hi, readers! Just wanted to say that I'm writing this fic to address some of the subplots that the canon storyline left unanswered, so I can put my mind at rest.
Warnings:
- Though I will focus mainly on Sachiko & Yumi, I will explore the struggles and development of each fanon pair. As a result, this fic promises to be quite long. ._. Sorry?
- The narration is going to follow the mode of narration in the light novels (i.e. the limited third person perspective primarily restricted to Yumi and Sachiko with occasional delving into other characters' minds). This fic will match the pace of the light novels. In other words, the plot is going to be paced slowly relative to most other fictions.
- I will probably refer to events found in the light novels that didn't make it to the anime, but I won't rewrite them. I will designate those references with a * and a footnote at the end of the chapter.
- I may randomly add cultural notes at the ends of each chapter to provide some insight into Japanese culture and mood.
I hope this comes across as being somewhat faithful to the mood and tone, if not the plot, of the light novel and anime. Hope you're all ready for some good ole MariMite-style angst and melodrama!
Cultural Notes:
- Sakura: We've all seen gorgeous shots of these trees with pink blossoms in our favorite manga or anime. Unsurprisingly, they provide a pretty backdrop to many confession scenes or starts of the school year (hehe, see what I did there?). In reality, the most popular variety of sakura trees in Japan have petals that only fall for a week before the new leaves sprout. Sakura symbolize awareness of the ephemeral nature of life and a subtle wistfulness over its passing. (For more information, look up the Japanese concept of mono no aware.)
- Sayounara: This word, often translated as "goodbye," is just as widely-known as sakura among anime fans. However, my Japanese teacher taught me it was more along the lines of "I'll see you when I have turned a new leaf," implying a very long period of separation between the conversationalists (e.g. you wouldn't say sayounara to someone you'll see tomorrow). "Farewell" would be a more appropriate translation.
- Mugicha is roasted barley tea. The taste of the roasted barley has a distinct nutty flavor and aroma with slight bitter undertones. People typically drink it cold, sweetened or unsweetened, during the spring and summer months.