The love that you had in your heart is gone; any touch of sincerity, any trace of compassion…Tell me what hardened your heart, what turned it to stone? Tell me what made you forget you were in love with someone? Was I wrong to forgive your indiscretions? Should I have been more hysterical, less understanding? If you're looking for a villain, go on assume the role…
Tracy Chapman
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"You're letting me come with you," demanded Harry as she followed Hermione down the corridor at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she was currently presiding as Headmistress.
After teaching charms for fifteen years, with a spotless record and impressive success rate with her students that had been consistently reflected in their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, McGonagall felt confident enough to retire. She had recommended Hermione for the position, personally presenting her before the Board of Governors, and made a public announcement of her recommendation in the Daily Prophet. Now well into her old age, McGonagall lived a relaxing life in a quaint seaside home, although she still visited the school on occasion to check up on things.
For the last three years Hermione had been adjusting to her new position quite swiftly. She had always had a knack for positions of leadership and it helped that she genuinely loved her job. Although she had been passionate about her job with the Ministry too, she felt a higher degree of satisfaction working as a teacher and mentor. Majority of her students walked through the doors of Hogwarts completely innocent and ready to be molded towards greatness. Sure placed a role in ensuring they left Hogwarts as capable witches and wizards with character, intelligence confidence, and integrity. It was important to her and now defined her life.
She also found the lack of sadness to be a great relief in her life. Sure, there were still frequent tears and expressions of anger; but they were inspired by hormones and breakups, not death and betrayal.
At first it was a rocky acclimation. There were memories to sort through, seemingly, in every class room, passageway and hall; not all positive. One of the hardest days for her Hermione had been when she accidently encountered the ghost of Lavender Brown drifting pass her in a corridor. That day, she had spent the rest of the evening in and out of a panic attack.
In the end, she had made it through the transition a stronger woman. It had taken her years to fully come to peace with the tragedies that had occurred at the Battle of Hogwarts, but she had managed it. She had even been able to host the annual anniversary charity event over the last three years, which was something she never envisioned herself being able to do. The very thought of attending as a guest used to be far too overwhelming to even consider.
Now she faced a new challenge. Another piece of her past was remerging, and she would not be able to bury it away, or run away from it until it resolved itself. No longer did she bury her problems at the bottom of a bottle of firewhiskey either, a blurry night eighteen years ago with a particular Weasley ensured that for her. It was on that night she decided that she wanted to quit drinking once and for all. At first she ended up drinking more, despite her desire to wean off of the habit, but she eventually overcame the urge. It took her almost a full month to break the habit but once she did, she never looked back.
Hermione clasped the front of her robe close as she walked outside in the midst of a windy day. Harry was still at her heel.
"You don't know if he's still dangerous," he continued, throwing his hands down in frustration
"He's never been dangerous to me," insisted Hermione, ignorantly.
"You're assuming he's still the same man you knew before! You don't know who he is now or what he's like. Azkaban can change a man for the worse!"
"I'm very aware of that, Harry."
"Don't apparate just yet." Harry forced her to turn around and look at him when they reached the edge of Hogwarts property. "What are you trying to prove by going this alone Hermione? We all know how brave you are; you don't need to do this for anyone."
Hermione had maintained a straight-edge, emotionless face the entire week; but Harry knew that each day closer to Draco's release had been chipping away at her from the inside-out; her mask was slipping, whether she realized it or not.
"I'm not trying to prove anything Harry. I just don't want to make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. I'm handling this like a professional, that's all. I don't have a choice in this, so I might as well make the best of a bad situation."
"But this is a big deal Hermione. Stop pretending like this isn't difficult! You're about to face the man who helped kill your parents! That should affect you; it's normal to feel upset about that!"
"Blaise killed my parents, not Draco, and he's never getting out. Draco just-,"
"Stood there and did nothing." Harry finished her sentence. "He only encouraged him to do it. Don't justify it by defending him."
"I'm not justifying the death of my parents!" Hermione hadn't meant to yell. She wanted to stay cool and retain her composure, but Harry was purposely pushing her buttons to prove a point, but she wasn't going to let him, or anyone else, get under her skin. "Look…I know you disagree, but I do believe he changed after that. I know that doesn't change what happened, I know that. And it sure as hell doesn't change where we are now, but I feel confident that I'm not in any danger around him…not physically anyway. I need you to trust me."
"You're emotionally vulnerable, and you know it." Harry called her out. "As far as your physical safety goes, I still insist that you have no idea what he's capable of now. Sirius was a good man who never harmed a soul, and that place nearly cracked him in half."
"I know it did, and I'm not pretending that I don't know what Azkaban does to people. To be honest, I don't know how I'm going to feel once I get into the same room with him. I just, I don't…" Hermione struggled for the right words to explain how out she was feeling, and why she knew she needed to do this her way.
"You don't want to lose face in front of someone else," accused Harry. "You don't want anyone to see you hurting or to see you weak. You have to lose this front Hermione! I know you better than almost anyone so I can tell when you're scared, and right now I know that you're terrified."
Hermione bit her tongue. She couldn't argue with him when she knew that he was right, despite all she had been trying to tell herself.
"I was going to tell you once we got there, but I may as well tell you now." Harry went on. "Ginny help me pull some strings at the Ministry and they're letting me serve as his probation officer."
Hermione's eyebrows raised in shock. "You've never served as a probation office before, how did you manage that? Why didn't you tell me before now?"
"What I do, what we both used to do, is close enough to the job requirement. I have the qualifications, and the authority to do it. It's just a one-time deal and Percy knows what this case means to me. I didn't tell you because I don't need you trying to talk me out of it. I knew you might object but I want to be involved so I can protect you."
"I can protect myself."
"Not from everything."
Percy had finally managed to secure his precious, life-long, coveted position of Minister of Magic. True to his word, he had never let Hermione's past discretions leak out to the public. They had all lived a life with limited turbulence for the last eighteen years. Hermione was concerned that was all about to change after this afternoon…
"As his probation officer, you're just going to have to surrender him to me later today anyway; so you may as well let me come with you now and kill two birds with one stone."
"No." Hermione was adamant.
Harry was about to argue with her more but she interrupted him before he could start.
"Harry, no. I know that you want to be there for me, to help me, but I need to do this alone. I need to confront this on my own and know that I have the strength to overcome the way I feel right now. I just have to. Please try to understand? If you go back to my office, I promise that I will deliver him straight there after I collect him from the guard."
Harry looked at her sternly. He didn't like the arrangement, but he could tell Hermione wasn't going to budge. "You swear it?"
"I promise."
"If he tries anything to hurt you…" Harry snarled as he bunched his fist at the thought.
"I'll kill him before you do," said Hermione with a slight wink, trying to lighten the situation; if that could be possible.
Without warning, Harry pulled her into an unexpected hug. "I'm proud of you. I want you to know that."
"Harry, I…"
"Just let me be emotional for once, yeah?" Harry said with embarrassment.
"Sure..." Hermione couldn't deny that this was sweet, but it was still awkward. She had never known Harry to be the hugging type.
"I'm proud of how far you've come in your life; everything you've managed to do…had to do to survive…I've notice it all. You act indestructible, and I know that you're strong, but I remember where you've come from as well. I just don't want to see you move backwards because of this, or get hurt again."
"I don't have a choice Harry," said Hermione with a sigh. Her hands were being tied by the Board of Governors; and as Headmistress, she had no choice but to comply with their wishes.
"I understand that. I know that you don't and I know that you'll handle this with more grace than anyone I've ever known."
"I have to. Ever since Sophia I've had to learn how to adapt to whatever life throws at me, including this."
Harry gave her a small smile and hugged her once more; this time Hermione returned the gesture and wrapped her arms around her lifelong friend.
"I'll see you soon…with him."
Hermione nodded, stepped forward and apparated to Azkaban.
/
Hermione touched down in a small room situated near a small, dimly lit office. A short haired witch, who looked like she was half asleep, was leaning on her elbow waiting for her to approach the desk. Clearly, there wasn't much for her to do in a place like this. Of course, it wasn't every day that they had a release so her boredom was understandable.
With trembling hands Hermione surrendered her wand to the witch, as was protocol when entering any wizarding prison, and most Ministry buildings as a visitor.
"Thanks for reading the sign," drawled the sleepy attendant, nodding to the sign listed to the right of Hermione stating: Please surrender wand to attendant upon entry. Hermione hadn't actually noticed the sign; she just knew the rules.
The witch placed Hermione's wand in a small cylinder container that tumbled it around before printing out a small slip of parchment at the end that contained information about Hermione's identity, job, and Ministry record. Once she was deemed clear and safe, the witched passed back her wand.
"I'm assuming you're here for Draco Malfoy? Seeing as that's our only scheduled release today..." said the office witch with a yawn.
"Yes, I have his release papers here." Hermione reached inside her cloak and pulled out a rolled up series of parchments and passed them over.
The witch unraveled them and quickly scanned them over. "Alright, this all seems to be in order. Let me just signal for one of the guards to escort you and we'll have you both on your way."
It took about fifteen minutes before a guard arrived for Hermione. The entire time she waited, she had paced nervously under the curious stare of the bored office with. It had been rather uncomfortable and she was grateful to move onto the next portion of this torturous event.
"Ms. Granger?" The guard called out her name as if he were reading it off a list; seeing as she was the only person in the room who didn't work there, he didn't wait for an answer but proceeded to move back through the door he had just come out of, beckoning Hermione to follow him. "Come with me and stay close."
It wasn't obvious to anyone else, but Hermione was shaking with nerves. She counted the pace of her breathing as she followed the guard down a winding hallway that led to a circular room with two couches placed against the wall. It was very unlikely she was going to be able to sit still anywhere until this ordeal was over with.
"You can wait here until he prisoner is brought forth," he instructed.
"Are you staying here with me?" She asked rather too quickly; her jumpiness was beginning to show.
The guard's lip curled up in an arrogant smirk. "Are you scared Ms. Granger? Never been in a prison before?
"No. I'm not scared," she said, affronted by his remark. "I was just wondering if you were; I don't spend a lot of time in prisons anymore and was unsure is all."
"I'll stay and wait with ya' if you want. Just got back from my lunch break and I'm not in a rush to get back to my post anyhow."
That would explain why it had taken over ten minutes for him to retrieve her. It was highly doubtful he had considered her waiting during his break.
Although standing in the midst of the unfamiliar room was awkward, it would have been more so if she was standing there alone. Time seemed to crawl as they waited for Draco to arrive.
When the door finally opened, it startled her. She held her breath as another guard emerged with a long haired, badly worn, and emaciated prisoner in his tow.
He was utterly unrecognizable. This was hardly a shadow of the man she remembered him being. Perhaps they had brought her the wrong person?
"Merlin's beard Draco…is that really you?"
Draco looked up through a mess of hair and squinted at her as if she had spoken too loudly, and as it was difficult for him to see her at the same time.
Hermione worried that maybe he had lost his mind during his sentence. What if Harry was right and this was no longer the man she thought she knew? He didn't even seem to recognize her to know who she was.
"Draco, it's me…Hermione Granger. I'm your collector." She made a point to not speak as loudly this time. She didn't want to startle him.
"…I know…" Draco's voice emerged as a dry croak. He tried to wet his lips, but they appeared too parched to be of any help. "…I know who you are…"
Hermione's eyes were blinking rapidly in disbelief of the sight before her. She didn't know what to say next. Luckily, the guard who had escorted Draco into the room stepped forward and handed her Draco's release papers.
"I just need you to sign here to confirm that he's being released into your hold. Once he leaves here, his probation officer will be in contact with him soon, and he knows that."
"Right, of course." Hermione signed the form being presented to her and took a copy of the completed release form for her own records. "Is there anything else you need me to do?"
"Nope, that's it. He's free to go…well free to leave here anyway if you know what I mean." The guard gave a slight chuckle as if that had actually been a funny remark. "You can get back out the way you came in. His apparition restriction was lifted when he signed his release form so you don't need to worry about that gettin' in your way. Oh yeah, before I forget…here ya' go."
The guard ruffled around in his the deep pockets of his uniform until he pulled out a sleek wand and passed it over to her. "His wand is still be tracked until his probation is over, and there are some restrictions but nothing that'll keep him from being able to work and fend for himself. Again, his probation officer will know all the details and conditions of his release but I'll let you decide to give that back to him when you feel safe enough to do so. Make sure he; what's the phrase again? Oh yeah, comes along quietly."
"Oh…Okay, thank you." Hermione kept nodding her head like a bobble-head far longer than she needed to. She was stalling for what to say next to Draco; she had no idea.
The guards started to walk away from them and Hermione felt a sense of panic rising up inside.
'Stay calm Hermione and remain in control. Look at him, there's nothing he could do to you in the state he's in. You could probably throw him if you wanted to. He's been reduce to practically nothing. Don't feel bad for him, he deserved this. You didn't do this to him. He did this to himself…'
"Are you ready to go Draco?" she spoke to him very carefully.
He seemed so fragile.
Draco didn't know how he could feel ready to do anything. For eighteen years, he had barely existed. The mere presence of sunlight in the room was enough to overwhelm him; such a bright contrast to the dark existence he had become accustom to.
Now, he was about to reemerge into a world that had continued thriving without his participation for nearly two decades. He didn't know how to respond to that.
Slowly and silently, he followed Hermione down the curved hall that led back out to the small room Hermione had apparated to on arrival.
The dazed witch at the desk had her face buried in a magazine and gave no acknowledgement that they had entered the room, but peeked nosily over the top of the article she was reading to watch them leave.
Hermione finally spoke up again.
"I figured apparition might be a bit much for you after not using magic for so long, so I brought along a port key."
Draco wouldn't look at her, his gazed remained fixed staring straight at the floor as he slowly nodded his head to consent to the port key.
"Alright…," Hermione nervously fished around for the port key in her cloak pocket. It was a just a fork she had swiped from the Great Hall on her way out, nothing fancy.
"Ready?"
Draco reached out to grasp the port key, his finger barely grazed her hand as he did so. She shuddered in response, his touch was cold as ice and it shocked her.
Hermione quickly activated the portkey and soon they landed back in her Hogwarts office, where Harry was diligently waiting for her seated behind the desk.
"That's him?" asked Harry with as much surprise in his voice as Hermione felt, as if Draco wasn't in the room with them. Even Harry hadn't recognized Draco in his current state.
Hermione silently nodded in confirmation as she walked up to her desk to stand beside Harry, leaving Draco standing alone in front of them.
"You can sit down if you'd like Draco," offered Harry pointed to one of the few armchairs in the room.
Draco reached back and braced himself down onto the arm of the charm and carefully sank down into the cushion. Without meaning to, he let out a sigh of relief and satisfaction as he nestled into place. He hadn't sat on a real cushion during the entire duration of his stay at Azkaban. The mats they were given to sleep on were firm and rough. Even now, he wasn't sure what they had been made of, but it had been nothing comfortable.
"Thank you," softly muttered Draco, a great deal of gratitude apparent in his voice. He didn't understand why she was showing him any form of kindness; he didn't know why he was in the middle of the headmaster's office at Hogwarts; and he didn't know why Harry Potter was in the room with them, but it didn't matter.
All he knew for sure, was that he was no longer in Azkaban and that this was real.
That's all that mattered.
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A/N: Hello! For those you just joining us, you should be aware that this story is the sequel to Bridges. You can find the link to that story located under my author profile.
For those of you who are turning to this turbulent love story: Thank you for holding on and not giving up! I promise resolution and compensation for all of the very mean things I did to Dramione in Bridges. It was all for the sake of the story. The muse made me do it! I swear!
Please Review and let me know what you think. I am always open to suggestions, reactions, feelings, feedback, ideas, and constructive criticism when it comes to my stories.
See you next chapter!
On we go!