Hey guys! This is a short little something, mostly Rick centered but with heavy Brick undertones to celebrate Brick day! I just wanted to post a little something for you guys and I wanted it to be sweet, and even use one of the words that were given... but than this happened. Blame my muse not me!
I am going to update The Forced and Unwanted Helper pretty soon! I have it mostly ready but I still need to edit some things on it! (and may be secretly planning a Cutting Edge Brick au!).
It was stupid. How long it took him to realize that he had given out his heart again to someone. At first he thought maybe it was a crush, which seemed incredibly silly for him because in the middle of a zombie apocalypse who had time for something as stupid as a crush. But it was the only word he allowed himself to use to describe how he felt about the young blonde. How his heart skipped a fucking beat when she appeared, how much he enjoyed talking to her, how much he appreciated everything she did around the prison.
He had a crush on Beth Greene.
He felt ashamed of himself at first. She was only a child, barely eighteen.
A very gorgeous teenager with legs that went on forever, a sinfully small waist and the bluest eyes he had ever seen in his life.
When they were at the farm he hadn't noticed her, too worried over Lori and Carl. After the farm fell and they were forced to run, was when he began to notice some things about the blonde, how selfless she was, caring, generous. It was the little things that made her stand out, how she ate less than everyone to give Carl and Lori more food, always shrugging away when someone told her she didn't need to do that, simply saying she never ate a lot (to which Maggie scoffed telling everyone she ate more than her and Hershel together) The girl was a big ball of sun light in a world filled with darkness and though he never let it show he began to look for her during the days, to bask in her light for a few moments and allow the dark crust on his heart to be melted away little by little.
When Lori died he didn't even remember her name.
His marriage hadn't been good in the past few years but they had a son, a daughter, and years of living together and being best friends, and the fact the last memory he had of her he was angry made her death hurt a lot more. Because that's when the what if's began.
What if he had been more loving towards her?
What if he had mended the bridge?
Maybe if he had done those things she wouldn't be dead right now.
What if instead of looking at a teenager like she was the sun he had payed better attention to what was happening around him. The guilt eated away Rick, for weeks he barely functioned, his group nearly crumbled because their leader was a shadow of his former self and kept seeing his dead wife every where he looked. Saw his dead best friend. Talked on the phone to dead people.
More people died and more guilt began eating away at him until there was nothing left. He was a terrible leader. He was a terrible father to Carl. He had been a terrible husband to Lori. His failings kept playing on loop behind his eyes, how his son had become cold and uncaring to the people around him, the remains of the walker who had eaten Lori.
Maybe Shane had been right, maybe he was better for his family and the group than he was.
And than she handed him his baby, her blue eyes shining with love for the little girl on her arms, and he dared to hope that maybe a bit of it was for him as well. A little glimmer of light entered his crusted heart again.
Beth Greene was his sunshine, but she would never know that.