The universe was playing a sick joke on her.

How else could she explain why the reaper had come for her on Christmas Eve, dressed as Santa Claus no less?

It was sick. She was sick. Everything was sick and twisted and ugly.

The reaper apparently didn't think so.

"You can call me Santa," the blue-haired reaper had introduced himself, his deep yet soft voice maliciously cheerful about the occasion.

She wasn't buying it.

Am I dead?

"No, not yet, but let's not get ahead of ourselves," evil Santa laughed. It was a terrible laugh, one that made her insides squirm as the reaper's voice boomed in her ears. He scratched at the white beard taped to his chin, his deep blue eyes twinkling with delight. "Christmas is a time for miracles, don't you think? So I'll let you make one Christmas wish before you die."

She didn't know how serious he was, not that she knew how serious the reaper dressed as Santa Claus could be, but at this point, she didn't care. Before she could think of an answer though, a splitting pain erupted in her head, her vision flashing white. She didn't even have the strength to scream, her ears only faintly picking up on quicker-paced beeps from the heart monitor.

Make the pain go away. Please. Just make the pain go away.

She could hear the reaper's soft cackle in her ears. "Is that really all you want for Christmas?"

She hesitated. Was it a trick? Was he tempting her to wish for something more?

After a long, deliberate pause, she stared hard at the white ceiling above her and wished.

I want to live. I want to have a life.

There was that terrible laugh again, a deep, booming laughter than shook her to her core. She couldn't make out the reaper beside her due to all the pain, but she watched as a bony hand reached for her face, his fingertips deathly cold to the touch. Almost immediately, her eyelids grew heavy, her mind clouded in a fog that made her too tired to even panic. Had the reaper lied about granting her a wish? Was this the end?

"Oh no, we have time until that. No, I'm going to give you one special present for Christmas. I'll let you live, but only for 24 hours. Find someone to love you within that time, and I'll let you keep living life as you should have. Fail, and I'll simply come back to claim you for good. Of course, letting you live isn't exactly in favor though so I'll have to impose one minor obstacle. Do we have a deal?"

She couldn't move, her body heavy with the weight of unconsciousness. Have someone fall in love with her in 24 hours? It was ridiculous, an impossible proposition, and yet…

For someone who hadn't tasted enough of life, there really wasn't much of a choice.

As her brain fell into the lull of sleep, her body so stiff and uncomfortably heavy that she didn't even know if it was still hers, she felt the corners of her mouth barely twitch upwards into what could've been a smile.

Deal.

Miku was nervous.

No. Nervous was an understatement.

She was desperate.

Christmas was ending fast, faster than she wanted to believe and she was still there, stuck in the middle of town and very much single.

What had she even been thinking? Had she really thought this year would be any different from the last? There was no such thing as a Christmas miracle that might gift her someone who could love her.

No, Miku was too awkward for that. She didn't know how to talk to people, to make small talk. She'd tried wandering about in stores, attempting to talk to employees and customers only to get nervous and embarrassedly leave, probably leaving behind the impression of being a freak. She had worse luck on the snowy streets. The so-called White Christmas only soured the mood, everyone hurrying to get out of the cold and hardly tolerant of a lonely young woman with overly long turquoise pigtails and dreary blue eyes.

Miku sighed, her head tilted towards the heavens above, watching as her breath came out in wispy clouds.

So much for love. Maybe she really ought to give up on it forever. She'd been alone for her entire life, she might as well embrace it at this point. There was no one in the world who could possibly fall in love with her within a 24 hour span. It was impossible.

Her face still looking up to the cloudy skies, she sighed and closed her eyes for one brief step.

And promptly bumped into someone.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Miku squeaked, eyes snapping open as she leapt back a step, her heart leaping to her throat. The young man with blond hair whom she'd bumped into gave her a startled look, probably as surprised as she'd been before he hastily replied, "No, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?"

Miku's heart pounded faster. His voice was probably the most angelic sound she'd heard all night, not just because his gentle yet clear voice was charming, but also because that was probably the nicest thing a stranger had said to her all day.

She gave the blond a meek smile and stammered, "Yeah, I'm fine."

In the awkward moment of silence that passed between the two, Miku suddenly remembered her previous goal of finding love. Considering he'd been nice to her, it wouldn't hurt to try, would it? If she failed again, well, Miku decided she could only give up with a heavy heart.

"Um, what were you looking at?" Miku forced out and instantly regretted. It sounded so forced and out of place. What stranger would suddenly ask that?

Her worries disappeared the moment the blond returned her question with a smile and looked back at the window of the store they were standing outside of. Miku followed his gaze to find a small coffee shop inside, a steady line against the counter as people waited to get their daily dose of caffeine.

"I was just observing them," the blond said, an undecipherable smile on his face. "I… I'm kinda curious about coffee shops. I've never had coffee before but it always smells so good."

"Then why don't you go inside and get a cup?" Miku asked before she could stop herself.

The young man glanced over at Miku with a hint of embarrassment. He nervously tugged at his messy bangs and admitted, "I don't know what all those drink names on the menu are, and I'm a bit too shy to actually ask the people working there to describe it to me. I mean, I'd like to try everything but I want to know what I'm getting before hand."

"I can describe everything for you!" Miku suddenly blurted out. When Len's eyes widened with astonishment, Miku turned red with embarrassment and hastily added, "I mean, if you wanted to I could take you inside and explain what the drinks are to you and we could go to different coffee shops and try different drinks, but only if you have time of course but you probably have something to do and I mean I'm just a stranger so it's probably weird that I'm offering this and—"

Miku's rambling was cut off when the young man let out a soft laugh that melted her nerves away. For maybe the first time in her life, she didn't think the anxious thought that maybe he might be laughing at her. Her mind was completely blank, too enraptured by his beautiful smile, the dimples forming in his cheeks and the gentle look in his eyes as they sparkled cerulean blue.

"I'm sorry," the man said, fixing Miku with a sheepish grin. "I didn't mean to laugh, it's just… the way you were rambling just then, it was kinda… cute."

Miku did a double take. Cute? Did this gorgeous stranger just call her cute?

"Oh, I didn't mean it in a creepy way, I swear!" he hastily said, probably alarmed by the surprise on Miku's face.

"That's not what I thought!" Miku reassured the blond. "It's just, well, no one's really called me cute before."

"Oh," was all she got in response. After a pause, he continued, "Well they must not know you very well."

"You don't exactly know me too well either," Miku couldn't help pointing out.

Her words were met with another charming laugh. He said, "That's true, but I can tell you're a great person. Oh, and so we're not total strangers anymore, I'm Len."

Miku managed to form a coherent response, "I'm Miku. And… thanks."

"For what?"

"For saying I'm a great person," Miku shyly smiled at her feet. "I… I don't think anyone's told me that before either."

"Well they should," Len smiled back. "Oh, and before you retract your offer, I would love it if you took me on a coffee tasting tour. I've got nothing to do all day after all, and I'd love to finally get to try lots and lots of coffee!"

Miku stared back into Len's bright blue eyes, the cheerful smile he was giving her. Was she dreaming? Was there really such a handsome young man accepting her excessively awkward request in her secret bid to get a lover? Since when was talking to strangers so easy? Unless… Unless maybe there was that infinitesimally tiny chance that he might be interested in her?

It was a stupid thought. No one was ever interested in Miku, certainly not at first sight, but Miku didn't even care to think about it. Miku swallowed hard and returned Len's smile. She firmly replied, "I'd be glad to be your tour guide."

With that, she pushed open the door to the coffee shop, leading Len inside the aromatic store, the door closing firmly behind then with a soft tinkling of the bell on the door.

If this was a dream, she never wanted it to end.

Miku and Len ended up spending the rest of the afternoon prancing in and out of coffee shops, moving from one cafe to another. The more Miku saw Len's blissful smile at each sip of coffee, the more enchanted she became. She was surprised that Len really had absolutely no knowledge about coffee whatsoever. Every time Len pointed out a drink he wanted to try, Miku would diligently describe what it was and how it was made (she spent way too much time on the Internet), and Len's eyes would light up in excitement without a fail, every single time. And then he'd actually get the drink and the pure bliss that settled on his face at each and every first sip was refreshing and surprisingly endearing at the same time.

It made Miku want to fall in love with Len.

But she couldn't, or rather, she wouldn't let herself fall in love without being loved first. The entire the point of her excursion was to find someone, anyone would might fall in love with her, and maybe, just maybe she'd try loving them back with the knowledge that she wasn't throwing herself into the pain of unrequited. She needed Len to fall in love with her and that was all she needed. There was no point in falling for him first, and Miku was going to fight herself if she had to.

"Is something wrong?"

Miku broke out of her thoughts with a jerk, hurriedly glancing over at Len and praying he didn't have some secret mind-reading power. His neutral expression was lined with worry, and Miku almost hated how her stomach fluttered at the thought of someone worrying about her being too quiet. It had always been the opposite; everyone always acted irritated with her when she fumbled her words and kept quiet all throughout class and work. She was the ultimate quiet misfit in society and here she was being treated like a friend by an almost complete stranger.

"Nothing's wrong!" Miku hurriedly replied, still touched but not wishing to worry Len for long. "I was just… thinking."

They were currently sitting on a park bench, having decided to take a break from all that coffee tasting, their hearts warm and their smiles bright. It was starting to snow more heavily around them, but Miku wasn't bothered by it. Having Len sitting beside her was heartwarming enough, and it would be a lie if she said Len didn't look beautiful with glistening snowflakes perched in his golden blond hair. He occasionally tugged at his bangs like he wasn't used to them, his short ponytail barely poking out of his jacket collar, but his smiles remained as vibrant as they had been earlier that afternoon. It made Miku question why Len could seem so perfect and upbeat. Or rather why she just couldn't stop thinking of the blond that way.

"Miku? Are you sure you're okay?"

Miku gave a start, her cheeks growing redder at the thought of getting caught thinking about Len again. She cast Len another nervous smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I… It's just been a long time since I had so much fun with someone."

"Me too," Len agreed, flashing her a cheerful grin. "I've never had the chance to enjoy Christmas before, so I'm glad we bumped into each other. I can't imagine a time when I was any happier than this."

"We still don't even know that much about each other," Miku laughed. It was surprising, how much she'd opened up to Len. Maybe it was his kindness, his willingness to put up with Miku when she rambled a bit too much about something that excited her and when she wandered off in her own daydreams and thoughts. It'd been so long since someone had been that nice to her, and the fact that all this human warmth was being given to her by a near complete stranger only made her feel warmer inside. It almost made her willing to believe in the magic of Christmas again, and for someone who'd spent almost every Christmas inside, alone in her room, that was a near miracle in and of itself.

Len joined Miku's laughter, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he threw his head back and stared up into the sky. He stuck his tongue out and caught a snowflake before turning to grin at Miku again. He said, "True, we don't know that much about each other, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a great person, Miku. I'll bet no one else in this world would be as willing as you were about taking a stranger on a coffee tour."

"That's not true," Miku instinctively denied, hoping the blush on her face could be passed off as redness from the cold weather.

"No, it's true," Len insisted, leaning closer to Miku. His eyes meeting hers, he continued, "You're a great person Miku, more than you give yourself credit for. And I'm not saying that just because you've helped me discover the wonders of coffee."

Miku's heart skipped a beat. This wasn't fair. Why was Len such a smooth talker? And how could he sound so genuine and honest? It—it almost made her believe that maybe he…

Miku's thoughts were broken again when Len gently brushed some specks of snow from her turquoise hair. He immediately grew redder and stammered, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was doing, I just, I couldn't help myself."

His head ducked down into the collar of his jacket, his eyes blinking rapidly as they look around at everywhere except Miku, who couldn't help but giggle.

"So even you can get nervous!" Miku exclaimed, returning the gesture by gently brushing some snow off of Len's hair too.

"Of course I'd get nervous," Len said. "It's not everyday that I get to spend time with a pretty girl like you."

"Now you're just flattering me."

"I'm not! If I were, I'd have done it during our coffee tour to get you to pay for all that coffee!" Len laughed.

"Oh, that reminds me, you didn't let me pay for my share of the drinks!" Miku suddenly remembered.

"How could I do that? You took me on a coffee tour on Christmas when you probably had better things to do," Len argued. "Besides, I let you pay for the food."

"We didn't eat that much, Len," Miku pointed out.

Len shrugged sheepishly. "What can I say? Coffee just tastes amazing on Christmas!"

The two of them chuckled at that, their breaths mixing together into one giant white fog that danced its way up into the sky.

"You know, it's been a long time since anyone's enjoyed hanging out with me," Miku sighed, smiling over at Len. "Hanging out with you makes me feel like I'm someone special."

"You are special!" Len insisted. "I'll personally go and fight every single person who denies it!"

Even as Miku laughed at Len's statement, her laughter resonating with Len's in the empty park as the snowfall slowed into a gentle lull, Miku didn't know what to do with herself. It was like Santa had actually come and delivered the perfect potential boyfriend right in front of her, and Miku couldn't deny it any longer. She loved how special Len made her feel, insisting she was some great person even though normally she was such a nervous wreck. She loved his smiles and his delightful excitement over trying new coffee drinks and window-shopping in each and every store they'd passed. Len made it seem like the world was a never-ending treasure chest to be explore, and seeing Len like that made Miku want to believe that the world was a better place than how she'd imagined it, that it really could be filled with the gift of human warmth and Christmas miracles.

"I have something to confess," Miku found herself saying. Knowing that Len was giving her his full attention, she took a deep breath and continued, "I came out today looking for love. I've always thought of myself as a failure of a human being, and I didn't have much hope, but I decided this year I'd try my luck and see if I could find someone to love me.

"And you, Len, I just—you're like an angel. I don't think anyone's even been half as nice as to me as you've been and spending time with you just makes me so happy."

Len had been staring at Miku the entire time, a hint of a smile on his lips as he waited, patiently letting Miku get her words out. After carefully thinking over her words, she stared into Len's vivid blue eyes, so bright and alive that Miku couldn't help but be sucked into them. Miku asked, "So, I know we've only known each other for a very short time, but Len, will you go out with me?"

For a brief second, as Len's face lit up with delight, Miku thought she could finally believe in the wonders of a Christmas miracle, but almost immediately, the joyful expression on Len's face crumbled apart. He hastily turned his face away from her, his face tinged with a heavy, forlorn look that she couldn't quite understand.

Miku hadn't even managed to brace herself for the worst when Len slowly turned back to her, his expression serious. "Miku, like I said, I really appreciate everything you've done for me today, but… I'm sorry. I can't."

"Why not?" Miku couldn't stop herself from asking. She wanted to glue her mouth shut. Stop talking. Prolonging this conversation was going to kill her.

Len couldn't look her in the eye. His eyes were cast down on his pale intertwining fingers, his lips pressed tightly together. The silence that surrounded them was deadly, made even worse by the hastily falling snow that clung to their hair. Finally, Len spoke, his voice barely a whisper, "Look, Miku, you're a great person, but I can't accept your feelings. And it's not because of you in anyways. It's just, I'm not who you must think I am."

"What do you mean you're not who I think you are?" Miku demanded.

"I… I can't fully explain it, but what I can say is that I approached you because I thought you were an easy target and that I could trick you into falling in love with me," Len blurted out, his eyes still trained on his crossed hands. Before Miku could even process his words, he continued hastily, "But now I know you're just a really sweet and wonderful person and I'm sorry for taking advantage of you. You deserve someone a million times better than me, someone who can be honest with you about who they are, and that's why I can't agree to be your boyfriend."

Miku couldn't even respond to that. She felt betrayed. Sure, she'd set out with the same goal, searching for love but she hadn't meant to trick anyone! Had all those smiles, those kind gestures and those patiently understanding words just been a lie? Was she really just alone in the world? Unable to find someone who could actually truly come to love her?

"I'm sorry," Len said again, not once lifting his head to look at Miku, his messy bangs hiding his eyes from sight. He stiffly got up onto his feet. "I'm sorry."

He broke into a run.

"Len!" Miku shouted, leaping to her feet and reaching for Len. Her fingers missed Len's sleeve by a centimeter, leaving her alone by the snowy park bench, Len's figure quickly vanishing into the thick fog of snow.

She stared after the shadows of his figure, stunned, shocked, and terribly numb to the emotions that threatened to burst out of her.

So it'd all been a lie. A lie she'd so naively believed because she'd just been that desperate.

Miku collapsed back onto the park bench and slowly, very slowly curled up into a ball.

She had only wanted to find someone who could love her, and yet here she was, madly in love with someone who didn't love her back.

She curled up tighter, wrapping her arms around her legs to keep them from trembling. She was cold, cold to the core but even more than that, she could feel her heart slowly shattering into pieces.

What use was love anyways, if no one could love her back? Today had been her desperate attempt to find human warmth in a world that had always seemed so cold, and now she had more proof than ever that she was right.

The world must've been planning to suck her emotions dry, to leave her as cold and heartless as the rest of them.

Miku closed her eyes, icy tears already lining her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. The cold wind bit at the trails of tears on her face, but Miku couldn't feel it, pushing everything from her mind as she huddled there on the bench, alone again.

If that was the way the world worked, she'd rather die than live in it.

A/N: Here's Part 1 of my Christmas fic for this year! It's seems depressing doesn't it? But don't worry, I'm promise there's a happy ending in store! (I think)

Although I feel like this one-shot doesn't really have the Christmas spirit since the most Christmas-y thing was it being Christmas and the reaper dressed up as Santa and stuff? (I guess that's what I get for coming up with and finishing this idea at 4 in the morning…) I'm sorry if it feels like I rushed with the whole Miku and Len encounter/process of Miku falling in love or if Miku's love doesn't feel natural enough. I'll have to keep working on my romance writing skills I guess T_T

Anyways, thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated! This ended up a lot longer and more complicated than I originally planned, but I hope you'll look forward to Part II tomorrow!