A Heretic's Diary

Chapter One: To Love someone

by TheDarkAngleLilith

Through Nora's prospective watch her life twists and turns when magic once again forms a loophole and she falls pregnant with a heretic baby. Mary Louise by her side they run with Rayna Cruz and the armory in hot pursuit of the magical miracle baby. How can she cope when everything she's ever known is upside down? The love of Mary Louise and her unborn child will be her only hope.

Mary Louise reached for my hand and as our skin touched I felt warmth and electricity spread up my arm. I pulled away. Her eyes welled up with tears once more. I tried to tell myself that she deserved it but I still felt a painful pang in my chest. I still loved her I couldn't stop loving her. I wanted to make her regret her choice to pick Julian over me. The problem was I loved her so much that hurting her hurt me. But I couldn't just fall back in to her arms after what she did.

"Nora, I can't stand this. Please we can't separate permanently. We're soulmates, forever and always do you remember when we promised that? I've already apologized I don't know what else to do. If you wanted me to feel pain and regret you've done exactly that. I can't stop loving you and it's so painful. I won't live like this anymore. So if you're planning to ever stop torturing me then say so now."

"What are you talking about?" I questioned. "Mare, what the hell are you planning to do to yourself?"

"Nothing." She shook her head looking away from me.

"Bullshit. Are you seriously planning to off yourself just because I won't get back together with you? God have some self-respect would you." I glared.

"That's not what I said." She spoke quietly.

"That's what you were thinking." I stated.

I knew her all too well. Her emotions were her Achilles heel. It became a dark cycle if someone wasn't there to pull her out of it. I knew Julian sure as hell wasn't drying her tears. I didn't know if vampires could be clinically depressed. But manic was the perfect word to describe Mary Lou sometimes.

"Tell me you're not just as miserable as I am." She snapped she was trying not to cry, that never worked.

"Of course I'm unhappy about our separation. Of course it causes me pain to see you and know that I can't have you in every way I did before-"

"You can still have that." She said over me but I didn't stop talking.

"-but what you did, what you chose that night. You chose Julian over me and I can't accept that. Yes I remember when we promised to love each other forever and always. When I was a fragile human and I needed you to love me. I still need you to love me Mary Lou. But you showed me that on your half forever and always isn't as important to you as it is to me." I was raising my voice and grabbing attention from the few other people in the small diner. But I didn't care.

"It is important to me; you're all that is important to me!" She cried.

"Then bloody act that way!" I yelled.

A waitress walked up to the counter where we were sitting. She collected our drinks with an aggravated glare. "I think you two need to take this elsewhere."

"I think you need to shut up and keep your nose where it belongs. Remember the costumer is always right." I replied with a glare compelling her to leave. "Mare you're the one who taught me to have respect for myself, this is me doing so."

I noticed her jump slightly and bite her lip. The pained expression on her face changed.

"Are you going to say something?" I asked a little too harshly.

She inhaled deeply but shakily. "I think we're done here."

Mary Louise sniffed and swiped her hand across her face to get rid of the tears. I didn't know what to say when she rose to her feet until I saw it. There was a patch of blood on the bar stool that matched a spot on her jeans.

"What the hell is that?" I questioned in alarm. There was no reason for her to be bleeding like that.

Before I could ask any more questions or get an answer she whimpered in pain and collapsed. I still cared about her and seeing her hurt got an automatic reaction out of me. I recklessly vamped to her and pulled her in to my lap. She was unconscious and she was bleeding steadily.

We had attracted too much attention so I picked Mary Louise up and carried her to my car. I laid her on the back seat and drove away quickly.

…

By the time I got Mary Lou to my dorm room the bleeding had stopped. But it was the fact that she had been bleeding in the first place that concerned me. Why did this happen to her? I couldn't think of any reason for her to start spontaneously bleeding then pass out in pain.

If she was really hurt I would never forgive myself for the way I'd been treating her lately. Her heart was still beating strong and she was breathing but she was deeply unconscious. I felt odd doing so but I couldn't just leave her in a mess like she was. So I stripped her from the waist down and wiped her thighs down with a wet cloth.

Seeing her nude was all too usual to me and I felt torn. Mary Louise was so beautiful and sexy she was generous, loving and kind to me. It didn't matter how she treated other random people she stood by her family and that was all that mattered.

As I wrapped her in my bath robe and laid her in my bed I realized that I was now fighting both sides of my argument. I didn't want to just fall in to her arms when she came crawling back to me and I hadn't. The truth was Mary Lou had hurt me but I was being self-conceded and petty. For once she showed that I wasn't the only person in her life and I couldn't handle it so I lashed out. She had made some mistakes and I was right to be angry with her but she apologized and clearly regretted it. I took it way too far trying to punish her. Looking back at the way she acted that night in the bar I knew I had hurt her more than she had hurt me.

I sighed as I sat on the edge of the bed and gave in to temptation. I watched her breath and combed my fingers through her silky blond hair. I'd always adored her hair I loved every inch of her. In that moment I realized just how bad I wanted her back.

I heard a phone ringing the sound lead me to where I left Mary Lou's coat. I pulled her cell phone out of the pocket and answered it. Valerie's name displayed on the screen.

"Hello."

"Nora?" Valerie questioned, her reaction made sense. The day before I would have been surprised to find myself answering Mary Louise's phone as well.

"It's a long story, but if you're calling her I assume that her life is in danger. Once again but I'm not surprised since Julian obviously doesn't give a shit about her." I replied.

"Julian is dead." Valerie said suddenly.

"What?" I asked, I almost thought I'd heard her wrong.

"Julian is dead, I-I helped Stefan kill him." She responded her voice was shaking.

Valerie was crying over Julian's death, after everything that psycho lunatic did to her. But I didn't feel relived either. I felt pain to hear of his death too, but why? He was responsible for Lily's death. He was the reason our family split apart, the reason for Mary Lou and I separating. It didn't matter what mistakes he'd made. He was a father figure to us all. We still loved him to an extent still wanted to find good in him even though we knew it wasn't there. We'd mourn him because we once loved him and you can never truly fall out of love with someone.

It all made sense to me then, Mary Louise was the definition of the term "daddy's girl" in her human life. It tore her apart when her father turned his back on her for being a Siphoner. She found that fatherly love again in Julian when she joined Lily's family just as I had found a mother in Lily. She had to face that heart breaking betrayal again with Julian. Could I really blame her for believing his lies and gravitating towards him? I saw the choices she made as her being a selfish bitch when really she was just a girl trying to keep her father in her life. I had been too hard on her.

"Nora?" Valerie questioned.

I had been lost in thought I didn't realize she had been talking.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"She's going to be hurting. I know you still care about her I do too. Just break it to her gently." Valerie continued. I knew she was talking about Mary Lou.

"I will." I sighed. This was going to crush her.

"We're still a family you know? You, Mary Louise, Beau and I, despite everything that's happened I hope we can pull through this together." Valerie continued.

"So do I." I replied.

We said our good byes and I hung up. I heard Mary Louise moan and she started to stir under the covers. She was waking up.

I returned to my place sitting next to her on the bed as she came to.

"Nora? What happened where we are?" Mary Lou asked.

"We're in my dorm at Whitmore, and I was hoping you could tell me what the hell that was." I replied.

She sat up and looked off to the side "It's not important."

"It's not important?" I questioned incredulously. "If that were to happen to me you'd have god damn hemorrhage! Don't tell me 'it's not important' what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know, it was just painful then… it's really nothing please listen to me. I don't want to bother you but I- can I stay here with you tonight? I'll sleep on the floor I just can't go back there. Julian can't control his delinquent friends. Every time I see him he's a whole new definition of drunk-"

"Julian is dead Mary Lou." I blurted out; I didn't know how to tell her. Granted this was the wrong way to do it but I couldn't keep it from her.

She just stared at me for a few seconds. Then I saw her eyes glaze over and a single tear fell down her cheek.

"What? No- no he can't be he can't be dead Nora-" Mary Louise stammered.

"Valerie just called he's gone, Stefan killed him. I'm sorry." I cut her short.

She didn't say anything else. She rarely made noise when she cried just silent tears. Somehow that made it more heartbreaking. There was something about her wide jade eyes that made my heart melt. Seeing Mary Louise cry was like watching a kitten get kicked.

No, I wouldn't give in so easily. I was being extremely stubborn at this point. I fully intended to take her back at some point but tonight wasn't the night.

"You can stay here and you don't need to sleep on the floor. But I don't want to wake up with you spooning me." I told her.

I got her an extra blanket and pillow. The bed was small and our backs would touch but I wasn't going to make her sleep on the floor. As we settled in I could feel Mary Lou's spine against mine. My natural instinct was to turn around and slip my arms around her. But I couldn't, not yet.

"Thank you, for everything tonight." Mary Louise whispered as she started to fade off to sleep.

I didn't reply but not even a minute after her breathing evened out and she fell asleep. It took me much longer to fall asleep but I had a sense of comfort when Mary Lou was around. She had been my protector for over a hundred years. I was so used to her breathing down my neck every second of the day. I never realized being separated from her made me nervous it made me feel vulnerable. When I finally got to sleep I slept sounder knowing she was there.

…

It was 05:50 when I woke up to an odd sound. As sleep wore off I started to make sense of things. Mary Louise was in the washroom in my dorm vomiting violently.

"Mary Lou?" I called "Are you alright?"

All I got for a response was a retching noise. The bleeding and now she was getting sick. It wasn't impossible but vampires didn't usually get sick. She had been fine all day until after the huntress's murder. Rayna Cruz had all sorts of tricks up her sleeve maybe this was one of them.

"Mare?" I questioned as I walked towards her.

"What's your definition of okay?" she asked between heaves.

I sighed and knelt behind her to hold her hair back. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. Our relationship was in such an odd place that made this very awkward. But when I was human she had nursed me through tuberculosis so I could at least do this for her.

Two minutes later we both sat opposite of each other with our backs against the walls. Mary Louise looked as if she could've passed out on the bathroom floor at any moment.

I nudged her leg with my foot. "Mary Lou? Why is this happening, What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me Nora, I'm just… sick." She sighed.

"Ah yeah I'll say!" I scoffed.

"Could we please not do this right now; I just want to go back to bed." Mary Louise peeled herself off the floor and walked back to the bed.

I sighed and followed her.

"You see that's one of our problems. You treat me like I'm made of spun sugar but I can't be concerned about you without you belittling me. God, you're impossible!" I exclaimed.

She gasped and clutched at her stomach. I was being rough and abrupt but I needed to know what was causing her pain. I pushed her back against the bed and pried the clothing away from her lower abdomen.

"Nora!" Mary Louise gasped squirming beneath me.

I was in shock as I watched a bright red and purple bruise spread across her stomach then fade and heal. Mary Lou gasped in pain again and another bruise slowly appeared and left.

"Mare, what's happening?" I asked. I was terrified this wasn't natural something was very very wrong.

"I don't know." Mary Louise replied quietly.

Let me know what you think should I continue? have any cute fluffy Nora and Mary Lou moment ideas you's like to see written down i might be able to put them in latter chapters, with a shout out to whoever gave me the idea of course.

I don't own the Vampire Diaries.

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