Me: Another fanfic! Oh yes! This one I will love it x3!
Jason: Why? O_o
Claire: Jason! *glomps and purrs*
Jason: *blushes* Dammit woman! Leave me alone!
Me: Yay! x3 Oh! And I'm going to like it because it's an Anti-Sakura fic!! *cheers happily*
Jason: …Who is Sakura?
Claire: …Don't know…neither I care…
Me: YAY! YOU BITCH! .DIE!!!!
Warnings:
First, as I explined earlier, this will be an Anti-Sakura fic, so if you like that pink bitch and you don't like to see your characters being treated like this, please leave…
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…and thank god! I don't own Sakura!
Ten Ways to Annoy the Hell out of Haruno Sakura
Hi! Do you hate Haruno Sakura? Do you want to see her suffer? Do you think that she needs to get the hell out of the anime and leave our precious SasuNaru alone? Then welcome to this story! These are ten ways you can use to annoy that fucking bitch!
*
In the village, every citizen can see a strange brunette girl standing alone in the street. That brunette is you. You're wearing black fingerless gloves, a crimson strapless shirt that ends just above the navel and hugs your figure, a black miniskirt with chains adorning both sides of the skirt that hugs your hips too and the same dark blue ninja boots everyone else has. Your brown hair is styled in a spiky horse tail, and some strands of your hair are trying to hide your brown eyes and part of your tan skin. A spiral with a vertical line passing through the middle of said spiral is tattooed in the right corner of your tummy.
You are waiting patiently, for someone, or something to appear. Just then, you find it. A familiar pink haired kunoichi is walking through the village with a big smile in her face. Smirking evilly, you head towards her. When she's finally near you, you call at her with your innocent-voice-no.19J3L4.
"Hey Sakura-chan!"
Said girl turns to look at you, her emerald eyes confused. Then you remember that the target doesn't know you. With your big brown eyes shinning with innocence, you answer her mental question.
"Hi! I'm new in this village! My name is Haruka! I heard from Naruto-ch…kun about you!"
You give yourself a thumbs-up at naming Naruto as a guy and not as the adorable uke he really is.
Sakura, hearing the blonde's name, her smile dropps and a glare takes its place.
"What does Naruto-baka wants now…"
You clench your teeth after hearing her "cute" name towards the blonde dobe. Trying to make your voice even sweeter, you answer her question.
"Oh no Sakura-chan! Naruto-kun has nothing to do with this! I was just passing by and when I saw you…I needed to talk to you!"
Sakura looks at you strangely, but she keeps her mouth shut. Five minutes pass, and she seems to have her patience now like a thin thread.
"S-so…What did you w-wanted to tell m-me…" Sakura asks, with a twitch in her right eye. You smile sweetly and then…
"Is it true Sasuke kissed Ino and now both are about to marry?"
Her reaction is instantaneous. A dark aura surrounds her, and starts expanding itself. With an excuse me, your target leaves the area. You're left alone, smirking evilly all the while…
**
You walk calmly through the village, when then you find what you're looking for. A sales person is selling a mixture of different types of poop for gardening. You go towards the salesperson and you buy a jar with all the types of poop he's selling. Then, you paste a paper around it that says: "Beauty Miracle". Happily, you search for your target…
Haruno Sakura
Then you spot her. She's walking calmly with a pout in her face. What is horrible because, a pout in here face makes her look even more animalistic…in a bad way.
You call her and she turns to look at you, a frown in her stupid face.
"Yeah?"
"What happened yesterday?" you ask her sweetly. She turns to look at the groung with a bigger frown in her deformed forehead.
"Sasuke told me I was crazy because Ino was just a stupid fangirl like me that he will never like"
After hearing those words, you put a mask of pure sadness.
"I'm so sorry! I was the cause of all this!"
She turns to look at you with a glare, but still tells you that it wasn't your fault. You smile a bit innocently, and then you pass the jar in front of her, making sure she sees it. She grabs the bite, because she instantly grabs the jar containing the horrible mixture of poop and looks at it like it was the best prize in earth.
"Like it? This is what I use to look cute! I grease it over all my body and if you eat it with two crude eggs, makes you see even more perfect!"
Her eyes sparkle with joy and she asks you if you can give it to her. You answer yes, but she has to give you two hundred coins. Immediately, the kunoichi gives you all of her money and runs away with the jar. You smirk evilly and you start imagining how horrible she's going to look tomorrow with all the stinky substance covering every patch of her skin.
***
The next day, you're sitting on a branch of a tree, looking at the blue sky. Then a horrible odor interrupts your thinking. You turn to look below you and you find the pink bitch using the mixture of poop all over her skin. You chuckle a bit and then you take the black bubblegum that you were chewing and leaves the bubble gum fall all the way to her horrible pink hair.
You smirk one of all your evil smirks and you imagine her tomorrow…completely bald.
****
You are looking at the blond ninja train, and you sigh happily. He looks so ukeish like that! You imagine Sasuke appearing from nowhere and then starts kissing the dobe with fiery passion and then the moon gets ou-
"Hey Haruka" You almost choke yourself with your spit and turn around just to find Sakura still using the "Beauty Tonic" you gave her and with slightly longer hair. You smirk internally when you find that her hair is in fact a pink wig.
You give her a big smile, and then you turn around, just to find both of her teammates in there too. You groan a bit after seeing the teme (Sasuke) because you don't like him much either.
"Hey! How are you Sakura-chan!"
"I'm feeling prettier! Thanks for the tonic"
You suppress a chuckle after hearing that. You just nod savagely to her. Then she looks at the raven haired boy and her eyes turn flirty. You smirk when you think of an idea. When she's in front of the boy, you say that there's a cute butterfly flying and you try to catch it. Then you "accidentally" grab her wig and leave the horrible pink thing fall on the floor.
Sakura cries out and starts running in circles, then she leaves the area. .
*****
In the night, you enter Sakura's house and steals her wig, only replacing it with clown's one.
******
You're currently walking through the training area, looking for your favorite yaoi pairing, and then you find all of team 7 training. Looking at the convenient positions, your evil brain arms an evil plan.
Using your ninja skills, you hid yourself in the bushes and you start searching for a tiny rock. Finding it, you throw it towards Naruto…who is in front of Sasuke arguing with him.
The rock makes contact with Naruto's head, making him stumble down towards Sasuke. The result, both boys kissing, again.
Sakura runs away, while you have a huge mega nosebleed with just looking at both boys make out.
*******
Buying something to eat using Sakura's money, you find a blue haired guy who is looking at you with lust in his eyes. You shrug it off, and just continue eating your food. Then you see your target washing her face in the fountain that is located in the center of that park. You smile evilly and head towards her, when someone grabs your arm. You turn to look at the blue eyed boy from before just centimeters apart from you.
"Hey you bastard! Leave me alone! I need to cause suffering to the pink leech!"
The other, looks towards the girl then again at you. He then leave your arm alone and he head towards the pink bitch. You see curiously when he carries her, and throws her at the fountain. You feel you cheeks feeling warm and tears of happiness appear in the corner of you eyes.
'Nobody has done something so cute for me' you think with a smile, while everyone else is laughing there ass off.
********
You are in Sakura's room again but this time, you're there to leave a letter from Sasuke (of course it's really yours but you won't say it)
You wait outside of her room hidden, for Sakura to find it. When she finally finds it, you hear her shriek of banshee and then you see how she faints.
You laugh a lot because of what the letter says. It explains how Sasuke is telling her how gay he is and what he wants to do to the dobe.
You remember the huge nosebleed you got while writing the letter.
*********
You are currently inside the academy, in the records room. You're changing all of Haruno Sakura's grades to 0 and the positive notes to negative ones.
You laugh evilly while doing that.
**********
You go towards Sakura when you finally find her. You explain to her how much you hate her and that everything you gave her and told her was to make her life a pure hell.
She starts screaming like the banshee she is and takes off her clown's wig, then she runs through all Konoha…BALD.
You laugh evilly and you finally can say:
"Mission Accomplished!"
Then, the guy from before appears behind you and embraces you. He whispers in your ear some words that make your eyes widen.
"Maybe yours…but I still haven't finished my…mission"
You scream like a little girl and run away from the boy, while he tries to grab some of your ass.
Finished!!! I can't believe I've finished it!! I loved it x3
Please review and tell me what you think about it :DDD!!!