The second I opened the door, a strong smell of alcohol almost like hit me on the face and made me feel a bit nauseous. I could also hear loud music coming from the living room and so I made my way there after closing the front door.
And there he was. Laying on the couch with a bottle of vodka in hand. It was a sight that was too familiar to me already.
I walked to the couch and tapped his legs with my fingers a couple times, telling him to lift them to make some room for me on the leathery seat. And he did. Like always. I sat down to the soft seat and looked at him, probably looking really sad, 'cause he put the bottle down and sat up and cupped my face into his soft hands.
"Baby.. What's wrong?" He asked, his speech a bit slurred due to the alcohol, but still soft and caring.
"You...promised that you'd stop drinking.." I said softly and a bit carefully, knowing what his reaction could be. And it was just what I had feared.
He blinked a couple times and then let go of my me and picked the bottle up again.
"No I didn't. I never said anything like that." He said, all the softness gone from his voice now.
"Yes, you did. Just yesterday before we went to bed.." I said quietly and looked at him.
"No. I fucking did not." He said angrily and took a long gulp straight from the vodka bottle.
"Yes, you did.. You really need to stop." I said as I then reached for the bottle and took it from him.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Give it back! It's mine!" He yelled at me and tried to get the bottle back, but I just held it out from his reach stubbornly.
"No. You're not drinking any more tonight." I said sternly, trying to hide the fear in my voice.
And that's when it happened again. He hit me on my cheek. I felt tears well up in my eyes as the pain pulsed on my skin, but I held them back. I wouldn't cry. Not in front of him. Not now.
I just got up without saying a word and picked up my messenger bag from the floor and headed to the door. This was starting to be a pattern already. I come home, he's drinking. I tell him he should stop and he gets angry at me. I take his bottle away and he ends up hitting me. I get up and leave without saying a word. It happens at least three times a week. Usually on the weekends.
I could still hear him yelling at me as I closed the door and headed to the stairs. I knew he'd calm down eventually when he realises that I wasn't there anymore.
As I got outside, I threw the half-empty bottle into the dumpster on my way to Tommy's house. he was Adam's friend really more than mine, but I always went there when Adam got violent. He always let me crash on his couch for the night and I appreciated it.
And as I got to his apartment, I rang the doorbell, knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping yet. And I was right, because only seconds later, the door opened and Tommy stood there with a kind, understanding smile on his face.
"Adam again?" He asked as he let me in and closed the door.
"Yeah.. He was drinking again. And, like always, the same thing happened. Your couch free tonight?"
"Yeah. I kind of was waiting for you to show up already. Want some hot chocolate?" He smiled kindly and I nodded. We then spent the rest of the evening by watching comedy movies and went to sleep a bit before midnight.
I had gotten several calls and angry texts from Adam during the evening and night, but I ignored every single one of them. I didn't want to argue with him now.
Then, next morning, as we were eating breakfast, I got an idea that might or might not work.
"Hey, Tommy. Can I stay here for a couple days longer?" I then asked.
"Yeah. Sure. Why?" He asked and took a sip from his coffee.
"I.. I need to get Adam to think. To realize that if he keeps on doing what he does, then one day, I might not come back anymore.." I said and looked down at my own coffee cup.
"Oh. Sure. Of course you can. Stay as long as you want. I got some stuff I gotta do today, but you'll be fine on your own for couple hours, right?"
"Yeah. Sure. I'll be fine." I said and smiled a bit. He nodded and then we continued to eat the breakfast.
Then, that night, when I usually would go back home, I got a couple of phone calls from Adam, but as I didn't answer them, he didn't call again. I stayed at Tommy's place for three days before I decided that it was time to go back home.
And what I expected to see when I went home was a drunken Adam on the couch, pretty much in the similar position and condition as usually. But that wasn't what was waiting for me at home.
Because as I opened the door, there was no overwhelming smell of alcohol, no music, nothing. Just silence. It felt a bit eerie as I hadn't gotten used to such complete silence.
I quietly closed the door and dropped my messenger bag on the floor and then walked a bit deeper into the apartment.
"Adam? I'm home! You in here?" I then called and got no verbal answer, but instead I could hear footsteps pretty much running to the stairs on the second floor and then I saw Adam run down to the stairs. He didn't look drunk. Not at all. He just looked sad.
And then, as he got to the bottom of the stairs, he pulled me into a tight hug.
"I thought you weren't gonna come back anymore.." He said, his voice quieter and softer than it had ever been.
"I'm sorry, Honey. I really am. But I just had to do something to pull you back into reality." I said as I softly hugged him back.
"Back from where?" He then asked softly and pulled away from the hug enough to be able to look at me into my eyes.
"From your alcohol-filled world. You were always drinking. It was making me both sad and angry that whenever I saw you, you were either drunk or getting there. And the only thing I could think of doing to get you to open your eyes was to make you think that I wasn't gonna come back." I explained and saw realization hit Adam. His eyes widened a bit and he looked even more sad, but kind of relieved at the same time.
"You were about to leave me because of what I was doing..?" He then asked, like he wanted to be sure that he understood what I meant. I didn't say anything. I just nodded, because that was the only answer he needed.
"Oh, Sauli.. I'm so, so sorry. Can you please forgive me?" He then asked and looked at me with his gorgeous blue eyes.
"Yes. I can. But I need you to answer one question for me. Can you do that?" I asked and he nodded immediately, not hesitating at all.
I then reached to take a half-empty bottle of whiskey from the floor next to the couch and then showed it to him.
"Which one do you pick? This-" I asked and shook the bottle a bit. "-or me? Because you can't have both." I finished my question. The most important question I had ever asked from him. Adam looked at me for quite a while silently and then a small smile made it's way to his face.
"The dumpster's right under our kitchen window, right?" He then asked, still smiling.
"Yeah.." I answered, wondering what he was gonna do and why he asked about the dumpster.
"Okay. Good. Follow me, then." He said, not giving me much of a chance to say no, because he took my hand and led me to the kitchen window and opened it.
"And now, give me that, please?" He then said and pointed at the whiskey bottle I still had in my hand. I gave it to him without saying a word and then just looked at him, wondering what he would do with the bottle.
"And now, watch me." He smiled and then reached his hand out from the window as far as he could and then let go of the bottle, letting it fall into the dumpster and shatter into pieces.
"Of course I pick you. I love you so much. No drink is better than you." He then said softly and with a loving smile on his face. I looked at him silently for quite a while, but then a smile spread to my face and I pulled him into a tight hug. I couldn't help but smile at him and what he just did.
"I promise I will stop drinking." He then said and nuzzled my cheek.
And this time, he kept his promise.