Annoyed at how long his best friend was taking to get to the front door, the redheaded, forest green-eyed Jew sighed deeply. As a gust of cold wind blew past, he quickly zipped up his red-orange jacket and held his ushanka down on his head; the few ringlets of his curled hair that hung past the bottom of the hat blew softly around his head. He cursed and hit the front door harshly with his fist until it finally opened to a pale boy with short black hair in only a pair of baggy blue jeans that hung past the end of his feet. He didn't look happy, like the redhead had interrupted something.

"You couldn't wait?" He yelled.

"No!" The redhead shoved past his friend into the house. "Godammit Stan, I was freezing my ass off out there!" He took his ushanka off. "You'd think you could keep it in your pants for one day. I told Katrina that I'd be helping you with your homework today, and you knew I was coming over."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on…!" He threw his hands into the air. "If you were getting laid too, you'd understand. Speaking of which," he sat down next to his friend on the couch, "have you decided which company you're gonna buy your slave from next week when you turn seventeen?"

The redhead narrowed his eyes. "I don't want a slave, you know that."

"Jesus Kyle, you're such a prude! You act like it's not normal." For five years now it had become the norm at seventeen that the boys in South Park would order a sex slave from one of five companies from around Colorado, keeping them for six years before trying to find a potential bride. Stan had had one for four months and was loving it - Kenny and Cartman each had one too, Kenny for six months and Cartman for two.

"It's just not right to take advantage of someone like that." Kyle was the only straight boy in South Park who didn't want a sex slave, he absolutely hated the idea. (No one was sure why since he wouldn't give what could be considered a "valid" reason.)

Stan rolled his eyes again. "Whatever dude. I guess we should get to my homework so I can get back to Katrina." He smirked.

Kyle sighed and shook his head. "Go get your backpack."

Stan looked around and then pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He typed a quick text out and slid the phone shut again. He dismissed Kyle's complaints with a wave of his hand and then stood when a girl his age with chin-length blonde hair and one eye green and the other blue, in a matching red lacy bra and panty combo stopped at the bottom of the stairs holding a dark blue backpack.

The girl, Katrina, smiled at Kyle when he looked back at her. "Hey Kyle."

Kyle turned light red as his eyes ran up and down her body, acknowledging her slender, firm body and her long seductive legs. God, it was no wonder Stan constantly banged her, she was incredibly sexy. "Hey Katrina. How've you been?"

"Good. So," she followed Stan back to the couch and sat on his lap, "what company are you gonna buy your girl from?"

Kyle sighed again. "I'm not gonna buy one. I don't think having a sex slave is a good idea."

Katrina raised an eyebrow. "Kyle, you're either gay or an enigma."

Stan laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around Katrina's waist. "He's an enigma, always has been."

Kyle growled and pulled a math textbook out of the bright red backpack he'd brought along. "Let's just get to work. …Stan?" He looked over when he heard Katrina moaning and saw Stan kissing her neck and sliding one hand down the front of her panties. "Stan!" He smacked his friend on the back of the head.

"What the hell?" Stan rubbed the back of his head where he'd been hit. "Kyle!" He shot a glare at the redhead.

"Homework! Now!" Kyle nearly yelled as he threatened to smack Stan with the hardback textbook.

Stan cringed and waved Katrina away with sigh in order to avoid getting hit with the textbook. Kyle had hit him with one before and it hurt like hell, he'd prefer if it didn't happen again. "Fine, fine."

Katrina chuckled and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of both boys. "Algebra isn't all that hard if you ask me."

Stan made a face. "Well I didn't ask you." He glanced over at her. "I told you before that if you speak out of turn, I'd punish you."

She rested the tip of one finger on her lips and looked at him with seductive puppy eyes. "Please forgive me master, I won't do it again."

Kyle turned red again as he felt his pants tighten around his crotch. He might've been against the entire idea of having a sex slave, but it didn't mean that a seductive look wouldn't turn him on, even if it wasn't aimed even remotely near him - he needed to get laid. "Hey!" Kyle grabbed onto Stan's arm before he could tackle Katrina. "Homework!"

Stan glanced over at him with a knowing look when he heard the sharp upturn in his best friend's voice. "Dude, relax." He leaned back against the back of the couch. "You really need to get laid," he pointed at the bulge in Kyle's pants, "maybe then you'll stop getting hard every time Katrina's half-naked."

Kyle growled and smacked Stan's thigh with the textbook, earning short yelp. "Shut up dude." He flipped the textbook open to the chapter they had been on in class. "Now pay attention."

As they slowly did their Algebra homework, Kyle felt the heat and desire wash away from him and he couldn't have been happier. He hated getting turned on by Stan's slave, and she wasn't the only one. Kenny's slave, Lucrezia, could just look at him and get him hard, and Cartman's slave, Kyra, was so tired of Cartman already that she actually tried on multiple occasions to seduce him - it almost worked once. Sometime while they had been doing their homework, Katrina had gone upstairs and changed into a pair of skin-tight skinny jeans, a red low-cut button-up shirt that had a black rose snaking up the right side, and a bright red dog collar that had a small oval gold ID badge with her name and Stan's name engraved on it hanging from the front. Just as they noticed her disappearance, she sat back down on the floor in front of them. Kyle looked over at the digital clock on the end table next to the TV. He'd been there for nearly four hours, well over how long he thought he'd be there.

"Well," Kyle closed the textbook and slipped it back into his backpack, "I should head home. We can finish up tomorrow."

Stan nodded and closed his textbook as well. "Sounds good to me. Oh, Kyle."

The redhead looked at his friend as he reached for his ushanka. "What is it?"

He winked. "Remember that if you don't choose a slave yourself, me, Kenny, and Cartman will have to choose one for you."

Kyle groaned and pulled his hat down as far as it would go, nearly covering his eyes. Without a word of protest, since he knew Stan would actually go through with it, he walked out of the house back out into the cold. It had begun to snow. He walked down the street towards his house and muttered unenthusiastically, "Happy birthday to me."