When it began, Jack was always angry. He would throw and hit and break things, scream at nothing in particular. It was clear that, most times, he didnèt even register Lucinda's presence in the room. All she ever did was sit and cry.
She was, however, more than willing to accept his faults and wait for him to change. She loved him, after all. And that was what lovers did. One day, she would produce him an heir and they would get out of this place, where they could continue their lives together happily, instead of whatever they were doing now.
Eventually Jack stops being angry and just starts being vacant. He sits at the foot of the bed for what must be hours at a time, just staring blankly ahead, flinching away whenever Lucinda tries to touch him. She wonders what he must be thinking about. They've lost track of how long it's been.
The magic of Jack Benjamin wears off eventually enough. Lucinda soon realises that, although he isn't bad, he isn't at all what she hoped he would be. The Jack Benjamin she had loved would've swooped her up and gotten the job done so they could leave and start a real family. This Jack Benjamin was full of contempt. He had a sad sort of love in his eyes that she knew now was not for her. Jack cries in his sleep more often than he ought to.
She tells him this. Tells him it's fine to do it while he's awake. He can tell her whatever it is that's got him so upset. He screams at her to mind her own business and stops even looking at her. It's unfortunate, because although Jack isn't exactly good company, she can only re-read Pride and Prejudice so many times.
Eventually, Jack starts talking again. He doesn't say much. Just that he hates his father. He details the many ways he'd like to have his father killed. In one scenario he slits the king's throat with a piece of his own broken crown. Lucinda never knew Jack was so fond of dramatics. Then again, she hadn't known much about him to start with.
She comes to the conclusion that there was another woman before her. Someone who must have left or died before Jack was ready. She must have been fantastic, for Jack to be this constantly grief stricken over losing her. She doesn't try asking him about it this time, she can't stand to get the silent treatment again. Instead she asks him if he ever really loved her.
"I thought I did," is all he says.
"No, you didn't." He laughs, but there's nothing to it. It's hollow and it's empty and it feels like being gutted.
"You're right."
She wakes up in the night and he's crying again. She shuffles to the foot of the bed and puts her arms around him. This time, he doesn't flinch away.
One night while they both can't sleep, she tells him the story of her first love. His name was Shane and he used to braid daisies into her hair. She thought that she would marry him, once upon a time. Then, he went off to the war and she never saw him again. Jack seems frigid, like he's not sure what to do with this information. It seems like the story upsets him more than it should have, and now more than ever, Lucinda longs to know just what happened to him.
She asks if he's ever been in love. He hesitates for a while, staring out in front of him, and eventually she gives up all hope that he might answer her. Then, out of the blue, he says it.
"I was." Another long pause. "I still am."
She decides not to push it, since that's the most she's gotten out of him so far.
One day, there's a knock at the door. It's Michelle. Apparently, it's Jack's birthday. She tells them that their mother persuaded the king to let her come see him. She has cake. She cuts some for Lucinda, and she devours it like she's never had anything else all her life.
"Our father means to kill you if you don't comply."
"Fine," he says. "Let him."
"Not just you, Jack. Both of you."
"And what if we do give him a child, Michelle? What then? He raises it to be another fascist psychopath like him?"
"Then, Jack, you get to live." She shakes her head. "What did you do to our father to make him hate you so much?"
"I was born." He stands up and opens the door. "Thank you, Michelle. For the cake."
She kisses him on the cheek before she goes.
"Please reconsider, Jack. I want my children to know their uncle."
That night, they try. They really do try, but Jack can't make it work and soon he's crying and apologising and they both just go to sleep.
Eventually, Lucinda gets the idea of artificial insemination. Jack's been talking in his sleep, but all he ever says is a name. It all makes sense, really, and she's upset at herself for not noticing sooner.
She's 3 months pregnant when she finally asks.
"Who's Joseph?" Jack looks up at her. "You say his name in your sleep sometimes. I was just wondering, is all." He looks defeated, and she thinks this time he might really tell her.
"He's dead now. We... we were close." He can't speak anymore, because he's crying now, and she feels guilty for bringing it up. She doesn't go over and hold him.
2 weeks later he tells her everything. They don't speak again that day.
By the time she's 7 months pregnant she can barely move without assistance. She's far too young, her body is too fragile to support a child. Jack thinks his lover was murdered. She can't say she disagrees.
King Silas names the new baby Daniel.