Disclaimer: Glee and all its characters/plot belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox, not me. This is just for fun
Coming back to school should've been easier. The only reason Quinn hadn't minded putting away her Cheerios uniform was because she was pregnant. That was the reason she didn't have it anymore, and the reason she wasn't on the squad anymore.
So since she didn't have that problem anymore, it should've gone back to normal, right?
Absolutely not.
People still gave her that look: disgust mixed with pity.
Not only did she fall all the way to the bottom of the hierarchy, but she couldn't see any way back up.
And she couldn't concentrate on it when all she was focused on was Beth.
That little baby that she'd held just for a little bit, wrapped so tight and cozy in her pink blanket, with a grip on her finger so strong and sure. Quinn had felt like an anchor for her daughter, as if she were the only thing holding her to the world, and that if she let Beth go, that the world would come crashing down around all of them.
She'd let go. So why was the world going on so normally? She'd had a baby that had gotten her to where she was now, and she didn't even get the consolation of keeping Beth. Even though she wasn't in a position to raise her daughter, she wished she could have been.
Glee hadn't been like that, though. Mercedes had supported her through morning sickness and hysterical bouts of crying; no one could walk away from something like that and not have grown closer because of it. Kurt and Mercedes were attached at the hip, so she'd spent more time with him. And Brittany had been asking her if the baby would come out with a Mohawk like her daddy's.
Then there was the issue of said 'daddy.' Noah Puckerman. She'd punished him for what he'd done to her, without considering her part in it. She'd wallowed in self pity and clung to anyone willing to listen to a hormonal pregnant teenager.
But Puck hadn't been deterred. Far from it; he'd seemed to try and prove himself more and more as the pregnancy wore on, trying to prove that he could be a good father, anything but a Lima Loser.
And Quinn didn't want to acknowledge the closeness she felt towards him, the gentle pull of the boy who'd been her first, of the boy that had touched her gently, of the boy that was willing to put himself out there just for her.
Then there was Finn. She was sure he'd never speak to her again, but he'd come around eventually. He was still hesitant, and there was still Rachel to contend with, but she was no competition.
All she wanted was for things to be normal again. She couldn't do that now, not with being in Glee club and all.
But junior year was a different story. She'd come back to school with a fierce, determined attitude. She was going to forget that the last year had ever happened. It would not be spokeno f. She was going to be not just Quinn Fabray, but the Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader the girl every girl wanted to be and every guy wanted to be with. But they wouldn't get the chance; Quinn was going back to the Celibacy Club.
As if nothing ever happened.
That was why she needed Finn back. He was truly the best she could do in Lima, Ohio, and he was a reminder of how things used to be. When they were normal. So she snatched Finn from Rachel's clutches and toted him around, like an accessory instead of a boyfriend. After everything, she didn't really feel the same about him, but that didn't mean she couldn't pretend. She could still be in love with him.
As if nothing ever happened.
She knew that Coach Sylvester would take her back. The team wasn't the same since some of their best had graduated, and having Quinn back would help their chances at the competitions immensely. Besides, being on the Cheerios uniform and the head cheerleader title kept her safe from a Slushie attack. So Quinn walked tall through the halls of McKinley, commanding everyone's attention and getting away with being in Glee club and not getting her outfit ruined.
As if nothing ever happened.
But then things started happening that were even worse. While trying to climb back up to the top with her cheerleader status and possible Prom Queen title, Zises had to dredge up the past, and even after it surprisingly helped her campaign, it didn't win her the crown. Rachel still had her claws in Finn, whether he'd admit it or not, and Sam had slipped away. She hadn't kept up her newer friendships, and with Brittany and Santana as close as ever, she felt alone.
That shouldn't have happened. Feeling alone was something only acceptable at night, when she put her hand on her flat stomach and marveled at how she'd managed to fit a child in there, when she allowed herself a few tears and a feeling of loneliness, when she didn't want it to be as if nothing ever happened.
At Nationals, it was hard to think that a simple haircut could fix anything, that it could make her feel any better or get rid of this physical ache in her chest whenever she realized that she didn't have a daughter, not anymore.
It didn't fix everything, no, but it was a start.
This is my first fic for Glee - feedback? Pretty please?