A.N. Hello there! I know it's been a while since I posted; sorry 'bout that. I'm working on some more shippy fics, but this one just popped into my mind the other day. It's not quite up to par, but I hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein.
Beauty: Ten Things About Yumichika
1. The first thing Yumichika remembers is seeing a bright purple haori embroidered with green and blue flowers. He has no idea whose it was or what it was doing in the 79th district; he just knows it was beautiful.
2. Yumichika's propensity for dressing up manifested itself early on in his life. He remembers one day when he was hungry and managed to steal a loaf of bread from a street vendor. He was looking for a place to hide so he could eat it when he saw a girl sitting on the sidewalk, holding a light pink scarf embroidered with cherry blossoms, saying she'd exchange it for some food. Yumichika was so hungry he was dizzy and he couldn't see straight, and he had no idea when he was going to get more food again. That's why he took such good care of that scarf that it lasted him eight years of surviving in the 79th district.
3. Most people find it strange that Yumichika's best friend is Madareme Ikakku. Yumichika does too, on occasion, but, hell. Ikakku is Ikakku, and Yumichika wouldn't have him any other way.
4. There are legends floating around Seireitei about how Yumichika and Ikakku originally met. Some say the two challenged each other to a duel on sight, others that they banded together to kill a hollow. Due to the head wounds he sustained Yumichika doesn't remember all that much about it; he just knows is that, when he came to and helped Ikakku drag the bodies into a ditch, all Yumichika could think about was that he'd finally found someone who thought fighting was as beautiful as he did.
5. It used to be a common misconception, because Yumichika is naturally slender and – well, Yumichika – that he couldn't hold his liquor. Yumichika let everyone think so for years, until one day Iba, 7ths resident sake-guzzler, was stupid enough to tease him about it when he was in a bad mood. Yumichika challenged him to a drinking contest that night at the bar in front of most of the vice-captains and a good bunch of the officers in their divisions. The next morning, when Iba was in the 4th division recovering from his hangover, Yumichika made sure to stop in on his way to sparring to (loudly) say hello and make sure Iba wasn't 'too sick.' After that, even Kyouraku stopped bothering him about it.
6. The only thing Yumichika's ever kept a secret from Ikakku is his shikai. The only thing Yumichika doesn't know about Ikakku is why a man so wholly unconcerned with his appearance would shave his head every week. Yumichika considers them even.
7. Most of the new officers tend to think Yumichika's asexual, that he refuses to fuck anything he doesn't consider perfectly beautiful. Yumichika doesn't try to dissuade them. In fact, he tends to encourage this line of thinking. It makes the good-looking ones easier to seduce if they have no idea what he's doing.
8. One time, before Kenpachi and long before Seireitei, when he and Ikakku were still two kids traveling together through the back alleys of Rukongai, Yumichika fell ill with a fever. For four days Ikakku fed him, washed him, and made sure no one raped him. Four days with little food and no sleep in the dead of winter in one of the worst parts of the 78th district. The first thing Yumichika noticed when his fever broke was that Ikakku's hands were shaking. Ever since then he's thought Ikakku's hands were beautiful.
9. There are only eight people in all of Seireitei that Yumichika thinks are truly beautiful, and he has had sex with seven of them. The last one is Ukitake Jyuushiro, and the only reason Yumichika hasn't tried to seduce him is because he's a captain, and, even though Yumichika thinks it would be an amazing experience, he has too high a respect for rank to suggest anything. Besides, there are those rumors about Ukitake and Kotetsu Isane, anyway, so it would probably be useless to even try.
10. Above all things, Yumichika finds fighting and sex to be the best physical manifestations of beauty that he can find. Fighting, despite being ugly in a way, because, if done rightly, it can be a graceful dance, and makes him feel a mixture of adrenaline and bloodlust that's like nothing else. Sex, because although he may treat it as a pastime, if performed with the right partner to Yumichika it would mean more than words ever could. Yumichika's idea of a right partner would be someone who loves these as much as he does, and he's only ever been able to find one other person who does. Unfortunately, Ikakku still has the ridiculous idea that he's straight.
Yumichika's working on that.