Roxanne's Diary
Oc's and plot spoilers.
--------------
6:15 A.M.
Dear Diary,
I have remorse a lot since I was freed from that foul place that is hidden away in the hidden village of Zodiac. The Library of memories... that place that makes you become a slave and hold no heart or soul... it's completely horrid! Oh how I wish it was someone besides the Renegade's who saved me from that eternal prison, why did Yuan have to see me like that? With nothing but emptiness in my eyes that reflected my soul and heart. To hold no feelings yet to see, hear but not have the ability to speak of what you wish... your only purpose is to serve the Library Soul Leader, Zeriphec. And how he mistreated me... I do not wish to remember... but maybe if I write it down I'll get it off my mind... but to speak of the experience would be like choking on water, only instead my own tears of anguish and pain for what he did to me. He (Zeriphec) took my... my virginity. I'm ashamed that I was not able to fight back or defend what it means to be pure. I never really go out for I'm in fear that he's looking for me, waiting for me to leave my small house near Altimera... to leave my sanctuary of safety. I never really told Yuan what happened to me while I was there for all we do at the moment is writing to each other, just to check up on me. He won't say anything about what has happened since I became a servant; he's probably waiting for me to overcome my fears and step outside again. I think I'll set up a meeting with him soon... only I'll set it in a city so I'll have places to hide or run, just in case.
How I desire to learn about what I missed, for before I became a slave the memories I remember are: Living in Hiemdal and pleading with mother to adopt Felix, a half-elf even though I'm an elf, I also remember studying in Zodiac for a bit, but I eventually returned to Hiemdal, where I'd spend hours with Yuan, Mithos, Felix, and Martel. I still remember the day we met Kratos as well, I was so flustered because I fell out of a tree when I was the 'responsible' one of the group. I remember going to Zodiac after the Kharlan War broke out, and in Zodiac I learned healing arts, sword play, other sorts of fighting (with my feet), magic, and there is where I received my cruxis crystal, and I used it to stop my internal clock making me live for a longer time than normal elves (I also gained purple and black wings!) Felix also received a cruxis crystal and he stopped his internal clock as well (he got yellow and white wings). I remember the news Mithos brought us after he, Yuan, Kratos and Martel stopped the Kharlan War... and when Martel was killed. That was so horrible! Yuan was suppose to marry Martel too. I believe that's when Mithos started to go insane... the loss of his sister broke him in ways battle never could, and to think he use to be so nice.
I remember Kratos breaking away from Cruxis and meeting Anna. Never were there two so in love as they! The soon had a son named Lloyd, and he was so adorable! He called me pixie angel when he could finally talk, it was so adorable! Then I remember the horrible news that day when Yuan came to me and told me that Anna was turned into a monster. He told me everything that he had heard; that Kratos had killed her and before he could retrieve Lloyd they (Anna, Noishe, and Lloyd) along with the gem that made the Desians go after them in the first place, fell down a cliff. Well after Kratos handled Kvar he went down the cliff... only to find half eaten desian corpses. It was some of the most horrible news ever; to think little Lloyd was lost at such a young age. Kratos then returned to Cruxis (which was stupid of him). Felix on the other hand took a more peaceful route, he learned crafting techniques and now he makes weapons, armor, key crests (on occasion) and other such things, he also studies about mana, monsters and the summon spirits (he has been fascinated with them since he was young).
And for me... I took up the job as healer at Zodiac and I was granted permission to go to the Library of Memories to acquire information about a patient who had passed away... and that's when my trouble started. Zeriphec often stalked me in his attempt to get a new servant because his last passed away. He and the mayor have an agreement not for him to request anymore from the town unless they stray towards the library when he was in need of one. Well I constantly wrote of my problems to Felix, requesting his assistance but he always wrote back noting how 'busy' he was. When I wrote to Yuan he told me to keep my cool and if he attempted anything to fight back. This piece of information I knew was the best I could possibly get because Yuan was busy running the Renegades. So I stuck with the plan and everything was going fine with no problems. But this one day, oh my, the doctor at Zodiac pleaded with me to acquire a memory bottle to bring back this one trauma patient's memory. I finally gave in and got authorization from the mayor who told me to be cautious. No problem right? Heh, I could only wish, I got there and whaddya know, but Zeriphec is waiting for me. I tried to fight back, I earnestly did! I used magic, swordplay, and my feet... everything! I even tried my over limit attack: Pure Judgment. But he managed to beat me making me venerable enough to spells that take over minds, by suppressing the heart and soul, almost as if I was a chosen waiting to receive Martel's soul in exchange for my life. And during that time it was pure hell. I'm grateful for Yuan's rescue, but slightly embarrassed of the situation. I really honestly wish Yuan hadn't seen me so... empty, it was as if you were talking to and expheare that only knows how to say:" I will go get the master." I'm just thankful to be myself again, and I swear when I know I'm ready, I'll kill you Zeriphec! No one should face the hell I did, NO ONE! Zeriphec your mine BITCH!