THE CHICKEN LOLLIPOP SHOW
HOSTED BY NOODLEBOOTY, AKA JUSTINE GOMEZ
CO-HOSTED BY TWINKIE, AKA JENNY DE AVILA
KIDNAPPING PEOPLE SINCE WHO GIVES A DAMN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NB: Hi, I am the one, the only, host of this god foresaken show. Yes, I am great. Anywho, this is my wacky co-host, which of course we just have to have, TWINKIE!
T: HI!! I need ritalin. That's what she told me, yep.
NB: And that is because you do. Now, before we get to the real guest, our special, but not quite as special as the real guest, is...
T: (singing to self) Chicken...I'm eating a chicken...in the bath tub.
NB: AHEM. You're supposed to tell them what our crappy guest which leads up to the good guest is...REMEMBER?
T: Um...OK? We're having...CHICKEN! No, I want potatoes. No, wait, wait, wait, what about Scary Monkey!! I like monkeys.
NB: Oooo-kay. Well, prepare your scalps for our little lice infested friend, and, no, I don't mean Twinkie. (monkey pops outta ground)
SM: (sits there and starts picking lice from his head)
T: (hysterical laughter) You so crazy!!
NB: Twinkie, we just received some terrible news...but, the monkey has to go. He s an extreme health hazard. I sorry. I feel the pain, we all do.
T: But...but... I loved him!! We he got to go?! WHY?!?!
NB: Thanks a lot, health department, he was gonna teach us how to make waffles. Sic' em, my crazed, wacky, early morning talk show sidekick!! Go, go, run, run!!
T: I'm gonna' bite you!! (chases guys in white lab coats making chomping noises)
NB: Oh, thank god! It's time for the real guest! Mr. Jhonen Vasquez type person!!! (Jhonen Vasquez pop outta ground holding a slurpee[tm])
JV: Oh, Jeezus Christ!!! Where the hell am I?! Who are you?! And who are YOU?!! Where am I?!!
NB: You're on the Chicken Lollipop Show!! Good for you!
JV: I'm on the what now?
NB: (hysterically) I didn't know what to call it!!! Oh, god, stop tormenting me!! NO!! Stop the verbal abuse!! I can't handle it!! My sanity is about as strong as a wet noodle on a hot sunny day!!!!
JV: (worried) Please, Ms. kidnapper person, I want to LIVE. I no wanna' die! If you spare me my life I will grant you 5 wishes!! More than damn fish can grant any day!!!
NB: Hmmmmm...
T: NO!! Da' torturin', 'member? You promised me!! Why you gotta' lie like dat?! WHY?!?!
JV: Um...why am I here?
NB: It's just questions-questions with you, isn't it? Well, ya' know what? This is my show, I ask the questions, you answer, got it?! NOW, Twinkie, ask the nice man a question.
T: You change your hair color thing.
JV: Yeeeeah...
T: Why?
JV: Cuz the magical gnomes come out of my socks at night and tell that if I don't dye it, they'll kill me in my sleep.
T: I knew they were real. Those same gnomy things tell me to burn things.
JV: Please don't tell me you listen to the gnomes.
T: OK, I'll tell you that, but it still don't make it the truth. Why do you make comic book- things? (everyone looks at her) Sometimes I'm weird, sometimes I'm...weird.
JV: Cuz I think it's cool and fun and...I dunno'.
T: No, it's not. You're wrong. Wrong!!
NB: Why does all our real names begin with a 'J'?
JV: Your name starts with a 'J'?!!
NB: Yes, yes, yes, answer the god foresaken question.
JV: Cuz that's what Jeezus would do.
NB: That son of a beaver, he did just cuz his name starts witha 'J'!! That's it!! I'm becoming an atheist!!
T: Your definition of a knuckle sandwich. Mmmm...sandwich.
JV: (digging up deep childhood memories) A threat from kids who can only draw stickfigures. Cuz you don't draw the 'traditional' way. Cuz you question the god damn teachers teachins'!!! They laugh at you cuz they're all jealous...
NB:(sarcastically interupting) Yeeah...jealous, of course that's it.
JV: ...of the way you can draw and they can't draw a shitty piece of shit!! Well, who's laughing now? Who's laughing now?!!!
NB: Well, I can't wait for the emotional trauma cycle that is hi skool now.
T: Yeah...hi skool's gonna' rock.
NB: Can you honestly say you are sane?
JV: WHY?! Who told you I wasn't?! Was it the lady from the bus stop? I knew it!! That son of a bitch is gonna get it now!!! In the library, with a wrench and a plum...(everybody's looking a little creeped out. Relizes they are listening) Oh, was I using my outside voice?
T: Why do I have to go to bed at 9:30?
JV: Ya' see, it's an international conspiracy, kids' have to go to bed early. If you stay up late, this radar thing can sense your happiness and they swoop in on their stealth-fighters and plant a bug into your brain that turns your brain meats into government cheese. And THAT is exactly why people who suffer from insomnia or weird and/or goth.
T: I KNEW IT!!!
NB: Can I have your boot?
JV: No, how will I get home?
NB: Does it look like I care? I just want your boot. Well, this is the end of the Chicken Lollipop Show. This is just the introduction, in eppie 2 we actually conceive a 'PLOT'. Have a nice night and don't, I repeat don't, touch the pretty, dancing fire, no matter how tempting it may seem. Good night!!
T: Please, no pictures. You never know how those internet junkies will use them. Damn them.
JV: Can I pleeease go home, now?
NB: No. And, nobody likes a whiner, 5 more episodes has just been added to your contract.
JV: There's a contract?!
THE END!!!
A TwinkieNoo Production
[not associated with DesiLu]
HOSTED BY NOODLEBOOTY, AKA JUSTINE GOMEZ
CO-HOSTED BY TWINKIE, AKA JENNY DE AVILA
KIDNAPPING PEOPLE SINCE WHO GIVES A DAMN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NB: Hi, I am the one, the only, host of this god foresaken show. Yes, I am great. Anywho, this is my wacky co-host, which of course we just have to have, TWINKIE!
T: HI!! I need ritalin. That's what she told me, yep.
NB: And that is because you do. Now, before we get to the real guest, our special, but not quite as special as the real guest, is...
T: (singing to self) Chicken...I'm eating a chicken...in the bath tub.
NB: AHEM. You're supposed to tell them what our crappy guest which leads up to the good guest is...REMEMBER?
T: Um...OK? We're having...CHICKEN! No, I want potatoes. No, wait, wait, wait, what about Scary Monkey!! I like monkeys.
NB: Oooo-kay. Well, prepare your scalps for our little lice infested friend, and, no, I don't mean Twinkie. (monkey pops outta ground)
SM: (sits there and starts picking lice from his head)
T: (hysterical laughter) You so crazy!!
NB: Twinkie, we just received some terrible news...but, the monkey has to go. He s an extreme health hazard. I sorry. I feel the pain, we all do.
T: But...but... I loved him!! We he got to go?! WHY?!?!
NB: Thanks a lot, health department, he was gonna teach us how to make waffles. Sic' em, my crazed, wacky, early morning talk show sidekick!! Go, go, run, run!!
T: I'm gonna' bite you!! (chases guys in white lab coats making chomping noises)
NB: Oh, thank god! It's time for the real guest! Mr. Jhonen Vasquez type person!!! (Jhonen Vasquez pop outta ground holding a slurpee[tm])
JV: Oh, Jeezus Christ!!! Where the hell am I?! Who are you?! And who are YOU?!! Where am I?!!
NB: You're on the Chicken Lollipop Show!! Good for you!
JV: I'm on the what now?
NB: (hysterically) I didn't know what to call it!!! Oh, god, stop tormenting me!! NO!! Stop the verbal abuse!! I can't handle it!! My sanity is about as strong as a wet noodle on a hot sunny day!!!!
JV: (worried) Please, Ms. kidnapper person, I want to LIVE. I no wanna' die! If you spare me my life I will grant you 5 wishes!! More than damn fish can grant any day!!!
NB: Hmmmmm...
T: NO!! Da' torturin', 'member? You promised me!! Why you gotta' lie like dat?! WHY?!?!
JV: Um...why am I here?
NB: It's just questions-questions with you, isn't it? Well, ya' know what? This is my show, I ask the questions, you answer, got it?! NOW, Twinkie, ask the nice man a question.
T: You change your hair color thing.
JV: Yeeeeah...
T: Why?
JV: Cuz the magical gnomes come out of my socks at night and tell that if I don't dye it, they'll kill me in my sleep.
T: I knew they were real. Those same gnomy things tell me to burn things.
JV: Please don't tell me you listen to the gnomes.
T: OK, I'll tell you that, but it still don't make it the truth. Why do you make comic book- things? (everyone looks at her) Sometimes I'm weird, sometimes I'm...weird.
JV: Cuz I think it's cool and fun and...I dunno'.
T: No, it's not. You're wrong. Wrong!!
NB: Why does all our real names begin with a 'J'?
JV: Your name starts with a 'J'?!!
NB: Yes, yes, yes, answer the god foresaken question.
JV: Cuz that's what Jeezus would do.
NB: That son of a beaver, he did just cuz his name starts witha 'J'!! That's it!! I'm becoming an atheist!!
T: Your definition of a knuckle sandwich. Mmmm...sandwich.
JV: (digging up deep childhood memories) A threat from kids who can only draw stickfigures. Cuz you don't draw the 'traditional' way. Cuz you question the god damn teachers teachins'!!! They laugh at you cuz they're all jealous...
NB:(sarcastically interupting) Yeeah...jealous, of course that's it.
JV: ...of the way you can draw and they can't draw a shitty piece of shit!! Well, who's laughing now? Who's laughing now?!!!
NB: Well, I can't wait for the emotional trauma cycle that is hi skool now.
T: Yeah...hi skool's gonna' rock.
NB: Can you honestly say you are sane?
JV: WHY?! Who told you I wasn't?! Was it the lady from the bus stop? I knew it!! That son of a bitch is gonna get it now!!! In the library, with a wrench and a plum...(everybody's looking a little creeped out. Relizes they are listening) Oh, was I using my outside voice?
T: Why do I have to go to bed at 9:30?
JV: Ya' see, it's an international conspiracy, kids' have to go to bed early. If you stay up late, this radar thing can sense your happiness and they swoop in on their stealth-fighters and plant a bug into your brain that turns your brain meats into government cheese. And THAT is exactly why people who suffer from insomnia or weird and/or goth.
T: I KNEW IT!!!
NB: Can I have your boot?
JV: No, how will I get home?
NB: Does it look like I care? I just want your boot. Well, this is the end of the Chicken Lollipop Show. This is just the introduction, in eppie 2 we actually conceive a 'PLOT'. Have a nice night and don't, I repeat don't, touch the pretty, dancing fire, no matter how tempting it may seem. Good night!!
T: Please, no pictures. You never know how those internet junkies will use them. Damn them.
JV: Can I pleeease go home, now?
NB: No. And, nobody likes a whiner, 5 more episodes has just been added to your contract.
JV: There's a contract?!
THE END!!!
A TwinkieNoo Production
[not associated with DesiLu]