A/N: Originally written for KH Drabble Community's Challenge #306, Defend.
"You can always rebuild a city, but you can't rebuild your family when it's gone," his father had once told him when Leon had been so unimaginably angry at him that he had promptly told him to just disappear.
Back then, he hadn't really known what Laguna had meant; the brunet had just been intent on hating the man's guts because he'd thought that he was a bad parent. Looking back to that moment now, however, he couldn't agree more with his father (and feel horrible for all the times that he had hurt the incredibly vocal man. Ashamed too, because in the end, it had been Leon who had screwed up majorly, not Laguna).
Everyone had paid a huge prize for surviving the war, there was no doubt about that. Yuffie threw tantrum to mask the pain. Cid was the most bitter man Leon had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Aerith was worried about every little thing, startled by the softest sound…
As for Leon, he had lost his world, his home, his friends and family. His everything.
And above all, he'd lost her…
The only person who could make him smile and take things easy. The one who had somehow managed to squirm her way into his heart and turn him from an antisocial teenager to an awkward, less antisocial one.
Needless to say, when they had set foot in the quiet and cozy Traverse Town, he'd had nothing left to live for. He'd wanted to die. He had been an empty shell with merely a beating heart and perpetual guilt to keep him troubled for the rest of his life. But, he'd been alive. Although "alive" was certainly an understatement; he could have dropped dead and no one would have noticed the difference (they still didn't if he had to believe Yuffie).
But could anyone blame him, when one moment he'd woken up as Squall Leonhart, whose world was still intact and next…
Utter nothingness.
Leon would never be able to forget about the past, no matter how hard he tried. It would always chase after him. There were more than enough lonely nights in which he woke up from vivid nightmares that reminded him why his blood sometimes turned icy cold…not to mention the scar that he loathed so much.
At the same time, he was happy that he hadn't come out of the fight completely scot-free…as sick as that might sound.
That night had screwed him up way more than he dared to admit to himself.
Perhaps it was the unknown and the scary 'what ifs' that had turned Leon into an overprotective bastard, guarding his new, just as twisted family with his life, like they were a treasure and the only link left to his sanity. Yes, they all annoyed him to death, but that didn't mean that Leon wouldn't miss their constant nagging after a while.
He'd much rather be a victim of Yuffie's harsh pranks, Cid's cussing and Aerith's eternal mothering for the rest of his life than having to face this world alone.
Because let's face it; nobody wanted to be alone. Leon was no exception to that rule, even if he always claimed the opposite.
You can always rebuild a city, but you can't rebuild your family when it's gone. Unfortunately, Leon had learned that the hard way, and he still couldn't forgive himself for letting that happen.
And if it was up to him, he was never going to experience that pain and feeling of loss again… One name change per lifetime was more than enough, honestly.