A/N: So here's our first story. It's a more entertaining version of the Hunger Games. Welcome to the dark side. Katniss's perspective is in normal text, and Gale's perspective is in italics.
Chapter One: Crazy Katniss Plays "Nice"
So Gale has this new girlfriend.
I don't even know her name. She's blonde, one of those typical pretty, merchant girls. I've never met her, so she could be incredibly nice and wonderful and Gale could be in the best relationship in the world, but I honestly don't care about Blondey (as I've so affectionately started to refer to her in my head) at all. She's caused a giant problem in my life, and that I cannot forgive.
Said major problem is Gale's punctuality.
She's basically destroyed it. In the month that Gale and Blondey have been dating, he has been getting progressively later to our meeting spot. Yesterday he was actually an hour or two late. I'm waiting for him to just not show up one day.
I've tried to play nice and believe his lame excuses ("There were Peacekeepers swarming the square, didn't you see?" "Of course, Gale. Of course I saw the Peacekeepers."), but I'm beyond that now. Blondey is stealing away my hunting partner, and Prim's too thin for me to ditch him.
Good hunting partners are hard to come across, after all.
Besides, Gale's been my best friend for four years now. I can't say I'd handle losing him too well.
Gale promised he'd be on time tonight, but the joke's on him because I'm going to be a little late today. I've got some… hunting of my own to take care of.
/
Damn Katniss and her controlling behavior.
She doesn't get like this often, but when she goes on a control binge, she makes me aware of it every moment of my life. Most of the time, hunting in the forest with her is an enjoyable experience, and I actually look forward to it, but lately, she's made it a few painful hours of my life.
Okay, sure, I've been pretty late the past few days, but doesn't she understand that there are other things going on in my life besides hunting?
Katniss is making it really hard for me to want to even talk to her right now, but I've known her for way too long for this to ruin our friendship. We've survived harder times than this, and my girlfriend is the thing that sets her off? Seriously, four years of hunting together, and she won't allow me to have a girlfriend?
Well, she better be happy because I'm actually going to be on time today.
Something in the square catches my eye, and I recognize Katniss immediately. I'm momentarily puzzled over why she's in the square, but then I realize that she's cornering someone in an alleyway.
And that someone is my girlfriend.
/
"Katniss, what the hell are you doing?"
I take a step away from Gale's girlfriend, but I make sure not to let her out my punching range in case I need to put her in her place again. Lucky for me, his girlfriend looks so intimidated by me that she stays leaned back against the brick wall of the alleyway, seemingly paralyzed by my threats.
I direct my attention over to Gale, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, lovely timing, Gale," I say bitterly. "It appears you can be on time for some things."
Gale's eyes narrow at my comment, but he just repeats his question. "What the hell are you doing?"
I look back over at Blondey and offer my most terrifyingly joyful smile. "We were just having a chat."
Gale looks at me suspiciously, and, if his girlfriend was any less of an annoying person and was able to look less scared, I might have been able to ice over this whole situation with a nice dash of cheerfulness, but Blondey hates me enough to keep the shocked expression on her face.
"Just having a chat, huh?" Gale asks darkly. "It definitely looked like a nice chat while I was running over here."
I can't really figure out how to respond to that, so we sort of drop into an awkward silence. Gale looks over at Blondey to see if she'll answer, but she just silently asks him for help with her eyes. That coward. He looks his girlfriend up and down, and unfortunately I think he notices the slight swelling of her jaw.
His thunderhead gray eyes light up with anger. "Katniss, did you punch her?"
I shrug. I consider lying, but it tastes weird as it pops into my mouth. It's been a long time since I tried lying to Gale, which makes the whole situation funnier because Gale must lie to me a lot. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," I say.
That comment is like trying to calm a bear by poking it with a stick.
"What is wrong with you, Katniss?" he growls.
"I don't see what I've done wrong here," I say.
Gale's looks undeniably frustrated. "You can't just punch my girlfriend for no reason!" he shouts. "What is your problem?"
"What's my problem?" I retaliate, suddenly feeling extremely angry at Gale. "What's your problem? You're the one who's stopped coming to the forest to keep his own family fed!"
"I have a life outside hunting, Katniss!" Gale says sharply. "Just because you don't doesn't mean you can't allow me something pleasurable!"
I bristle and shrink backwards. "Okay, fine. I'm sorry I punched your stupid girlfriend. I'm just trying to keep our families alive. That's something you used to care about."
I can tell that wounds Gale a little, but he's still not done being angry. He lets out a dark sigh and moves aside from the entrance to the alleyway. "You can just go," he says, pointing back towards the Seam. "Just go."
I grit my teeth. "Fine, Gale. I'll just go hunt by myself for a little while just like I've been doing for a couple weeks now. I hope you're having fun doing whatever is the two of you do when we're supposed to be hunting."
"Just shut up!" Gale yells. "You are such a problem!"
I stalk away before anything else can be said. I keep my arms crossed over my chest in righteous anger until I'm out of view. Then I start kicking up rocks and killing all the bugs that scurry through my path to get rid of my anger. I mutter curses under my breath, some directed at Gale but most directed at Blondey for changing him.
I stalk off into the forest to do some hunting, but it doesn't go very well. Gale doesn't show up at all, and I only manage to kill two rabbits in my rage. Gale's snares haven't caught anything either.
Looks like we're going hungry tonight.
Life sucks when you've lost your hunting partner and best friend all in one day.
/
I let Katniss get out of sight before I turn back to my girlfriend. She looks remarkably less tense with Katniss a safe distance away, but there's also a lot of confusion written all over her face.
"Tulip, I am so sorry for whatever Katniss just did," I say, moving further into the alley to get a closer look at the damage done.
She shakes her head, eyebrows knitting together a little. "It's… alright. It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is. Katniss has had an extreme case of separation anxiety lately. She's just taking her anger at me out on you," I reply simply. I reach out and hook a finger under her chin to turn the injured part of her jaw towards me. I run my thumb over the bruise, and it feels swollen.
"Gale—"
"She hit you really hard, didn't she?" I ask. I tip her head back a little so that the light coming into the alley lands on the purplish mark.
"I guess," Tulip replies. I know she's trying to brush it off like it was nothing, but I'm too pissed off with Katniss to let it go.
"God, I'm sorry I brought the devil upon you," I sigh. "She's never going to like you— not that her opinion matters at all."
Tulip turns her head back so that she can look up at me. "Do you think Katniss is at all jealous? Of us, I mean. Of our relationship."
I find the idea of Katniss having feelings for a guy— let alone me— so offsetting that I immediately deny the possibility. "Katniss… jealous?" I say. "Somehow, I doubt it."
"I mean, after she got her fist off my face, her main argument was the fact that you not coming hunting for hours on end was starving both of your families, but it seemed like there was something else going on beneath the surface…" Tulip says slowly.
I reach out and grab her hand. "I highly doubt that she's jealous. I'm guessing she's literally just angry at me because I've been late. It's the sort of thing she gets stuck on."
Tulip sighs. "Well, I certainly hope she's not jealous."
I laugh a little. "She's not. If she had feelings for any guy, she'd be the last to know. She doesn't recognize things like that until they're standing right in front of her."
Tulip smiles a little. "Whatever you say, Gale."
I lean forward and kiss the bruised spot on her jaw, lingering just a bit too long for it to be considered solely comforting. "You'd better get home and put ice on that so that it doesn't stay too swollen and bruised."
Tulip grins. "Whatever. These are the battle scars of winning Gale Hawthorne."
I laugh and take her hand to lead her out of the alley. We walk in silence for a moment or two towards Tulip's house in the merchant strip.
"Are you going to go hunting with Katniss after this?" Tulip asks.
"To hell with that," I reply. "I'm done with her for today. I'll go when I know she's already trading."
"Good, I'd hate for our relationship to be in the way of your family surviving," she says, looking down at the pavement.
"It's not in the way of anything," I insist, leaning over to kiss her temple. "Katniss was just being dramatic. Forget about whatever she said."
"Alright," Tulip replies. We reach her house, and she bobs up onto her toes to kiss me on the lips once. With a final smile, she goes inside— to ice her face, I hope.
Then, I'm left to wander off towards the Seam to (hopefully) avoid Katniss until I'm calm enough to talk to her again.
/
The lone huntress sits unaccompanied at lunch- not like that's unusual.
Oh well. I guess it's lonely at the top sometimes.
I pick the knife up off my tray of food that I don't plan on eating. It's decently sharp- albeit a little rusty- and I could totally kill someone with it. And I think I know who I would like to stab most in this school.
I watch Gale sitting with his girlfriend over on the other side of the lunch room with some of the other eighteen-year-olds. I'm pleased to see that there's a nice bruise on Blondey's jaw. They both look like they're having a jolly good time over there. I finger the blade of my knife and briefly wonder what it would feel like to sink it into the wood of this table.
"Katniss?"
"What do you want, Madge?" I growl before I can pause to think about who I'm talking to. I guess I'm just deflecting my anger at whoever's nearest. Madge looks taken aback by it for a second, but she sits down across from me anyway. My eyes shift back to Gale and Blondey, and Madge follows my gaze over her shoulder. "Well," she starts, "it looks like you're glaring at Gale or the girl next to him-"
"Both, actually," I snarl.
"Is that why you're fingering your knife all dangerously?" she asks.
I put the knife back down on the table. I didn't realize I was being that obvious about it. Maybe that's why all the people sitting near us have scooted even farther away.
When I don't say anything, Madge starts eating her lunch. Mine remains untouched as I continue to glare moodily at Gale and his girlfriend every couple of seconds. At one point, Gale looks up and catches my eye. He sighs a little and raises an eyebrow at me. I quickly look away and realize that my hands go for the knife again.
You know, it's really a wonder that this doesn't deter girls from going after Gale. Well, I suppose Katniss-the-nasty-side-effect makes Gale no less desirable. Honestly, I don't understand why Gale likes them either. They're all air-heads. They're useless. At least I can hunt and help keep his family alive. Why are they worth more to him then?
Madge gets up to throw away her trash, and I follow her even though my food's untouched. Why I have decided to stop eating is a mystery even to me, considering I'll probably end up feeding Prim my fair share of dinner tonight anyway. Maybe at some point I'll start losing weight and dying, and Gale will actually start caring enough to come hunting.
As I watch my perfectly good lunch plummet into the dark depths of the trash can, I see Gale and Blondey foolishly stand up and start walking this way.
"Oh my god, Madge," I say sarcastically, grabbing hold of her arm. "She's walking into my range."
"What range?"
"Throwing range, Madge," I say, holding my knife up again. "Throwing range." Madge mutters something under her breath and walks away, obviously not wanting to be part of this anymore. That leaves me standing by the trash cans, fingering the tip of my blade, when Gale and Blondey approach. They both falter a bit at the sight of me.
"What the hell are you doing, Katniss?" Gale asks me sharply. This takes me a little while to process because he's just called me Katniss. It's been a long time since he's called me that instead of Catnip.
"Cutting up my food," I reply sharply, holding up the knife.
"By the trash can?"
"Yes, by the trash can. Where do you cut up your food? By your table? That's absurd," I say sarcastically. I point the knife at him somewhat threateningly. "What do you think I'm doing?"
He just ignores that and walks away with Blondey. He casts one last dark look over his shoulder at me, and I glare right back before I storm back to my seat. I drop into my seat across from Madge and toss the knife back onto the table.
"You didn't throw it at her?"
"No. I didn't."
/
I watch Katniss leave school with Prim, and I feel a twinge of guilt. As angry as I am at Katniss, I can't stop worrying about them. I don't know if I'm just imaging it, but Katniss looks even thinner than normal- if that's possible.
For a second, I think I might just leave school now and hunt with her, but I look at Tulip's slightly bruised jaw and am able to banish that thought.
"What's wrong, Gale?"
Tulip's voice draws me out of my worrying.
"Nothing," I reply as Katniss disappears from sight headed towards the Seam. "It's nothing." I repeat that mostly for my sake, but I can't shake this nagging feeling like I should talk to Katniss. What if she really is suffering because we're not hunting together? What if I really am hurting her?
I really shouldn't care. I have a right to be angry. She did punch my girlfriend after all…but it seems like we've been friends far too long for this to kill our relationship.
I get one look at my siblings as I walk into my house, and I walk right back out the door towards the forest.
I don't care if I'm mad at Katniss right now. My family needs to eat and so does Katniss's. We've always worked better together. I decide our need to survive outweighs my pathetic anger.
Let's hope this doesn't backfire.
/
There it is. A foolish little squirrel. It chews on its nut, completely and blissfully oblivious to my presence. I pull the string back on my bow and let out a slow breath, aiming for its glassy, black eye.
The arrow hits the squirrel dead on, clean through its pupil. Its nut drops to the forest floor, uneaten. I yank the arrow out unceremoniously and toss the squirrel into my game bag. I don't have much to bring home today, just this squirrel and a rabbit I took from one of Gale's snares.
I considered taking all of the rabbits from all of his traps, but then I realized I wouldn't just be hurting Gale by doing it. I'm all for hurting Gale, but I want his little siblings to eat too. So I took just one. I figured it would be enough to tick him off, but not enough to make his family go hungry.
I creep slowly through the forest, my ears carefully tuned to every sound. Suddenly, there's a slight, barely audible snapping of a twig, and I whirl around. My bow is drawn and the arrow is shot before I even process what's standing in front of me.
"GALE?!" I scream.
He drops to his knees, clutching his shoulder. "Damn it, Katniss!" There's an arrow lodged in the tree directly behind him. Fortunately and unfortunately, it appears I've just opened a deep gash across his shoulder.
"GALE!" I scream again. I run forward and pull his bloody hand away from the gash. What have I done?
"What is wrong with you?" we both shout at the same time.
"What's wrong with me?" we retort at the same time.
"You snuck up on me when I was in the zone!" I shriek. "You should know better."
"You shot at me!" he retorts. His shirt's already soaked with blood. I've really screwed up this time.
"Oh god, Gale," I say. "I need to get you home to my mom and Prim. They'll fix you up… oh god…"
And that's how I ended up dragging Gale down the main street towards my house. We manage to attract less attention than I would have thought.
"MOTHER?" I scream as I barge into our small house. "PRIM?" They both come running towards the door, and they're greeted by the sight of me supporting a very bloody Gale. They look confused. "I shot Gale," I clarify.
"Katniss?!" My mother shrieks, horrified.
"Don't ask!" I practically scream. "Just fix him!"
Prim and my mother bandage Gale up in no time, and they assure him that it's not that bad. I don't even manage to say I'm sorry before he storms out. I lay down in bed in a huff and refuse to take a bite of the rabbit stew my mom makes. I go to bed without eating anything except for the mint leaves I had for breakfast. Am I really starving myself in an attempt to get Gale's attention? Am I really that desperate?
I decide that, yes, I am, and I fall asleep almost immediately.
/
I slam the door shut behind me so hard that it nearly shakes the house.
"Gale Hawthorne-" My mother starts to scold me, but she stops short at the sight of the bandages. "What-?"
"It's nothing," I lie. "An accident."
That makes me wonder if it really was an accident. I know I snuck up behind Katniss, but does she really hate me enough that she let herself shoot me? She's been acting oddly bloodthirsty lately, so maybe….
I shake my head and walk past my mom. I don't want to talk to anyone about this right now. If I was mad at Katniss earlier, I'm irate now. Here I was thinking that I might needlessly apologize to her, and she shoots me. Now she's punched my girlfriend and injured me all in the matter of a few days.
Maybe this is enough to ruin our friendship.
/
The next day, I feel physically sick. I'm exhausted even though I slept well. My head throbs with a painful headache. I feel like I'm going to throw up all the time. I know immediately that it's been brought on by my starvation, but the illness by no means calls me to eat anything besides a tiny hunk of bread for breakfast.
I arrive at school in a terrible mood because of my sickness, and the happenings of the day just make it worse.
Gale avoids me as best as he can between classes, and, whenever we accidentally cross paths, he purposefully looks away from me like I'm some unsightly animal. I guess he does have every right to be at odds with me since I nearly skewered his shoulder yesterday, but it would nice if he would give me a chance to apologize.
When I see him at lunch, I start to feel extremely guilty over shooting him. His shoulder is still wrapped up in thick bandages, and it obviously makes it difficult to move his arm because he doesn't use that arm for the whole lunch period. While I'm watching him, his girlfriend kisses him on the cheek, and it actually seems to improve his mood.
I pretend to vomit into my soup bowl, much to Madge's amusement.
/
I'm able to avoid Katniss all day. I'm literally almost out of the school yard when someone grabs my uninjured arm. I turn around, expecting Tulip, but it's actually the little devil herself.
I'm about to tell her to go away when she gets this really distraught and remorseful look on her face. It takes me back a couple years to the first time I met her— how scared and sorry she looked. I blink a couple times, and her expression goes back to normal.
Maybe she actually does feel really bad for shooting me… Maybe she didn't do it intentionally… I wouldn't know.
"Tonight at 5:30?" she asks hopefully.
I don't really respond before I pull away and walk over towards my other friends and Tulip. I guess 5:30 is a generous offer from Katniss, considering we normally meet up at 4 pm. For a peace offering, it's a generally good shot.
I have to feed my family somehow, so… I guess I'll have to take Katniss up on her offer. Unless she decides to shoot at me again, in which case we probably won't be speaking to each other very often in the future.
/
I crouch down on the tree branch and put my bow in a ready position, prepared to shoot whatever animal gets within my range. I scan the surrounding forest, looking for the flickering movements of rabbits or squirrels.
But mostly I'm looking for Gale.
I'm still worried that he won't come. Even though I've been super mad at him lately, I don't want him to stop showing up completely. I never meant to ruin our friendship over this whole thing— I just wanted to make sure that he remembers that it's his job to keep his family fed. And now I've gone and shot him, and he didn't even have the decency to allow me to apologize.
He must think that I meant to do it or that I was happy it happened. God… this is terrible. Not only have I destroyed our friendship, but I've destroyed our hunting agreement too.
Why did Gale have to go and get a girlfriend in the first place? She's the problem in all of this. If she wasn't—
Suddenly, Gale appears at the base of the tree I'm crouching in, silent as a ghost. "What are you doing up there, Catnip?" he asks. "Were you waiting to shoot me again?"
He nearly scares the living daylights out of me, but I manage to keep my balance and jump gracefully back to the forest floor.
I should probably start out this conversation with something about how sorry I am, but for some reason I blurt, "You actually came."
He looks at me darkly. "I have to feed my family somehow."
We stand in silence for a second, and I have to look down at my hands to avoid his gaze. My guilt over this whole I-shot-Gale-and-he-probably-thinks-I-did-it-on-pur pose thing is really making it hard to keep up my position on his excessive tardiness.
Then, because for some reason I can't keep my mouth shut, I blurt, "Look, Gale, I'm really sorry about shooting your shoulder."
He lets out a heavy sigh. "Whatever. I didn't come tonight because I'm happy with you again. I came because my family needs to eat."
"Seriously, though," I say. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean—"
"Whatever, Catnip," Gale practically growls. "Can we just get hunting?"
"What is your problem, Gale?" I ask loudly, anger boiling up inside me again. "Can't you just let me apologize for once? Of course not! You're too busy rushing around so that you can get back to your stupid girlfriend!"
"Katniss, really—"
"You just came to make a few quick kills before running back to her side, huh?" I saw loudly. "I see what's more important to you now!"
Gale's eyes flash, but he keeps his jaw clenched. "Can we please just hunt and not fight for once? I'm seriously done."
I still feel all this frustration and anger bubbling up inside me, but I manage to keep my tongue because I want to salvage whatever friendship we have left. I'm about to scoop my bow and arrows back up when I see a rabbit dart between two trees out of the corner of my eye.
Like the trained hunters that we are, Gale and I both freeze.
The unsuspecting rabbit takes a little step out from behind the tree, and, in a flicker of a second, I snatch a knife out of my pocket and chuck it straight into the rabbit's eye.
I'm about to go collect the kill like normal, but Gale grabs my arm and yanks me back. "What the hell is that?" he asks me adamantly.
"What the hell is what?" I ask. I just killed a rabbit. What is wrong with that?
"Katniss, that's a Peacekeeper's knife!" Gale says.
Sure enough, that's exactly what is protruding from the rabbit's head.
"That's odd," I comment.
"Odd?" Gale asks loudly. "Where did you get it?"
The more I look at the knife, the more I start to remember things about it. Like I'm trying to recall details of a dream. I see myself wandering into the bar in the Seam and stealing a knife off a Peacekeeper I've never talked to in my life. The really weird part is, I have no idea when I did that.
"You know what, Gale? I think I stole it," I say in a strangely calm voice.
"You think you stole it?" Gale retaliates, looking at me like I'm insane. "That's sort of something you know for sure."
"I'm pretty positive I did it in my sleep because I can't really think of another time that I'd be impaired enough to feel like I was dreaming," I say. I don't know how I'm being outwardly calm about this. On the inside, I'm starting to panic. "Unless I've been drunk without really knowing…"
"Oh my god, Katniss, you are insane," Gale says quietly, taking a few steps backwards.
"There's probably a rational explanation for this—"
Gale takes in a slow breath and shakes his head. "I think I'll just go check the snare line and go home."
I yank the Peacekeeper knife out of the rabbit. "Gale, really. It's not a big deal—"
"What has happened to you?" Gale asks. "You're like a totally different person."
"I don't know, okay?" I—"
"You need serious help," Gale interrupts me. Before I can say anything in response to that, he disappears behind some trees to go see what his snares have caught.
And I'm left kneeling in the dirt, holding a Peacekeeper knife that I apparently stole without processing, wondering why on earth this sort of stuff always happens to me.
/
About twenty minutes after Gale leaves, I find another Peacekeeper knife in another one of my pockets.
Apparently I stole more than I thought.
/
It's almost dark by the time I decide to head back home. I hunted pretty well with my Peacekeeper knife, and I end up with quite a few rabbits. Since I'm not really sure how much the snare line caught in the past 24 hours, I decide to stop at the Hawthornes' house.
I knock on the back door, and Hazelle lets me in immediately. I find myself strangely disappointed that it wasn't Gale who answered my knock, though. It's not that I don't like Hazelle— I love Hazelle. She's more of a mother to me than my own mom. It's just, I feel the need to apologize and explain my sanity to Gale, and if he had gotten the door, that would have been a perfect opportunity.
I casually glance over at the table in the small kitchen, and there's only two dead rabbits lying there. I immediately plunge my hand into my game bag and retrieve two squirrels.
"Take these," I say, holding them out to her.
She tries to refuse them, but I don't allow it. We stand in silence for a second, and I decide to swallow up my pride and just ask for Gale.
"By chance, is Gale home?" I ask. He could just be hiding from me, after all.
"No, he barely came in to drop of the game," Hazelle says. "He left a couple minutes ago."
To go make out with his girlfriend, no doubt. I think to myself.
"Why? Do you need me to tell him something?" Hazelle asks.
Lord knows I can't tell Hazelle anything about me stealing the knives subconsciously, so I backtrack quickly and decide to let Gale figure it all out by himself. I dig the second Peacekeeper knife out of my game bag and toss it into the table. "Gale left that in the forest," I tell Hazelle. "Let him know I brought it back."
"Of course," she replies.
I head over to the door, but I am overcome by a strange desire to just spill how sorry I am about yelling at Gale constantly, but I hold it in. "Good night, Hazelle," I say.
"Good night," she replies. "I'll let Gale know you stopped by."
Chances are he won't care. I decide not to tell Hazelle that either because that will just make it all worse.
/
When I get home later that night, there are two more squirrels on the table. It makes me want to walk straight out of the room and pretend I didn't see because I'm so fed up with Katniss and her stealing shenanigans, but my mom has already noticed my return.
"Katniss stopped by while you were gone," she says, nodding towards the table.
Dammit all. Why does Katniss insist on scaring the crap out of me and then turning around and doing something nice?
"She also returned your knife," my mom says. I give her a confused look, so she tacks on. "Katniss said you left it in the forest. It's on the table."
Dreading what I might see, I walk over to the table, and sure enough, there's another Peacekeeper knife laying there, this one slightly different than the one Katniss used in the forest.
"Are you kidding me?" I hiss under my breath.
"What did you say?" my mom asks.
"Nothing," I mutter. I close my fist tightly around the handle of the knife and start to stalk out of the room, but my mom catches my arm.
She looks at me seriously. "I'm worried about Katniss."
"Me, too," I say without thinking.
"Have you noticed how thin she's getting?" my mom asks quietly.
It doesn't really dawn on me until that precise moment that she has been looking quite emaciated. I suddenly find myself feeling blinded and horrified.
Katniss is turning into a major problem. And the worst part is, it's making me care.
/
The next day at lunch, Gale appears in front of me and slams the Peacekeeper knife down on the table.
"Another one?" he asks roughly. "Really, Catnip?"
He starts to stalk away, and for some reason I shout, "I'm just as concerned as you are!" after him for almost no reason.
/
I wander over to the trash can with another full plate. My self-induced starvation is still wreaking havoc on my system, but I feel too nauseous (and weirded out by the fact that I've started to steal) to eat.
I dump my tray in the trash, and I become acutely aware that someone is watching me. When I turn around, I see that a blond guy, the baker's son, is staring all concernedly at me. I wonder if he's judging me for not eating.
"What are you looking at?" I snap.
He flinches, blushes a furious red, and goes back to eating.
/
"What am I going to do, Madge?" I ask despondently during lunch. I have just finished explaining to her my kleptomania issue because I found another knife in my pocket this morning. I glance over at Gale and his girlfriend. Frankly, I kind of don't blame him for dating this girl. She seems a lot more pleasant to be around at the moment.
"I don't know, Katniss," Madge says with a sigh. "Why aren't you eating?"
"You know about as well as I do, Madge," I reply.
"Katniss…" she moans.
"Don't worry about me," I say, sticking one of the school knives in my pocket. "Just eat your soup." Then I process what I just did. I just stole a knife without thinking about it. I quickly take it back out of my pocket and push it away like it's poisoned.
I manage to not steal any knives for the rest of the day (I think). I wander out into the schoolyard and glumly wait for Prim. She's probably off somewhere giggling and chatting with her million-and-one friends, while I wait here completely alone as my (ex?) best friend is probably making out with his girlfriend behind the school.
I really just want to get home. I feel crumby and weak from my food strike. I don't think this plan is working in my favor. It is not getting Gale back. Oh my god, where the heck is Prim?
"Catnip?"
I am so shocked to hear Gale's voice saying this that it takes a few seconds for me to register it. "What?" I ask.
"My mother says she's worried about you," he says.
"So?"
"So she says she'll kill me if I don't make sure you're okay," he says. For some reason, this comment really hacks me off. Suddenly, I'm filled with an infinite rage, which I decide to aim at Gale.
"Well, Gale," I snap, "you can tell your mother this: I haven't eaten in at least three days, I have no friends apart from Madge, I've been wasting precious energy and time hunting for your family as well as mine, and I seem to be growing oddly attracted to knives and stealing. How's that sound?"
"You haven't eaten in three days?" he says.
"No, I haven't, Gale," I say sharply. "I haven't eaten in three days, and I have lost even more weight, if that's possible. Does that make you happy?"
"No," he says, shocked, "why would it?"
"I don't know," I say. "I don't understand you at all anymore!" I think about adding "I don't understand myself either," but I decide not to. Instead, I start to turn away from him.
"Catnip—"
"Just go back to your precious girlfriend, and leave me alone," I say, my voice rising.
"Katniss, stop-"
"Gale-"
"Katniss, calm down!" he says, grabbing my arm. "You need to eat something. Now."
"I don't want to," I say.
"Katniss—"
"Maybe I want to die," I say before I really think about it.
"There are a lot easier ways to die," Gale says darkly.
"Right," I say, "how silly of me. How about I just get myself reaped this weekend and get myself into the Hunger Games. Then all of Panem will get to watch me publicly get murdered."
"Catnip, you know that's not what I meant," says Gale. He's starting to look concerned. Good.
"Oh right," I say sarcastically. "Because there's an even easier way to die. I can just get myself shot by a Peacekeeper. They're always nearby and handy, especially with the Reaping coming up. You want to watch me provoke the Peacekeepers?"
"Katniss," he says warningly. I turn on my heels and start walking towards the main square where I know there'll be Peacekeepers. "Catnip, I swear to god, if you go-"
"Guess what, Gale?" I yell loud enough for the Peacekeepers to hear me. "I hate District 12! I hate the Hunger Games! I hate the Capitol! I hate Peacekeepers! And most of all-"
I don't even get to say what I hate most of all because at least three Peacekeepers start heading towards me, their hands moving towards their guns.
Gale grabs onto me to stop me. "She doesn't know what she's saying!" he tells the Peacekeepers as they get closer. He clamps his hands over my mouth before I can claim otherwise. "She's sick! She doesn't know what she's saying. Do you, Catnip?" Somewhat reluctantly, I shake my head. The Peacekeepers return the guns to their holsters and return to their patrolling.
Gale spins me around to face him. "Katniss, what the hell?"
"What?" I ask innocently.
"What was that about? What has happened to you?"
"She happened," I say acidly, pointing recklessly across the schoolyard where his girlfriend is standing. A mix of emotion floods over his face. I rip my arm out of his grip. "Goodbye, Gale," I say and march off.
"Wait, Katniss," he yells. I keep walking. "Do you mean 'goodbye for now' or 'goodbye, I'm going to starve myself and get shot by Peacekeepers'?"
"A little bit of both," I yell over my shoulders.
"Catnip!" he yells.
"WHAT NOW?"
"I'll see you later," he yells. "Like usual, okay?"
I feel a smile creep across my face without my permission. Maybe we can come out of this okay. Maybe Blondey and I can both exist in Gale's life.
"We'll see."
/
I watch Katniss walk away, and I'm…confused.
I have to stand there for a few seconds genuinely thinking about what just happened. First off, Katniss hasn't been eating for several days, and that could possibly be my fault. And she could be a little suicidal. I mean, she just provoked a Peacekeeper. And to top it all off, she's stealing knives, and she doesn't really remember doing it.
She's losing it…and I'm starting to care again.
She can be so frustrating sometimes, but… She is my friend- has been for four years. I feel like we need to fix this.
I glance over my shoulder at Tulip and then look back in the direction that Katniss has disappeared, and I make the earthshattering decision that I am going to meet Katniss in the forest. That conversation we had- however messed up it was- reminded me of why we're friends.
And besides, someone needs to be there to make Katniss eat, right?
/
I meet Gale at our usual meeting spot, and we hunt. It's almost like it used to be. I think…I think we might be okay. Gale keeps insisting I eat berries and roots that we gather- which I don't. I seem to have a continuous run of undercutting jokes about Blondey going, but Gale actually laughs at some of them.
I've also noticed that I'm pretty good at knifing game with my stolen knives.
We deposit some game at my house. Gale tells Prim she has to force feed me food from now on. Then I walk with Gale to his house to tell Hazelle I'm alright- which I'm clearly not, but that's beside the point.
Gale makes me promise that I'll eat, but promises are meant to be broken, right?
/
The door shuts behind Katniss as she waves off my insistence that she eat. I sigh. I'm almost positive that she's not going to eat. She's stubborn.
My mom shakes her head like she's astounded by the change in Katniss. "What's gotten into her?" she asks me.
"I don't know." I sigh again. "She's mad at my girlfriend or something."
"Oh, so that's what this is about," my mom says, and then she laughs to herself. "I saw this coming from a mile away."
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"If you're about to tell me that Katniss is jealous, she's not," I insist, although I'm not so sure about it myself. I repeat what I told Tulip. "If she had feelings for anyone, she would be the last to know."
"Whatever you say," my mom says with a shrug.
She leaves the room, and I'm left to think about Katniss's motivation.
/
I moan. I don't know what time it is. I stretch and feel leaves rustling beneath me. I smell earth. I can hear the rustling of trees
My eyes snap open, and I jerk up to a sitting position. I look around me frantically.
The last thing I remember is telling Prim goodnight and lying down in bed. How the heck did I get in the forest? Maybe I'm still dreaming? But I'm not. This is real.
There's a knife that is not my own in my hand. In fact, there're a lot of knives around me. Like a lot of knives. There are at least fifteen. Where'd I get all of these? And more importantly, how'd I get here with all of the knives?
"Gale?" I call. No one responds.
I suddenly remember that today's reaping day, and I probably shouldn't be here right now.
I hurriedly hide the knives and wander back to the fence. People are already heading to the square. I run back to my house, knives carefully hidden in my jacket.
A/N: Please tell us your thoughts. Hope you enjoyed :)