Title: Control

Rating: T, rated for language and possible sexual references

Main Character: Effy Stonem.

Ships: Effy/Freddie, Sid/Cassie, mentions of past Michelle/Tony and Chris/Jal

Disclaimer: I wish Skins could belong to me, but unfortunately, it doesn't. Sadface.

Summary: After her brother dies, Effy feels lost. How many different people will it take for her to be able to feel steady again? Set after 3x08, "Effy."

Tony

"Fuck!" she yelled, her hands fumbling with a cigarette, shaking so bad that she couldn't seem to keep a hold on it to light it. It slipped out of her fingertips, landing in a shallow puddle at her feet. "Fuck," she repeated loudly, slamming her heel down on the fag, tiny tobacco flakes oozing from the cigarette. Effy merely peered at it in disgust, as if it had betrayed her. As if she needed anyone else to betray her. "Fuck, Tony, where the fuck are you?" she cursed, bouncing up and down slightly, an attempt to warm up, on the brick wall that she was sitting on.

Effy's head spun around when she heard the scream; it was the kind of scream that good actors pulled off in horror movies--it was a genuine scream. It was her mother. Effy rushed inside, dropping yet another cigarette. She had barely opened the door before slipping through it and saw her mother standing stiff in the kitchen, phone clutched to ear by knuckles that were too white. "It's Tony," her mother whispered, barely audible.

Later, Effy was sitting on her bed, looking at her opposite wall as if it wasn't even there. Her mouth was a thin line, almost invisible. She did not move. She did not speak. She did not acknowledge her parents' banging on her door and she did not pay attention to the bzz-bzz-bzz of her phone; Michelle, or Sid, the next people that anyone would have called.

The only thing Effy saw was Tony, a figure that seemed to have no edges, as if he never ended. "You can't be sad, Ef," he said, his voice the same slightly cheerful tone as always. "Well, you can, really, but you shouldn't. What's the point? There's a stripper factory here! A fucking stripper factory, Ef. And it isn't so bad, really, I mean it didn't hurt. I died before the car hit the tree, because of the aneurysm and all. I always figured that bus accident would come back and bite me in the ass." He shook his head, lighting up a cigarette, pearls of smoke reaching toward the ceiling. Cool, grey tendrils reached up to the ceiling like hands reaching for the sky and disappearing on the eggshell white ceiling.

Effy looked at Tony, the kind she used to give him when she didn't believe a thing he was saying. Tony tilted his head, a gesture that gave her warrant to be mad. Tony had always been the smooth talker, but he and Effy had never needed words. "You've been biting your nails again," he commented, breaking the silence. Effy shrugged. One shoulder up, one shoulder down, a movement so swift Tony would have missed it if he hadn't been watching her so carefully. He reached for her chin, trying to take it in his hands, and just like that he's gone. Just like that it's obvious that he was never there in the first place.

Effy lit a cigarette, inhaling a long drag and closing her eyes. She expected to feel tears around her eyes, but there was nothing there. She was like a robot; she didn't feel anything. Just empty, like someone had stolen just enough of her heart that she was still alive, but not enough to function properly. Tony had always been a piece of her heart. He was the only one who was always there for her. Even after what happened with Katie…He had been driving out to see her. Take care of her when she needed him most. And now…

She shook the thought out of her head and lay back on her bed with her legs curled underneath her and off to the side awkwardly. She sighed, pushing herself to one side, her head rested on her arm. Effy's fingers brushed over her phone, still vibrating on the bed next to her, a long distance number; had to be Sid. It must have cost him a fortune to call her, but Effy still merely stared blankly at the phone until it went to message. After a few moments, Effy picked it up, pressing it closely to her ear. Sid's voice came across the line, sounding muffled, and like he was talking through tin. "Hey, Ef. Your mum's just called me. Y'alright? We're flying out soon. See you." Effy was surprised that Sid had bothered to call her--maybe he really was different. Effy lay there for a long while, her phone still pressed to her ear, even as her elbow cramped.

Suddenly Effy gasped, feeling like someone had just poured a bucket of cold water on her. "He's gone," she hissed, her voice quiet as she shut her eyes tightly. "He's gone." She placed her cigarette between her lips and curled up into the fetal position. After Katie--the way Freddie, Emily and Panda had looked at her--all Effy could think was that at least she had Tony. At least she had Tony. At least she had Tony. Now she had…no one. She was alone. Just...alone.