Pancakes and Baseball Bats
Author's Note: The baseball bat/trashcan and waffles idea was my friend's. She takes complete credit for that, but I take credit for the pancakes and spatula. Fireproof/Shrek/P.S. I Love You references.
Ria obviously didn't see the splotches of oozing batter sticking to the ceiling of Eli's apartment when she walked in on him. Her wet hair hung over her back, and Eli looked up. "I'm makin' waffles!" The statement was perfect Eli. Completely stupid and honest.
"And? How did that go?" Eli pointed to the ceiling.
"They got stuck to the ceiling." Ria looked up to have a huge glob of batter fall right down onto her shirt. She looked over at Eli, her eyes blazing.
"How do you get waffle mix on the ceiling?!" Eli pouted at her.
"Well...it's possible. I'm better with eggs." Ria stomped off in the direction of the bedroom. Not but a minute later, the door slammed shut and her hairdryer started. Ten minutes passed and then Ria emerged.
"Eli, where's the trashcan?"
"Outside, why?"
"Okay." Ria grabbed the key off the counter and went outside, grabbing a baseball bat and shutting the door behind her. She emptied the trashcan and went out into the driveway to the apartment complex, where she proceeded to hit the trashcan with intense rage. Five minutes later, after getting her frustrations out on the trashcan, did she look up to see the lower floor elderly couple watching her. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Williams." She walked back inside, and the two looked at each other.
"Happens every week, Frank."
"I know, Helen. It worries me. I have a feeling her husband is losing it."
Ria came back inside and set the baseball bat back by the door. "Have fun, Ri?"
"Shut up, Eli." Ria came over to the counter where the griddle was. "I thought you said waffles."
"Oh well. They didn't agree with me. Besides, if you start eggs right now, by the time these are done, we'll have a good breakfast." Ria went over to the stove and turned it on, then cracked five eggs into a bowl.
"I don't think the Williams like me."
"Ri...no one likes you." Ria whacked Eli on the butt.
"Say it again, Eli." He turned to her and placed his hands on his hips.
"You wanna piece of me? Come on." Ria sauntered over to Eli and crossed her arms.
"Fine." She dropped her defensive stance and grabbed Eli by his belt loops. "I've got you now, Eli...and there's nothing you can do about it." Instead of pushing her away, he leaned down, and...
BEEP BEEP BEEP...They were interrupted by the alarm on the stove. But Eli took one last remark, and Ria came at him with a spatula. "So do you think we need a new trashcan?" Eli ducked the whizzing spatula and grabbed Ria by the waist. He picked her up easily and tossed her over his shoulder. She kicked, narrowly missed him, and when he set her back down, he ran for the hills, or in his case, the stairs. Eli slowly came back down the stairs.
"Eli, we do NOT need a new trashcan. Not until the one we have falls apart." Ria gave him the eye and then Eli walked back into the kitchen and over to his pancakes and flipped them.